REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Punch Line Ice Cream

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Ben Jerry s Limited Batch Punch Line Ice Cream Pint

Cherry Seinfeld.

That’s what I want to call Ben & Jerry’s and Netflix’s Limited Batch Punch Line Ice Cream as sort of a callback to Cherry Garcia. Because, according to the pint’s packaging, the flavor has a “chuckle of cherries.” It also has brown butter bourbon and almond ice creams with roasted almonds.

But naming it after Jerry Seinfeld wouldn’t be fair to the zillions of comedians who also have stand-up specials or shows on Netflix. The same can be said if this variety was named Bill Burrbon or Dave Cherryppelle.

Like almost every Ben & Jerry’s flavor and Netflix comedy special, this limited batch offering brings a smile to my face. Although, I have to admit it’s not a huge smile.

Let’s start with the ice cream bases. When I eat the almond-flavored one on its own, I can’t help but think of pistachio. I experienced the same thing with a Magnum flavor that also had almond-flavored ice cream. Not even the almond bits, which were plentiful, do anything to make me think otherwise, but their mild snap does contrast the softer parts in the pint.

The brown butter bourbon base isn’t as alcohol-y as I remember Ben & Jerry’s other bourbon-flavored variety. The ice cream also has a slight butteriness, but overall, the flavor is a bit muted when tasted on its own, which makes it hard to notice among the other ingredients.

Ben Jerry s Limited Batch Punch Line Ice Cream Closeup

The pint’s headliners are the sweet and slightly tart cherries that complement the almond ice cream exceptionally well. I’d be happy if Ben & Jerry’s sold a flavor with that combo and perhaps called it Cherry Galmondcia (yes, I’m available for freelance work, Ben & Jerry’s marketing department). Although the cherries are the headliners, the amount in my pint was lacking. But when my spoon did find one, they tend to almost overwhelm everything else, so much so that, at times, it kind of tastes as if I’m eating a spoonful of Cherry Garcia without fudge flakes.

Look, I dig the combo that the kids from Vermont have put together with this pint, and I’ll dig my way through the entire thing. But it’s not a flavor that makes me want to binge eat the whole container in one night.

While Ben & Jerry’s Punch Line seems like a random combination of components, I think there’s a deeper meaning that ties in with stand-up. The almond-flavored ice cream and roasted almonds represent the nuttiness of comedy, the cherries are the redness in one’s face when laughing too hard, and the brown butter bourbon base is, um, the alcohol served at comedy clubs? I got nothing with the last one.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Thanks, Ben & Jerry’s! Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Received from Ben & Jerry’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 310 calories, 19 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber 25 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Talenti Gelato Layers Pumpkin Pie

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Talenti Pumpkin Pie Gelato Layers Tub

What is Talenti Gelato Layers Pumpkin Pie

A seasonal offering from the undisputed gelato king of Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey, Talenti’s layered pumpkin pie offering goes: pumpkin gelato, pie pieces, brown sugar sauce, pumpkin gelato again, and more pie pieces.

How is it?

Talenti Pumpkin Pie Gelato Layers Top

The first time I tried it, I wanted to call it “bland” or maybe “inoffensive.” You know, the Neil Diamond of frozen dairy-based confections. I didn’t like how I couldn’t easily get all three layers in one spoonful, or how the “brown sugar sauce” didn’t seem to have the cinnamon undercarriage brown sugar generally requires in a dessert setting. (Cinnamon is listed as an ingredient, for what it’s worth.) And while the pie pieces are, I don’t know, dough-like(?), overall, the texture is one-note and is missing a good crunch.

Talenti Pumpkin Pie Gelato Layers Closeup

But then I had some the next day, and although nothing in the gelato had technically changed — the brown sugar sauce and the pie pieces were still limply uninspired — I found myself thinking everything was SO GOOD! SO GOOD! (That’s a Neil Diamond reference for those of you who aren’t a 65-year-old aunt.) Instead of being upset with the gelato’s gentle nature, I found myself appreciating the subtlety of the pumpkin flavor. As an unabashed pumpkophile, I generally want my pumpkin to be aggressive and unapologetic; if you are not a fan this approach, however, you might enjoy this gelato.

Anything else you need to know?

Will Ferrell doing Neil Diamond doing an episode of VH1’s Storytellers on SNL in 1998 is seriously one of the greatest Ferrell moments in his tenure on the show. Drop whatever you’re doing, open another tab (don’t leave TIB, obviously), Google it and then watch the video. Tell me it’s not amazing, I dare you.

Conclusion:

If you want an in-your-face, violent pumpkin gelato, this probably isn’t it. But if you’re in the market for a smooth, reasonable dose of gourdy goodness, this is a good bet. (Mostly because I don’t think there is a ton of pumpkin gelato out there to choose from.)

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 13 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence Ice Cream

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Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence Ice Cream

What is Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence?

It’s the newest and fanciest of all the Blue Bell ice cream flavors. It features chocolate French ice cream with fudge brownie chunks and whipped topping with chocolate flakes. What makes ice cream French, you might ask? It’s made with eggs, which makes it thick and custardy. Side note: custardy is fun to say, but if you keep saying it all day, people around you are likely to get annoyed.

How is it?

If you put decadence in the name, it better be something special. And this is. Before digging in, I thought maybe there would be too much chocolate going on. Instead, it was a perfect symphony of different chocolate flavors, all teaming up to make my mouth happy.

Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence Ice Cream Spoon

The brownies truly are decadent. They are chewy — almost even a little gooey somehow — and taste more like homemade brownies instead of the non-descript chunks in many ice creams. These brownies have a rich flavor, and there are plenty of them.

Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence Ice Cream Top

The ice cream is smooth and creamy, as it should be, with the perfect level of chocolatiness. It did remind me a little of custard, but I’m not sure if that was the power of suggestion from reading the label. Regardless, the ice cream did its part to keep the decadence rolling. The chocolate flakes are a bit overshadowed by the brilliant brownies, but they add some nice texture and taste to the mix.

Blue Bell Fudge Brownie Decadence Ice Cream Top First

The only letdown is the whipped topping. First, there is a lot of it — much more than just some swirls or ribbons like I was expecting. If it tasted great, that might be fine, but it really doesn’t. It’s like Cool Whip-flavored ice cream. In limited amounts, like as a topping, that could be a nice contrast to the chocolate, but it just seems like too much of it here. Even so, this flavor achieves its stated goal of being decadent. But despite my quibble about the whipped topping, it’s a big winner.

Anything else you need to know?

If you do not reside in the southern third of the country, you may not be familiar with Texas-based Blue Bell Creameries. You also might think it is the same company that makes Blue Bunny ice cream. It’s not; Blue Bunny is headquartered in Iowa.

This is where I must deliver a stern warning, just in case you ever happen to discuss this topic with someone from Texas. Unless you are fixin’ to start a kerfuffle, or perhaps even a brouhaha, DO NOT ask a Texan if Blue Bell and Blue Bunny are the same thing. And, even more importantly, DO NOT say that Blue Bunny is better than Blue Bell unless, of course, you are looking for an all-out donnybrook.

I’m not originally from Texas, but I have lived in the state long enough to know that many Texans will defend the honor of Blue Bell until well…wait for it…they are blue in the face. You have been warned.

If you don’t live in Blue Bell country and really want to try it, you can order four half-gallons directly from the creamery for overnight delivery, but I have another warning. It’s not cheap, and depending on where you live, it might almost be cheaper to fly to Texas and try it in person. Just for fun, guess how much it is to get four half-gallons (costing about $20 at the grocery store) overnighted to your door.

Ready?

It’s $135!

Conclusion:

Since I’m not a native Texan, I do not have an innate love of Blue Bell and feel like I can be an impartial judge here. My verdict is that this is one of my new favorite ice creams, and I’ll shed a little tear if it doesn’t become a permanent member of the Blue Bell lineup.

Is it worth $135 if you can’t get it in your area? No, of course not. But I’ve got a lot of family “up North,” as Texans refer to most other states, and I’d be happy to bring you some for the bargain price of $125 next time I’m visiting.

Purchased Price: $5.85
Size: Half-gallon
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 240 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream

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Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream Pints

Update: These are now Target’s Favorite Day Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream.

What are Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream and Apple Crisp Ice Cream?

One has pumpkin cheesecake-flavored ice cream (made with pumpkin puree) with a graham cracker swirl. The other features artificially flavored apple crisp ice cream swirled with caramel and oatmeal pieces. Both are seasonal varieties at Target.

How are they?

Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream Top

Well, let’s start with the Pumpkin Cheesecake one. If you force-fed this pint to me and said it’s pumpkin cheesecake-flavored, I’d grab the pint from your hand, get a clean spoon (because I don’t want any indirect kissing), force-feed you a spoonful, and then ask you in the most dramatic tone I could muster, “Is it pumpkin cheesecake-flavored?”

I initially notice cheesecake tang, but that quickly goes away with the first spoonful. With subsequent spoonfuls, all I taste are pumpkin, spices, and gritty graham crackers, which, according to Thanksgiving math, equals a pumpkin pie. As a pumpkin pie ice cream, it’s delightful and accurately hits all the pie’s flavors. But without having that tang throughout, it doesn’t convince my mouth that anything cheesecake is involved.

Market Pantry Apple Crisp Ice Cream Top

The apple crisp ice cream base has a mild taste similar to Fuji apple-flavored products I’ve had. But when eaten with the caramel, the apple is heightened. The oatmeal pieces, when my mouth finds a whole one, have a taste and texture that reminds me of Quaker Oatmeal Squares Cereal. Their crunch and subdued sweetness are a contrast to the other two components.

While the Apple Crisp one is also tasty, a few spoonfuls had an off flavor. It’s not anything that made me spit it out, but it’s a striking difference to the other spoonfuls.

Anything else you need to know?

This is my first time experiencing Market Pantry Ice Cream. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long. It’s not as if the price is holding me back since pints cost half of any name brand. I’m also not a brand name snob because I’m typing this on a $7.99 BingoTechStyle Bluetooth Keyboard I bought on Amazon that’s no longer being sold.

Both are super easy to scoop. I’m talking frozen dairy dessert easy. Maybe air should be added to the ingredients list?

Conclusion:

If you’re looking for high quality, dense ice cream this fall season, look elsewhere. If you want to enjoy inexpensive holiday frozen treats, Market Pantry’s Apple Crisp Ice Cream or Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream might satisfy your seasonal sweet tooth.

Purchased Price: $2.35 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Pumpkin Cheesecake), 7 out of 10 (Apple Crisp)
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) Pumpkin Cheesecake – 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Apple Crisp – 190 calories, 9 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Top

What is the Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard

It’s one of the stars of the Dairy Queen Fall Blizzard Menu. It contains apple topping, pie pieces (or more accurately, pie crust pieces as I’ll explain below) and caramel coated truffles with vanilla soft serve and the obligatory garnish for all pies, whipped topping.

How is it?

Let me ramble a bit before I answer that question. I had high expectations for this Blizzard because I love me some apple pie. I’m not talking about grandma’s secret recipe pie with the steam rising from the top as it emerges from the oven. Yes, I’m sure your Gammy’s pie is delicious, but for some reason I’ve always been partial to the industrial strength versions.

The main reason I went to middle school every day (OK, most days, unless I could successfully fake a stomachache) was to get one of those tasty, sugar-loaded Hostess apple pies at lunch. And even now, I still tear up a little thinking about the long-extinct fried apple pie at McDonald’s, despite the real risk of permanent mouth injury caused by its hot-as-lava filling. This Blizzard reminds me of that Hostess/McDonald’s pie taste, without the latter’s third-degree burns. And the addition of the truffles make this something special.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 1

There’s so much going on with this Blizzard, but everything blends together beautifully. This certainly isn’t the best-looking Blizzard ever, and even when you take away the whipped topping, it’s ordinary looking. But as I learned in middle school when I wasn’t eating Hostess pies, don’t judge a book, or a Blizzard, by its cover.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Pieces

Because I am dedicated to my craft, I took the time to extract the three different pieces for you to examine (crust, apple, truffle from left to right). If it disgusts you to know that I had to suck and lick the soft serve off each piece, then just don’t read this sentence. I even dissected the truffle so you can see its guts spill out.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Truffle

The crust pieces maintain their crispness even while encased in soft serve, the apple chunks deliver a subtle but satisfying fruit flavor, and the caramel coated truffles are very indulgent with their ooey-gooey center. It seems like most new Blizzards either feature chocolate or some sort of berry as the main component, so this one also stands out for being unique.

Anything else you need to know?

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 2

One of the other Blizzards on the fall menu, the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard, has “real” pumpkin pie pieces. But this one is worded a bit differently on the DQ website, which proclaims that it contains “apple topping” and “pie pieces.”

After perusing the list of ingredients and skipping over many, many words that I can neither pronounce nor define, I confirmed that the pie pieces here are indeed just pie crust pieces. That, of course, raises the question of whether a pie crust on its own is a pie, but I’ll let those more scholarly than I debate such topics. So to answer the question at hand — no, you didn’t need to know any of that.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 3

The only thing that kept me from giving this Blizzard a perfect score is that the apple pieces are a bit small and rubbery, like they were harvested from a fruit cake. And if you take a bite that doesn’t contain a chunk of apple, there’s really no fruit flavor in the soft serve, so it might have been nice to get some kind of apple flavoring or sauce in there. But those are just minor grouses; overall, this is an exceptional Blizzard, and I’m happy it will be around all fall.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 930 calories, 37 grams of fat, 26 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 133 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 103 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

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