REVIEW: Arby’s Cinnamon Roll Fried Pie

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Rule #1 of being a junk food fan: when you hear that a test product is available in your area, you give it a try. Further down on the list of rules: enjoy that product while it’s hot, especially if you are cold. Both tenets recently led me to Arby’s to check out its Cinnamon Roll Fried Pie. The test product, a fried pastry with cinnamon filling, is available at select locations for a limited time. (The chain released a similar offering — a Strawberries and Cream variety — last year.)

It feels appropriate that Arby’s would test this new dessert in my region because March marks the longest stage of my city’s annual Seemingly Endless Winter. As spring eludes us, we layer our socks, aggressively moisturize, and steel ourselves for the inevitable spring snowstorm that, like a horror movie villain, pops up for one last scare just as you think the worst is over. To survive, we need comfort food, and with this new test product, Arby’s has aimed to create a glorious trifecta of warmth and coziness: pie, fried food, and cinnamon.

Ultimately, Arby’s Cinnamon Roll Fried Pie does justice to each component of the trifecta. The fried turnover-style pastry is the crispy, crunchy star of the dessert. It is golden brown, rife with tiny air bubbles that come from the high frying temperature, and practically shatters with crispiness at the surface. Beneath the initial crunch, the dough is thin, tender, and soft, without a hint of sogginess or oily residue.

The cinnamon roll filling is flavorful and generous. I tasted a good amount of the sweetly spiced stuff in every bite. The texture surprised and mystified me. I was expecting some amount of gooey drippage, which I admit sounds more like a symptom of the cold you catch during Seemingly Endless Winter. But any cinnamon roll fan knows the stuff: the sugary, melted butter that gets absorbed within the roll’s thick, spiraling dough. The filling in this fried pie, however, reminds me of the filling before it gets baked: thick and moist, but still closer to a soft, shaggy paste in texture.

I wish I knew the recipe for the filling, but like a proud grandmother protecting her culinary secrets, Arby’s has not released that information. I’m curious as to how the filling maintains its body without feeling heavy. Ingredients I’d expect to find in a cinnamon roll, like the usual butter or cream cheese frosting suspects, don’t seem to contribute to the filling’s taste or texture. While it does taste like a cinnamon roll’s coveted center, the filling’s flavor is also a little one-note. A streak of icing might have added an extra dimension to the not-too-sweet pie.

Arby’s Cinnamon Roll Fried Pie is an inexpensive, pocket-sized treat that hits the spot, especially if you gobble it down for a warming treat at the end of a long, frigid day. Its appeal certainly extends into warmer months because, as yet another junk food rule dictates, fried stuff is comforting year-round. If this Fried Pie makes Arby’s official menu, it may become a new favorite.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks to reader Dorothy for letting us know about this test item in the Erie, PA area and for the signage photo at the beginning of the review.)

Purchased Price: $1.79
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at time of publishing.

REVIEW: Papa Johns Crispy Parm Pizza

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Cheese pizza is the most underrated item in the fast food world. Often looked at as “plain” or “boring,” cheese pizza’s perfection is in its simplicity. While I do enjoy various toppings on pizza as well as “creative” offerings, it’s nice to do a palate cleanse once in a while. Papa Johns’ new Crispy Parm Pizza seems like a perfect chance for my taste buds to hit the reset button.

The menu item takes Papa Johns’ thin crust and adds a layer of toasted parmesan cheese to the bottom. As someone who has thrown shredded cheese into a hot pan to make a crispy cheese bite on more than one occasion, I was very into this idea. You can order it with up to one topping, but I am pleased to have stuck with just cheese.

Driving home, the unmistakable smell of parmesan filled my little Ford Focus. It made me all the more excited to try the item. Visually, it was a standard issue-looking cheese pizza. I immediately flipped a slice over to look at the crispy parmesan on the bottom. There was a fairly decent amount adorning the crust’s underside. It was, however, not super crisp to the touch. I had hoped it would have a more crispy bite when trying it, but that wasn’t the case.

My first taste confirmed that the “crisp” parmesan doesn’t really add any textural difference to the item. I think once the pizza gets put in the box, the parmesan loses its crispness from the heat reflecting off the cardboard. But it does add a lot of flavor to the pizza, working well with the sweet red sauce and salty mozzarella to deliver a satisfying slice.

While I was disappointed the item didn’t fully live up to its name, I still enjoyed it. Papa Johns’ Crispy Parm Pizza has all the makings of a really good pizza, but it just trips a bit at the finish line. I think if you have the time (i.e., aren’t planning to immediately eat it when you bring it home), throwing it in the oven on a sheet pan might crisp up the bottom more. That sort of defeats the purpose of bringing home pizza for dinner, but it might be worth the extra step.

Purchased Price: $12.99
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice) 260 calories, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 650 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Classic and Spicy Slaw Wraps

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This ain’t KFC’s first wrap rodeo.

See, a long time ago — close to 20 years ago, in fact — the Colonel (or a zombie approximation of the Colonel OR some marketers in the R&D department) created the Twister. It was a tortilla stuffed with chicken strips, lettuce, tomatoes, sauce, and shredded cheese.

There were different versions of it — a rendition featuring BBQ sauce and one that featured a spicy sauce. Then there was one with mac and cheese inside, too. Then the Twisters became “burritos” at some point, and then maybe they reverted back to Twisters again? I don’t know. It all gets fuzzy. Anyway, they went away in the States but remained (and remain) on the menu at some international locations, exotic locales like New Zealand and Canada.

And now they’re back in the United States… at least temporarily.

But okay, they’re smaller. Remember the beloved McDonald’s Snack Wrap that went away in 2016 much to the dismay of nearly everyone? I think these are about the same size. So if you’re hungry, you’re gonna want to do the two-wrap combo with a side and a drink. Or maybe just the wrap pair, which is being sold 2 for $5 at most places throughout the country. Then you can pair them at home with a bowl of applesauce, a handful of Pringles, or whatever it is that people who don’t buy sides at fast food places do.

Let’s back up, though — are these even worth $2.50 a piece?

Well, like most things in the fast food world, a lot is contingent on the freshness of the ingredients. I got to the KFC nearest me shortly after opening, so the strips were freshly made. They were good, too, crunchy but not at all dry, with the familiar 11 herbs and spices. The tortillas were bland but serviceable, no different than what you’d find at Taco Bell. The pickles were sour and crunchy, not up to par with Popeyes, but considerably better than the ones you get at McDonald’s. The mayo on the original wrap “split” because of the hot chicken, so it didn’t add much. The sauce on the spicy wrap, though, fared better. If you’ve never had it (I’m fairly certain it’s the spicy sauce they’ve used on sandwiches before), it’s like a very mild chipotle mayo, but maybe just a bit sweeter.

What really sets the spicy wrap apart, however, was the slaw. While I don’t usually indulge in the Colonel’s cabbage (why would you when you can have the artificially-delicious mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, or the surprisingly good French fries), the sweet crunch it lent to the wrap made it significantly better than its slaw-less brother. Additionally, I was surprised at how sog-free the chicken remained; truly, this wrap fired on all cylinders.

While many will hold these up — perhaps unfairly — against the aforementioned McDonald’s wraps, or KFC’s original Twister, two of these things for $5 isn’t a bad deal at all. Hopefully, they stick around for a while.

Purchased Price: 2/$5
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Original), 8 out of 10 (Spicy)
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable as of publishing, though the website has “800-900 calories” for the pair.

REVIEW: Domino’s Loaded Tots

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The only thing I like as much as pizza is non-pizza products from pizza places, so Domino’s new Loaded Tots had me tantalized. There are three topping variants, but I started by pulling off one naked tot, which was standard, but well-executed fare -– salty, starchy, with an impressively crisp exterior and fluffy interior. Onto the true taste test!

Melty 3-Cheese

It was unsettling to see so many pitch-black burnt bits of cheese along the edges, but the majority of the tots were coated in a more palatable shade of white/orange cheese blend. The prominent sharpness of cheddar was accompanied more mellowly by the creaminess of mozzarella and tanginess of provolone, a tasty cheesefest.

In mine, most of the cheese had settled to the bottom and congealed into a thick slab that the tots were resting on top of. This slab apparently also included Alfredo sauce, but I can’t say that the flavor shined through. In any case, the dense bed of solidified cheese actually was a positive for me since it avoided the classic problem of tot toppings falling off and scattering (though it did mean I ended up barbarian-ishly tearing off chunks with my hands rather than eating with a fork as I’d more civilly intended).

Cheddar Bacon

These tots looked very similar to the Melty 3-Cheese, so much so that I wondered if I’d accidentally been given two orders of the same thing. Upon closer examination, I was able to distinguish some fattier bacon strips. But most of the bacon came in the form of crispy bits with a color, size, and shape that were really similar to the dollops of charred melted cheese. (Though there was also an intense bacon-y smell that helped me differentiate.)

The topping – which combined said bacon with our old friends mozzarella and cheddar, as well as a garlic Parmesan sauce – was still quite congealed but more successful at perching atop the tots. Despite not being the most visually distinct, the bacon packed quite a punch taste-wise, giving this flavor a meatier, smokier quality, with some yummy complexity added by the garlic sauce.

Philly Cheesesteak

This variant definitely looked the most photogenic, laden with an even-less-congealed version of the same mozzarella and cheddar combo as the Cheddar Bacon, plus Alfredo sauce, slabs of onion, slices of green pepper, and thin strips of steak that are described on the website as “tender.” I’d agree… but only when it comes to the centers, as the edges of the steak strips were as blackened as the aforementioned burnt cheese edges.

On their own, the ingredients tasted great – the peppers zesty, the onions sweet with a nice zing, the steak rich, and the cheese/sauce mixture as appealing as it was in the other two Loaded Tots. But taken all together, they became oddly indistinguishable to me, with all the elements canceling each other out to result in an amalgamation that was intensely savory but ultimately ambiguous.

These were all equally pretty good, but I still doubt I’d order any of them again. Loaded tots are a nice novel way to combine carbs, cheese, meat, sauce, and vegetables, but come on! If you’re already set on ordering from Domino’s, pizza would be a much more satisfying way to get your flavorful fix.

Purchased Price: $6.99 each
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (¼ an order) Melty 3-Cheese – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 510 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, and 6 grams of protein. Cheddar Bacon – 240 calories, 16 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 590 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Philly Cheese Steak – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 530 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Slices-N-Stix Bacon

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I am so glad the holidays are over. I enjoy all the specialness around the holidays, but the disruption to my routine year after year gets harder. If anything positive comes from the interruption, it’s that I can look at aspects of my routines and objectively decide if they are worth bringing into the new year. Our Pizza Saturdays made the cut without question. It started as an easy meal to throw in the oven after a long day of cleaning, but has become one we look forward to.

While we normally stick with frozen pizza, we decided to get Little Caesars’ Slices-N-Stix Bacon Pizza for our first Pizza Saturday in months. It isn’t an entirely new item (Slices-N-Stix has been on/off the menu since 2020), but this variation sees bacon added to the Italian Cheese Stix side. The basic idea behind the menu item is that you get the best of both worlds: half is a traditional pepperoni pizza, and the other is eight cheese sticks.

Ordering was a breeze through the app, but picking up was a bit of an ordeal. I’ll spare you the details, but I will say it’s always a good idea to check your food. Honestly, I don’t blame the employees for messing up, considering the item sounds like the pizza side should have bacon, but I am glad they fixed it quickly.

Little Caesars is at its best when it sticks with simple, and this item exemplifies that. The pepperoni pizza side is the standard Little Caesars recipe. It had been a while since I had one, and I genuinely enjoyed it. However, the star of the item was the Stix side. The bacon bits had gotten crispy during the cooking process, which added a nice textural difference to the soft cheesy Stix. The bacon also added an enjoyable smokey flavor. I think my overall favorite aspect was how it was the perfect amount for two people. We each had two slices and four Stix to enjoy.

The only criticism I have was the level of grease that seemed to come from the bacon cheese Stix side of the item. It certainly didn’t stop me from eating them, but I’m sure the addition of the bacon increased the grease levels significantly.

The Little Caesars Slices-N-Stix Bacon Pizza was a nice departure from our regular frozen pizza. I had worried that having half pizza/half stix would mean less quality with both, but it proved to be quite delicious. Honestly, I was impressed enough that we’ll make it a once-a-month treat going forward (as long as Little Caesars makes it). While I like familiarity and consistency with my foods, it is nice to shake it up every now and then.

Purchased Price: $7.99
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice of pizza, 2 breadsticks) 623 calories, 29 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 59 milligrams of cholesterol, 1373 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein.

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