Pepperidge Farm’s Cinnamon Chocolate Milano Cookies are a season-appropriate variety of the famous cookie. They feature a layer of semi-sweet chocolate and another layer of cinnamon-flavored white confection between two crispy wafers. It’s something I’m surprised the brand hasn’t done before. Because Milano cookies have been around for decades and the sweet spice has been around for millenniums.

The aroma that comes out of the packaging makes me want to shove the entire contents into my mouth and then hoard whatever stock there is at my local Target. But, that’s no longer the case after eating them, which is what you’re supposed to do with cookies and not sniff them like the hair of the person in front of you on a crowded bus.

The amount of cinnamon and its flavor can get a bit unusual. There’s initially a nice balance between the chocolate and cinnamon, but then the spiciness starts to build. At that moment, my mind thinks that it’s going to start falling into Red Hots candy or Big Red gum territory. The build-up doesn’t go over to that burning, cheap cinnamon side. But because it’s so close, the taste that lingers in my mouth after eating one is similar to the flavor that stays after spitting out a chewed piece of Big Red.

The cookies have actual cinnamon, but, to be honest, the aftertaste kind of ruins the crispy snack for me. If this were an Oreo, that cheap cinnamon would be appropriate. But, the Milano is marketed as sophisticated and the Big Red-like aftertaste doesn’t make me think that.

If Pepperidge Farm wants to sell a Mexican Hot Chocolate Milano, it could just repackage this, and most people won’t know. Heck, in the same amount of time it takes for the cheap cinnamon flavor to fade completely, I did the graphic design work for a Mexican Hot Chocolate Milano. You’re welcome, P.F.!

I can’t say I 100 percent enjoyed these Cinnamon Chocolate Milano Cookies. They’re okay, but my wife’s office is going to get whatever leftovers I have. I was hoping for something that would be more like a cinnamon bun and less like cinnamon gum.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 7 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

When I heard Pepperidge Farm was making a new strawberry chocolate Milano, I was sure it was for Valentine’s Day. Red velvet and strawberry are the kings of amorous flavors (recently, at least), and the timing’s right.

But the packaging gives no indication that the Milano Strawberry Chocolate Cookies are a limited edition or Valentine version. All there is is a little yellow “NEW!” banner on the front. This new cookie joins the Pepperidge Farm lineup in a rather unobtrusive manner.

The cookie portion is a typical Milano -— crunchy, simple wafers bolstered by its semisweet chocolate. Pepperidge Farm would have you call this “Strawberry Chocolate,” but the small font on the front indicates that it’s actually “Strawberry Flavored.”

What’s new is a light pink layer next to the chocolate, colored by beet juice and annatto extract. It’s a nice fruity flavor that reminds me of strawberry milk. As the “Flavored” on the package indicates, there is no actual strawberry in the ingredients, but there are no artificial flavors, only natural flavors. I don’t know enough about food science to know if that means anything.

The strawberry chocolate cookie does exactly what it sets out to do. I taste the strawberry, but it’s not overwhelming, and the flavor works. I really have no complaints.

At the same time, however, I don’t have any particular accolades. The flavor doesn’t amaze me with its goodness. I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse than other Milanos, just a little bit different. The back of the package says, “Milano: Irresistible. So why resist?” These may or may not be irresistible; that’s a personal preference. But if you replace “resistible” with “remarkable,” it’s spot on.

(Oh, you’re telling me the word is “unremarkable,” not “irremarkable”? Fine. So be it.)

Just for the heck of it, I cut up some strawberries and ate them with the cookies. Doing so neither detracted from nor added to the treats; the cookie dominated over the fruit in my mouth.

I like these cookies; however, I feel like they fill the role I play at a party: no one would miss me if I weren’t there, but at least I’m not annoying.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 7 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Yummy variation on the classic cookie. Tastes like strawberry milk. Nothing to complain about.
Cons: Nothing spectacular. Doesn’t use real strawberries. Unremarkable.

I’m starting to think I might have the wrong mailing address for Santa Claus.

You see, twenty years ago, I sent Santa a letter asking for a Super Soaker CPS 2000. All of the kids in my neighborhood were getting one, so I just had to get one too. I’d be blasting my friends in the face with ice cold water in no time!

But there was one problem…the Super Soaker CPS 2000 never came. Surely there was just a mistake at the North Pole Postal Service—they’re very busy during this time of year. So every December since, I’ve written Santa a letter asking for a brand new Super Soaker CPS 2000. You’re probably thinking, “Ben, you loser, you’re an adult! You can’t go around playing with Super Soakers, even if you do get one.” Ha! The joke’s on you. I’m a grown male who still writes letters to Santa Claus. Do you really expect me to care about what people think of me playing with a Super Soaker? Who’s the loser now?

Just to make sure Santa stops by my house this year, I’ll be leaving him these new Pepperidge Farm Toasted Marshmallow Milano Cookies. I hope Santa isn’t a s’mores lover; these cookies aren’t made to include any graham flavor whatsoever. Instead, Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies are just regular Milano cookies with an additional marshmallow-flavored layer.

Well, at least I think there’s an additional marshmallow-flavored layer. Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies have a sugary, creamy flavor to them, but it’s hard to tell whether that’s distinctly “marshmallow” or if it’s just coming from the milk chocolate layer. Either way, it’s certainly not toasted. I’m not saying Pepperidge Farm had to dip each of these cookies in liquid smoke — that would actually be pretty disgusting — but with a name like “Toasted Marshmallow,” I would hope that these Milano cookies could have some semblance of being toasted.

I searched for a toasted flavor in the cookie, too. No luck. It’s just the same standard Milano cookie, like a lighter shortbread. Its rich, floury-yet-buttery flavor is good, but it dominates the overall flavor of the cookie. Aside from a few lucky bites, the cookie tends to overpower the flavors within — and that is the real problem with Toasted Marshmallow Milano cookies. You can taste “marshmallow” and milk chocolate, but never together. In short, these cookies are pretty good, but not nearly as great as they could have been.

If the last twenty years have taught me anything, it’s how to deal with failed expectations. But as Pepperidge Farm just taught me, two can play that game.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 7 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Marshmallow and milk chocolate layers are sweet and creamy. Familiar rich, buttery cookie. Learning life lessons. The North Pole Postal Service.
Cons: Not toasted. Shortbread cookie dominates the overall flavor. Still wishing for a Super Soaker CPS 2000. Passive-aggressively leaving one cookie for Santa Claus.