REVIEW: Papa Johns Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza

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Papa Johns Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza Whole

When Papa Johns showed up fashionably late to the stuffed crust pizza party in December of 2020, it may not have been timely, but it certainly arrived with a splash. The somewhat silly-titled “Epic Stuffed Crust” was no different than what Pizza Hut innovated in 1995, and yet, in my humble but experienced opinion, the Papa beat the Hut at its own game.

As a child of the 90s, the stuffed crust is an ever-shining beacon of culinary genius and one that will keep Pizza Hut in my heart forever. But its quality has gone so downhill in recent years that I never go there unless it’s to try a new unique item, unlike Papa Johns, which I keep on speed dial. For its third iteration of the Epic Stuffed Crust, Papa makes the pizza even more Papa-ified by incorporating the signature garlic sauce that makes it stand out amongst the other chains. It’s an Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza with a garlic parmesan seasoned and drizzled crust, original pizza sauce, melty cheese, and your choice of one topping, which comes standard as pepperoni.

Papa Johns Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza Crust

This review is pretty straightforward – if you like Papa John’s Stuffed Crust and its Special Garlic Dipping Sauce, you’ll like this pie. In fact, I only have two gripes with this pizza.

  1. I just moved to a denser and crazier part of the city where, for some reason, the one topping promotion is $20.99 instead of $13.99, so it cost more than I expected.
  2. I wish there was more garlic.

Papa Johns Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza Cheese

This is a cheesy, indulgent, downright delicious, and addictive pizza that very well might be my favorite iteration of Papa John’s best-in-class stuffed crust, but it isn’t all that garlicky. The seasoning on the crust is excellent and does very well to elevate the epic-ness of having tons of perfectly ooey gooey cheese in the crust, but it leans much more into the parmesan than the garlic for a nice crunchy umami bite that’s wonderful, but not garlicky.

Papa Johns Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust Pizza Slice

The toppings at Papa Johns have always seemed like the freshest and most abundant of all the mainstream chains, which is why it has been my favorite for over a decade. The sauce is sweet yet robust, the cheese has a nice dense flavor, and the pepperoni brings a nice crispiness and a hint of spice. Speaking of which, any time you’re ordering a pizza from a chain like this, make sure to get it well done. You’re very rarely, if ever, going to get a burnt pie, but these places crank out so many pizzas at such a fast rate they may pull it when it’s a touch underdone, and requesting well done, like I did, will ensure you get a properly cooked and delicious pizza.

While this could use some actual diced garlic like you’d find on garlic knots to really bring the concept home, it’s still an absolutely delicious pie that’s, without a doubt, my favorite new fast food item this year. Plus, if you’re getting this for $14 instead of $21 like my unfortunate metropolitan-dwelling self, it’s a helluva deal, and I’d grab it while you can.

Purchased Price: $20.99 (but should be $13.99 in your area)
Size: Large 1 Topping
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice) 420 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Shredded Beef Grilled Cheese Dipping Taco

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Have you heard about this new lawsuit against Taco Bell?

Some dude is suing the company because he says it deceives customers, stating the product is nothing like the advertising. I just wanna go on record right now that I am NOT the dude suing Taco Bell… despite the photos that will follow.

Look, I adore Taco Bell. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, “¡Yo quiero Taco Bell,” so I was obviously gonna try its new birria-inspired Shredded Beef Grilled Cheese Dipping Taco no matter what.

On the surface, the SBGCDT sounds great – a hard-shelled taco with a three-cheese blend of cheddar, mozzarella, and pepper jack baked on the outside. Inside you get braised shredded beef, a creamy jalapeño sauce, and more cheese for good measure. And if that’s not enough, it comes with two dipping sauces — nacho cheese and “red sauce.” How could you go wrong?

Well, I won’t mince words; my taco was an absolute crime scene. It was the messiest thing I’ve ever had at Taco Bell, and I’ve eaten the horrendously overrated Mexican Pizza.

There was only cheese on one side of the shell, and about five tacos worth of sauce blasted inside, which completely ruined the integrity of the entire thing. For something called a “dipping taco,” I had a really hard time picking it up, let alone dipping it.

I’m not one to complain (lol), and the (very nice) employees had a lunch rush to deal with, so I just soldiered on. I figured it looks bad, but I bet it still tastes good… and ya know what? It did, for the most part. You can literally see the lowlights, so I’ll focus on the highlights.

The birria-style shredded beef was excellent. It was seasoned well, super tender, and not even a little bit stringy. If it becomes a menu staple, I’m customizing all my meals going forward with shredded beef. The half-cheesed shell was limp, but I dig the general idea. It’s like a Cheesy Gordita Crunch without the outer soft tortilla.

There’s an epidemic in our society with over-saucing everything, and this jalapeño cream sauce went way beyond that. While it has a nice, slightly spicy kick, it needed to just be a dollop. Better yet, it should have been the dipper in place of nacho cheese, which is completely redundant.

The red sauce is really just a vague taco sauce, but I liked the consistency, which was similar to a thin spiced-up tomato bisque. It was actually a good “dip.”

I’m a little baffled by the concept in the sense that even if mine was clean and compact, it’s just a taco. That doesn’t seem like the right delivery system for a “dipper.” I get dipping taquitos, but an entire taco?

Assuming I got a properly constructed taco, I’d still toss this overall concept in the upper “mid” category. The grilled cheese taco shell and the pulled beef were both winning ideas. This isn’t the first time Taco Bell has done either of those things, but it should become a standard… just take it easy with the sauce.

I decided to rate this on taste and ignore the presentation. It was an absolute disaster to look at and a huge pain to eat, but I’d still rank it a “Hot” on the Taco Bell sauce chart. Sue me.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Sonic Buffalo Chicken Dip Bites

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I have always been a snack fiend. I tried to be a more “three square meals” person, but it didn’t really stick. Instead of fighting it, I’ve accepted it and embraced it. When I opened the Sonic app to order a drink, a screen showing its new Buffalo Chicken Dip Bites came up. Seeing the picture of the tiny empanada-looking snack, I immediately added them to my order.

Sonic recently added the Buffalo Chicken Dip Bites as a limited time item. Each piece is a crispy fried pocket filled with cheddar cheese, Buffalo sauce, and chicken. By default, you are given a cup of ranch to dip them in, and they are available in quantities of 3, 5, or 7.

The outside wrapper was absolutely fascinating to me. It looked similar to an empanada or even a ravioli, but ate like a wonton. The crispiness and chew were reminiscent of the wontons I’d get from my local Chinese takeout restaurant. It walked that line of crunchy but not brittle. I was worried the outside would be the weakest part of the item, but it ended up being its strength.

The Buffalo chicken dip mixture was fine but didn’t wow me in the way I had hoped. I am sure some of you are saying to yourself, “Holly…it’s a fast food item. What do you mean ‘wow’ you?”

In recent years, Sonic has stepped up many of its flavors. At least to me, they’ve been more willing to try bolder and unique food offerings to varying degrees of success. I was looking forward to a spicy, flavorful filling with the Buffalo chicken dip, but it fell flat. I was hoping for that strong spice I find present in most iterations of “Buffalo,” but instead got a La Croix interpretation.

Dipping into ranch only made the bite milder in flavor and added nothing to my eating experience. If I were to get them again, I would probably get a side of Buffalo sauce to dip them in to see if that would bring the flavor to the level I had expected. It was just a bummer to have a unique item that did not quite live up to what I wanted.

The Sonic Buffalo Chicken Dip Bites didn’t deliver the spicy snack I had hoped for, but I think the presentation with the tiny fried shell has much potential for future snacks. Spice tolerance is a fairly subjective thing, so if you enjoy the more mild Buffalo flavor, these will probably be a hit. However, if you’re looking for a more cayenne pepper-forward Buffalo taste, these will probably not satisfy you.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 5 pieces
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 pieces) 280 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 650 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Frosty Cream Cold Brew

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My first thought upon taking a sip of Wendy’s new Frosty Cream Cold Brew: why is this so dang sweet?

My second thought: am I actually just drinking straight-up creamer?

My third thought: a lot of people are going to say this is way too sweet.

My fourth thought: but I’m not one of them, BRING IT ON!

Suffice it to say, this latest offering from my favorite red-headed fast food mascot (sorry, Ronald McDonald) comes on strong. It also comes in three flavors; I chose vanilla (it felt like the most neutral for a review… and also happens to be my favorite), but if you prefer chocolate or caramel, those are also available.

My knee-jerk comparison to coffee creamer makes sense, as this beverage consists of cold-brewed coffee with something that Wendy’s identifies as “Frosty creamer” (which, according to its site, is creamer that is actually made from a Frosty), plus a syrup in the aforementioned flavor of your choice, served over ice.

If you’re unfamiliar with cold brew, it’s coffee made from grounds steeped in cold water for an extended period of time. In addition to being known for being more caffeinated than regularly brewed coffee, cold brew has a reputation for tasting particularly smooth, and that’s definitely a word that I would use to describe this drink. On top of that rich, goes-down-easy taste, the texture was noticeably thick and creamy, which made for an indulgent feel. I drank mine late enough in the day that it was more of a dessert than a pick-me-up, and that feels appropriate for something so decadent (although perhaps not the best for my sleep schedule).

The only thing this coffee was missing for me was, well, tasting like coffee. I’ve had cold brew before, and while it is usually on the mellow side, I’ve still always been able to notice that characteristic bitterness lurking beneath the surface. Here, though, even as someone who typically can’t hide the acrid flavor even when it’s masked by generous quantities of milk and cream, I genuinely couldn’t detect any hint whatsoever.

I suspected that maybe my first few sips were just ridiculously sweet because I was getting all the creamer at once, and yes, the sweetness of my subsequent sips was definitely less intense (though definitely still there)… but those sips still tasted more like milk than coffee. While remaining velvety in texture, they also seemed a little watered down flavor-wise. Honestly, if I’d tried this drink past the initial sips while blindfolded, I probably would have guessed it was milk tea after the ice had started to melt.

As I’ve stressed a few times by now, that pronounced sweetness was a positive for me, but I’m aware that many would find it overpowering or just not complex enough (and I admit that I also wish there was a tad more to the flavor profile than “overly sweet, then milky/watery”). So if you’re a coffee purist or just wary of a sugar rush, I’d advise sticking with just regular cold brew or a regular Frosty (or heck, both separately). But if, like me, every one of your teeth is a sweet tooth, you’ll likely find this combination crave-worthy, even if somewhat simple.

Purchased Price: $2.17
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 3 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Aloha Tropical Colada Slush

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I’ve been on a slush kick since Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven.

It was the first slush-style drink I’d had in what felt like years, and something inside of me reawakened. I made up for that lost time in rapid fashion. Wawa hit me with a surprise free ICEE reward, which I immediately cashed in on. I had a few unearned pina coladas, grabbed a slushie with an otherwise gross McDonald’s dinner, and I’ve gone back to 7-Eleven two times since. Needless to say, I’ve been overdoing it.

In my defense, it’s basically the hottest summer ever, but I do need to nip this in the bud now before it gets out of hand. I don’t wanna get addicted to these sugar bombs, so here I am, vowing to return to a slush-less life… as soon as I try Sonic’s new Tropical Colada Slush.

What you’re looking at here is basically a pina colada sans rum – Sonic’s version of a mocktail.

Pineapple, coconut, and banana are arguably my three favorite fruits, and as far as I’m concerned, three flavors that usually blend together perfectly. Usually.

A pina colada with the added banana flavor sounds incredible, but something here just didn’t jive. The Tropical Colada Slush is good, but I really wanted it to be amazing.

This is very pineapple-forward. It dominates the flavor, especially for the first few sips, which I think gave me a brain freeze in world record timing. The Guinness Book later confirmed my claim, but bluntly stated, “No one cares, bro.”

After a few sips, I started to notice a little banana peeking through, which mellowed the sharper pineapple flavor. The real surprise of this slush was how lowkey the coconut was. I don’t like when coconut is so strong you think you’re drinking suntan lotion, but I needed the flavor ramped up about 60% here.

Ultimately it was refreshing, but the recipe needs a tweak. I love Sonic ice, which is closer to a Slush Puppy than a Slurpee, but with this flavor profile, I think I would have preferred the fluffier 7-Eleven style. This thing is dense.

I’m a bit bummed overall for the lack of coconut, but mostly for how soft the banana flavor was. It’s so rare to get something like this with banana. I almost wish I could’ve tried it without the pineapple entirely. Still, I think this scratched my banana itch —- and yes, that does sound awful. I apologize for writing those words.

I wanted this to be the best slush I’ve ever had. Instead, it was only okay. It hit the spot on another 95-degree day at least.

I’d recommend asking for an extra shot of banana if possible. I noticed you could add a shot of blue coconut syrup, which might also be a good idea to counteract the pineapple. As an added bonus, it’ll probably make the slush a satisfying sky-blue color instead of the nondescript off-white.

I’d say give this a try, but go during happy hour and get it for half price. Just be careful, though, because slush drinks can be very addictive.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of sodium, 73 grams of carbohydrates, 72 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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