REVIEW: Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855

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Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855

What’s fun about the Doritos Jacked Test Flavors is trying to figure out what flavors they are. Looking at the ingredients list is the equivalent of shaking a Christmas present to determine what it could be.

What’s on each Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855 chip reads like result of a McCormick spices factory being dropped on a dairy and a Chinese restaurant. There’s paprika, spices, salt, sour cream, cayenne pepper sauce, onion powder, MSG, sugar, garlic powder, butter, cheddar cheese, buttermilk, and blue cheese.

A number of those ingredients make each chip look dark red, and a bit ominous, as if Lucifer stood above them, rubbed his head really fast with his hands, and let his dandruff fall on them.

The chips have a heat that matches their color. It’s the spiciest of the three Doritos Jacked Test Flavors, but it takes a few chips before the heat builds up to its maximum. Those who have a high tolerance for spiciness will consider these chips to be all show, no whoa. They didn’t make me want to reach for any soothing liquid, but they did make me yearn for tacos.

I guess I can blame the sour cream flavor that instantly hit my mouth when I started eating the chips for my tacos jones. It stood out like clowns on stilts with yellow crushed velvet track suits, oversized sunglasses, rainbow afro wigs, and erections. I liked the tangy sour cream flavor that cut through the heat of the chip, plus I now know what it’s like to make out with a Taco Bell sour cream gun.

Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855 Closeup

The sour cream was followed by waves of spices — paprika, cayenne, onion powder, and garlic powder. The paprika and cayenne were the most noticeable of the bunch. The sour cream and spices combination caused the chips to taste like a spicy taco supreme…no wait. A spicy burrito supreme. No, um…chili cook-off chili with sour cream on top. No. A Taco Bell Cool Ranch Spicy Chicken Doritos Locos Taco. No, um… As you can see, I’m not sure what flavor they are, but these red chips are my favorite of the three Doritos Jacked Test Flavors because of its spiciness and the bold sour cream flavor.

With that said, they are also the least intriguing of the three. The other Doritos Jacked Test Flavors have ingredients like lime juice solids, orange juice solids, cocoa powder, chocolate liquor, and brown sugar. Test Flavor 855 has components that seem like they’ve flavored many other Doritos products. I guess one could say, except my computer’s spellcheck, they are the normalest of the three.

Whatever Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855 is, when Frito-Lay announces what flavor it is, it better have a jacked name. Might I suggest Doritos Jacked Devil’s Dandruff.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Doritos Jacked Test Flavor 855
Purchased Price: $3.79 (on sale)
Size: 10 oz bag
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Spices and sour cream is a tasty combination. Nice medium heat that slowly builds up. Makes me yearn for tacos. If Frito-Lay ends up calling it Doritos Jacked Devil’s Dandruff.
Cons: Looks like it’s been coated with Lucifer’s dandruff. I have no idea what flavor it is. Least intriguing Doritos Jacked Test Flavor. Heat heads won’t be impressed with the level. Definitely won’t be called it Doritos Jacked Devil’s Dandruff.

REVIEW: Limited Time Only Ketchup Doritos (Canada)

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Limited Time Only Ketchup Doritos (Canada)

I still remember my shock, as a kid, finding out that ketchup chips are mostly just a Canadian thing, and that they’re not readily available in the States. This information stunned me. It made me question the way I perceived the world. Ketchup chips are such a fundamental potato chip flavour; this was like being told that Americans cannot perceive the colour blue.

As far as I’m concerned, there are certain bedrock chip flavours. Salt & vinegar. Barbecue. Sour cream & onion. Ketchup. All Dressed.

Wait — you don’t have All Dressed, either?? What kind of lives have you been living? I’ll answer that one: empty lives. Empty, horrible, All-Dressed-and-ketchup-chip-less lives.

Ketchup and fries are obviously natural bedfellows. Potato chips and fries are clearly brothers in the junk food family tree (or at the very least, cousins). It follows, then, that ketchup chips are a complete no-brainer.

But ketchup Doritos? That’s different. That’s as wacky to me as it is to you. I’ve never seen anybody dip a tortilla chip into ketchup, and I hope that day never comes. It’s too horrible to fathom.

So if the ketchup/tortilla combo is gross, Ketchup Doritos must be gross too, right? Well… read on, my friend. Read on.

Before I get into this particular flavour, I will say that I think Doritos are the best store-bought tortilla chip on the market. I don’t want to get too hyperbolic, but I think they’re pretty much textural perfection; they’re the perfect combination of crispy, airy, and crunchy.

(And I really wish they’d make plain Doritos easier to find, but they’re completely unavailable in Canada, and even in the States I’m almost never able to track them down. But I digress.)

I definitely wasn’t sold on this flavour after my first bite. Doritos and ketchup is such a weird combination that it just seems wrong. At first you’re hit with that vinegary ketchup sweetness and and it seems to confirm your worst fears. It feels off-putting.

But then you have another, and another, and before you know it, you’re hooked. There’s something weirdly addictive and oddly satisfying about it. A hint can be found in the ingredients. The third ingredient of the seasoning is monosodium glutimate, a.k.a. the dreaded MSG.

I should note that the notion that MSG is more unhealthy than any other seasoning has been thoroughly debunked at this point, in case you were wondering. What MSG does do is heighten a food’s umami factor. Combined with the dehydrated tomato (another umami-packed ingredient), it gives these Doritos (and quite a few other Doritos flavours) a savoury richness that you can’t quite put your finger on, but that keeps you coming back chip after chip.

Limited Time Only Ketchup Doritos (Canada) Closeup

The seasoning isn’t quite as liberally applied as with some other flavours. This is definitely a good thing; a little bit of the puckery sweet vinegar flavouring of the ketchup goes a long way. This means that more of the chip’s corn flavour shines through, which compliments the ketchup flavour fairly well, oddly enough.

It’s not my favourite variety of Doritos ever (it still has that distinctive ketchupy taste, which is never going to be perfect on a tortilla chip), but it is way, way better than you’d think it would be. I really only needed to sample one bag for the purpose of this review, and I’m already onto my second, which tells you how much I enjoyed it (it also tells you that I’m a pig whose boundless appetite can never quite be sated… but we’ll set that aside for the moment).

(Nutrition facts – 50 grams/21 chips – 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fibre, 2 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Time Only Ketchup Doritos (Canada)
Purchased Price: $3.50 CAN
Size: 245 gram bag
Purchased at: Hasty Market
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Way better than you’d think it would be. Surprisingly addictive.
Cons: The very idea of it is a bit off-putting. Ketchup and tortilla chips is never not going to be a weird combination.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Lay’s Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate

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Limited Edition Lay's Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate

My saturated fat-addled mind has been dreaming of these chocolate-dipped chips for a long time.

Well, to be accurate, I dreamed of Lay’s Original Potato Chips and Lay’s Kettle Cooked Potato Chips dipped in chocolate. However, even though it ended up being Lay’s Wavy Potato Chips dipped in milk chocolate, my saturated fat-addled mind is still happy.

Actually, to be even more accurate, my dreams didn’t involve the chips being dipped into chocolate, instead the chips were anthropomorphic and they wrestled in a Spongebob Squarepants kiddie pool of melted chocolate surrounded by cheering anthropomorphic crunchy snacks. At the end of the match, the cracked, chocolate-dripping loser would march into my mouth and the chocolate-dripping winner would battle another potato chip.

The Lay’s Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate don’t look like they were wrestling in a small inflatable pool because the chips are mostly coated on one side. Anyone who’s grappled with an opponent in a kiddie pool knows it’s impossible to not get completely covered in whatever is in the pool. It’s a thick layer of chocolate that gives each chip a noticeable heft.

Limited Edition Lay's Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate Closeup

Frito-Lay was correct in using their Lay’s Wavy Potato Chips. Their thickness doesn’t cause their crunch to get dampened by the chocolate like they probably would’ve with the thinner Lay’s Original Potato Chips. The milk chocolate was sweet and I loved the way it instantly melted in my mouth the moment it hit my tongue, as if my saliva was molten lava.

For a brief moment the chocolate’s sweetness and potato chip’s crunchiness made me happy, but there no epic unclasping-of-a-bra-like euphoria that makes my innards scream, “YES!” Instead, there’s a Wonderbra-like disappointment, because they aren’t as awesome as I imagined them to be in my mind. The whole point of combining chocolate with potato chips is to create that pleasing sweet and salty combo, but with most of the chips I ate, I felt they were significantly more sweet than salty and the potato flavor couldn’t cut through the sweetness.

Salt plays a huge part in what makes potato chips so addictive, but my taste buds didn’t regularly register any. And for those times I did, it wasn’t as potent as I hoped it would be. I think I can get a more pronounced saltiness on my tongue if I ran in place for 20 seconds and then licked myself.

Limited Edition Lay's Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate Bag Size

Besides the lack of salt, another issue is the sticker shock. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s really packaging shock, which is then followed by sticker shock. Each bag comes with five ounces of chocolate dipped chips, but that bag is the same size as the smallest bag of Lay’s Potato Chips (1 7/8 oz.) I could find at my nearest convenience store. Yes, chocolate is heavier than deep fried potato slices, but I’m pretty sure most people who see the bag will think, “Wow. That’s a small bag.” Then they’ll look at the price and maybe have some hesitation about purchasing it.

I know it sounds like I’m not thrilled by these Lay’s Wavy Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate, but I did enjoy making my way through the bag, getting chocolate all over my hands. They’re really good, but they didn’t blow my mind. But I think that’s my fault, because my saturated fat-addled mind had such high expectations of them.

A special thanks goes to Impulsive Buy reader Johnny who sent me two bags.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz./about 4 chips – 160 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 130 milligrams of potassium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Lay’s Wavy Original Potato Chips Dipped in Milk Chocolate
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Really good. It’s frickin’ milk chocolate dipped potato chips! Use of Lay’s Wavy chips helped prevent the crunch from being dampened by the chocolate. Love the way the chocolate instantly melted on my tongue.
Cons: Most chips were significantly more sweet than salty. Target exclusive. Serving size is about 4 chips. Potato flavor couldn’t break through the sweetness. Potential buyers might have packaging shock, then followed by sticker shock. The dreams my saturated fat-addled mind has.

QUICK REVIEW: Ruffles Ultimate Loaded Bacon & Cheddar Potato Skins Potato Chips

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Ruffles Ultimate Loaded Bacon & Cheddar Potato Skins Potato Chips

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 7.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Longs Drugs
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cheesy. Slight smoky bacon flavor. Sprinkled with bits of green onion. Cheddar & Sour Cream Ruffles. Great replacement if you can’t find this, this, or buy some frozen bacon and cheese potato skins.
Cons: Crunch feels more cracker-like. Regular Ruffles have a better crunch than these. I highly doubt anyone is purchasing this because it has deeper ridges than previous Ruffles Ultimate. Tastes too similar to previous bacon and cheddar potato skin Ruffles varieties. Potato skin flavor has been overused by Ruffles. Has more food dyes than I’d like when it comes to potato chips.

Ruffles Ultimate Loaded Bacon & Cheddar Potato Skins Potato Chips Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 oz. – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 310 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Lay’s Fun Wasabi Shrimp Flavor Potato Chips (China)

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Lay's Fun Wasabi Shrimp Flavor Potato Chips

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 75 grams
Purchased at: Received from a friend
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Enjoyable mild wasabi flavor; very little wasabi heat. Kind of smells like McDonald’s Hot Mustard Sauce. Whatever I eat to get the flavor of these chips out of my mouth.
Cons: Not fun after the wasabi flavor goes away. Do I taste cheese? Shrimp isn’t noticeable until the aftertaste. Smells fishy. I can’t eat much of it. Gagged twice while eating my way through the bag. Dollop of wasabi on the bag looks as sad as I do while eating these chips.

Lay's Fun Wasabi Shrimp Flavor Potato Chips Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 30 grams – 656 kcal, 9.2 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 144 milligrams of sodium, 16.2 grams of carbohydrates, 1.7 grams of protein.

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