Will you ever catch a rainbow? Will you ever get within whispering distance of Taylor Swift? Will you ever watch everything available on Netflix? Does adding bacon and cheese make Popeyes’ already great chicken sandwich even better?

The answer to all of these questions is no.

Popeyes’ new Classic Bacon & Cheese Chicken Sandwich combines the chain’s original Chicken Sandwich (with barrel-cured pickle slices, mayo, and buttery toasted brioche buns) with a few bacon slices and some Havarti cheese. Oh, and to make the others on the menu feel included, bacon and cheese are also available on all Popeyes Chicken Sandwich varieties, even the returning Blackened version (which is now a permanent item).

I’ve never had bacon from Popeyes, but after peeling a small rogue piece off the bun and tasting it, I have to say that it was the most memorable piece of fast food bacon I’ve ever had. It was smoky, meaty, salty, and slightly crispy. Unfortunately, most of the flavor characteristics get lost when eating it with the rest of the sandwich. There’s a hint of smokiness, but the bacon’s texture is more noticeable than its flavor.

While the bacon doesn’t provide much taste, the Havarti is pretty much like a ghost, opaque and flavorless. I don’t know how Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man do it. Even when eating the cheese on its own, I couldn’t detect any flavor. Although, if it did have some, I imagine it would be hard for the mild tasting cheese to compete with the mayo, pickles, and the chicken’s Cajun spices.

With that said, I’m not in any way, shape, or form saying this sandwich is terrible. It’s just not worth the premium. It still pretty much tastes like Popeyes’ Classic Chicken Sandwich, and biting into it confirms that Popeyes’ offering continues to be my favorite fast food chicken sandwich. There’s a very slight smokiness from the bacon, but that doesn’t make this better than the original and it’s not enough to convince me to repurchase it. If I want a Popeyes sandwich that tastes like the chain’s Classic Chicken Sandwich, I’d just buy the original, which is also a dollar cheaper.

Purchased Price: $7.99*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 830 calories, 53 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1875 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 36 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

It is undeniable the impact the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich continues to have on the fast food landscape over three years since it first debuted. With its newest offering, Popeyes is looking at the unbreaded chicken sandwich options and raising the bar yet again. The Popeyes Blackened Chicken Sandwich starts with a 12-hour marinated filet that is finished with a unique blend of spices that give the item a signature blackened flavor. After frying it, it’s placed on a brioche bun with crisp pickles and mayo (or spicy sauce if you opt for the Spicy version).

While I am a huge fan of the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich, I was a little worried about this new version. Unbreaded (“grilled”) chicken sandwiches at fast food restaurants are usually awful in my experience. They are often a bizarre textural blend of wet on the outside but dry on the inside. I also wanted to find out how the blackened flavor would be as I’ve had some instances where it overpowered the protein it’s used on.

The aromatic smell of the spices was absolutely delightful as I took the sandwich out of its bag. In case you’re not familiar, blackened seasoning is a blend of spices that usually has paprika as the base with cayenne pepper, onion powder, oregano, thyme, and garlic. Popeyes’ version adds three types of pepper (red, black, white) and cumin to give it a unique flavor profile.

The blend that Popeyes developed for this sandwich was perfect. It’s well balanced to have a bit of the peppery spice but not cross into painfully spicy. There was even a bit of sweetness in the seasoning that really pushed it over the edge in terms of deliciousness. Since this was an unbreaded filet, I was incredibly curious about how it would come out. My worries about it being overly dry were immediately put to rest as I cut the sandwich in half.

The outside of the filet was crisp but not dry, and the inside was incredibly juicy and tender. The mayo and pickles work well with the blackened seasoning by supporting it and not competing with it. The brioche bun elevates the whole thing by adding a slight sweetness. The first few bites were nearly perfect, until the chicken’s succulence started to create a soggy mess. I think the person who made the sandwich went a little heavy on the mayo, and the bun wasn’t nearly toasted enough to stand up to the components as they sat longer.

There is no doubt in my mind that Popeyes continues to set the bar when it comes to chicken sandwiches. Even though it wasn’t made “perfectly,” my sandwich was incredibly delicious. The blackened seasoning works well, the unbreaded chicken filet is extremely tasty, and when you get that bite with all the ingredients, it’s just an enjoyable flavor experience. I will absolutely get this again and look forward to trying the spicy variation.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 550 calories, 29 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 1900 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.

Before Popeyes’ Chicken Sandwich became the darling of the fast food world, the chain was known for its array of dipping sauces. It seemed like there was something new for us to dip its fried food in every quarter. So it’s not surprising to see Popeyes pop out a new condiment for its Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwich, which combines creamy herb buttermilk ranch with a zesty and buttery buffalo sauce.

I guess Popeyes could’ve included two different sauces with this sandwich, but that would’ve been, as they like to say in the Quick Service Restaurant (QSR) industry, inefficient. The orange Franken-flavoring is applied to both halves of a buttery brioche bun that also holds the brand’s signature hand-battered and breaded chicken and barrel cured pickles.

However, the combo doesn’t create a condiment that I’d consider a Buffalo ranch. Instead, it’s more like a buffalo ranch. Think of it as a less intense Buffalo sauce in terms of flavor and heat, and whatever ranch notes there are, they’re not noticeable. It’s as if the Buffalo sauce’s vinegary tang hides the ranch’s tang. It also doesn’t help that the pickles cut through the condiment’s intensity.

You know what you’re getting with the chicken if you’ve had any previous Popeyes Chicken Sandwich. It’s a pleasantly plump piece that has an equally pleasant crunchy coating. But, because the sauce’s flavor isn’t too bold and the poultry is thicker in the middle, it’s the reason why I didn’t notice the condiment at all when I took bites from the center of the sandwich. However, the Buffalo flavor was much more noticeable when I took bites from the sandwich’s edges.

Popeyes’ Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwich is a fine evolution of the original but doesn’t surpass or equal it. Because of the solid base built with the now familiar chicken, pickles, and bun, even the addition of a slightly disappointing sauce still makes it worth a try. Although, if you’re a ranch stan, this sandwich may disappoint your taste buds.

SIDE NOTE: I’d really like to see Popeyes reach into its vast sauce vault (it’s probably called The Sault and located in Louisiana) and offer its chicken sandwich with previous sauces.

Price: $7.69*
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 634 calories, 35 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 86 milligrams of cholesterol, 1667 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did. Also, I got it delivered, so it was 70 cents more expensive in the Doordash app.

What is Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie?

As the smoke finally clears from the drawn-out and bloated chicken sandwich wars that it started, Popeyes has set its sight on something many of its competitors already offer — chocolate chip cookies. Chick-fil-A, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, and even KFC, all who were challenged by Popeyes’ titan of a chicken sandwich in 2019, have all offered cookies for years, and this time it’s Popeyes showing up fashionably late to the party.

How is it?

What set Popeyes’ chicken sandwich apart from the rest was its hand-breaded freshness. While I know it’s a fast food sandwich, it still felt like a step above the price point and an experience that lived up to and exceeded the hype.

It’s with that mindset that I was immediately let down when handed a chocolate chip cookie inside of a cellophane bag, clearly not baked on-site and far from fresh.

Maybe my expectations for Popeyes are too high, but this cookie tastes about as generic and nondescript as you can imagine. The base has a typical brown sugar and vanilla flavor with a less than desirable amount of semi-sweet chocolate chips throughout. It’s a bit dry and crumbly, not stale per se but a far cry from the soft and fresh texture of a place like Subway. This cookie isn’t awful, but for such a late entrant into the cookie space, it’s wholly unremarkable.

Anything else you need to know?

Did this cookie come from Safeway? Costco? KFC? If I didn’t walk into Popeyes and buy it with my own two hands, I would never be able to tell — it’s the definition of underwhelming and basic.

Conclusion:

For a chain that delivers an apple pie with a legitimately crispy crunchy fried outer shell and pulled off freshly fried chocolate-filled beignets, this cookie feels like the definition of an afterthought and not one worthy of capping off a meal that starts with Popeyes’ fantastic sandwich.

Purchased Price: 79 cents
Size: One Cookie
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 190 calories, 08grams of fat, 5 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Popeyes, widely regarded as the champion of fast food fried chicken, has a new and improved Homestyle Mac & Cheese.

Did you know it had an old and un-improved Homestyle Mac & Cheese? I sure didn’t. See, the thing is, I’ve never been able to bring myself to order anything other than the red beans and rice or the mashed potatoes with cajun gravy. And this is odd because, as a human person, I love macaroni and cheese. I even love macaroni and cheese from other fast-food chicken places. It is one of my go-to sides when I end up at KFC, where I gladly consume it despite the fact that it tastes inexplicably chlorinated.

But Popeyes nails it on chicken, chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches, biscuits, and the aforementioned sides, so why WOULDN’T it make a magnificent mac & cheese, too?

Well, they do.

Popeyes website boasts that its new noodle dish is “made with real butter and cream and topped with shredded cheddar cheese,” and this story checks out. The noodles themselves are perfectly cooked — soft and tender but not mushy. And there is plenty of cheese — a mild, creamy cheese that lovingly coats each noodle and the sharper, chewy cheddar that hides in pockets throughout the bowl.

It is a rich dish — likely owing to the real butter and cream — but not so rich that you won’t be able to eat the whole thing in like, 90 seconds and then go, “Dammit, Brandon, why did you eat the whole thing? Can’t you exercise more restraint than that?”

Despite the adulation, I do have two quibbles with this delectable side.

The first is that the texture is very one-note. And I get it, I do, this is mac & cheese, which is, by and large, a creamy, soft dish. But you know what elevates a very good mac & cheese to a great mac & cheese? A crunchy top. You know, breadcrumbs or what have you. You get a bit of textural differentiation because of the melted shredded cheddar, but it’s not enough to break up the monotony in your mouth. (Which again, I assure you, isn’t enough to keep you from wanting to consume an industrial barrel’s worth of this stuff.)

Second, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now when I get a meal and have to choose two sides. My gut says to alternate between the red beans and rice, mashed potatoes, and the new mac & cheese like a responsible adult. However, the fat kid who lives in my brain says, “GET ‘EM ALL, BUDDY. IT’S THE FUTURE. YOU CAN JUST 3D-PRINT SOME NEW ARTERIES.”

God bless technology, and god bless this macaroni and cheese.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Regular
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 22 grams of fat, 13.5 grams of saturated fat, 0.6 grams of trans fat, 609 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.