REVIEW: Spicy Queso Funyuns

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I once played this video game… I don’t remember the exact name, but the object was to find as many golden rings as possible.

This furry blue dude ran around collecting them so that he could eventually buy his freedom from a mad scientist shaped like an egg. His name was “Static” or something. I think it was based on a true story.

Anyway, those golden rings always reminded me of Funyuns. Why? I don’t know. This is clearly a fake story, so just go with it. I mean, come on, who’s never heard of Sarnac the Muskrat?

I’ll say this: if ol’ Sarnac had to collect Spicy Queso Funyuns, he’d probably just end up keeping them all for himself and dealing with the consequences.

Yeah, those exist. In a rare move, Frito Lay has let Funyuns branch out with a new Spicy Queso flavor.

I needed a little ring redemption after my last review of Snyder’s Oktoberfest Rings, and while I liked these a lot, I gotta let you know the bad before the good – they don’t really taste like Funyuns.

I believe they set out to add a cheese flavor to the iconic flavor, but the onion essence basically gets spiced out. It’s a bit of a bummer, but I suggest approaching these as Funyuns in shape and texture form only. If you’re familiar with Frito Lay’s queso dip, I think these actually tasted like it in crisp form, so there’s some good brand synergy there.

As I crunched on, I started getting flavor vibes of two other snacks – Andy Capp’s Hot Fries and the recent Chili Cheese Doritos 3D’s. If you know Hot Fries, the heat level is slightly below those, but they have very similar textures. The lingering level of spice and cheesiness reminded me of 3Ds, although those leaned more towards a “beefy” chili flavor, so just imagine a Funyun ring that tastes like a spicy cheddar with a pinch of jalapeño. I’ve never tried Flamin’ Hot Funyuns, but I suspect those are slightly hotter overall.

As far as the crunch goes, I was pleasantly surprised. I’ve compared Funyuns to Cap’n’ Crunch in the past because they usually tear my palate up. Thankfully, that didn’t happen here because the usual mouth shred paired with a spicy flavor probably would’ve destroyed my tastebuds.

Overall, these are very solid, but I was completely satisfied with a small bag. The flavor is nice, but I wish the typical Funyun flavor was ramped up. I’ve never dipped an onion ring in queso, so who knows, these could be 100% accurate. They’re not an improvement on the originals but a strong spinoff. As far as ring-based snack reviews go, I’m batting .500.

Maybe this will lead to further expansions of the Funyuns brand. Trader Joe’s used to make a Sweet Onion-flavored Funyun knockoff that was elite, and I’d love to see Frito-Lay try that next.

Here’s hoping my next review isn’t ring-based because I don’t feel like doing a bit about watching that one horror movie. It was about a ghost mime coming out of a videotape or something. I think it’s based on a true story.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 2 1/8 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 13 pieces) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monterey Jack & Garden Tomato SunChips

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I don’t know why I can’t put down this bag of Monterey Jack & Garden Tomato SunChips. It’s as if my body is telling itself that it’s starving for whole grains, which it totally is, thanks to my diet of everything I eat for this site.

It’s puzzling to me because it’s not as if these chips have a flavor that explodes in my mouth like the gasses in the sun. Yeah, I taste the cheese and tomato, but the seasoning doesn’t pound my taste buds like I’m scraping off the toppings of a cheese pizza with my front teeth. Even after eating almost half the bag, my fingers aren’t even close to being coated in seasoning like they would be if I ate Cheetos, Doritos, or anything labeled Flamin’ Hot.

Basically, if SunChips decided to make a “pizza” flavor, this would be it. But calling it “pizza flavor” probably wouldn’t mesh with SunChips’ healthy whole grain push. Maybe its pizza-like flavor is why I can’t stop shoving my hand into the bag because I love pizza-flavored things that aren’t actual pizza, like pizza-flavored Pringles.

Right now, I’m dangerously close to finishing this bag in one sitting because I’ve started pulling out the small broken chips that settled to the bottom. That also means I’ve probably consumed a meal’s worth of SunChips. Thank goodness this has 30% less fat than potato chips. So eating the whole bag is like eating an entire pint of Halo Top, where it’s okay to eat all of it in one sitting, right?

(Looks at the bag, does math). Nope. Not like Halo Top.

Well, at least I’ll get 133 grams of whole grain.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 7 oz bag
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 14 chips/28 grams) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 140 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar (including 2 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich Potato Chips

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Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich chips went down so easily that I’m already thinking about Havana-nother bag.

Let’s just go ahead and move on from the pun, ok? We all see it. It’s not going anywhere. Havana, like the capital of Cuba. Real clever, bro. It is what it is, and I’m not gonna apologize. Anyway…

Cuban sandwiches! We like those, don’t we folks?

Lay’s has been putting out sandwich-based chips for years and even dropped some limited edition city-inspired flavors, so how did it take this long to get to the delicious Miami-born Cuban sandwich?

I can’t believe this wasn’t a “Do Us a Flavor” winner at some point, and we’re just now finally getting it. It has to be worth the wait, right?

Well, I’m Havana hard time trying to decide.

Ok, I apologize for that one.

Right outta the bag, the chips smelled familiar, giving off Cheddar and Sour Cream vibes, so I instantly expected the cheese to dominate. Once I chomped down, I realized it was a soft cheesiness that I just kinda accepted as Swiss. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice mild flavor, but without previous knowledge, I’m not sure I would have pinpointed that cheese specifically. Swiss is obviously a milder cheese, but I wish it popped more.

I was a little surprised at just how mellow the overall flavor was until I got hints of mustard and pickle that ended up being my favorite pieces of the puzzle that is this chip.

Like the cheese, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the protein element. At first, it just tasted like some kind of vague spiced meat, but it slowly transformed into a pretty impressive hammy pork flavor. At that point, I realized how complex these chips actually were. They somehow managed to sneak in subtle flavors of both pork roast and ham without them canceling each other out.

You really get each individual Cuban sandwich ingredient to the point that I think these might be one of the most successful Lay’s flavor reproductions I can recall… yet I still wished there was MORE flavor.

They have a sensation that makes it seem like they’re ready to get spicy at any second, but the heat never comes. They’re mild but on the verge of bursting with flavors. It’s hard to explain. I left wishing each chip had about 20% more of a dusting. These were so close to perfection, but they needed to be ramped up to “Cubano Xtreme” or something. They’re layered and impressive but ultimately unfulfilling.

I give Lay’s props for deciding to make these Wavy though. I think it’s the perfect level of crunch for the flavor, and the grooves give a great little nod to the panini press grill marks of the real thing. Regular chips would have been too boring, and I think the flavor balance would’ve gotten thrown out of whack on a greasy kettle chip.

So, while these let me down ever so slightly, I guess I’m still satisfied. I wish they were caked in seasoning like Doritos. What can I say?

If you think I’m gonna close with that pun again, you have another thing comin’.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 7.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (13 Chips) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Baked Lay’s Buffalo Chicken Sandwich Potato Crisps

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Baked Lay’s Buffalo Chicken Sandwich Potato Crisps are the first Baked Lay’s product I truly enjoyed and want more of after finishing the bag. It’s a monumental moment in my snacking history!

I’ve had other Baked Lay’s products over the years, but beyond the original Baked Lay’s Potato Crisps, I can’t remember what they were, so they must’ve not been that great, right? But I’ll definitely remember these limited time only crisps long after they’re gone because they’re the best tasting Baked Lay’s product I’ve ever had.

What were these called again?

The graphics on the packaging show a crispy chicken sandwich topped with Buffalo sauce, pickles, and cheese. All of those ingredients are present at different levels here. To be honest, adding cheese flavoring seems odd for a Buffalo chicken sandwich. Blue cheese or ranch makes more sense, and the cheese is the least noticeable and gets overpowered by the hot sauce and pickle flavors most of the time. I expected a more robust vinegar tang from the Buffalo seasoning, but it tastes like it gets most of its tang from the pickle flavoring. There’s also a bit of chicken/grease flavor that’s easy to miss. While the Buffalo seasoning doesn’t have the same flavor punch or heat as the wing sauce, when combined with the pickle seasoning, they help make the usually unexciting crisp delicious.

However, the thing with these is that the flavor isn’t consistent. Only one side appears seasoned, and the only way the other side gets any seasoning is by rubbing itself with the other chips in the bag like they’re on a crowded dance floor. So I had to be aware of which side was hitting my tongue, which is not optimal when dealing with my tried and true method of shoving food mindlessly into my mouth.

Oh, speaking of shoving chips into my maw, I enjoyed these so much that I almost ate the entire bag in one sitting. I wish this bag was like a pint of Halo Top, and I could eat the whole thing without guilt. Sure, they have 65 percent less fat than regular potato chips, but this entire 6.25-ounce bag has 720 calories, so I’m feeling a bit guilty right now.

If you hate Baked Lay’s Potato Crisps because of their flavor or because they look, feel, and seem to soak saliva like dehydrated sponges, I’m not sure the spicy and tangy taste of these Buffalo chicken sandwich-flavored crisps is enough to change your mind or saliva gland’s opinion.

Purchased Price: $2.71 (on sale)
Size: 6.25 oz bag
Purchased at: Longs Drugs
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 17 chips) 120 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar (including 2 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Tangy Chili Fusion

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I’m not sure if this is true in every region or state, but in the Bay Area of California, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos reign supreme. I would imagine it’s the same in at least Los Angeles, San Diego, and most of Texas, where the youth get adapted to heat seeking at an early age. Whether eaten straight, topped with fresh lime juice, or dunked into cream cheese, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos have felt like a dominant force since they burst onto the snack scene in 1992.

Until relatively recently, though, Frito-Lay has kept it pretty modest with the varieties — Flamin’ Hot, Xxtra Flamin’ Hot, Puffs, and Limon being the only changes that come to mind until 2017’s Chipotle Ranch twist — one of my personal favorites. In recent years the Flamin’ Hot floodgates have opened and the seasoning has popped up on several other chip styles and flavor remixes, including the latest member of Chester Cheeto’s family, Flamin’ Hot Tangy Chili Fusion.

When I first saw the name and color of the bag of this new Cheetos, I envisioned a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos colliding with a purple bagged Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos, and that’s kind of what these are like, but they’re absolutely in a spicy lane of their own, too.

The color is the same menacingly deep red that instantly stains your fingers, with a pungent, spicy, and smoky aroma that wafts from the bag. The most notable flavor that immediately jumps out is the smokiness, which has a sharp and intense bite like chipotle chili peppers. The smokiness quickly evolves into a more familiar Flamin’ Hot spice with just a touch of sweetness and finishes with a legit tangy acidic punch akin to vinegar and lemon juice. Crunching away at these slightly greasy airy delights is no problem at all, with the heat building as you eat, which encourages the salty snacking spiral like no other.

I was expecting a more pronounced sweetness, probably because of my Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos association, but it never really comes, aside from a bit of herbaceous bell peppery flavor. In fact, when tasting these side by side with a bag of Flamin’ Hot Limon, the Tangy Chili Fusion is less sweet and more sharply tangy than the Limon, which has a citrusy sweetness that’s even more pronounced next to the smoky charred tang and bold intensity of the Fusion.

It will be interesting to see how long these stick around because they’re very good, but I’m not sure many would choose them over the original Flamin’ Hot, and I certainly wouldn’t take them over my favorite all-time Cheetos Mexican Street Corn. Tangy Chili Fusion is a fun and surprisingly aggressive twist on a modern classic from the king of spicy, salty snacks.

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 8.5 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 pieces, 28g) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 grams of total sugars, and 1 gram of protein.

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