REVIEW: Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza

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Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Box

What is Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza?

Red Baron’s new “Fully Loaded” product line is named for its generous toppings. This pepperoni variety promises two kinds of pepperoni tossed among mozzarella cheese and a zesty tomato sauce. Also available are Five Cheese and Supreme varieties.

How is it?

As an avid fan of both junk food and the written word, I like to luxuriate in product descriptions. Finding just the right word can evoke glorious imagery. As I read the official Fully Loaded descriptions on Red Baron’s website, certain phrases characterizing this new product line’s toppings appealed to my inner word nerd: “loaded,” “mounds,” “piled high.”

What bounty! What splendor!

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Frozen

Unpackaged, the pizza is unfettered from those lofty expectations. Contrary to the product’s name, the Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza isn’t overloaded with toppings, although it offers enough to deliver great flavor.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Toppings

Slices of crisp, lightly spicy pepperoni pair with chewy, salty little pepperoni cubes to ensure each piece of pizza gets a hit of meat. Mozzarella covers the pizza but is too spare to achieve cheese-pull status. Flecks of cheddar are also present, but their flavor is largely lost among the mozzarella and pepperoni spices. The tomato sauce is a nice surprise: thick in texture with hints of sweetness and smoky paprika.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Crust

The real bounty of this pizza lies in the crust, which may be the most successful of all the Red Baron products I’ve tried. Moderately seasoned and buttery, it’s not too greasy. Thick and chewy, it somehow manages to remain airy and light. My only complaint is its tendency toward gumminess in the middle of the pizza, where the lightest part of the crust absorbs the sauce.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Cooked

The crust’s edges are crisp — and I mean crisp. Have you ever watched a cooking show where the host bites into their final creation, turns to the camera, and asks the viewer, “Did you hear that?” I was tempted to recreate that for you, but this is a written review and so you can’t hear the satisfying crunch of my pizza cutter rolling through this crispy, crispy crust. I’m sorry for that.

And I’m sorry to demote your star status, toppings.

Anything else you need to know?

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Side

This pizza reminds me a lot of DiGiorno’s Crispy Pan Pizza because they have similarly thick, yet airy crusts at comparable price points. I like both products equally.

Conclusion:

Red Baron’s Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza is hearty, flavorful, and among the brand’s stronger offerings. The product’s name sets high expectations that the toppings themselves don’t fulfill, but its thick, crispy crust helps to deliver an abundant bite.

Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: 27.85 oz (1 lb and 11.85 oz)/789 g
Purchased at: Giant Eagle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1/6 pizza) 380 calories, 19 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Impossible Chicken Nuggets

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Impossible Chicken Nuggets Bag

What are Impossible Chicken Nuggets?

After the success of its plant-based burgers, especially in the form of the Impossible Whopper from Burger King, Impossible Foods has introduced chicken nuggets. Having made its mark on the world by creating a plant-burger patty nearly identical to beef, it was only matter of time before Impossible Foods attempted to replicate another animal. Will these plant-based nuggets manage another feat of food super-science?

How are they?

I’m the last person in the world to not have an air-fryer, so I cooked these in my stupid, non-trendy regular oven. Eleven minutes at 375 degrees resulted in hot and crispy nuggets. I ate one too quickly and burned my mouth, just like when I was a kid!

Impossible Chicken Nuggets Coating

They’re hot, juicy, too salty, and taste like chicken. Or, they taste like chicken as much as chicken nuggets do. Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? Ground, pressed, and formed chicken made into nuggets is about as far away from actual chicken as possible, so how impressive is it to recreate them from soy?

Anything else you need to know?

Impossible Chicken Nuggets Innards

I’m usually fairly forgiving when it comes to “imitation” foods. I like Boca Burgers despite them tasting nothing like actual hamburgers. Does imitation crab taste anything like real crab? No, but it’s still good. Impossible Foods has set itself the high standard of being indistinguishable from the real thing and so I judge them accordingly.

Are these plant-based nuggets the equivalent of chicken? Yeah, they’re even closer than the burgers. Yet, I have to think that these nuggets are less impressive than an Impossible Whopper. Chicken nuggets are a notoriously hyper-processed product (Jamie Oliver is on a crusade about them). When Impossible Foods delivers the whole muscle meats that they’re working on is when plant-based meat will have its true test.

Conclusion:

Impossible Foods’ plant-based chicken nuggets achieve the (not quite) impossible feat of making a nugget that’s no different than one made from chicken. I’m looking forward to what Impossible Foods has coming next.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 13.5 oz pouch (383g)
Purchased at: Woodman’s Market
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 pieces) 240 calories, 12 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 480 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles

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Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Box

What are Kellogg’s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles?

This time last year, Kellogg’s released a collection of frozen waffles that included flavors like Mermaid (Blue Raspberry), Unicorn (Cotton Candy), and Birthday Cake. This year, raspberry-flavored Narwhal waffles have joined them.

What in tarnation is a narwhal you ask? Unlike mermaids, unicorns, and the mythical “birthday cake,” narwhals are real. They’re medium-sized whales with a single, long horn (tusk) on the front of their heads. I hear they taste like raspberries, hence the waffle flavor.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Closeup

How is it?

These blue-green raspberry waffles looked an awful lot like the blue raspberry Mermaid waffles from last year. Suspiciously alike. But did I even care? I loved the Mermaid (and the Unicorn) waffles. So even if they were simply a retread, I’d be happy.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Berries

And they were a retread – woo hoo! The same fruity-eggy aroma, really fun teal hue, and sugary raspberry flavor. They were thick waffles that toasted nicely, and something about the octagonal shape was so satisfying. I couldn’t hate on these, even if the narwhal was just a mermaid in a new costume.

Anything else you need to know?

The back of the box asked me to “check out all our other fun waffles,” but only showed Unicorn and Birthday Cake flavors, so I’m thinking Narwhal is a replacement for Mermaid. Mermaids are SO 2020.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Back

Conclusion:

I loved these! You will too if you’re a fan of: cute things, sparkly things, pink/blue/purple things, things that taste like someone lightly rubbed a Jolly Rancher on them, things that taste like last year’s things lightly rubbed with Jolly Ranchers, 8-sided things, things to put in the toaster and forget are there, things that make other people ask why they exist, or things that are unapologetically happy.

Purchased Price: $2.96
Size: 11.oz box (6 waffles)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 waffle) 130 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of total sugars, including 7 grams of added sugars, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Chuck E. Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza

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Chuck E Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza Box

What is Chuck E. Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza?

While restaurant-branded foods sold in grocery stores aren’t a new thing, Chuck E. Cheese has decided to enter the market with a frozen pizza line. Currently offered in cheese or pepperoni, these pizzas are currently exclusive to Kroger.

How is it?

Chuck E Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza Baked

As I was sitting down to try the pizza, I realized I needed to recreate the feeling of being in a Chuck E. Cheese to really bring you all a well-rounded review. I spilled some soda on the floor, blasted some Rock-afire Explosion on my TV, and had my husband run up and down the hallway screaming about a broken game machine.

While I don’t think that added much to eating the pizza, I was pleasantly surprised by the item’s quality.

Chuck E Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza Crust

The crust was thin, but not so thin that it crumbled when cut. The sauce was a little on the sweet side, but a fairly standard pizza sauce. It could have used a little more cheese, but most frozen pizzas tend to be lighter on cheese. The pepperoni was a pleasant surprise in both quality AND quantity.

Chuck E Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza Slices

I couldn’t tell you how it compares to what’s served at Chuck E. Cheese locations, but I’d hope the in-store product is a higher quality than grocery store frozen pizza.

Anything else you need to know?

Chuck E Cheese Pepperoni Frozen Pizza Tickets

There’s a coupon on the back of the box for 250 e-tickets. I have no idea what that means in real people’s money, but I think it equals around 100 Shrute bucks.

Conclusion:

While I doubt you’ll find yourself reaching for this unless it’s on sale or you have kids who want those sweet e-tickets, it’s a perfectly serviceable frozen pizza. It sits firmly ahead of Totino’s Party Pizzas, but under DiGiorno in terms of quality.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 18.55 oz
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 310 calories, 14 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Gluten Free Pepperoni Pizza

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Gluten Free Pepperoni DiGiorno Pizza Box

I’ve had enough DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizzas to know that if you stuck one in a generic pizza box and told me it was delivery from some local restaurant, I’d take out the pizza, look to see if there were any grease stains on the box and if there weren’t any, I’d put it in the recycling bin. And if there were grease stains, I’d scold you for wasting a perfectly good pizza box on a poorly planned prank.

My internal prank detector would also quickly notice an attempt to swap a regular DiGiorno pepperoni pizza with DiGiorno’s new Gluten Free Pepperoni Pizza. Unlike Gluten Free Oreo Cookies, DiGiorno’s gluten free offering doesn’t look, smell, or taste exactly like the gluten-ful version.

Gluten Free Pepperoni DiGiorno Pizza Whole

The burnt cheese may say otherwise, but I did follow the instructions. As I pulled the pizza from the oven, I knew the crust’s rigidness meant it would be crispy or crunchy. While regular DiGiorno crust has some crispiness, this gluten free crust was noticeably crunchier and drier. It even looked like it would be with its too long at the tanning salon looks.

According to DiGiorno, its gluten free pizzas are the only ones in the frozen aisle that feature a thick hand-tossed crust.

Gluten Free Pepperoni DiGiorno Pizza Toppings

Of course, crust only is part of the pizza equation. The sauce, cheese, and pepperoni seem to taste like what’s on a regular DiGiorno offering. While they’re the same toppings, the crust really affects how everything tastes. It’s noticeably blander than the standard stuff, and not even the toppings can help hide that fact.

It’s not a bad pizza, but it’s also not a great one. It’s a good enough pizza, and if I was late to a frozen pizza party and this was all that was left, I would gladly eat it. But more importantly, for those of you who have gluten sensitivities, you now have another option. Or do you?

The ingredients list says it contains wheat starch. Yes, wheat contains gluten. But wheat starch is followed by an asterisk that leads to the following statement, “The wheat has been processed to allow this food to meet the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) requirements for gluten-free foods.”

What does that mean? Research for me.

According to the FDA website, a product that contains an ingredient that’s been processed to have less than 20 parts per million (ppm) of gluten can carry a label of “gluten-free.” So, what I take from that is that this may contain a trace amount of gluten or no gluten. But, if there is, it’s below or meets the FDA requirement. Um, yeah, that doesn’t make things clear. So if you have Celiac disease or are very sensitive to gluten, you may want to skip this pizza.

Gluten Free Pepperoni DiGiorno Pizza Stretch

Look, I’m not someone who would typically eat gluten-free food. I’m a gluten-free food hobbyist. I like to try them and compare them with the original version of the product if there is one. I brought up Gluten Free Oreo because it did wonderfully at replicating what a regular Oreo tastes like. But this Gluten Free DiGiorno Pizza wasn’t able to accomplish the same.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample. Doing so did not influence my review. Also, my sample was sent in a plain white box, so the image at the beginning of the review was provided by DiGiorno.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 26.1 oz.
Purchased at: Received from DiGiorno
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/5 pizza) 320 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 970 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of added sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

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