REVIEW: Papa John’s NY Style Pizza

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Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Whole

Papa John’s has been busy lately with a bunch of new offerings, including the Triple Bacon, Shaq-a-Roni, and Epic Stuffed Crust pizzas, all of which earned generally positive reviews from my esteemed colleagues of culinary critique. Now comes the NY Style Pizza, which launched nationwide on December 27 and will be available through March 13, 2022.

I’m sure this will shock you to your core, but no, Papa John’s did not successfully replicate true New York-style pizza. Yes, these are foldable and (somewhat) oversized as Papa John’s advertises, and I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt that it is also hand-stretched as the website claims, even though I was not there to witness that. But if you tried serving this at a pizzeria in New York City, then a brouhaha, fracas and/or kerfuffle would probably ensue. Perhaps even all three.

Usually, my main qualification to do a review on this site is simply that I have a functioning mouth, but in this case, I do bring some pizza credentials. I grew up in New York (actually New Jersey, but we decided long ago as a state that it’s better to just say New York), so I’ve had my share of authentic New York pizza. And now, as a resident of Texas, I’m used to be being both disappointed and amused when I try New York pizza around here. Truthfully, some local joints come reasonably close, and maybe even closer than I give them credit, but I do deduct authenticity points when someone says, “Here’s y’alls pizza.”

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Slice

With that said, this isn’t bad — it is still pizza after all — and it’s a bit better than I thought it would be, especially considering it’s made using the standard Papa John’s crust, sauce, and cheese. To me, the two things that define New York pizza are the crust being both chewy and crispy with a few of those big air bubbles and the cheese having some stretch and snap along with an unhealthy amount of grease/oil.

Papa John’s fared well on the first requirement, and I think they probably did as well as they could using their regular crust, which I’ve always found to be a little too thick and chewy. This pizza fixed both of those issues, and it comes close to the overall thinness of New York pizza. The outer crust doesn’t quite hit the mark as far as the right balance of crisp and chewy, but it did contain a few modest-size air bubbles and faintly reminded me of New York crust.

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Crust

The shortcoming here is the standard Papa John’s cheese, which has very little of the stretchiness, snap, or general oiliness you might get with a New York pizza. The toppings (I went with pepperoni) were plentiful, so bonus points for that, and even though the slices were a little smaller than most New York pizza I’ve had, they did fold quite well.

Papa John s NY Style Crust Pizza Fold

I didn’t expect to get anything close to real New York-style pizza when I ordered this — and I didn’t — but if you temper your expectations based on what a big chain can deliver using its standard ingredients, and you don’t have many other options in your area, then this is a serviceable pie.

Purchased Price: $13 with one topping
Size: Extra-large (16”)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Detailed nutritional information not available on the Papa John’s website, but it does say each cheese slice has 310 calories.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Wendy’s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal

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Kellogg s Wendy s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal Box

I love Wendy’s Classic Chocolate Frosty, but I have no idea how to explain the treat to the uninitiated. With its mild flavor and a texture that will make you doubt your choice of a spoon, try a straw, then realize that’s somehow even worse than the spoon, it almost seems intentionally ambiguous. So, when I saw someone tried to capture its essence in a cereal, I thought I may finally have some answers.

Kellogg’s Wendy’s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal is described on the box as a “chocolate flavored multi-grain cereal with marshmallows.” Hmm, none of Dave Thomas’ secrets revealed there. I opened it up and gave the cereal a whiff. It smelled like a packet of instant hot chocolate, but there was something indescribably Frosty-like about it. There’s that ambiguousness again.

Kellogg s Wendy s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal Dry

I needed to crack this code, so it was time to try each component separately without milk. The cereal had a pleasant cocoa taste, but it was very light on the corn-forward puff. The marshmallow was where things started to get interesting. A bit more cocoa, but notably some vanilla and… some malty goodness? My mind began to race. Have Frostys been malted this whole time?! A quick check of the ingredients on the Wendy’s website showed no mention of malt. Wait, there was no malt in the marshmallow ingredients, either. What the heck was going on?

Kellogg s Wendy s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal Milk

I poured a bowl, added some whole milk, and took a bite. It was exactly what you want from a chocolate cereal but was lacking in Frostyness. I finished the bowl and I took a sip of the leftover milk. I’ll be darned, the milk tasted like a Frosty! How? The marshmallows! I investigated the bag of remaining cereal and noticed many of the little mallows had fallen to the bottom, not making it into my bowl.

I tried again. Marshmallow by marshmallow, I made a more evenly distributed serving (the first time I’ve ever eaten what could be called a balanced breakfast) and followed the box’s advice I had previously ignored. I froze the bowl of cereal for five minutes and ate it with mittens. Well, gloves, because mittens are the worst. Sure enough, it started to taste a little like a Frosty!

Kellogg s Wendy s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal Mittens

Despite the exciting development, it didn’t taste enough like a Frosty and I was left with more questions than answers. If you’re less concerned about such things, it was a somewhat basic but extremely eatable cereal. Chocolatey, a little vanilla-y, a perfectly crunchy yet puffy textured cereal, and just the right amount of sweetness from the marshmallows.

Kellogg s Wendy s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal Box Back

If you’re more concerned about such things, well, I found that a quick internet search will give you the answers to your Frosty questions. But, having done both, I can say eating a whole bunch of Kellogg’s Wendy’s Frosty Chocolatey Cereal in the hopes of finding them is a lot more fun.

Purchased Price: $4.29 (on sale, originally $4.49)
Size: 8.3 oz box
Purchased at: Shaw’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/2 cups without milk) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 17 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Spicy Cluck Sandwich and Blazin Cluck Sandwich

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Jack in the Box Spicy Cluck Sandwich Full

What are the Jack in the Box Spicy Cluck Sandwich and Blazin Cluck Sandwich?

Let’s have Jack’s website explain what the former is.

Jack’s Spice Squad has rated our new Spicy Cluck Sandwich as certified perfection. It’s a bigger, crispier and better-than-ever perfectly spicy, breaded fillet, topped with Jack’s Good Good Sauce, crunchy pickle chips, on a toasty brioche bun. But it doesn’t take an expert to know it’s the perfect amount of spice. You’ll know.

Jack in the Box Blazin Cluck Sandwich Full

As for the Blazin Cluck Sandwich, instead of Jack’s Good Good Sauce (which seems to be The Condiment Formerly Known As Mystery Sauce), it has Jack’s Spicy Good Good Sauce. Basically, the Spicy one doesn’t have a spicy sauce, just a spicy fillet.

Are we good?

Good.

Sauce.

How are they?

Well, I’m not going to believe the “certified perfection” that Jack’s Spice Squad claims its Spicy Cluck Sandwich has achieved because if it’s “perfection,” why is there a second, spicier version of it?

Jack in the Box Spicy Cluck Sandwich Split

As for that “bigger, crispier and better-than-ever perfectly spicy, breaded fillet,” it’s not what I’d consider perfectly spicy. There’s a scant amount of heat, and I think Jack’s regular spicy chicken sandwich was spicier. But the breading on this is crispier, and it seems to be slightly bigger.

The fillet’s lack of heat is really noticeable with the Spicy Cluck Sandwich. The regular Good Good Sauce dampens the breading’s spiciness enough that you might think you’re eating an original Cluck Sandwich.

Jack in the Box Blazin Cluck Sandwich Pickles

However, with the Blazin version, the darker orange Spicy Good Good Sauce turns the heat up several notches while preserving the regular sauce’s tangy and peppery flavors. Granted, if it’s on a 10-point scale, we’re going from a one to a three or four. It’s a mild heat, but it’s not at a level where I felt the need for a cold beverage. Also, it doesn’t help that the pickle’s tanginess cuts through the spiciness.

Jack in the Box Blazin Cluck Sandwich Split

The chicken’s coating could’ve had more heat, but I enjoyed these two as much as the original Cluck Sandwich. Although, with the Spicy one, it’s because it pretty much tastes like the original. While the Blazin one isn’t, you know, blazing, I’m okay with it being that way because it has the perfect amount of spice, thanks to the sauce. It’s spicy, but not so much that it takes away from its flavors.

Anything else you need to know?

Jack in the Box Blazin Cluck Sandwich No Apostrophe

I’m slightly surprised the Blazin version didn’t come with jalapeños or an apostrophe. But I can understand why. The pickled peppers would’ve overwhelmed the sauce’s flavor and heat, while the punctuation mark would’ve hurt Jack’s cred with the cool kids.

There are also Deluxe versions of both menu items that swap the pickles for Swiss-style cheese, onion rings, and bacon.

Conclusion:

If you’ve been waiting for a spicy version of Jack’s Cluck Sandwich, your wait is over. But, if you want to feel any heat, go for the Blazin Cluck Sandwich.

Purchased Price: $6.39 each*
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Spicy), 8 out of 10 (Blazin)
Nutrition Facts: Numbers not available at publication time.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie

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Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Wrapper

What is Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie?

As the smoke finally clears from the drawn-out and bloated chicken sandwich wars that it started, Popeyes has set its sight on something many of its competitors already offer — chocolate chip cookies. Chick-fil-A, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, and even KFC, all who were challenged by Popeyes’ titan of a chicken sandwich in 2019, have all offered cookies for years, and this time it’s Popeyes showing up fashionably late to the party.

How is it?

What set Popeyes’ chicken sandwich apart from the rest was its hand-breaded freshness. While I know it’s a fast food sandwich, it still felt like a step above the price point and an experience that lived up to and exceeded the hype.

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Top

It’s with that mindset that I was immediately let down when handed a chocolate chip cookie inside of a cellophane bag, clearly not baked on-site and far from fresh.

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Split

Maybe my expectations for Popeyes are too high, but this cookie tastes about as generic and nondescript as you can imagine. The base has a typical brown sugar and vanilla flavor with a less than desirable amount of semi-sweet chocolate chips throughout. It’s a bit dry and crumbly, not stale per se but a far cry from the soft and fresh texture of a place like Subway. This cookie isn’t awful, but for such a late entrant into the cookie space, it’s wholly unremarkable.

Anything else you need to know?

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Bottom

Did this cookie come from Safeway? Costco? KFC? If I didn’t walk into Popeyes and buy it with my own two hands, I would never be able to tell — it’s the definition of underwhelming and basic.

Conclusion:

For a chain that delivers an apple pie with a legitimately crispy crunchy fried outer shell and pulled off freshly fried chocolate-filled beignets, this cookie feels like the definition of an afterthought and not one worthy of capping off a meal that starts with Popeyes’ fantastic sandwich.

Purchased Price: 79 cents
Size: One Cookie
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 190 calories, 08grams of fat, 5 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Popeyes Homestyle Mac & Cheese

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Popeyes Homestyle Mac Cheese Bowl

Popeyes, widely regarded as the champion of fast food fried chicken, has a new and improved Homestyle Mac & Cheese.

Did you know it had an old and un-improved Homestyle Mac & Cheese? I sure didn’t. See, the thing is, I’ve never been able to bring myself to order anything other than the red beans and rice or the mashed potatoes with cajun gravy. And this is odd because, as a human person, I love macaroni and cheese. I even love macaroni and cheese from other fast-food chicken places. It is one of my go-to sides when I end up at KFC, where I gladly consume it despite the fact that it tastes inexplicably chlorinated.

But Popeyes nails it on chicken, chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches, biscuits, and the aforementioned sides, so why WOULDN’T it make a magnificent mac & cheese, too?

Well, they do.

Popeyes website boasts that its new noodle dish is “made with real butter and cream and topped with shredded cheddar cheese,” and this story checks out. The noodles themselves are perfectly cooked — soft and tender but not mushy. And there is plenty of cheese — a mild, creamy cheese that lovingly coats each noodle and the sharper, chewy cheddar that hides in pockets throughout the bowl.

Popeyes Homestyle Mac Cheese Spoon

It is a rich dish — likely owing to the real butter and cream — but not so rich that you won’t be able to eat the whole thing in like, 90 seconds and then go, “Dammit, Brandon, why did you eat the whole thing? Can’t you exercise more restraint than that?”

Despite the adulation, I do have two quibbles with this delectable side.

The first is that the texture is very one-note. And I get it, I do, this is mac & cheese, which is, by and large, a creamy, soft dish. But you know what elevates a very good mac & cheese to a great mac & cheese? A crunchy top. You know, breadcrumbs or what have you. You get a bit of textural differentiation because of the melted shredded cheddar, but it’s not enough to break up the monotony in your mouth. (Which again, I assure you, isn’t enough to keep you from wanting to consume an industrial barrel’s worth of this stuff.)

Second, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now when I get a meal and have to choose two sides. My gut says to alternate between the red beans and rice, mashed potatoes, and the new mac & cheese like a responsible adult. However, the fat kid who lives in my brain says, “GET ‘EM ALL, BUDDY. IT’S THE FUTURE. YOU CAN JUST 3D-PRINT SOME NEW ARTERIES.”

God bless technology, and god bless this macaroni and cheese.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Regular
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 22 grams of fat, 13.5 grams of saturated fat, 0.6 grams of trans fat, 609 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

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