Yes, what you’re looking at above is a burger topped with white rice. It’s probably the first time you’ve seen one. It’s definitely the first time I’ve seen one. It’s not a joke. It’s not some TikTok menu hack. It’s actually supposed to be there as part of the Hawaii-exclusive Jack in the Box Loco Moco Smashed Jack.

The burger honors the loco moco, a popular dish here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It’s a layer of white rice, topped with a beef patty and a fried egg, and everything is covered with gravy. While I’ve had a loco moco from convenience stores and fancy restaurants that have cloth napkins, I’ve never had it from a fast food chain. Jack’s burger version of the dish features a 1/4 pound smashed patty made with 100% seasoned beef, a freshly cracked egg, an onion ring, white rice, and loco moco-style gravy on a brioche bun.

So, about the onion ring…while I’ve had a few loco mocos with sautéed onions, adding them is a slight deviation from the standard recipe you’d get from most places. However, the onion ring here seems necessary because its flavor enhances the gravy, giving it a stronger punch. There’s a decent amount of brown sauce, but sadly, it’s not oozing out from the burger, and if not for the onion, it would have too mild of a taste.

Another characteristic of a loco moco not seen in this Jack in the Box offering is a runny yolk. Yes, consuming undercooked eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illnesses, but the fried egg’s runny yolk in an actual loco moco adds a rich eggy flavor to the dish. In this burger, the fried egg with its fully cooked yolk adds more of a squishy sound than an egg flavor.

As for the white rice, I wish I could say that it’s exquisite pearl white medium grain rice imported from the mountains of Hokkaido, Japan, that’s been washed with lava rock filtered spring water and prepared in a rice cooker that uses an algorithm to maintain the perfect level of heat and moisture to maintain freshness. But there’s not much to say about it. However, because it’s sticky rice, it doesn’t fall out while eating the burger. Yes, eating rice in a burger is odd, but it’s necessary to get across that this is a loco moco burger. However, having two different starches muzzle the gravy and beef flavors, and it might be why I don’t really taste the egg.

Overall, while Jack in the Box’s Loco Moco Smashed Jack is a unique item and quite filling thanks to having two starches and two proteins, I don’t think it’s flavorful enough to convince me to eat it as regularly as an actual loco moco.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 770 calories. No other nutritional numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website or app.

I can’t really complain about the $1.50 price of Jack in the Box’s Biscoff Donut Holes. It’s rare to see sub-two-dollar fast food menu items nowadays. That’s loose change under a car’s floor mats. That’s a couple of dives into a wishing fountain. That’s a few minutes of coin collecting under a roller coaster. However, while I can’t grumble about the price, I can grouse about everything else regarding the sweet snack.

Available in only a three-piece order, the menu item features donut holes tossed in a Biscoff cookie crumble. Jack in the Box also offers a shake and a sweet cream iced coffee with Biscoff cookie crumbles for the holiday season.

First off, my order was served at room temperature. Nothing on the Jack in the Box website or app says it comes warm, but it would’ve been a little nice if they were. The Biscoff cookie crumble coating has a slight sugary crunch, which is pleasing, but what’s inside is less so.

Obviously, these aren’t made fresh, but they have a slightly gummy texture that screams cheap, prepackaged convenience store donuts from a bakery that claims their products are baked with love but are really baked in special metal machinery designed to pump out as many baked goods as possible and is as cold as a black heart when they sit motionless and alone overnight.

The gumminess could be forgiven a little if these had a wonderful spiced Biscoff cookie flavor, but it’s not recognizable in the donuts’ coating. There’s a mild sweetness and a bit of spice, but it doesn’t wow my taste buds or instantly bring the delicious flavor of Biscoff cookies to mind.

With the combination of disappointing flavor and texture, these Jack in the Box Biscoff Donut Holes are mediocre. Maybe I got a bad batch. Or maybe my order was sitting around for too long. Or perhaps I just got what I paid for.

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 3 pieces
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories. Other nutrition numbers aren’t available on the Jack in the Box website or app.

Jack in the Box’s Crispy Chicken Wings are back! Thank goodness. I was afraid they were discontinued because they disappeared off the menu so quickly that I didn’t even get to eat them again after enjoying them earlier this year. This time, along with the Classic, Buffalo, and Garlic Parmesan varieties, there’s a new sauce — Honey Garlic Sriracha.

I’m a little surprised that these weren’t hot honey flavored because that seems to be the hottest flavor at the moment. But it’s spicy and has honey, so I guess it’s close enough.

If you missed Jack’s Crispy Chicken Wings the first time, you missed one of the year’s surprisingly great fast food products, at least to me. Yes, Jack in the Box is a burger place, but for some magical reason, it does chicken wings surprisingly well. The exterior has a pleasant crispiness even when sauced, and the meat inside is actually juicy. However, I wish the wings were coated better in their sauces, even with this Honey Garlic Sriracha order.

There’s a bit of a Panda Express vibe going on with the sauce, although it isn’t as gloopy as anything from the popular wok chain. It’s not as hot as actual sriracha because the honey and garlic distract my taste buds from the heat. The sauce overall tastes ever so slightly watered down, which is the best way I can describe it. The sweet, garlicky, and peppery flavors are there but don’t pop. As for the heat, it starts off very mild, but it does build up a little while eating more. However, I didn’t need a Witch Please Shake or water to cool down my mouth.

Jack in the Box’s Honey Garlic Sriracha Crispy Chicken Wings are good, but I feel the others are better tasting. If I went to someone’s house to watch a football game (someone, please invite me over) and these were being offered, I would gladly eat them. But if I’m staring at the Jack in the Box menu all by myself and want chicken wings, if they’re still around, I’d probably pick any of the other varieties.

Purchased Price: $8.99*
Size: 6-piece order
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 500 calories. Other nutritional numbers aren’t available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Jack in the Box’s Monster Taco has been a monster success for the chain. Actually, I don’t know this because I’m not privy to the company’s internal numbers, but it’s been around for several years, so I assume it’s a popular item. For the Halloween season, the chain has pulled out from a sarcophagus the Mummy Wrapped Monster Taco.

It’s a Monster Taco topped with the usual American cheese, shredded lettuce, and taco sauce that’s “mummy wrapped’ in a cheese sauce and bacon-stuffed warm flour tortilla.

If you’re reading this review, you’re probably familiar with the taste of Jack in the Box’s tacos, so I’m not going to mention much about it. While I enjoy them, this version is disappointing.

Adding the flour tortilla, cheese sauce, and bacon bits adds a noticeable amount of heft to the Monster Taco, making it a bit more monstrous. However, the cheese sauce and its warmth are trapped under the flour tortilla, making the taco’s center even soggier than a regular Monster Taco. Thankfully, that’s kind of okay because the tortilla prevents any leakage from happening.

However, I don’t know if mine was made with more cheese sauce than the kitchen instructions say, but I felt there was too much of it in my order, and it made things overwhelmingly cheesy. While that sounds nice for fondue, a cheeseburger, or Wisconsin, it’s not in this case because it also makes the menu item too salty. Yes, water is wet, and fast food is salty, but this was particularly so sodium-heavy that my taste buds started to wonder if they should tap out after getting halfway through. I eventually had to convince myself to finish the last three bites.

Besides the overwhelming cheesiness and saltiness, there is also an underlying smokiness from the bacon and the usual mild kick of pepperiness and heat from taco sauce and the seasoned meat. But I wonder if those pork bits also contribute to this being too salty.

While a clever idea, Jack in the Box’s Mummy Wrapped Monster Taco is a monster disappointment. I don’t plan on ordering it again, and I think it should be placed back in its sarcophagus and buried in the tomb of fast food ideas. Or it should have less cheese sauce.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 580 calories. No other nutritional numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website.

I’m not sure how familiar the general public is with the purple yam called ube. Sure, Trader Joe’s has rolled out several ube-flavored products over the past few years, but for the most part I feel it’s still a little known flavor.

However, on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, it’s a common option with pastries and desserts. Even our local 7-Eleven locations had an ube-flavored Slurpee. I guess you could say it’s ubequitous here. I apologize.

If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s sweet and a bit coconut-like. And it has found its way into Jack in the Box’s latest dessert, the Witch Please Shake. It’s an Oreo shake mixed with ube flavors and topped with more Oreo pieces and whipped topping. The ube gives it a pleasant lavender color, but it’s not dark enough to bring witches to my mind. It replaces the Basic Witch Shake that showed up on Jack’s menu board the past two fall seasons. That was a pumpkin spice shake with Oreo pieces.

The sweet coconutty taste is boldly there with every sip, but it’s the only flavor I taste. While I can see and feel the Oreo pieces floating in the ice cream, they only offer texture as I don’t taste their slightly bitter chocolate, even when I come across a decent-sized cookie chunk. This lack of cookie was also the case with the Basic Witch Shake. Although a little chocolate would’ve been nice, not noticing the cookie pieces is not a completely bad thing because it allows the ube to stand out, and that flavor is so delightful.

Jack in the Box’s Witch Please Shake is a delicious follow-up to the Basic Witch Shake. For those who have never tried ube, it’ll be a tasty introduction to the purple yam. For those who are familiar, I recommend sipping on this seasonal shake while you can because it’s witch-ed good. Ubetcha.

Purchased Price: $6.29*
Size: Regular
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 770 calories. Other nutrition number aren’t available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.