Wendy’s new chicken tenders are boneless, but I’ve still got a bone to pick with America’s 9th favorite Redhead.

For years, on this great site, I’ve famously, tirelessly, breathlessly, and relentlessly asked – nay – begged Wendy’s to release a line of Frosties chock full of fix-ins called “Wendy’s Blendies.”

Imagine my disappointment when Wendy’s finally added some toppings to their Frosties and called them “Girlie Swirlies” or whatever instead of the more obvious name, “Blendies!”

Now, imagine my suspicion when I saw their newest menu item – Wendy’s Tendys.

“Tendys,” huh? Sounds a little bit like… Blendies!

If you’re thinking, “well, that’s just simplistic wordplay, and parallel thinking at best. You don’t own the abstract premise of rhyme schemes, and to be honest, ‘Tendys’ sounds better than ‘Blendies’ anyway. They didn’t actually blend anything into the Frosty,” then you’re correct, and very blunt. Take it easy. Jeez.

I’d still like an assist though – at least one of those secondary hockey assists where I get an assist for passing the puck to the guy who passed the puck to the guy who actually scored.

Tendys obviously aren’t Wendy’s first foray into chicken fingers/tenders/strips, but they’re a revamped recipe, and as a bonus, they’re being released with a new “Signature Sauce.”

Full transparency, I think Wendy’s chicken offerings have fallen off a cliff in the past decade, but I still enjoy their nuggets from time to time and snagged a free 5-piece to compare. I actually think Tendys are superior, but I might be on an island.

My three strips were salty, dry, and slightly overcooked, but crispy and just tender enough that I actually really liked them. As weird as it sounds, I like dry food, plus that’s what the sauce is there for! Anyway, the flavor and texture alone would have probably gotten a “meh” rating at best, but these things started to taste like something.

This could just be (chicken) selective memory, but as I bit down and racked my brain trying to figure out what they reminded me of, I came to the conclusion – McDonald’s Chicken Selects.

Why and how do I even remember those? They haven’t existed for well over a decade, yet I had a sense memory that I was eating them. Why would Wendy’s remind me of McDonald’s? I don’t know, but Tendys tasted more like Selects than McDonald’s new mediocre tenders.

As for the “Signature” sauce, it’s fine. It’s creamy with a little kick and tastes, I’ll be honest, like all new sauces just taste like some variation of Thousand Island to me. It’s like Russian Dressing and Ranch, maybe. If you told me this was just “S’awesome” sauce from a few years ago, I’d shrug and trudge on with stuffing my face. It gets a B on my patented Sauce Tier list.

So, with the Tendys and the Signature Sauce, there’s really nothing “new” here, but they’re both worth trying. I’d like to know if anyone else had a “Chicken Selects” nostalgia rush while eating them. Try ’em, but just know, three small strips are almost $6. They shoulda called these “Spendys.”

Actually, I’ve come around on the name. It’s fun to say, and definitely better than when my local greasy spoon, “Wendels,” added “Tendels” to the menu. Nasty.

Tendys are solid though!

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 3 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Tendys only) 420 calories, 22 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1050 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 33 grams of protein.