REVIEW: Popeyes x Hot Ones Smokin’ Rojo Chicken Sandwich

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I haven’t been into all these Hot Ones food products because, well, I’m scared.

I watch these Hot Ones clips on YouTube, and I see celebrities sweating and crying, and I wonder, do I want to subject myself to that because I don’t have a movie or TV show to promote? But a wise person once said, “Pain is a fleeting feeling. Oh, hey, that rhymes.”

So here I am with the Popeyes x Hot Ones Smokin’ Rojo Chicken Sandwich, featuring a crispy chicken fillet with a Los Calientes Rojo spread and pickles on a toasted brioche bun. Of the three menu items advertised, the sandwich falls within the middle range of spiciness. However, spiciness can be perceived differently by each person, so what Popeyes and Hot Ones consider spicy might be popping eyes out caliente to me. Fortunately, it was not that intense.

Before I get into how hot this sandwich was, I must say that the Los Calientes Rojo spread was indeed tasty. It’s smoky, tangy, and peppery with a hint of sweetness. That flavor pairs well with the Cajun spices in the chicken and tangy pickles. But while taking my first bite, all that flavor kind of took a back seat to the sauce’s spiciness. Actually, the bun, chicken, and pickles help soften the blow from the spicy sauce because when I tried the orange sauce on its own, it was noticeably spicier.

After taking a couple more bites, the heat was not relenting. It was also at this time that I could feel my head’s bodily fluids wanting to excrete from where they excrete from. My nose started running, and my scalp began sweating. While I was enjoying the sandwich’s flavor, it was at this point that I really felt the need for something to help combat the heat.

BONUS REVIEW!

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Monster Cookie Shake

A wise person once said, “With milk from mammals that go moo, spiciness can be soothed. Oh, hey, that rhymes.”

The limited time only shake features Chips Ahoy-flavored syrup and Oreo cookie crumbs blended with ice cream, finished with whipped topping and more Oreo cookie crumbs. My order didn’t appear to have Oreo cookies blended into it, but I didn’t really care at the moment because I needed to give my mouth some cooling relief. However, to make up for that, I pushed down whatever crumbs sprinkled on the whipped topping.

The Chips Ahoy-flavored syrup doesn’t remind me of the Nabisco-branded chocolate chip cookie, but it has an artificial brown sugar cookie dough taste that’s not bad. Whatever Oreo bits my straw sucked up, they added chocolatey hits to my tongue. It’s a fine-tasting shake, that’s a nice change of pace from a Jack’s Oreo shake, but it doesn’t shake up the shake world.

One last thing. I hate to nitpick about the shake that helped me weather the spicy storm known as the Popeyes x Hot Ones Smokin’ Rojo Chicken Sandwich, but if it’s a “Monster Cookie” shake, shouldn’t it have M&M’s? That is one of the definitive ingredients in a Monster Cookie recipe. Maybe the chocolate Oreo crumbs are the stand-in for the chocolate candy?

Thanks, Jack in the Box Monster Cookie Shake, for putting out the fire in my mouth.

Purchased Price: $7.99 (Sandwich), $6.29 (Shake)
Size: Regular (Shake)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Sandwich), 6 out of 10 (Shake)
Nutrition Facts: (Sandwich) 620 calories, 33 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat (that can’t be right, but that’s what the website says), 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1450 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein. (Shake) 800 calories. No other nutrition information is available on the Jack in the Box website.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Pumpkin Spice Mini Churros

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Pumpkin spice season is upon us! Seeing pumpkin spice-flavored products in July/August is the notification reminder of all the things we might have to do when autumn actually arrives.

  • Finding space for a turkey in a freezer or fridge.
  • Bobbing for apples.
  • Rolling eyes at how many pumpkin spice-flavored products there are.
  • Harvesting the fields.
  • Explaining to children what cornucopias are.
  • Raking the orange leaves.
  • Eating pumpkin pies without hands.
  • Finding out the date when Starbucks’ PSLs return.
  • Scoring Reese’s candies at 30-50 percent off the day after Halloween.

Jack in the Box is reminding us that it’s pumpkin spice season with its new Pumpkin Spice Mini Churros, which are five bite-sized churros filled with sugary pumpkin spice filling and dusted with cinnamon sugar.

I wasn’t impressed with Jack in the Box’s Mini Churros when it debuted many years ago. It’s been on and off the menu, but I never gave them another try to find out if they’ve improved. But these seasonal ones are much more enjoyable than what I remember I had back in 2008.

If you’re hoping these have the same pumpkin spice punch as Jack in the Box’s Pumpkin Spice Shake or Basic Witch Shake, which are mysteriously not on Jack in the Box’s menu as I type this, you’ll be disappointed. Speaking of that excellent shake, it would’ve been awesome to have had the opportunity to dip these churros into that shake.

Missed opportunity, Jack.

The churros’ pumpkin spice filling has a mild flavor, but it has enough to let you know that there’s something different about these churros and that orange leaf season will soon be upon us. I’m a little disappointed that the sugary coating on the wonderfully crispy fried exterior didn’t also have a pumpkin spice flavor or a bold orange color. However, the cinnamon does enhance the same taste in the filling.

Jack in the Box’s Pumpkin Spice Mini Churros are pretty tasty and worth a try this pumpkin spice season. They’re not Disneyland churro-great, but I’d eat them again while explaining to my son what a cornucopia is or playing fridge Tetris to clear space for a heavy Butterball.

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 5 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 330 calories. No other nutrition numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Pink Pineapple Express Shake

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Jack in the Box’s Pineapple Express Shake was one of my favorite products of 2022, and it’s come back annually since then. This year, instead of just bringing it back for the umpteenth time, the fast food chain decided also to offer a slight variation with some alliteration in its name. The Pink Pineapple Express Shake combines a thick and creamy vanilla shake base with pink pineapple flavoring that’s finished with whipped topping and a cherry.

Pomologists might be intrigued by the idea of a pink pineapple-flavored shake, but this doesn’t taste like THAT pink pineapple. What I’m talking about is the pink pineapple developed by Del Monte that uses lycopene and beta carotene to give it its Barbie-like hue. But it’s just a sweeter, less sour pineapple. However, the Pink Pineapple Express Shake does not taste like a sweeter, less tart version of the original Pineapple Express Shake.

I’ll give you one guess as to what flavor the pink represents. Go ahead, take a guess.

Don’t just peek ahead!

If you said “strawberry” without peeking, congratulations, my honest friend!

The dessert has an intense strawberry flavor that pretty much makes me forget that there’s also supposed to be pineapple. While sipping it through a straw, all I could think of was how it was giving me kids strawberry yogurt vibes. Am I sucking up a strawberry-flavored shake or strawberry Go-Gurt?

Sadly, that delightful citrusy flavor from the original Pineapple Express Shake is absent. Well, it hasn’t completely disappeared; if I focus more than anyone should on the creamy shake rolling over my tongue and savor it like a fine wine or a Diet Coke from McDonald’s, I can detect a hint of pineapple. But when I consume this, like a normal person, with reckless sucking abandon, all I detect is a tart strawberry flavor.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Jack in the Box’s Pink Pineapple Express Shake tasting like a So Strawberry Express Shake. It’s a tasty, sweet treat that is a pleasant departure from Jack’s usual shake lineup. However, I don’t find it as delightful as the Pineapple Express Shake.

Purchased Price: $6.29*
Size: Regular
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 660 calories. No other nutritional information is available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries

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Oh, no!

Does the introduction of Jack in the Box’s new Loaded Waffle Fries mean my beloved potato wedges will soon be gone?

If so, how can I appease the Big Ball-Headed Fast Food God? Must I give it my firstborn? Do I have to sacrifice a fresh Big Mac and/or Whopper by throwing it into a volcano? Please keep potato wedges on the menu, oh, mighty and strong (and handsome) Jack!

For those who aren’t keeping count, Jack in the Box, at the moment, offers FOUR types of fried potato sides — waffle fries, regular fries, curly fries, and the fabulous potato wedges. (Also, tater tots were once on the menu for a limited time.) However, waffle fries are only available sauced and loaded, while all the others can be ordered unsauced and unloaded.

This might just be Jack testing to see if there’s possible interest in making waffle fries a permanent item. Or it might be a plot to get rid of potato wedges for good? (Don’t do it, Mr. Box!)

Jack in the Box’s Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries feature waffle fries topped with cheddar cheese, nacho cheese sauce, crumbled bacon, and buttermilk ranch. If you’ve had previous Sauced & Loaded products, this waffle fries version will taste very familiar since it has pretty much the same toppings as the loaded tater tots and potato wedges Jack has offered.

Despite being doused and plopped with toppings and enduring a four-minute drive, the waffle fries, surprisingly, still had a crispy exterior when I bit into the sauciest and load-est(?) fry. However, that fry was also quite salty because of all the toppings. So, I spread out the heap of meat, cheese, and sauces so things wouldn’t be so condensed. When I did that, there was a balance between the bacon, cheeses, and ranch, with the potato flavor still noticeable. The waffle fries almost taste like the potato wedges, but the spudsiness is milder.

If I had to rank Jack in the Box’s newest potato product, but naked, I’d put it ahead of regular fries because they taste a little better and are crispier, but behind curly fries and potato wedges. As for these Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries, while everything tastes familiar, they’re still satisfying.

But it’s not as satisfying as potato wedges. Please don’t take them away from me again, Jack!

Purchased Price: $4.79*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 540 calories. No other nutritional information is available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Smoke Show Crispy Boneless Wings

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Jack in the Box’s newest Crispy Boneless Wings variety comes tossed in Jack’s Smoke Show Sauce, which pleases my tongue in two ways — its flavor and its alliteration. I surely savor saying Smoke Show sauce.

However, the Crispy Boneless Wings themselves are a little disappointing. While I loved the chain’s bone-in chicken wings because of their crispy exterior and surprisingly juicy interior, these look less satisfying, mainly because of their size. When I look at the photo above, I can’t help but think they look more like premium chicken nuggets than boneless wings, which I think should be more substantial. They look less like wings and more like eggs. Even though I did get a seventh piece (6-, 12-, and 18-piece orders are available), it wasn’t enough to overcome my size disappointment.

The 100% all-white meat pieces are tender and slightly still juicy, and their breading is crunchy and thick. Although some exterior sections without the sauce felt particularly dry-ish and a little crumbly.

But back to the Smoke Show sauce, which Jack describes as “a smoky sweet BBQ serenade for your tastebuds that you won’t soon forget.” Well, it’s been 30 minutes since I finished eating these “wings,” and I haven’t forgotten about the sauce because it’s very tasty. The best way I can describe it is to call it a smoky honey mustard BBQ sauce because there’s a notable mustard-y tang with a bit of sweetness. If I remember correctly, one of the Carolinas is known for a mustard-based barbecue sauce. I’m going to say, um, “South Carolina” because it starts with the letter S.

While I love the sauce, I wish my premium chicken nuggets were tossed with more because roughly a little more than 50 percent of the chicken didn’t get to experience the Smoke Show. I desperately tried to scrape as much of the brown sauce as I could from the sides of the container they came in, but that was futile. My order was supposed to come with a side of ranch, but I didn’t receive it. But if you do get the white tangy sauce, use it for a salad, pizza, or whatever the kids on social media are dipping into it nowadays because I surmise its taste would ruin the Smoke Show experience, which is a show I think is worth the price of admission.

Purchased Price: $7.99*
Size: 6 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 480 calories. No other nutritional information is available on Jack in the Box’s website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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