REVIEW: Pizza Hut Oven-Baked Pastas

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Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas All Four

As four distinct variants that nonetheless have many key characteristics in common, I like to think of Pizza Hut’s new line of Oven-Baked Pastas as quadruplets. Each flavor has a unique personality, but they share two crucial features, perfectly smooth penne pasta and a top layer of thick, baked-ziti-esque cheese. Two are adorned with Alfredo sauce, two don a sweet red sauce, and all four are delicious in their own ways. Serving size-wise, one order of any of these pastas would make a good meal for one person – maybe even with leftovers if all that cheese is too much for you! – but the portion is so filling that I can definitely see it as a shareable appetizer/side/snack too.

Cheesy Alfredo

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Cheesy Alfredo

I worried this might pale in comparison to the chickened version; it turns out I needn’t have. This pasta was swimming in a gooey, creamy, downright decadent copious sea of sauce so bright white it looked positively pristine. (Though I am slightly confused how such a wonderful garlicky flavor could come from something whose handy-dandy online ingredients list only notes garlic under “Contains less than 2% of the following.”) Our friends at Pizza Hut were not kidding when they dubbed this one “cheesy,” and I’d say swapping meat for all that extra dairy is a worthy tradeoff.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Cheesy Alfredo Closeup

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 880 calories, 48 grams of fat, 31 grams of saturated fat, 1,180 milligrams of sodium, 84 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

Chicken Alfredo

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Chicken Alfredo

If anything, the poultry felt paltry compared to its queso’d cousin. I described the cheesy Alfredo sauce as “gooey,” but the same can’t be said here, with the sauce relegated from main attraction to mere sidekick. The ostensible star of the show, that chicken, packs a hefty herbal aftertaste that I couldn’t immediately put a finger on, but apparently is courtesy of dried parsley. However, its distribution in my batch was sort of spotty —- some bites came with a dime-sized dollop, some with more like a silver dollar, and most with no chicken at all.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Chicken Alfredo Closeup

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 930 calories, 49 grams of fat, 32 grams of saturated fat, 1,340 milligrams of sodium, 85 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.

Italian Meats

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Italian Meats

The main meat in mind is sausage, and Pizza Hut’s offering is a perfect fast food specimen; chunky, juicy, zesty, and abnormally (like, almost scarily) tender. Because this is Italian meats, not Italian meat, I should also mention the presence of pepperoni. But, hidden directly under the cheesy coating, it was pretty handily obscured both visually and taste-wise. I also need to take a moment to appreciate the sweet red sauce, so pleasantly mild and yet so simply tasty that it felt like a hug for my mouth. I usually find pasta with red sauce a little boring, but this was more than enough to hold my interest.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Italian Meats Closeup

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 860 calories, 37 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1,640 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 17 grams of sugar, and 36 grams of protein.

Veggie

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Veggie

I liked this one more than I expected. I mean, not more than I liked any of the others, but still! The toppings were kind of random (sure, green bell pepper, black olives, and “diced Roma tomato” are pretty normal to find in a pasta separately, but all of them at once?), yet they mingled well. That gently sweet sauce and rich cheese were perked up by the refreshing pepper, which also provided a texturally delightful snap, while the tomato offered a surprisingly intense and unsurprisingly delicious burst of flavor, and the olives… well, I could have done without them, but their flavor was subtler and less briny than I typically fear, and I must give them credit for adding some nice umami undertones.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Veggie Closeup

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 640 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1,170 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Breadsticks

If you’re still not convinced to give one — or all! — of these a try, I should also mention that each comes with an order of breadsticks. Yes, that means that in the course of writing this review, I acquired twenty breadsticks, so if you need me, I’ll be busy trying not to devour them all in one sitting.

Purchased Price: $8.99 each

REVIEW: Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza

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Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Whole

“Over 100 crispy Old World Pepperonis.”

I muttered that to myself while wiping the grease off my fingers. Another 10 counted. Another tally mark. I certainly questioned my sanity a few times over the counting process. It looked to be over a hundred, so why not just make up some random number? Nay, dear readers. This site has the utmost integrity, and if Little Caesars claimed over 100 pepperonis, we’re going to fact-check it for you.

The Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza is the current specialty item from the pizza chain. Claiming to be covered in over 100 crispy old world pepperonis, this large pizza is a step up from the chain’s regular pepperoni pizza. Old world pepperoni is fairly different from the standard stuff in several ways. It’s cut thicker, which is one of the causes for its signature curl and cup shape after cooking. It’s also made with natural casings and a different fermentation process to give us a richer, spicier flavor. My introduction to them has only happened within the last few years, and I adore them.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Slice

So it was a no-brainer that I would try Little Caesars’ take on my favorite little grease cups. At first look, the pizza didn’t quite get the “all the way to the edge” pepperoni coverage as advertised. In fact, it was a messy looking pizza. I tried a slice before the great count began (there were 11 of them) to make sure I tasted it as intended. The old world slices were perfect: a little spicy, rich, greasy, and crispy around the edges.

The higher quality pepperonis really elevated the entire experience. Little Caesars pizza tends to be a few levels above frozen pizza for me (sorry, devotees), but the higher-end topping made it feel more luxurious. I wouldn’t have guessed I was eating a Little Caesars pizza. The crust, sauce, and cheese don’t stand out as particularly good or bad. They’re merely a vehicle for the over 100 pepperonis.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Mountain

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Bare

Now, the thing I’m sure some of you have been scanning for: The total I got was…(drum roll) 111! There is a margin of error of +/- 3 pepperonis thanks to my husband’s sneaky little fingers, but I’m confident in it being over the promised 100 slices.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Total

While I enjoyed this offering from Little Caesars, I want to emphasize the old world style pepperoni is the predominant flavor and overshadows the rest of the pizza’s ingredients. The grease level is pretty high (I mean, 111 slices will do that), and it might be too much for some. I’m already planning to order it again (let’s see if I can get it on the Detroit-style crust), but my old world pepperoni quota will be fulfilled for a bit after that.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: Large
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/8 pizza) 378 calories, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 44 milligrams of cholesterol, 863 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake

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Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake

This is what Jack in the Box’s mobile app says about its new Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake, “It’s the best of both worlds – our rich old-fashioned chocolate shake with fan-favorite Oreo cookie crumbles mixed in and topped off with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. You don’t have to thank us for this game changer, but you’re welcome to.”

Game changer, huh?

It’s a chocolate shake with Oreo cookie crumbles in it. “Game changer” is a bit hyperbolic. If this shake is a game changer, then this sentence is the greatest sentence that uses the word “sentence” three times.

Look, if the whipped topping was also chocolate flavored or chocolate mousse, and if the maraschino cherry was chocolate coated, then it might be a “game changer” and worthy of the title “ultimate.” But what’s on top is just the standard white whipped topping and bright red cherry that come with Jack’s other shakes.

Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake Spoon

With that said, the Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake is as satisfying as Jack’s regular Oreo shake. The combination is a no-brainer, and it tastes exactly how you’d expect — chocolatey with little pops (and crunch) of darker chocolate from the cookie crumbles.

Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake Topping

Like the word “ultimate” in this menu item’s name, the cherry is also unnecessary. I know it completes the whole shake experience and adds some color to the white whipped topping, but do you know what else would’ve added some color on this particular shake? More Oreo crumbles. As for the whipped topping’s contribution, it somewhat dilutes the flavors of the two headliners, and if I get this shake again, I’ll omit it.

Jack in the Box’s Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake is a perfectly fine dessert but isn’t the most imaginative idea, and it’s not a changer of games. If it came topped with Jack’s Chocolate Overload Cake, it would be the ultimate chocolate shake, and if it came with a couple of Jack’s mini churros lounging at the edge of the cup, that would be a game changer.

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: Regular
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 790 calories – full nutrition facts unavailable.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Top

What is it?

The Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard is the August Blizzard of the Month, and Dairy Queen says it’s the first time ever that its signature treat contains five flavors, even if the math is a little fuzzy, as I’ll explain. This doesn’t contain pulverized Reese’s Take 5 bars but instead mimics the candy with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, caramel topping, peanuts, and pretzel pieces.

How is it?

It’s a touch disappointing if I’m being honest, and I don’t mess around with dishonesty when I’m talking about Blizzards. Before trying this, I was certain it would land at or near the top of my list of all-time favorites, but it comes up a little short.

Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Spoon

For me, there’s just a bit too much going on, and perhaps that’s why DQ has never put five ingredients in a Blizzard. And I’m not even counting this as five flavors anyway. In an actual Take 5 bar, there are five parts, as the milk chocolate lovingly embraces and surrounds the pretzels, peanuts, peanut butter, and caramel, while this Blizzard uses peanut butter cups. Yes, I know PB cups contain peanut butter and chocolate, but for reasons I can’t articulate fully, I just can’t count that as two things.

As for how this tastes, the peanut butter flavor gets lost in the mix, which doesn’t quite seem right for something branded as Reese’s. The pretzels do give it a nice salty component to offset the sweetness, but again, the pretzel taste is hard to distinguish as the pieces have the same kind of crunch as the peanuts. And stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the caramel flavor is somewhat sparse because it’s fighting for attention against all its Take 5 friends. The four (or five) ingredients still combine for a pleasant taste experience, but instead of being distinctive, it’s almost more generic, like it should just be called a chocolatey peanutty Blizzard.

Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Dig

Anything else you need to know?

I guess I haven’t followed candy bar branding closely in recent years because I didn’t realize that this bar was simply called TAKE5 until the “Reese’s” name was added in 2019. Also, Hershey’s needs to hire a proofreader for its website because on the same page, it alternates between a space and no space in TAKE 5 (and the DQ website doesn’t use all caps, so I have no idea what the official name really is). Regardless, Hershey’s has said that the peanut butter in the bar has always been Reese’s since it debuted in 2004.

Conclusion:

Even if you ignore the minor mathematical issues with this Blizzard, it doesn’t quite add up to a perfect 10. It’s good — actually very good — but it’s a classic case of more is not always better.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 770 calories, 34 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor

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Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Cup

Fanta recently unveiled a new line of mystery flavored beverages that are designed to “fool senses and challenge tastebuds with opposite flavor notes.” Read: Fanta is trying to screw with you. Some flavors are appearing in 20-ounce bottles and others are in Coke Freestyle machines or in frozen form at various restaurants. I like to confuse my mouth as much as the next person so I picked up a Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Drink and proceeded to, as the ads put it, “Taste the Unknown.”

Yup, I’m definitely tasting the unknown. It’s a familiar sort of unknown that makes me think I can place it but at the same time, I can’t make a guess with any real confidence. When I ordered, the manager told me it was great and showed me his almost empty cup of the green stuff as proof he drinks it himself. I asked if he had a guess as to the flavor and he offered up “maybe lime something?”

Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Top

Mine started out perfectly frozen and a light green reminiscent of the daytime color of objects that glow in the dark. It didn’t smell like much at first and tasted fruity but also kind of creamy. These melt fast and the flavor seems to change as they do. After an initial several sips where I thought I should know the flavor but couldn’t put a name to it I began to think it might be strawberry banana. That’s a combination I only know from eating it in the form of Trix yogurt approximately twice as a child because I hate bananas and would never seek out anything flavored like them. That being said, the banana here (if it’s here at all?) isn’t overwhelming or enough to make me dislike it.

Sticking my nose in the cup after about half had turned to liquid gave me a totally different smell, it was heavier on the vanilla and creamy, maybe even sort of caramely notes. Maybe it’s a strawberry banana cream pie? With a little lime and I don’t know…kiwi? Do I even know what a kiwi tastes like? I feel like maybe when they reveal what this mystery flavor is it could be a fruit I’ve never tasted. Jackfruit! Wasn’t that having a moment a while ago? Jackfruit Shortcake is my official guess based on absolutely nothing.

Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Sign

To sum up, this tastes like something that would happen when you mix four flavors at the Slurpee machine but have strategically chosen the flavors in the hopes they won’t clash with one another. It’s a good but not amazing drink and one that I don’t think most people would find objectionable even if they aren’t into the whole “mystery” concept and would rather know what they’re tasting. If you think mystery flavors are fun this one should keep you guessing because I’ve seen people say it tasted like everything from caramel apple to key lime pie and at the price of only $1 it makes for some refreshing summer entertainment.

Purchased Price: $1.11
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 44 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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