REVIEW: Dairy Queen Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard

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Sometimes I really dislike being an adult. I’m not talking about paying taxes, having a job, or things like that. I just don’t like how it changes what is appropriate when it comes to food. If I were a toddler, it would be no big deal if I took off my shirt and ate mac and cheese with my hands, and people would say how cute I was when I got sauce in my hair. If I try that as an adult at Applebee’s, I’ll probably be asked to leave. If I were in kindergarten, a fluffernutter sandwich would be a perfectly acceptable lunch. But if I suggest we have peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches at a work meeting, then some co-workers might suggest I’m a bit immature (but I know others would secretly think it’s an awesome idea). Thankfully, Dairy Queen has the new Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard that both mature and immature adults can purchase without being judged.

If you are not familiar with the “Royal” line of Blizzards, they have the bonus of a hidden core, which, in this case, is filled with marshmallow topping. I thought about bringing a small handsaw so I could conduct a Blizzard autopsy and show you exactly how it looks inside, but I figured that would be frowned upon and maybe a little dangerous. Besides, the DQ website features a cross-section view if you are interested. Surrounding the marshmallow core of this Blizzard are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, peanut butter topping, and, of course, vanilla soft serve. The core might be hard to see in the photos, and as the Blizzard around it melts, it all blends together, but trust me that it’s there.

I’m not sure if this is the case everywhere, but at my local DQ, the Royal Blizzards will set you back an extra $1. After having this one, I can tell you that’s a buck well spent. The standard PB Cup Blizzard is already one of my favorites, but it becomes truly glorious with the marshmallow flavor running down the center. The marshmallow topping by itself is quite sweet — almost too sweet — but it is balanced out perfectly by the decidedly less sweet peanut butter flavor. The smooth, creamy texture of the marshmallow topping also pairs wonderfully with the chunkiness and thickness of the pulverized peanut butter cups in the soft serve. I tried to think how I would improve this Blizzard, and I’ve got nothing to suggest. I think it’s my new all-time favorite.

My only disappointment is that I ordered a small, which really limits the real estate available for the marshmallow core. So my suggestion is to live like a king or a queen and at least order the medium for this one. Nah, just get a large.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: Small
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 31 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 104 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 87 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Debbie Turtle Brownies, Apple Fruit Pies, and Chocolate Chip Creme Pies Ice Creams

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Conceptually, the idea of Little Debbie Ice Cream is pretty wonderful. You take everyone’s favorite low-rent snack cake, deconstruct it into nuggets or swirls, and commingle it with a complimentary ice cream flavor from Hudsonville Ice Cream. Unfortunately, the execution just isn’t always there. The “icing” from the Zebra Cake variety, for example— which I think is the same stuff from the belly of the Strawberry Shortcake Roll— assumes a strange and unpleasant consistency when married with the ice cream; the rainbow sprinkles from the Cosmic Brownies become insufferably hard, a veritable cracked molar waiting to happen.

The fact of the matter is, as much as I want to love these things — especially at a $2.74 Walmart price-point — the only one I’ve ever felt compelled to buy more than once is Star Crunch. For whatever reason, I find that one to be heavenly, so good, in fact, that I have to force myself to refrain from consuming an entire pint in one sitting.

Will any of the three new flavors buck the trend of general disappointment?

Turtle Brownies

Hudsonville Ice Cream’s website describes it as follows: “Brownie batter flavored ice cream with brownie dough and crushed peanuts throughout, finished with a caramel swirl.” Look, I’m not gonna lie: I’m not entirely sure how this ice cream was “brownie batter flavored” as opposed to just, you know, chocolate. There was a very small amount of tasty brownie dough (it tastes like they use actual Little Debbie brownie, in fact) interspersed throughout, and… maybe a few peanuts? I couldn’t find many at all. Ditto for the “caramel swirl.” This could have used more of both. And because it needed a little more everything, this one came up a bit short.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 20 grams of sugar (17 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Apple Fruit Pies

Here’s the thing — I don’t even know if I’ve ever had a Little Debbie apple fruit pie. (Or any of her fruit pies, for that matter.) I was always a wax-papered Hostess hand-pie guy. So I didn’t really know what to expect here. Hudsonville says this one is “Cinnamon vanilla ice cream with an apple pie filling swirl and pie crumbs throughout.”

My first few bites garnered nothing but ice cream, which, let me say this — the ice cream in these has always impressed me, particularly at this price. It’s creamy and thick and is pretty damn good, frankly. This was no different. But it took a bit for me to find any apple pie filling swirl or the pie crumbs. But when I did, I was pleased. The apple swirl was requisitely apple pie filling-like, both in taste and texture, and the pie crumbs were thick, with a bit of a crunch and a subtle graham flavor. The only thing keeping this from being elevated into the stratosphere of “I’m clearing space in the freezer for six more of these” was the sorrowful lack of mix-in. Even still, it was a winner.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 220 calories, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar (17 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Chocolate Chip Creme Pie

Like the Apple Fruit Pie, I’ve never had a Chocolate Chip Creme Pie from The Debster. The fact of the matter is, if I’m gonna consume a circular El Deb pie with a “creme” component, it’s going to be of the Oatmeal Creme variety, OR its chocolate sister, the Fudge Round. I may need to branch out after having this revelatory ice cream, however. Described as “Vanilla creme flavored ice cream filled with chocolate chip cookie pieces,” it was my favorite of the three. The “chocolate chip cookie pieces” were plentiful. There were a LOT of chocolate chips throughout, a few hundred, at least. Really, this just ended up tasting like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with a bonus creme component, which was very enjoyable.

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 240 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (20 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry

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After years of having an occasional new McFlurry offering, there’s been a flurry of limited time McFlurry varieties over the past few years. There have been at least two annually since 2019. McDonald’s new Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is the second new blended treat this year from the Golden Arches. It follows the Strawberry Shortcake one that came out in the spring. So there’s a good chance we’ll have to wait until 2024 for a new variety.

The Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is described on the McDonald’s site as a crispy cereal mix and chocolatey peanut butter cookie pieces in vanilla soft serve. While that sounds delicious, if you look through the mix-ins’ ingredients list, there are “peanut butter creme cookies,” “fudge coated peanut brittle,” “chocolate peanut butter yummy chow” (no, fo’ reals), and “peanut butter cereal squares” listed, which makes it even more enticing.

And it’s not just appealing on paper. Looking at it from above, the dessert looks inviting, with a generous helping of cereal, cookies, and yummy chow floating on the white soft serve. If the image above doesn’t make you want to instantly dive in with a spoon, I don’t know if we can have a relationship. However, I will be the Snack Grinch here and say, as good as this looks in my photos and as intriguing as the ingredients list reads, this McFlurry is okay.

The cereal and cookie pieces were crunchy, but unfortunately, it’s not very chocolatey or peanut butter-y, even with a decent amount of mix-ins on my spoon. That’s fine if you want a treat that’s not too cloying, but I want a little indulgence here. I want something as enjoyable as a McDonald’s Hot Fudge Sundae, and I’m not quite getting that with this. Though, there were a couple of moments when the cereal, cookies, yummy chow, or a combination of the three sort of tasted like a waffle cone. Also, one last thing about the mix-ins. Like a good cereal, they maintained their crunch in the quickly melting soft serve after I took pictures.

McDonald’s Peanut Butter Crunch McFlurry is a nice change of pace if your usual After Mac treat is an Oreo or M&M’s McFlurry. It’s not going to knock your socks off. But if you’re wearing crew socks, it might make them slide down your calves slightly.

Purchased Price: $4.59
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 510 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 gram of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 47 grams of sugar (including 47 grams of added sugar), and 12 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Jeni’s Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts Ice Cream

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The pint of Jeni’s new Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts Ice Cream says there’s only one way to enjoy the toaster pastry: “It has to be brown sugar cinnamon, frosted—served buttered, warm, soft, and gooey right out of the toaster.” Those are fighting words as people eat Pop-Tarts microwaved, frozen, or straight out of the foil wrapper – which is my preferred method.

This new limited time collaboration flavor is a tribute to what is the “…best thing to spring out of a toaster.” It’s remarkable and should be a permanent flavor.

Jeni’s didn’t just break up a bunch of Pop-Tarts and drop it into vanilla ice cream. Instead, it crafted a brown sugar-cinnamon ice cream with crumbled pastry and a caramel swirl.

First off, Jeni’s always passes the texture test, which is critical as no one wants to arm wrestle rock-hard ice cream before enjoying it. I was joyfully able to take a room temperature spoon and scoop it right out of the pint. This texture also translates to how the ice cream ate: super smooth and creamy. Gotta love that high butter fat content!

Fat also equals flavor, so it was also so dang flavorful. I could taste that ooey gooeyness with just a hint of cinnamon for that toasted Pop-Tarts quality. Cold ice cream is obviously the very opposite of being toasted and ooey-gooey, but I reveled in the delightful mind trickery.

This epicness was also largely because Jeni’s only uses high quality ingredients – from the grass-fed milk sourced from local suppliers to each component carefully curated to replicate the toaster pastry’s flavor.

It visually looked like a light brown ice cream with light brown pieces, which was the crumbled pastry part. But, of course, Jeni’s also elevated said pastry to shortbread for a more buttery deliciousness. The only ding was the caramel swirl. What swirl?! That would have added a nice visual touch to the pint, but it didn’t affect how much I enjoyed it.

But, per the ingredient list, she made this magic with cream, milk, cane sugar, cinnamon caramel sauce – made of cream, brown sugar, sugar, and honey – and Madagascar Bourbon vanilla. That build is night and day compared to the Pop-Tarts’ ingredient list of corn syrup, dextrose, high fructose corn syrup, and caramel color.

I also tried this head-to-head with a buttered Pop-Tart (My first ever! Also, Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich, anyone?!), and it made me marvel again at the astounding attention to detail. I tasted that hint of salt crucial in all sweet goods, but the ice cream also replicated the pat of salted butter on top of my freshly toasted Pop-Tart. Chef’s Kiss.

This limited time flavor dropped online and in scoop shops on 6/22, so get yours ASAP. If you haven’t had Jeni’s and you’ve been thinking about it, this is your sign!!

Purchased Price: $12
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Jenis.com
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 Cup / 127g) 340 calories, 22 grams of fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 65 mg of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 5 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard

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We all have some beliefs that we know with certainty are true, and no amount of debate or evidence will ever change our minds. For me, one of those tenets is this: sprinkles are wildly overrated and borderline useless in society. I know others disagree, including the group of small children I saw at a Fourth of July picnic fighting over a shaker of sprinkles for their ice cream. Perhaps they had been studying the Declaration of Independence and thought acquiring said sprinkles would help them successfully achieve their pursuit of happiness. I contend that those kids were misguided. Try eating a handful of just sprinkles and tell me I’m wrong.

At this point, you might assume that my review of Dairy Queen’s July Blizzard of the Month is trending toward a big thumbs down because the Cake Batter Cookie Dough Blizzard has a double dose of sprinkles. The colorful pieces of nothingness are mixed into the cake batter-flavored soft serve and embedded into the confetti cookie dough pieces.

There is a hero, however, that saves this Blizzard. While the standard vanilla soft serve base of most Blizzards is perfectly fine, this cake batter variation is sumptuous. It somehow manages to amp up the sweetness of the ice cream without going too far, and it delivers a subtle extra flavor that seems like a little bit of icing mixed with cake. I would definitely eat cake batter ice cream by itself.

Despite my professed indifference, or perhaps even disdain, for sprinkles, I must say this is a decent Blizzard. And I will begrudgingly say the sprinkles are not completely useless here. They bring a rainbow of color, which I guess is great if you are posting on Instagram, and they contribute a bit of extra texture, which is pleasant. But because sprinkles have virtually no taste, they contribute virtually nothing to the flavor of this Blizzard.

The cookie dough nuggets in here can best be described as sugar cookie-flavored. Again, there are some sprinkles in the cookie dough, as shown in the photo after I dissected one, but, again, they don’t add any flavor.

The quibble I have with this Blizzard — other than my excessive diatribe about sprinkles — is that the cookie dough pieces are overshadowed by the cake batter ice cream. The dough had such a mild flavor that I almost forgot about it. This one might be worth doing a little experimenting and asking for some M&M’s or Oreo cookies to be added to the mix.

Even though this one missed the mark a bit for me, it is certainly worth trying just to experience the cake batter-flavored ice cream.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 610 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 71 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

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