While everyone sits around twiddling their thumbs waiting for Popeyes to announce the return of its chicken sandwich, Ronald and the gang have quietly dropped a couple of intriguing chicken sammies of their own.

I’ve never understood chicken for breakfast, but guess what? I don’t have to understand it. We live in the golden age of fast food, so I could roll up to the drive-thru and get a Chicken McGriddles and a McChicken Biscuit at three in the afternoon – and that’s exactly what I did.

I’m pretty sure these sandwiches aren’t “new,” but this was the first time they hit the menu in my neck of the woods. “Secret Menu” aficionados probably scoff at the idea of a McChicken on a biscuit or griddle cake, but these were revolutionary to a sheltered sap such as myself.

Do you like the McChicken? Do you like McDonald’s biscuits and McGriddle cakes? Well then, I think you can imagine what you’re getting here. Personally, I can live without the McChicken, but those McGriddle cakes, ohhhh baby, do I love me some McGriddle cake.

I’ll start with the biscuit because it was the less successful of the two. The McChicken is not exactly a moist (he said “moist,” oh the horror!) piece of meat, so pairing it with a dry, crumbly biscuit only works if you also slather it in some kind of sauce. It doesn’t come with one.

In hindsight, some honey or maple syrup would have improved this significantly. If you’re not in the mood for breakfast, some BBQ sauce will work as well. That’s the beauty of chicken on a biscuit. So, the McChicken Biscuit is decent, but make sure you ask for sauce.

The McGriddles version is a McChicken patty between the two cakes, no eggs or cheese, and that was fine with me. The grease and maple syrup pockets of the McGriddle cakes provided the lubricant (a word more gross than “moist”) that the biscuit lacked.

Anyone who enjoys the sweet and savory combo of chicken and waffles should be all-in on the Chicken McGriddles. I’m of the opinion that the McGriddles are the best McDonald’s menu addition in the past 20 years, and this isn’t changing my mind. I might go back and see if I can try them with eggs added. I’m sure it’s legit.

I have to reiterate the McChicken is a middle of the road fast food sandwich at best. I couldn’t help but think this would be better with someone else’s chicken. A Popeyes filet patty between two McDonald’s McGriddle cakes would be an instant 10.

These both go down easy and can be eaten at any time of day, so they’re definitely worth checking out. They should make you forget about your Popeyes fever for a spell.

I dig this expansion of the McDonald’s brand. Maybe we can try a McGriddles Burger soon without knowing someone who works there or ordering from some secret Illuminati’s menu.

Purchased Price: $5.52 (for both – 2 for $4 before 10:30 a.m.)
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Biscuit), 7 out of 10 (McGriddle)
Nutrition Facts: Biscuit – 420 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1040 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein. McGriddle – 390 calories, 15 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1000 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

McDonald’s doesn’t come out with as many new chicken sandwiches as Burger King does every year.

I imagine they test many ideas, but only the best of the best make their way to the menu boards across the nation. It’s usually just one a year, or, if we’re lucky, two. But despite all that work I’m imagining, the flavor of the chain’s new Spicy BBQ Chicken Sandwich bores me.

On paper, it looks good. It’s a crispy chicken filet with onions, pickles, and a spicy BBQ sauce on a sesame seed bun. It’s like a menu hack a McDonald’s kitchen staff member came up with one time when the McRib was back or something. But after my first bite, I didn’t think, “Mmmmm,” “hot damn,” or “I’m Lovin’ It.”

The sauce is what’s most disappointing, but the other toppings are accomplices in my dissatisfaction with this sandwich. Its name is dead-on, it’s a spicy barbecue sauce. It’s a little smoky, even less sweet, and there’s a mild peppery tingle from whatever spices are in it. But, I don’t know if it either doesn’t work with the chicken filet or better spicy barbecue sauces I’ve had are clouding my judgment, but it doesn’t excite my taste buds.

There was a good amount of it on my order, but even with what I was given, it wasn’t enough to be flavorful. Maybe tossing the filet in the sauce like the Glazed Tenders would help? Why would I want more of the most disappointing part of this? I don’t know. I like messy sandwiches? Masochism?

The onions and pickles enhance the flavor of the beloved/hated McRib, but they both don’t do it here. The tang of the pickles does a decent job of cutting through the sauce’s spiciness and being noticed among the sauce’s flavor. But the constantly falling onions only seem to be in this sandwich to prove gravity still exists.

Here are some nice things I’m going to say about the Spicy BBQ Chicken Sandwich I received: the chicken’s breading has some crunch and the poultry itself wasn’t totally dry. But other than that, I think it’s a mediocre sandwich.

Purchased Price: $5.49*
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 530 calories, 19 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1260 milligrams of sodium, 64 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Do you trust your taste buds?

It’s an honest question; and no, not in the existential crisis proceeding when you learn that all the loops in Froot Loops taste the same (they do) but in drawing on a memory of something you ate in the past and comparing it to something you ate today.

I bring this up because last year McDonald’s released its Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders, and I liked them. This year, they released what seems like a similar product — Spicy BBQ Glazed Tenders — but I can’t say the same thing.

McDonald’s is advertising the Spicy BBQ Glazed Tenders as “smoky,” “juicy,” and “mouthwatering.” They are none of the preceding, and certainly not worthy of the “whoo!” the McDonald’s website claims you’ll say after eating them.

“Meh,” perhaps. “Woo,” please.

For starters, they’re not much to look at. It may be fast food, but it’s also 2019, and when your premium tenders are broken and sagging in an oversized box, that says something about preparation.

It also says something about your preparation — and maybe even the conception — when my tenders are soggy and have little crunch when ordered during the Noon to 1 p.m. lunch hour. They had no genuine crisp or crackle in the breading. Inside, they were dryer than McDonald’s tenders I’ve had in the past, with none of the succulence white meat needs to be anything other than boring.

But perhaps the biggest letdown was the sauce. Where last year’s Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders nailed the Honey BBQ flavor, the BBQ sauce on this year’s Spicy BBQ tenders leaves much to be desired. It’s not as sweet or bold as last year’s version but carries the same ho-hum level of spiciness — a little cayenne on the back end, some garlic powder, maybe enough black pepper to let you know that hey, we didn’t lie entirely in our marketing.

I tend to treat chicken tenders like pizza, falling back on the theory that they can never be truly repulsive. But I’m also a big believer in opportunity cost, and as the list of McDonald’s menu items I would have rather spent money on grows, my relative enjoyment of a disappointing product dissipates. My suggestion? Get the buttermilk tenders and sauce them separately. You may like them.

Purchased Price: $4.59
Size: 4-count
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4-count) 580 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1950 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.