REVIEW: Little Caesars The Batman Calzony

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Little Caesars The Batman Calzony Bat

Maybe I’m jaded by fall 2021’s original Crazy Calzony, but my first thought upon seeing this uncannily bat-shaped tangle of bread and cheese was not “Oh, the humanity!” but “Wait… this one actually genuinely looks cool, seriously, I’m not even being ironic this time!” Unlike the deformed plus sign of yore, the Batman Calzony packs more pizza than calzone. It’s shaped something like what would happen if you bit a giant chunk off the top and bottom of a normal pizza pie and then immediately felt guilty and grafted half a calzone onto each gap in the hopes that no one would notice. (If Frankenstein ever gets a new movie adaptation, I have ideas for the next Calzony tie-in.)

The pizza patches are definitely thinner than the typical Caesarean slice, but intriguingly, they retain that soft, chewy texture that can be hard to find outside of thicker pizzas. This worked really well for me, giving a satisfying snap as I bit through the toppings and into the dough and allowing all the tastes — savory cheese, meaty pepperoni, sweet sauce, and bready crust — to mingle together easily. But if the two components of the Calzony are a crime-fighting duo with the superpower of novelty appeal, let’s just say that the pizza parts are the Robin.

Little Caesars The Batman Calzony Slice

Living up to Batman’s rep, the calzone sections immediately appear more glamorous and mysterious, artsily dotted with flavorful cheese. Biting into them, though, is an inconsistent experience. The squared edge where the calzone separates from the main body of the pie is breadier, both at its base and because of the dough folded on top of it, which is distinct both visually and taste-wise from the tapered end. In promo pictures, you can clearly see julienned pepperoni swimming in the open-faced cheese, but I insist they were not so prominent in my Batman Calzony!

Starting from said bread edge, the experience was like a traditional fast food breadstick, mild, garlicky, and pleasantly airy. In my second bite, I was waylaid by a surprisingly spicy pepperoni. I don’t think anyone should find it too fiery to handle, but the zing was noticeable enough to be worth mentioning and tangy enough to deal a pretty potent blast of flavor. However, things were conspicuously un-cheesy until I reached the pointed edge. Even so, if you’re expecting a hearty mouthful of ricotta like you might get at your local non-Little-Caesars pizzeria, you might be disappointed. It struck me as kind of sneakily brilliant that the official press release does not actually describe this section as a calzone in and of itself, but rather as “a calzone crust filled with garlic white sauce, cheese, and julienned pepperoni,” because the filling isn’t exactly the most, well, filling, and while all the ingredients of a calzone are there, I found the whole thing lacking in cohesion.

Little Caesars The Batman Calzony Box

Of course, cohesion is not likely to be anyone’s main reason for purchasing a novelty fast food pizza product shaped like the Bat-Symbol, so I’m still going to recommend this. After all, I’m not a superhero expert, but isn’t making sacrifices for the sake of looking cool kind of the whole point of Batman in the first place?

Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pizza) 2650 calories, 123 grams of fat, 50 grams of saturated fat, 245 milligrams of cholesterol, 6010 milligrams of sodium, 256 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 109 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Papa John’s NY Style Pizza

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Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Whole

Papa John’s has been busy lately with a bunch of new offerings, including the Triple Bacon, Shaq-a-Roni, and Epic Stuffed Crust pizzas, all of which earned generally positive reviews from my esteemed colleagues of culinary critique. Now comes the NY Style Pizza, which launched nationwide on December 27 and will be available through March 13, 2022.

I’m sure this will shock you to your core, but no, Papa John’s did not successfully replicate true New York-style pizza. Yes, these are foldable and (somewhat) oversized as Papa John’s advertises, and I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt that it is also hand-stretched as the website claims, even though I was not there to witness that. But if you tried serving this at a pizzeria in New York City, then a brouhaha, fracas and/or kerfuffle would probably ensue. Perhaps even all three.

Usually, my main qualification to do a review on this site is simply that I have a functioning mouth, but in this case, I do bring some pizza credentials. I grew up in New York (actually New Jersey, but we decided long ago as a state that it’s better to just say New York), so I’ve had my share of authentic New York pizza. And now, as a resident of Texas, I’m used to be being both disappointed and amused when I try New York pizza around here. Truthfully, some local joints come reasonably close, and maybe even closer than I give them credit, but I do deduct authenticity points when someone says, “Here’s y’alls pizza.”

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Slice

With that said, this isn’t bad — it is still pizza after all — and it’s a bit better than I thought it would be, especially considering it’s made using the standard Papa John’s crust, sauce, and cheese. To me, the two things that define New York pizza are the crust being both chewy and crispy with a few of those big air bubbles and the cheese having some stretch and snap along with an unhealthy amount of grease/oil.

Papa John’s fared well on the first requirement, and I think they probably did as well as they could using their regular crust, which I’ve always found to be a little too thick and chewy. This pizza fixed both of those issues, and it comes close to the overall thinness of New York pizza. The outer crust doesn’t quite hit the mark as far as the right balance of crisp and chewy, but it did contain a few modest-size air bubbles and faintly reminded me of New York crust.

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Crust

The shortcoming here is the standard Papa John’s cheese, which has very little of the stretchiness, snap, or general oiliness you might get with a New York pizza. The toppings (I went with pepperoni) were plentiful, so bonus points for that, and even though the slices were a little smaller than most New York pizza I’ve had, they did fold quite well.

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Fold

I didn’t expect to get anything close to real New York-style pizza when I ordered this — and I didn’t — but if you temper your expectations based on what a big chain can deliver using its standard ingredients, and you don’t have many other options in your area, then this is a serviceable pie.

Purchased Price: $13 with one topping
Size: Extra-large (16”)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Detailed nutritional information not available on the Papa John’s website, but it does say each cheese slice has 310 calories.

REVIEW: Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza

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Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Box

What is Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza?

Red Baron’s new “Fully Loaded” product line is named for its generous toppings. This pepperoni variety promises two kinds of pepperoni tossed among mozzarella cheese and a zesty tomato sauce. Also available are Five Cheese and Supreme varieties.

How is it?

As an avid fan of both junk food and the written word, I like to luxuriate in product descriptions. Finding just the right word can evoke glorious imagery. As I read the official Fully Loaded descriptions on Red Baron’s website, certain phrases characterizing this new product line’s toppings appealed to my inner word nerd: “loaded,” “mounds,” “piled high.”

What bounty! What splendor!

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Frozen

Unpackaged, the pizza is unfettered from those lofty expectations. Contrary to the product’s name, the Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza isn’t overloaded with toppings, although it offers enough to deliver great flavor.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Toppings

Slices of crisp, lightly spicy pepperoni pair with chewy, salty little pepperoni cubes to ensure each piece of pizza gets a hit of meat. Mozzarella covers the pizza but is too spare to achieve cheese-pull status. Flecks of cheddar are also present, but their flavor is largely lost among the mozzarella and pepperoni spices. The tomato sauce is a nice surprise: thick in texture with hints of sweetness and smoky paprika.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Crust

The real bounty of this pizza lies in the crust, which may be the most successful of all the Red Baron products I’ve tried. Moderately seasoned and buttery, it’s not too greasy. Thick and chewy, it somehow manages to remain airy and light. My only complaint is its tendency toward gumminess in the middle of the pizza, where the lightest part of the crust absorbs the sauce.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Cooked

The crust’s edges are crisp — and I mean crisp. Have you ever watched a cooking show where the host bites into their final creation, turns to the camera, and asks the viewer, “Did you hear that?” I was tempted to recreate that for you, but this is a written review and so you can’t hear the satisfying crunch of my pizza cutter rolling through this crispy, crispy crust. I’m sorry for that.

And I’m sorry to demote your star status, toppings.

Anything else you need to know?

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Side

This pizza reminds me a lot of DiGiorno’s Crispy Pan Pizza because they have similarly thick, yet airy crusts at comparable price points. I like both products equally.

Conclusion:

Red Baron’s Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza is hearty, flavorful, and among the brand’s stronger offerings. The product’s name sets high expectations that the toppings themselves don’t fulfill, but its thick, crispy crust helps to deliver an abundant bite.

Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: 27.85 oz (1 lb and 11.85 oz)/789 g
Purchased at: Giant Eagle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1/6 pizza) 380 calories, 19 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Papa John’s Triple Bacon Pizza

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Papa John s Triple Bacon Pizza Whole

What’s meatier than a Shaq-a-Roni, more novel than a Papadia, and able to clog three times as many arteries in a single bound? Papa John’s new Triple Bacon Pizza! Its claim to fame is containing three types of bacon: crumbles, julienne-cut pieces of Canadian bacon, and good old-fashioned strips.

At first glance, the strips were the most noticeable part of my pie. The chunky juliennes stood out as well, but were more prone to being submerged under cheese (this often made for a nice mid-bite surprise). The crumbles were the shrinking violets of the trio, with their smaller size, denser texture, and deeper color, making them surprisingly hard to tell apart from the dark dots of cheese. The lattice of varying shapes, textures, and shades of red made the pie look almost like a piece of avant-garde art—so like any good art connoisseur would, I immediately ripped it apart with my teeth.

The strips were, well, typical bacon strips, though I particularly enjoyed the variations in texture, with some bites lean and burnt and others fatty and chewy. On the other hand, the juliennes were consistently thick and tender, and since they were Canadian bacon, they had a slightly sweeter, meatier taste. I’m finding it harder to sum up the crumbles, whose standout feature seemed to be that they were just the strips, only torn into pieces. Papa John’s website specifically describes the crumbles as “smokey,” but for me the bulk of the smokey flavor came from the sheer surface area covered by the strips. While the strips were large enough that each one tended to have representation of both crispness and meatiness (even if they weren’t evenly distributed), each crumble typically only captured one of those flavors, which meant they didn’t contribute distinctly to the overall taste.

Papa John s Triple Bacon Pizza Slice

While I deeply appreciated the audacity of laying down full bacon strips across the entire pie, the flavorful juliennes with their perfectly pluckable shape were my favorite of the three types. Hearty enough to stand alongside the slice instead of just blending in, they had a similar appeal to the classic meatball or sausage pizza toppings, while the thin strips meshed with the cheese and sauce as smoothly as pepperoni. I’m not sure exactly what the advantage of the crumbles was. They felt like they were just tacked on as a cheap way to get a third selling point for this new menu item, and I suspect the two star students would shine better without them.

Papa John s Triple Bacon Pizza Bpx

All in all, the savory saltiness of these three breeds of bacon was a great, if not exactly world-shattering, pairing for Papa John’s dense cheese and sweet sauce. It made me wonder how this classic breakfast topping would hold up on a slice eaten cold the next morning, but my household demolished our box too quickly to tell. Fortunately, this meaty marvel is good enough that I don’t mind having an excuse to get it again some time and find out.

Purchased Price: $13 (that’s for the basic Triple Bacon pie, though I splurged an additional $3 to add stuffed crust)
Size: Large
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Information not available on website.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Crazy Calzony

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Little Caesars Crazy Calzony Top

Little Caesars has launched another limited-edition novelty item: the Crazy Calzony. According to Little Caesars, this fusion dish is a pizza with a “calzone-like crust filled with garlic white sauce and cheese.” I’ve been a Little Caesars fan for most of my life, so I felt compelled to try this.

The Crazy Calzony is available in pepperoni or cheese. I opted for the former. The pizza portion of the dish is topped with sliced pepperoni, while the calzone-like crust contains julienne pepperoni.

Upon opening the pizza box, I was struck by the Crazy Calzony’s unique aesthetic. It reminded me of a cross boomerang. The calzone crusts were overflowing with cheese and looked quite appetizing. Its aroma was quintessential Little Caesars, but with a heavier presence of garlic.

The pizza segment of the slices tasted exactly as one would expect. If you’ve had a pepperoni pizza from Little Caesars, you already have a good idea of how this tastes. The foundational pizza crust did seem a little thinner than usual, though.

Little Caesars Crazy Calzony Cheese

Now, onto the most important part: the calzone crust. With my first bite, a strong garlic flavor immediately jumped to the forefront. I love garlic, so it worked well for me, but it may be overbearing for some people.

Beyond the garlic, the creamy cheese stuffing tasted mildly sweet. Its texture and sweetness reminded me of the ricotta that is generally featured in calzones. The Crazy Calzony’s description states that the crust is filled with “garlic white sauce, cheese and julienne pepperoni.” I imagine that if it contained actual ricotta, the description would say so. The garlic white sauce likely mixes with the cheese to create that ricotta-like texture. Either way, it’s totally tasty.

The julienne pepperoni provides a nice textural contrast. Its mild spice helps to cut the creaminess of the cheesy filling and brings balance to the overall presentation.

Little Caesars Crazy Calzony Dip

Dipping the calzone crust into the included Crazy Sauce continued to elevate the flavor. The acid from the tomato sauce helped to further tame the richness. The outside of the crust was dusted with parmesan and had a mild buttery flavor, which immediately reminded me of Crazy Bread. It was cooked to a perfect golden brown and had the slightest crunch, while remaining airy on the inside. As a whole, it was similar to many calzones that I’ve had.

Little Caesars Crazy Calzony Bite

As far as novelty pizza dishes go, the Crazy Calzony is a winner in my book. Little Caesars nailed the calzone aspect, but it makes me wish they would offer standalone calzones. If you already like Little Caesars, it’s a safe bet that you’ll enjoy it as well. If you’re not a Little Caesars devotee, then no amount of craziness in the crust will change that for you.

Purchased Price: $8.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pizza) 2650 calories, 123 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of trans fat, 50 grams of saturated fat, 245 milligrams of cholesterol, 6010 milligrams of sodium, 256 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 109 grams of protein.

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