REVIEW: Wendy’s Berry Burst Chicken Salad

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Wendy s Berry Burst Chicken Salad

As a marketing writer for a semi-large organization, and as a perpetual bullshitter, I tend to appreciate the subtle ability of words to transform the same old thing into something completely different.

Let’s put our cards on the table: a straight description doesn’t work anymore. Nobody wants what is. Everyone wants what is ideal.

Case in point, what was the

Granted, there are some slight variations, but who actually remembers a slight switcheroo in a cheese or a berry or a dressing?

For what it’s worth, what is basically the same salad from 2011 and 2016 is still delicious. Although, perhaps to stay consistent with the times, we should say it’s still delicious AF. Regardless, the salad has that rare ability to make you stop and say, “Wait, that came from Wendy’s?”

Wendy s Berry Burst Chicken Salad 4

If you still haven’t had Wendy’s revamped grilled chicken, which debuted two years ago, get with the times, man. It’s juicy, succulent, and it has flavor like something grilled on one of those short-season Food Network summer grilling shows. I can’t believe I just said that about white meat. Anyways, the chicken is more than passable and a few notches above any pre-packed salad you’d find in the grocery store.

Wendy s Berry Burst Chicken Salad 3

I was really impressed with the berries, particularly the strawberries, which had a slightly macerated taste and texture that was sweet without being cloying or overripe. The blueberries were by and large plump and ripe, their modest sweetness pairing nicely against the salty feta cheese. Both the cheese and the smoky, crunchy almonds, give the salad a hearty feel — perhaps even a burst.

The biggest drawbacks are the dressing and the amount of lettuce. The sweetness of the dressing tends to be a little too much with the berries. It’s like putting ketchup on my ketchup flavored potato chips -— both delicious, less so together. As for the lettuce, I feel like Elaine Benes might be cool with it, but when I’m fairly full and there’s still a forest staring back at me, sans chicken and berries, the ratio is a little off.

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I told myself I wasn’t going to look at the past reviews of Wendy’s Chicken/Almond/Berry salad combos when scoring the Berry Burst Chicken Salad. Well, lo and behold I have no self-control and saw past scores of 8 and 9. Given that nothing much has changed, but more importantly, given that this is still a great salad, a 9 seems more than appropriate.

(Nutrition Facts – Full size – 460 calories, 17 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1090 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 29 grams of sugar, 7 grams of fiber, and 41 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.79
Size: Full size
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: “Lots of fresh strawberries and blueberries” — literally ripped this line from the 2011 review, which is still applicable. Grilled chicken is a step above 2011 version. Well composed salad with super fresh ingredients. Crunchy almonds and feta cheese create good contrasts in flavors and textures.
Cons: Raspberry vinaigrette is like putting ketchup on ketchup potato chips. A little too much greenery. Lingering debate over the connotation of “chicken salad” vs. “salad with chicken.”

REVIEW: Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

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Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

Pickles.

They’re just one of those things that are inherently funny. They don’t even have to do anything; just the fact that they exist is amusing. (Kind of like cats, noses, and octopuses.)

One thing (out of many) that makes them funny is their polarizing qualities. Pickle is one of the food fads du jour, but plenty of people can’t stand them.

I like pickles, but I’m no fanatic (I like to get pickle products mostly to gross out my pickle-hating friends). I think the cukes’ silliness is the main reason they’re having their heyday. Because of this, I think Sonic’s new Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush is primarily a marketing gimmick to make people laugh.

I don’t eat in my car, so I went to a Sonic with a dining area. When I walked in, I said to the cashier, “Can I get a…” and she finished my sentence: “Pickle slush?” She thought I chose small because I wasn’t a risk taker, but the fact is that I just can’t eat that much slushiness.

I told her I was trying it for this review, and she asked if I was going to put in a pickle spear, instead of a decorative umbrella. I was disappointed when she said they didn’t actually offer pickle spears with the drink. What a missed opportunity, Sonic!

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush 2

When I took my first sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally pickle juice.” It’s exactly what you would expect to find in a jar of dill pickles—a tart, acidic flavor.

But by my second sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally a Sonic slush.” See, even though dill pickles are a savory food, this is still a sugary slush. I have had shaved ice that had pickle juice flavoring, and it was just like pure pickle juice, not sweet at all. But Sonic’s version is just as sweet (or almost as sweet) as their other flavors. I’ve heard of serious athletes using pickle juice as a recovery drink, but this slush is no health food.

Personally, I enjoyed it, and I liked it more than I probably would have if it weren’t sweet. The dill and the sweetness didn’t clash as much as you might expect. It was refreshing.

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush 3

I got a cheeseburger with my slush, and since there were no actual pickles in the slush, I transferred a couple of pickle slices to the drink. But I don’t recommend it; the sweetness didn’t match the real pickles, and I don’t like chewing cold things.

I can’t help wondering who this is for. If you don’t like pickles or pickle juice, then you won’t like it. And if you love pickle juice, you will be disappointed that it’s so sugary. I guess it’s for people who are somewhat apathetic about pickles, who like sweet slushes, and who enjoy trying weird foods.

I might get it again, but only because of its utter weirdness. It’s not any better than the other Sonic flavors.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on Sonic’s website, but a small Slush without any flavoring contains: 180 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 30 grams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Sweet and refreshing. Dill flavor doesn’t clash with the slush as much as you might expect. Pickles are hilarious.
Cons: Not a health food. Doesn’t come with pickles. Who is it for, exactly?

QUICK REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut

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Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut

What is it?

The apparent runner-up to Krispy Kreme’s glaze-voting-contest-winner lemon – The Blueberry Glaze Doughnut. Once again KK’s iconic glaze conveyor belt of sickly sweet dreams gets transformed from the original wash of sugary vanilla to a brand new and seasonally appropriate blueberry.

How is it?

Out of the box, the doughnut carries the distinct aroma of one of my other favorite breakfast carb bombs – a blueberry bagel. Unlike a blueberry bagel, which always smells sweeter and more potent than the flavor it actually delivers, this doughnut comes through in a major way. The bright berry notes work perfectly with the doughy yeast base for a combination that is truly great and much tastier than it looks.

Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut 2

The blueberry glaze is sweet yet sharp and highlights the golden fried exterior in a way that is often masked by the best-in-its-class original. It’s a gentle flavor that isn’t too over the top yet very present with the perfect ratio of fresh to decadent with the slightly tart blueberry helping to temper the sweeter OG recipe.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Krispy Kreme is known for its super fresh Hot Light doughnuts, but since these are only made once early in the day and I couldn’t make it until later, I had to recreate that magic at home with the microwave. Popping this berry boy into the micro for 6-8 seconds heightens the sweetness and creates a melty soft texture that’s everything conveyor dreams are made of.

Conclusion:

Krispy Kreme Blueberry Glaze Doughnut 3

It’s a damn good thing that KK decided to bring out this non-winning glaze for a week-long run because as good as the lemon was, this one is even better. It’s a more notable change to the original while still keeping everything that makes the OG so classic. The blueberry is the berry that’s made for breakfast, performing equally well in pancakes, muffins, oatmeal, and, you’d better believe, doughnuts.

Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Ultra Caramel Frappuccino

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Starbucks Ultra Caramel Frappuccino

What is it?

Starbucks’ new Ultra Caramel Frappuccino launched with the Triple Mocha Frappuccino to kick off Frappuccino season. I straight up asked the barista what the difference was between the Ultra Caramel and original version. Not really selling it – he stated that it was a different caramel and whipped cream.

But it was so much more than that –- the caramel is a new dark caramel sauce, the new whipped cream is infused with cold brew (!!!), and it’s created in layers so that all the good stuff is distributed nicely throughout the drink.

How is it?

Delicious!

When I was in middle school, I used to drink a Venti Caramel Frappuccino with extra caramel every single summer day. A little bit gross, I know. So, the Ultra Caramel is like the upgraded adult version. I enjoy the smokier dark caramel sauce and the additional caffeine and coffee flavor from the cold brew whipped cream. The blended coffee is a good backdrop, but a bit icy per usual.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Starbucks Ultra Caramel Frappuccino 2

Starbucks needs to package this delicious cold brew whipped cream and sell it, please. But, you can add this topping to any drink for 50 cents extra. Also, Ultra is not replacing the original Caramel or Mocha flavors. But, the Ultra version will run you $0.80 more (than the original) for a Tall, $0.50 more for a Grande and Venti.

Conclusion:

Hello Frappuccino season! The new Ultra Caramel is a great way to kick it off.

Purchased Price: $4.75
Size: Tall (12 fl oz.)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 44 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 70 milligrams of caffeine..

QUICK REVIEW: White Castle Impossible Slider

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White Castle Impossible Slider 1

What is it?

The White Castle Impossible Slider is an abomination of science!

Nah, it’s actually pretty ground-breaking. We’re talking about a plant-based (wheat, coconut oil, and potato protein) “burger” that somehow manages to mimic beef. Has the future arrived?

How is it?

It’s interesting.

The flavor is too smoky and reminds me of bad BBQ. I could have been convinced this was mushroom-based, so I guess this is that “umami” flavor I still don’t quite understand. The lingering flavor I kept thinking of was “fake bacon.” Kinda like the powder you’d get on those Potato Skin chips.

White Castle Impossible Slider 2

White Castle Impossible Slider 4

The patty is really just clumps –- kinda like a pulled beef. I can’t tell if it succeeds texture-wise, but it’s not like a regular veggie burger or tofu, it toes the line between those. It is definitely “meat-adjacent.”

I can’t explain it. It’s somehow spongy and crumbly, but also moist and meaty. It’s like the Impossible Foods folks invented a new form of matter. It still tastes “fake,” but not as fake. Make sense?

These sliders come with smoked cheddar and fire-roasted onions, which are a slight spin on the usual White Castle toppings you’re used to.

Is there anything else I need to know?

White Castle Impossible Slider

I’d say they are about 1.5 times the size of a normal slider, and they grill ’em fresh for you on order.

The thing that kinda bugs me is for a plant-based alternative to meat, they aren’t even that healthy. I feel like that kinda defeats the entire purpose. Who are these for? What Vegetarian is regularly going to hit up White Castle anyway?

White Castle Impossible Slider 5

Impossible Sliders are only available in Chicago, New York, and New Jersey right now, but don’t get too upset, you’re not missing anything life-changing.

Conclusion:

While I didn’t enjoy the taste all that much and the nutrition numbers make this a one-time novelty purchase, I do think it’s on to something. Impossible Burgers could very well be the future, but they haven’t quite cracked it yet.

I had a regular cheeseburger slider too, and there was no contest which was better.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 870 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein..

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