If you hope to keep vampires away with Taco Bell’s new Steak Garlic Nacho Fries, you better have the sun’s power in your pocket because the garlic isn’t robust. You won’t find the pungent ingredient minced on this menu item. Instead, it’s in a garlic ranch sauce that’s combined with seasoned fries, nacho cheese sauce, steak, pico de gallo, and cheddar cheese.

Also, what you’re not going to find at the top of this review is a photo of the chain’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries. That is a photo of the Steak Loaded TRUFF Nacho Fries. Below is a picture of the newest loaded fries.

Look, I know, water is wet, Disneyland is expensive, streaming services will continue to raise their prices, and new Taco Bell menu items are usually slight tweaks of something that’s already been on the menu. I also know the photo above this paragraph isn’t of Taco Bell’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries. It’s actually a photo of its Steak White Hot Ranch Fries.

I’m 99.5% sure the photo above this paragraph is the Steak Garlic Nacho Fries with its lacking garlic ranch sauce. I taste more ranch flavor than garlic, but it needs to be the other way around. It’s a good sauce, but it’s not garlicky enough for my taste buds or to create a pungent aura around me to prevent vampires from entering my personal space.

Other than the heat-less white sauce, everything else was what I’ve experienced with all the other loaded Nacho Fries. It’s a satisfying and tasty pile of potatoes, tender meat, and savory toppings. Although, I have to ask. Does nacho cheese sauce have to be on EVERY ONE of these loaded fries? Look, I know I can customize it to not have the gloopy orange sauce, but does it have to be a default? It adds flavor, but I imagine it also subtracts some of the flavor from the other ingredients, like the garlic ranch sauce, by overwhelming it.

With all that said, my enjoyment of Taco Bell’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries was on par with the other loaded Nacho Fries varieties that look like it.

Purchased Price: $7.19*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 490 calories, 31 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1200 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), and 14 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

I’m no expert when it comes to Taco Bell product nomenclature, but I think the new Taco Bell Cheesy Dipping Burritos should’ve been called Meaty Cheesy Dipping Burritos because I found them to be more meaty than cheesy.

An order comes with two burritos, and two versions are available: one with Cantina slow-roasted chicken and another with grilled, marinated steak. Both also come stuffed with a blend of cheddar, pepper jack, and mozzarella cheeses and Avocado Ranch in a flour tortilla with cheese grilled to the outside. By default, a side of creamy chipotle sauce is included for dipping. But you can swap that with the equally creamy nacho cheese sauce or reduced fat sour cream. Hmmm. Maybe these should’ve been called Meaty Cheesy Creamy Dipping Burritos?

Taco Bell describes these as “two snack-sized burritos” and also says that these come with a “full serving” of chicken or steak. However, what I noticed after picking up my bag is that they don’t feel snack-sized, and without any vegetables, rice, beans, guacamole, Fiesta Strips, pico de gallo, jalapeños, or Seasoned Fries in them, they feel like they’re filled to the gills with meat. With just three ingredients in them – meat, cheese, and sauce – maybe these should’ve been called Easy Peasy Meaty Cheesy Creamy Dipping Burritos.

The cheeses inside and outside of them don’t play a significant flavor role because the Avocado Ranch and meat seem to take center stage here. But that’s without dipping it into the creamy chipotle sauce. When the smoky and peppery sauce is applied, it takes over the taste buds, mostly negating the Avocado Ranch but letting the meat’s flavor get some of the spotlight. However, the steak’s flavor stood out noticeably more, making things taste too meaty and less balanced. Between the two varieties, I preferred the Cantina chicken’s taste over the steak’s, with and without the dipping sauce.

While both varieties are good, I still can’t get behind the name Cheesy Dipping Burritos. They have cheese, but whatever is included doesn’t make them taste cheesy. I guess if you really want these to be truly cheesy, swap the chipotle sauce with Taco Bell’s bright nacho cheese sauce and turn them into the Easy Peasy Meaty Cheesy Creamy Orangey Dipping Burritos.

Purchased Price: $6.59*
Size: 2 burritos per order
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chicken), 6 out of 10 (Steak)
Nutrition Facts: (2 burritos w/Creamy Chipotle Sauce) Slow Roasted Chicken – 720 calories, 50 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1430 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein. Steak – 710 calories, 49 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1580 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did. The advertised price is $4.99.

Taco Bell is once again turning its attention to chicken nuggets. The first attempt was its Naked Chicken Chips, which were uniform tortilla chip-shaped breaded pieces of poultry marinated in Mexican spices that came with a side of nacho cheese sauce. This latest take features all-white meat chicken marinated in jalapeño buttermilk and breaded with tortilla chips and your choice of sauce.

I was not impressed after opening the clamshell packaging they came in. Six of the ten pieces looked more like popcorn chicken than nuggets. Also, those smaller pieces remind me of protein oat balls eaten by hikers or meteorites that give puppies superpowers. I haven’t noticed any powers yet, but I’ll let you know when I can lift a car.

I might’ve gotten unlucky with what I received, but I imagine someone out there might get it worse and have only popcorn chicken-sized pieces in their five-piece order and feel even more ripped off than I do. It was nine dollars for ten pieces at my local Taco Bell, which is a dollar more than a TWENTY-piece order of Chicken McNuggets.

Size and price aside, these Crispy Chicken Nuggets were tasty with the sauces, which I’ll get to in a moment. Thanks to the tortilla chips, the exterior is crunchier than other fast food nuggets. Within that coating is chicken that’s surprisingly tender and somewhat still juicy. Although the largest one in my box had noticeably dry meat. The jalapeño buttermilk marinade added some pepperiness, and I could taste the chips, but these nuggets are best when dipped.

A moment has passed, and now I can mention the sauces these nuggets are being advertised with: Hidden Valley Ranch Fire Ranch, Bell Sauce, and Jalapeño Honey Mustard Sauce. Although I ordered the last one, the location I went to did not have it. You can also order this with any of the other sauces Taco Bell offers, like nacho cheese sauce.

Both sauces I got went exceptionally well with the chicken’s spices and flavors. The Fire Ranch is basically ranch with Mexican spices, which amps the seasoning in the coating. The Hidden Valley Ranch uniqueness is there, but there’s also a very mild spicy kick. It’s a tasty dip, but my taste buds enjoyed the Bell Sauce more, which is made with tomatoes, green chiles, garlic, and onion. For some reason, two things came to mind when I ate it with these nuggets: KFC and barbecue, but with a Tex-Mex twist.

Taco Bell’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets taste very good with the sauces and have a crunchy coating, but those tiny pieces bother me A LOT. I wish they were uniform in size and shape, so this wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe it should bring back the chip shape. Or, even better, if there’s a third attempt at chicken nuggets, bell-shaped ones.

Purchased Price: $8.99
Size: 10 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (10 pieces) 670 calories, 33 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1840 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 72 grams of protein.

Throw on that pair of mismatched sunglasses from Pizza Hut and jump in the Delorean because we’re going BACK IN TIII-IIIIME!

… and I just realized that Back to the Future is closer to the OG release of the Caramel Apple Empanada than we are now and had a mini existential crisis.

Ahem. All good!

In case you missed the news, Taco Bell recently launched a Decades menu featuring favorites from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and now the 00s with the topic of this review, the Caramel Apple Empanada.

I’m not quite sure why we had to wait an additional three weeks for said empanada, but let me first assure you all that it was well worth the wait.

The shell is perfectly crisp and flaky, with a lovely tender, yet toothsome texture. The filling is a beautiful marriage of apple chunks with just enough texture to make themselves known without being overwhelming, and the sea of gooey caramel they are swimming in has a thick, unctuous mouthfeel that made me feel nostalgic for the days of butterfly hair clips, Smash Mouth, and way too much body glitter. The Bell managed to strike a perfect balance in the ratio of filling to crust as well, just enough that the crust is there to add texture and crunch, but still know when to step back and let the filling take center stage. Even the smell was perfect, a combination of pastry, sugar, and fryer grease that someone should eye for a limited edition scented candle or perhaps an empanada-shaped car air freshener.

Those of you who remember the OG CAE (Caramel Apple Empanada) will be thrilled to learn that, just like the original, the filling is served at roughly the temperature of the sun. Please be cautious when taking that first bite, lest you wind up with a tastebud impairing burn to go along with your dessert, especially if you’re a dessert-first kinda person like me.

All in all, the CAE is a delicious callback to a bygone era of Taco Bell, when there was a dessert on the menu you could pretend was vaguely healthy due to the presence of actual fruit imprisoned within its deep fried walls. The only demerit it receives is due to its unfortunately limited availability. So go get your hands on one while you can! Maybe if they sell well enough, Taco Bell will consider bringing them back on a more permanent basis. At least, a girl can hope.

Purchased Price: $1 with App Promotion ($2.99 regular price)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of total sugar, and 3 grams of protein.