REVIEW: Taco Bell Flamin’ Hot Grilled Cheese Burrito

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Taco Bell Flamin' Hot Grilled Cheese Burrito is red

When I first heard about Taco Bell’s Flamin’ Hot Grilled Cheese Burrito, I thought the chain just threw a bunch of Flamin’ Hot seasoned chips into a burrito with several standard Taco Bell ingredients, dusted off Flamin’ Hot seasoning from its hands, and called it a day.

However, that’s not the case. Instead, Taco Bell threw a bunch of Flamin’ Hot seasoned chips into a burrito with several standard Taco Bell ingredients, added Flamin’ Hot Fritos to a new spicy seasoned rice, dusted off Flamin’ Hot seasoning from its hands, and called it a day.

The two Flamin’ Hot seasoned ingredients make the inside of this burrito look like it belongs in an episode of Stranger Things. It’s ominous-looking, and it’s also so red that it might be embarrassed. However, it shouldn’t be embarrassed because Taco Bell’s Flamin’ Hot Grilled Cheese Burrito is delightful.

Along with the Flamin’ Hot Fritos and new spicy rice seasoned with Flamin’ Hot Fritos, the burrito also features seasoned beef, nacho cheese sauce, reduced-fat sour cream, creamy chipotle sauce, and a three-cheese blend, all wrapped up in a flour tortilla with more cheese grilled on the outside.

Taco Bell Flamin' Hot Grilled Cheese Burrito is really red

I was a little disappointed that Taco Bell used Fritos instead of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos or Doritos, but I understand the chip physics behind it. Cheetos and Doritos would probably succumb to the heat and moisture inside of a burrito before it ended up inside someone’s mouth. Fritos are a sturdier corn chip, and they did a decent job in my order of maintaining their crunchiness after the 10-minute drive home and two-minute photoshoot. While they weren’t straight-from-the-bag crunchy, they did have some crunch by the time I was able to stuff my face with them and the rest of the burrito.

Even with two Flamin’ Hot seasoned ingredients, this didn’t taste like I was eating a gigantic Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Puff. Those two definitely highlight every bite, while the seasoned beef and nacho cheese sauce add their own flavors. There was also a hint of citrus, which might be coming from the chip’s seasoning.

What I also liked, which heat heads might not agree with, was how the nacho cheese sauce, sour cream, and other cheeses somewhat mellowed the spiciness of the Flamin’ Hot seasoning. The heat doesn’t reach the same level as when you eat Flamin’ Hot chips straight out of the bag, but I think that allowed my taste buds to enjoy the seasoning more. Think of the Flamin’ Hot heat being knocked down one or two levels.

Overall, I really enjoyed this burrito. While I didn’t taste the sour cream, creamy chipotle sauce, or the cheese grilled on the tortilla, the Flamin’ Hot Fritos, Flamin’ Hot seasoned rice, seasoned beef, and nacho cheese sauce created one surprisingly tasty burrito that doesn’t remind me of anything else on Taco Bell’s menu.

Purchased Price: $6.59*
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 730 calories, 41 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1570 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cheddar BBQ

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Some BBQ purists are disgusted by the inclusion of cheese with BBQ. I come from the undisputed BBQ capital of the world (take a hike, Texas) and disagree with this sentiment. A nicely melted slice of cheddar does wonders on a burger featuring BBQ sauce. One of the most popular menu items from one of the best BBQ spots in my city (and so, by default, one of the best BBQ places in the world) is the “Z-Man,” a sandwich featuring smoked, sliced brisket, onion rings, a dab of BBQ sauce, and a beautifully smoked slice of provolone cheese all on a Kaiser roll.

So, what I’m saying is that cheese and BBQ are a winning flavor combination, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

It was with this in mind that I had high hopes for the new Flamin’ Hot BBQ Cheddar Cheetos. Well, except for the fact that I never eat Cheetos. It’s not that I don’t like them — it just never crosses my mind to buy them. Oh sure, if I’m on a gently swaying pontoon under a blistering summer sun, and you hand me a bag, I’ll dabble. But left to my own devices in the snack aisle, nine times out of ten, I’m choosing either some sort of Doritos or a potato chip. However, if Frito Lay keeps these around, that may change.

Everything is upfront with these crunchy little curls of deliciousness — the heat, the rich cheddar flavor, the mildly sweet tang of the BBQ sauce, and there’s even a noticeable smokiness that imbues within each piece a degree of unexpected complexity. There is no nuance here — you get what you get in each bite and I appreciate that.

I also appreciate the uniformity. We all know that not every Dorito is created equal; while some triangles are coated with a thick dust of powder, others are as dry as a recently Lasik’d eye. With these Cheetos (and maybe it’s all Cheetos? I may need to dig a little), every bite is as fulfilling as the bite before, and there’s a commodity in the known. I was also surprised by the seemingly muted heat. I’ve had “Flamin’ Hot” things before, and I often find it a stupid heat — hot for the sake of hot. I’m not sure if the smoky BBQ cheesiness balanced these out or what because although there was a nice, mild burn, it wasn’t aggressive or obnoxious.

If you’re an anti-cheesian with regard to BBQ, these may not be for you. But if you hold no such prejudice, or you’re at least open to experimentation, I’d highly recommend snagging a bag of these when you see them. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

Purchased Price: $4.43
Size: 8.5 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (28g) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Doritos Flamin’ Hot Mystery Flavor

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Doritos Flamin’ Hot has a mystery flavor, but the original Flamin’ Hot seasoning has always been a mystery to me. Is it peppers, garlic powder, and Lucifer’s nail filings? Or is it Lucifer’s dry ear wax? I could read the ingredients list, but like IKEA instructions and stories with clickbait headlines that end with “…may kill you,” I’m not going to look at it. While I’ll never solve the mystery behind Flamin’ Hot, I think I’ve figured out this Walmart-exclusive mystery flavor.

While they look like they’ve been sprinkled with Lucifer’s dandruff and are more ominous than regular Flamin’ Hot, these chips don’t seem as spicy as regular Flamin’ Hot snacks. Oh, don’t get me wrong, these have a torrid temp that timid tongues will want to turn away from, but these are easier to eat, even though my head is sweating a little as I type this. I was concerned that the spicy seasoning would overwhelm whatever the mystery flavor was, but that’s not the case. When I opened the bag and sniffed, I had an idea of what it could be.

SPOILER ALERT: Turn away now if you want to avoid knowing my correct (or most likely incorrect) guess.

Along with the famous Flamin’ Hot spiciness, there’s a savoriness that instantly reminds me of chicken-flavored instant ramen, so I believe the mystery flavor is Spicy Chicken Instant Ramen or Spicy Chicken Cup Noodles.

Mystery solved.

(Dusting off Flamin’ Hot seasoning from my hands)

There’s also a noticeable sweetness that cuts through the spicy seasoning, which is perhaps why these don’t burn my mouth like regular Flamin’ Hot products do. But that sweet flavor sometimes causes my taste buds to wonder if they’re eating a spicy Thai curry, which I noticed more in the aftertaste. But I’m sticking with my original take as my final answer, Regis.

Because these Doritos Flamin’ Hot Mystery Flavor chips remind me of a spicy version of my favorite instant ramen variety and don’t punish my mouth with too much heat, I love them very much. I’m not sure if Doritos already revealed the mystery, but whatever it is, it’s surprisingly great, and I wouldn’t mind experiencing it again. In fact, I’d love to see Doritos introduce a new mystery flavor annually.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 9 oz bag
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 11 chips) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn

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Spicy cinnamon is a flavor profile that’s never really taken off.

Unless we’re talking pre-Great Depression era JawBreakers, Hot Tamales, Big Red gum, or a shot of the worst whiskey on the shelf, I can’t even think of anything else with that kinda burn that’s made it to the mass market.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Back in high school, I developed a little bit of an addiction to cinnamon-flavored toothpicks. I used to chew on those Fire-pix so much that the corner of my lips started to look like bootleg Joker makeup.

The reason I bring those toothpicks up is because I needed one after eating a few handfuls of new Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn, a popcorn that almost turned me into a bootleg Joker because they left me wanting to watch the world burn!

Ok, that’s extreme, but this popcorn is Flamin’ Hot Garbage.

I’ll preface the review by saying I’m not the biggest fan of the “Flamin’ Hot” line from Frito Lay. I think the heat tends to alter the iconic flavors. With that said, I do like a little heat, I love cinnamon, and I dig Cheetos Sweetos. How could these possibly be a miss?

Before even getting into the flavor, this is just trash-tier popcorn. It tastes stale and has more rogue kernels than a treasonous misspelled army.

The “flavor” is the ultimate killer though.

If I reviewed these on the instant flavor burst of the very first bite… this would still be an extremely negative review.

These literally just taste like “hot.” That’s the flavor, “hot.” When you put a piece in your mouth, it’s like an air of cinnamon for half a second, and then it tastes like nothing but “hot.”

I expected these to taste like spicy Cheetos Sweetos with the sweetness still coming through. For something labeled “cinnamon sugar,” there is a blip of sweetness. Half a blip. A bl–. They barely taste like cinnamon, let alone sugar. Why couldn’t these be both sweet and hot? Have taste buds not evolved to experience both of those sensations at once?

It’s a shame because the level of heat is kinda perfect. I think it’s slightly less than the usual Flamin’ Hot stuff. I would have no problem eating a decent portion of these if they actually tasted good and weren’t popcorn rejected from the three-flavor Christmas tins. I enjoyed the after-burn feeling in my mouth more than the popcorn itself.

The pieces being bright red like regular Cheetos made me mad. The bewildering quote on the bag, “Deck the sweets with pops of heat,” made me madder. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “hate” in a review, but I think I hate these. I’m flamin’ hot!

Ok, ok, I’ll calm down. “Why so serious,” and whatnot. I just really wanted these to be something new and exciting.

Like my terrible book, “The Hangman’s Folly,” it was a novel idea with a totally botched execution. I’ll bump it up one for the idea, but this attempt at spicy cinnamon crashed and burned.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 6.5 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 1/4 Cups) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Smoky Ghost Pepper Puffs

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I’ve never been much of one for eating something hot just for the sake of saying I did it. I don’t need a Guatemalan Insanity Pepper to make me feel macho. But I like spicy things. I usually get my Thai food “Thai hot.” I over-wasabi when I eat sushi. A little burn – when correctly applied – makes me feel alive.

While I’ve never had an ACTUAL ghost pepper, the flavor seems to have popped up everywhere over the past year plus. Burger King did an orange-bunned ghost pepper Whopper last October. Arby’s had the Diablo Dare last year, too. And within the past few months, Wendy’s has gotten in on the act with a ghost pepper sandwich and fries.

I’ve had none of these. It’s not because I’m not interested, don’t get me wrong. It’s more like if I’m not eating fast food to review for this site, I’m usually only interested in getting something tried and true. Something I know I’ll enjoy. Like everything else, fast food has gotten too expensive; my metabolism ain’t what it used to be.

The nice thing about the new Flamin’ Hot Smoky Ghost Pepper Cheetos Puffs, however, is that it’s pretty low risk — even if they’re terrible, I’m only out a single Abe Lincoln. And I don’t mind tossing a bag of chips.

(Okay, that’s a lie. I’ll hang on to it for years, slowly nibbling away and also offering them up to unsuspecting guests with a friendly, “Hey, you like to consume food. Would you like a handful of these? How about the whole bag?” Eventually, they’ll grow stale and inedible, at which point I will still have a few pieces at a time for the next three months before I finally pull the trigger on a full expulsion.)

From an appearance standpoint, you know exactly what you’re getting into with these. In addition to being shaped like peppers, they are an aggressively violent shade of red. A slight smoky vinegar aroma wafts up when you open the bag. That artificial smoke flavor is prevalent in the first second of the bite – I was surprised by that and appreciated the layered flavoring – and then the heat immediately sets your tongue on fire. There was no “slow build” here, just immediate and unapologetic mouth-arson.

If you don’t like hot, well… come on. Did you really think you might enjoy these? If you’re someone who doesn’t like chili unless it makes you weep and you end each night with half a pack of Tums, you may be unimpressed. These didn’t make me cry. They were tolerable, but even still, the hottest Cheeto (or chip or cracker) I’ve ever eaten.

Additionally, I enjoyed the fact that these weren’t just novelty-hot. There were nuanced layers of flavor and an appreciable complexity you don’t find in many other “hot” snacks. But still, a little goes a long way, so let’s not be surprised if this bag sees the next presidential election. As long as the other people in my house keep remembering to close the bag up tight, anyway.

Purchased Price: $4.30
Size: 7 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (28 grams) 160 calories, 12 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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