4 Other Things I Consumed This Week: 10/31/2025

Spylt Caffeinated Chocolate Milk

Spylt Caffeinated Chocolate Milk

Several folks recently sent me Spotted photos of this Spylt caffeinated milk that comes in several flavors, but it’s been around for a couple of years, so I didn’t post them. It seems only now has it seen a wider rollout.

I’m pretty sure somewhere in one of the thousands of posts on this site, I wished for a caffeinated chocolate milk, and the Caffeinated Chocolate Milk Fairy made my wish come true. But not only does this have 60 milligrams of caffeine, it also has 20 grams of protein, so it’s killing two birds with one Spylt for me. With that much protein, you might think you’re going to get protein shake vibes from this, but it tastes and has a creaminess like the chocolate milk I grew up drinking. It gets its protein from ultrafiltered milk, which is the same process used to make Fairlife milk.

But that’s not all with this chocolate milk. It also has no sugar and only 0.5 grams of fat, which is hard to believe given how good it tastes. Although, as it got warm, I could taste a hint of the sucralose and ace-K at the back end of a sip. Definitely worth a try, and I’ll probably give other flavors a taste.

Kirkland Signature Caramel Brownie Sundae

Kirkland Signature Caramel Brownie Sundae

I blame gravity for this sundae looking the way it does because when it was first handed to me, I could see the caramel syrup sticking to the sides of the cup. But stupid gravity did what stupid gravity does during the 15-minute drive home from Costco, and most of the syrup pooled at the bottom of the cup.

But that’s okay, gravity, because your involvement didn’t affect how much I liked this treat. First, it’s only $2.99 for ice cream, salted caramel sauce, and brownie chunks. That’s cheap. That’s cheaper than a mini Dairy Queen Blizzard, which is half the size of this sundae.

The salted caramel sauce wasn’t overly sweet, but it wasn’t salty or buttery either. The brownie pieces were chewy and chocolatey, but I wish there were more, since I felt like half the spoonfuls I took didn’t have a brownie in them. So I guess the Blizzard wins in the mix-ins department. However, despite those issues, this is a satisfying dessert, and I see myself picking it up again when I need something sweet to follow a salty slice of Costco pepperoni pizza.

Totino’s Buffalo-Style Chicken Pizza Ramen Noodles

Totino's Buffalo-Style Chicken Pizza Ramen Noodles

This wasn’t awful, but I didn’t even finish everything. Once I had eaten most of the noodles, I dumped whatever soup was left into the sink. The thought of drinking watered-down Buffalo sauce isn’t my cup of watered-down Buffalo sauce. There’s no mistaking the Buffalo flavor, and there’s a mild spicy kick, but I didn’t notice a chicken flavor.

The thought, “What should I expect for something that’s around a dollar?” popped into my head. But then again, I find 50-cent ramen packets better tasting and more enjoyable than this. Oh, I should mention that this was sent to me by General Mills, and receiving a complimentary sample did not affect my review. (Amber reviewed this earlier this year.)

Monster Bad Apple Energy Juice

Monster Bad Apple Energy Juice in a glass

We just posted Jenna’s review of this yesterday, but I also want to sing its praises. As I’ve mentioned above, I’ve wanted a caffeinated chocolate milk for a while now, but the thought of caffeinated apple juice has never crossed my mind. This drink isn’t 100% apple juice infused with caffeine and carbonation. It’s only 6 percent juice, but it tastes like apple juice. Actually, with the carbonation, I got more of a sparkling apple cider vibe from it.

Because there isn’t much juice, you aren’t getting the vitamins you’d get from apple juice.  Instead, you get the same B vitamins you’d get from any Monster Energy Drink. I do wish it were vitamin C-fortified, but the 160 milligrams of caffeine more than make up for it. I still haven’t had a bad Monster Juice flavor, and this Bad Apple continues that streak. 

5 Other Things I Consumed This Week: 10/17/2025

Limited Edition Happy Tate’s Bake Shop Chocolatey Chip Latte

Even though I’ve known about this product for a while now, I didn’t intend to buy it because I didn’t want to spend the time writing 400-500 words about it. There are bigger fish to review. But starting these posts that review several products in one, along with its $1.99 price tag, changed my mind.

After trying it, I’m glad I started these posts with mini reviews because this is pretty gosh darn good. It’s a coffee drink made with arabica coffee, but it’s difficult to believe because it totally tastes like some fancy chocolate chip cookie-flavored chocolate milk. I don’t notice any coffee flavor, but I do notice chocolate and notes of brown butter. 

Does this make me happy? Yes.

Kirkland Signature Combo Calzone

I wasn’t planning to try this after Vin’s review, but my wife ended up getting one. Since it’s large enough for two people, she let me try some of hers. 

Its exterior reminds me of Costco’s Chicken Bake, which is my least favorite item on the food court menu because my taste buds find its filling bland. This calzone has a filling that tastes like a supreme pizza (although I wish it had more cheese), it’s cleaner to eat than a pizza slice, it’s filling, and I like its flavor. However, at $6.99, it’s one of the priciest options on the menu, which always gives me pause since I can get three pizza slices or four hot dogs for the same price. I think it’s good enough to order once in a while, but I really wish Costco would bring back its combo slice.

Protein Pop Blue Raspberry Clear Protein Drink

The name Protein Pop makes you think this is soda (or pop, if you live in specific regions). But it’s not. It’s a non-carbonated, clear protein drink. 

Protein Pop comes in four flavors: Watermelon, Peach, Pina Colada, and Blue Raspberry. I picked up the Blue Raspberry one from a decimated end cap with a whole lot of Blue Raspberry, a little Watermelon, one Pina Colada, and no Peach. A can has 22 grams of protein and, thanks to stevia, zero sugar. 

It has an aroma that brings blue raspberry candy to mind, and a taste that reminds me of raspberry or mixed berry Greek yogurt. I’m not sure if that yogurt-like tanginess is coming from the fruit flavor or the whey protein isolate that gives this drink its 22 grams of protein. However, I do absolutely know that the whey gives the beverage a texture that lets you know it has protein in it. It’s not gritty, but it’s not smooth like drinking juice or something similar.

Now, I’m not sure if it’s the flavor or texture that’s responsible for this, but I didn’t notice the stevia at all—thumbs up.

While I’m not sure I like the name Protein Pop because it’s not a soda, I do enjoy its flavor enough that I might give the other varieties a try, if that end cap gets restocked.

Progresso Pitmaster Sausage & Beer Cheese with Potatoes Soup

It just dawned on me that Progresso’s Pitmaster line has an appropriate name for what it’s competing with. It’s being pitted against Campbell’s Chunky soups. Both soups eat like a meal, with generous portions of meat and vegetables in cans that are as hearty as the soup inside them. I received this, and a few other Pitmaster varieties, from the folks at General Mills and ate it with a turkey melt sandwich that General Mills did not provide. 

Since my wife shared her Kirkland Signature Combo Calzone with me, I shared this soup with her, and she said out loud what I thought in my head when we first tasted it: “It kind of tastes like queso.” But with the sausage and potatoes floating in it, it’s more like a chunky queso. The sausages give it a tiny peppery kick, and the plentiful potatoes were pleasantly soft, but not crumbling when I chewed on them. It was a tasty soup to dip my turkey melt sandwich into.

RXBar High Protein Strawberry Peanut Butter Bars

I did not enjoy my first go around with this protein bar. I was halfway through it when I decided I was done and offered the rest to my wife. My taste buds were not getting any pleasure from eating this bar. The only pleasure I ever really got from this bar, and every other one with around 20 grams of protein, is knowing that I’ve taken a shortcut to getting double-digit amounts of protein without much effort. It’s like a lifehack.

With every one of them, I wouldn’t say their flavors are good, and I also wouldn’t say they are horrible, but my mouth has never said, “Mmmmm” when eating a high-protein bar. Sarcastically, it has. Even the Oreo one I tried weeks ago couldn’t muster a yum.

However, I did give it another try and, um, enjoyed it? No. “Enjoyed” is too strong a word. I powered through the whole bar and thought it was tolerable. The peanut butter tastes and feels like dried-out natural peanut butter that hasn’t been mixed with the oil that comes with it. There’s a natural strawberry flavor from real berries, but part of me wishes it were a fruit spread instead, or something with a bit more moisture, because this bar is dryyyyyy. I mean, that’s the case with most of these high-protein bars, but this one seemed particularly so. I don’t know if that’s the peanut butter or the pea protein. With every bite, my thirst seemed to get stronger, and when I eventually finished, I had to chug a lot of water.

Maybe it’s time to stop eating these high-protein bars and just consume meat chunks or non-carbonated clear protein drinks instead.

REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Combo Calzone

Costco’s food court is arguably the country’s best cost-effective eatery. Where else can you get a two-dollar dog right after spending $450 on items such as an Army’s supply of animal crackers and a year’s worth of pipe-clogging wet wipes?

Just me?

I never skip the Costco Cafeteria. I’ll take one of their obese slices over any national chain’s wimpy pizza. I don’t know where Chicken Bakes came from, but they’re a marvel of modern science. That dirt cheap footlong? GOATed! And how can I forget the… *sigh* we still doing this?

Double. Chocolate. Chunk. Cookie?! Five Booms and whatnot.

Everything is good.

Well, everything WAS good. It is with great sorrow that I must report the new Kirkland Calzone Combo is a DOOM!

I’m baffled. How can this be? On paper, you would think a Costco food court Calzone would just marry the best parts of the pizza and the chicken bake, right? Pure ignorance.

It certainly looks like a decent calzone. I really like the doughy, slightly crispy crust on the pizza slice, so having that as a giant pocket works. It was probably my favorite part of the experience, despite it getting worse as I got towards the center.

The filling is pure slop. A full-on work sloppage. Slopular Science. The King of Slop. A wop slop a loo bop a slop bom bom!

The “turnover” comes packed with pepperoni, sausage, cheese, onions, peppers, sauce, olives, and mushrooms, all of which clash with each other.

I’m not opposed to a supreme pizza, but all of these ingredients don’t work in this pouch; it just makes everything wet with a gross flavor I can only describe as “spiced slimy meat.” That’s all I tasted, but not even in a good pepperoni or sausage style, they blend with the veggies to make an off-putting “spice” that is neither hot nor appetizing. This is the opposite of the spice mélange. One DUNE(!) on the “Boom or Dune” scale.

I could probably get beyond the overall flavor if this thing had more cheese in it. It’s severely lacking. I’ll keep hyping the pizza, because I absolutely love that 700-calorie behemoth cheese slice. It’s excessive, it’s greasy, it’s uniquely chewy, and I love it. This mushy deflated football needed that texture badly.

What you’re looking at here is a giant Hot Pocket that you took out of the microwave fifteen seconds early. I’m shocked at how much I disliked it. What a mess. This thing left a bad taste in my mouth literally and figuratively. The corners of the crust are basically the highlight. This should’ve been a perfect amalgamation of the pizza and chicken bake, but instead it’s a bastardization.

1.66 out of 5 BOOMS, which is appropriately a “boo.”

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: n/a
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1,080 calories, 61 grams of fat, 25 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 2000 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 7 grams of total sugars, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 46 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie

Ah, the Costco food court.

There’s nothing better than spending hundreds of bucks to stock your bomb shelter, then trying to weave your tank of a cart around the guy filling a soda cup next to his parked orange flatbed that has an IMAX-sized TV hanging off it.

I just want a hot dog the size of my arm. Sir, can you scootch over a bit?

Everything’s bigger in Texas? I beg to differ; everything’s bigger in Costco. I don’t even wanna ponder what a Costco in Texas must be like, my megalophobia can’t take it!

Ok, now that I got all that hacky “Costco be big” stuff out of the way, let me tell you about the new Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie they’re baking fresh in the food court. It be big. This edible frisbee measures 7 inches across and 1 inch thick while weighing in at a whopping 5.5 ounces.

The “all butter” cookie features both bittersweet and semisweet chocolate chunks, and I reiterate – I love the Costco food court. This is a quality cookie.

I was a little confused by what “all butter” meant at first. How could it be “all butter?” If it was “all butter,” it would be a stick of butter. What about the chocolate? Is that “all butter?”

Well, after I took a bite, I got it. This sucker is buttery, probably a little too buttery. That, coupled with the massive lakes of gooey chocolate, make this a cookie you’re probably gonna want to share. It’s really good, but a few bites go a long way. I ate mine in shifts.

The first few bites had a delicious “out of the oven” softness because they’re served hot and fresh. When I let it sit for a little while, the edges crisped up while the center remained soft and lukewarm. I ate the last third the next morning for breakfast, and it was firm but still chewy. I can’t think of three better cookie experiences texturally, with the middle shift being my favorite.

If you’ve ever bought a box of chocolate chip cookies in the Costco bakery section, these are pretty much just them on steroids. It’s what I expected, and it’s what I got.

So, if you like Costco baked goods, you’re gonna like this. Try one… half of one at most. Just be aware of the challenge you’re in for. I’m a grown man (questionable), so I don’t use the word “tummy,” but the thought of eating this cookie in one sitting makes my tummy hurt. The mere thought has devolved my stomach back to a “tummy.”

I really should stress again how big this behemoth is. I called it a frisbee earlier, but it could probably be used as a discus in the Ozempics – which is a food-based Olympics I’m workshopping and you’re rolling your eyes at.

As far as the loss leaders at the glorious Costco food court go, I still think the hot dog and pizza are king, but this cookie is superior to the churro it’s replacing nationwide. Just go for it. You already bought enough food to feed an army; what’s another 750 calories?

Allow me to lay down a challenge – buy two cookies and a kiddie pool-sized vanilla ice cream, then make the world’s thickest Chipwich. You won’t do it. … Coward.

(Please do it and report back… Coward.)

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: ~5.5 oz
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories. No other nutritional info is available.

QUICK REVIEW: Costco Kirkland Signature BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich

Costco Kirkland Signature BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Lots of tender beef brisket. Hefty, filling sandwich. BBQ sauce has a pleasing peppery flavor. A surprisingly clean sandwich to eat thanks to the bun which doesn’t disintegrate and the lack of BBQ sauce. Buying toilet paper and frozen chicken at Costco. Don’t need to be a Costco member to buy it.
Cons: For 50 cents less, one can get three $1.50 Costco hot dog & drink meals. At times, the beef brisket tastes like beef jerky. Coleslaw could’ve been tangier and have more flavor. Could’ve used a bit more BBQ sauce. People blocking aisles at Costco just so they can get a sample of something.

Costco Kirkland Signature BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich How It Stays So Neat

Nutrition Facts: Not available

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