REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Energy Beverages

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Who would’ve thought Starbucks and Dunkin’ would be competing for our cash with fruity energy drinks this year? I didn’t have that on my 2024 Fast Food BINGO card. Earlier this year, Dunkin’ pushed 144 milligrams of caffeine into our bloodstreams with its SPARKD’ Energy Drinks. Now, Starbucks is helping keep America energized with its line of Iced Energy Beverages.

The sugar-free drink debuted with three flavors: Melon Burst, Tropical Citrus, and Frozen Tropical Citrus Iced Energy with Strawberry Puree. While the first two are permanent additions to the menu, the third one is only available for a limited time and exclusive to the Starbucks app. This review will cover the first two.

Starbucks says the Melon Burst Iced Energy features melon and cucumber flavors balanced with Passion Tango Tea. If you’re unfamiliar with the chain’s Passion Tango Tea, it’s made with a blend of hibiscus, lemongrass, and apple, creating a beverage with the color of passion. For a drink called “Melon Burst,” it sure doesn’t have a burst of melon. Nor does it have a noticeable cucumber flavor. Both come out a bit in the aftertaste, but I mostly detected the flavors in the Passion Tango Tea. It’s not a bad tasting beverage since I enjoy hibiscus teas, but I was hoping for more melon.

Starbucks’ Tropical Citrus Iced Energy combines passionfruit and citrus flavors with green tea. There’s a slight tartness from the passionfruit flavor, but I’m not sure I taste anything citrusy, which I guess, depending on the citrus fruit, could also cause the tartness. It starts fruity, and the green tea becomes more noticeable right before I gulp it down. Thoughts of Arizona Green Tea came to mind while drinking this, but as a fan of the cheap canned beverage, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. If I were to repurchase an Iced Energy, I’d get this flavor over the Melon Burst.

With that said, I wish these had a stronger fruitiness. Their flavors don’t pop like they do with Dunkin’s energy drink offerings. Heck, Starbucks’ Refreshers are more enticing. I guess I’m disappointed because I’m used to zero-sugar Monster and Red Bull varieties being flavorful despite having zero calories and artificial sweeteners. But on the plus side, while these Starbucks beverages also use artificial sweeteners, I didn’t notice the sucralose and ace-k in them.

While these don’t pulverize your taste buds with flavor, they do pack a heck of a caffeinated punch. Melon Burst has 180 milligrams of caffeine, and Tropical Citrus has 205 milligrams. Those numbers are for the venti size, which is the ONLY size these drinks come in. I wonder if the reasoning for this is because of what happened with Panera’s Charged Lemonade.

If you want a lightly carbonated, lightly fruity, easy-to-drink, and heavily caffeinated pick-me-up that doesn’t make you feel like you need to brush your teeth afterward, Starbucks’ Iced Energy Drinks will satisfy your taste buds, bloodstream, and teeth.

Purchased Price: $6.25 each
Size: Venti (24 fl oz)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Melon Burst), 6 out of 10 (Tropical Citrus)
Nutrition Facts: (Venti) Melon Burst – 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 180 milligrams of caffeine. Tropical Citrus – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 205 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Papa Johns Bacon Cheesy Burger Papa Bites

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With the introduction of its Bacon Cheesy Burger Papa Bites, popular pizza purveyor Papa Johns now offers three ways to get the taste of a burger. The other two options are the returning Cheesy Burger Pizza and Cheesy Burger Papadia (which had different names in the past). With their small size, I kind of liken these Papa Bites to be the sliders of the three.

These limited-time-only savory noms feature beef, bacon bits, dill pickles, burger sauce, and cheese rolled up with the chain’s fresh, never-frozen original dough to create eight bites. They’re also served with a side of burger sauce for dipping. Besides presentation, another significant difference between these Papa Bites and the other two burger-flavored offerings is that these are the only ones that come with bacon bits by default. They’re paid add-ons for the others.

Beef was the dominant meat, but there was an underlying smokiness from the bacon. The only ingredient that was more potent was the pickle. Most pieces had one slice, and its tangy taste did a lot to convince me this was burger-flavored. The cheese, which looks like a combination of cheddar and mozzarella, added a mild cheesiness, but not one that I’d associate with burgers. I guess I’ve eaten too many processed cheese product slices on my fast food sandwiches. But for the most part its flavors did remind me of a burger.

The orange sauce added a pleasant tanginess to everything. But I wouldn’t say it’s necessary to dip the bites in it because a little bit of the sauce was added when they were being made. So, if you happen to not get a container or someone accidentally spills yours, all is not lost. However, having a copious amount of it on each piece makes everything a bit tastier.

If there’s one issue I had with my order, it is that the end pieces ended up being almost all dough, but thankfully, I still had some sauce left to make those a little more tolerable.

I don’t recall eating the pizza or the Papadia versions (although others here have reviewed them), but after eating these Papa Bites, I think Papa Johns does a better job of nailing down the flavors of a cheeseburger better than Pizza Hut’s Cheeseburger Melt I sampled several weeks ago. If you’re a fan of Papa Johns’ Cheesy Burger Pizza or Papadia, I’m certain you’ll find these Papa Bites as enjoyable.

Purchased Price: $8.99
Size: 8 pieces
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Papa Bites) 100 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Orange Cloudsicle Slush Float

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I reviewed Sonic’s Sour Patch Kids Slush Float in the summer of 2022, so I had an idea of what the latest limited-edition Slush Float, Orange Cloudsicle, would bring to the table. This time, it features a flavor that I hope you’re not sick of yet from its other recent appearances in a Wendy’s Frosty, Arby’s milkshake, etc…

Slush Floats are made up of a majestic swirl of vanilla ice cream on top and slush on bottom, and garnished with a topping that matches the flavor of the slush. In this case, to suit the orange-flavored slush are what Sonic refers to as “orange vanilla flavor bubbles,” though you’re probably more likely to know them as “popping boba” if you’re a bubble tea fan (or “popping pearls,” if Starbucks is more your jam). There’s also “Orange Cloudsicle Syrup,” which is apparently cooler than plain orange because it features hints of vanilla as well (and is different than “Orange Creamsicle” because, well, that was already trademarked).

I used a straw for my last Slush Float and a spoon for this one, and this may sound overly persnickety, but I think the utensil you use really determines your experience. Drinking the Slush Float felt like getting a fun little treat (ice cream) on top of a fun little treat (slushie). Spooning it had the opposite effect: eating ice cream with a weirdly liquid-y, gritty ice mixture at the bottom was honestly kind of a bummer. In hindsight, that’s my bad since Sonic’s soft serve is so dense that I estimate it would take about a year to melt, while the slush had already become watery in the ten or so minutes it took to dig down to that layer. So, honestly, I trashed my layer of slush pretty quickly after I’d finished the ice cream, but I can chalk that disappointment partly up to user error.

Anyway, structural issues aside, how did this thing taste? Not to sound too much like a marketing agency, but: like the epitome of summer, plus a pinch of nostalgia. I don’t feel I need to say much about Sonic’s ice cream since it’s always excellent. The orange flavor of the slush and syrup reminded me more of the actual fruit than the candies inspired by it—think orange juice, not gummy Orange Slices.

But what made me want to eat this in the first place were the flavor bubbles (which, aside from a few stragglers at the bottom of my cup, were pretty much localized entirely on top of the ice cream). They added a sense of fun and uniqueness that was very welcome, plus they were surprisingly strong; I tend to enjoy bursting them against the roof of my mouth, but they were so stretchy that this didn’t always succeed in splitting them, leading to some anticlimactic moments where the juice instead just sort of ended up dribbling out sadly instead of exploding in a grand fashion. Regardless, they were tasty and entertaining, although I didn’t pick up on any of the vanilla that Sonic mentions they contain. Maybe my palette was just too dazed by the obvious vanilla-ness of the ice cream to notice something subtler in comparison?

Ultimately, this is a fun, yummy treat, but one that you should tackle with a strategic order of operations—I suggest learning from my mistake and alternating between spoon and straw for the full effect.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 420 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 250 milligrams of sodium, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 87 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Saucy Nuggs

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When I eat chicken nuggets, either from Wendy’s or another fast food chain, I tend to eat them without any sauce. That delectable fried chicken flavor is enough for me, and I don’t need to muddy it up with many other flavors. Hear that, all you kids with your fancy nugget-dipping sauces? Get off my lawn! (Wait, actually, come back and mow my lawn. Please? I’m begging you.)

Now Wendy’s has laughed in my face by putting out a whole line of nuggets that are absolutely drenched in sauces. And, of course, they come with extra dipping sauces, so you can have some sauce in your sauce. Naturally, I was skeptical but intrigued by this opportunity to see how the other half lives.

There are four main varieties, but technically, there are seven: The Honey BBQ, Buffalo, and Garlic Parm all come in spicy or not-spicy versions, depending on whether they are prepared with Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets as the base product. To me, the non-spicy version represents the default version, so that’s what I went with. The Spicy Ghost Pepper Nuggs, however, are only made in the spicy variety because a Ghost Pepper-branded food that isn’t spicy makes no sense.

As I’ve noticed with other fried chicken products, like Pizza Hut’s WingStreet boneless wings, the sauce application is a little bit haphazard. Some pieces were absolutely drenched in sauce, while others only had a little spotting of it. You can rectify this by using your nugget as a little sponge to soak up the sauce on the bottom of the plastic tray, which sometimes works.

The Saucy Nuggs come with Ranch and Blue Cheese dipping sauces, as you would expect. Even though I typically skip this option, I did try the Nuggs with them this time for the sake of being thorough. I know. My commitment to chicken-based journalism knows no bounds.

On the whole, I was impressed with Wendy’s latest offering.

Honey BBQ

This uses a textbook-standard honey barbecue sauce on the sweeter end of the spectrum. They are perfectly fine but not remarkable in any way. It makes for a good blank canvas if you’re really planning on going to town on the ranch and blue cheese.

Buffalo

The perfect level of mild spice that mixes well with the dipping sauces, and the classic pairing of Buffalo sauce with blue cheese is a winner. This is exactly how spicy I like my food, and I would definitely order these again. These made me a little nostalgic for the brief time I actually lived in Buffalo when I didn’t eat the wings nearly as often as I should have.

Garlic Parm

The big surprise of the lot. The garlic and parmesan flavors are clearly discernible, but neither is overpowering; it’s a surprisingly delicate flavor. The texture is also different from the other nuggets, more closely resembling a nice, crunchy piece of real fried chicken, greasy but in the best way. Either the ranch or the blue cheese will obliterate the subtle flavor, so be sure to have these naked. The question with these is not whether I will order them again, but “How long will they be on the menu? Please say it’s the whole summer!”

Spicy Ghost Pepper

The wildcard: Just how spicy were these going to be? I was timid, so I took my GP nugg with a healthy dollop of blue cheese to balance out the heavy spicing. Even with the cooling agent of the dipping sauce, the heat in the back of my throat from just one of these things was nearly more than I could handle. Fortunately, my husband is one of those people who asks for the maximum spice level when we go out for curry, so he was able to field this one for me and eat the rest of them. He said they were great and that these, and the Garlic Parm, were the ones he would definitely order again.

So, all in all, it was a rather good outing for our intrepid redhead, who I would say has been on a roll lately…except for the new Triple Berry Frosty. Hey, even Babe Ruth didn’t hit a home run every time he stepped up to the plate.

Size: 10 piece orders (40 pieces total)
Purchased Price: $5.79 each
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Honey BBQ), 8 out of 10 (Buffalo), 10 out of 10 (Garlic Parm), and Husband Approval out of 10 (Ghost Pepper)
Nutrition Facts: Honey BBQ – 590 calories, 29 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 mg of cholesterol, 1450 mg of sodium, 56 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber, 30 grams total sugars, and 25 grams of protein. Buffalo – 530 calories, 36 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 mg of cholesterol, 2800 mg of sodium, 26 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber, 1 gram total sugar, and 25 grams of protein. Garlic Parm – 940 calories, 80 grams total fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 80mg of cholesterol, 1610 mg of sodium, 29 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber,1 gram total sugars, and 27 grams of protein. Ghost Pepper – 900 calories, 17 grams of total fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 95 mg of cholesterol, 2060 mg of sodium, 30 grams of total carbohydrate, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 27 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Triple Berry Frosty

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It’s been a little over two months, so it’s time for a new Frosty flavor.

It took forever for Wendy’s to expand from chocolate to vanilla, and now the window between new Frosties is about as short as a theatrical movie landing on your favorite overpriced streaming service.

Save the movie theaters!

Anyway, it’s been exactly two years since Wendy’s hit us with a Strawberry Frosty. I reviewed it then, and wasn’t blown away. I believe I said at the time, and don’t look this up, “This isn’t terrible, but I need more berries! They should’ve added blackberry and raspberry! Also, the Boston Celtics are going to win the 2024 NBA title.”

I’m not saying I’m clairvoyant, but I think someone at Wendy’s Inc. saw my review, and that’s where the seedling for a Triple Berry Frosty was born. Let me just do some math here – Strawberry. Blackberry. Raspberry. Yup. That’s three, alright. When you combine said berries, you get a nice lavender color, and that’s basically the highlight.

I couldn’t help but notice that it just looked like soft ice cream. It was missing the bits of ice that I expect from a Wendy’s Frosty. That is the small distinction I always make between Frosties and ice cream, smoothies, shakes, etc. I need the tiny flecks of ice crystals for at least a few spoonfuls. They were basically absent here. I was starting to think this was just gonna be Strawberry redux, and I was basically right.

I instantly assumed this had blueberries in it. I tasted a slight medicinal blueberry flavor with a dry “Tums” finish. I’m still kinda shocked that blueberries aren’t one of the three berries.

I didn’t really distinguish any of the other berries because, in the end, this tastes like literally any “mixed berry” yogurt you’ve ever had minus the yogurt “tang.” Essentially, what I’m saying is this Frosty lacks culture!

You might think, “It’s just a berry smoothie,” but it’s not, and I think that hurts it. I wish it was. This flavor profile in an ice cream-like form doesn’t really work that well.

Actually, it doesn’t work as a Wendy’s menu item. To bring it back to the movies, this flavor feels like a giant tonal shift in the Wendy’s script.

On its own, it’s decent, but with food, it just clashed. I’ve never really felt that way about previous Frosties, not even the Orange Dreamsicle. Drinking something “mixed berry yogurt” flavored didn’t compliment my fatty Wendy’s food at all.

Triple Berry just didn’t pop for me. I think it’s time to abandon berries entirely… ya know, except the best berry – banana. We better get a Banana Frosty at some point. If Wendy’s insists on keeping berries on the menu, allow me the obligatory mention of my topping idea – Wendy’s Blendies. I’ll toss some strawberries in my Chocolate Frosty. Why not? What are we waiting for?

Bury Triple Berry. It’s forgettable and ultimately skippable. See you in two months for the next one.

Purchased Price: $2.19
Size: Small
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 8 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 mg of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of total carbohydrates, 46 grams of sugars, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of protein.

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