REVIEW: Pizza Hut Mozzarella Poppers Pizza

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Pizza Hut Mozzarella Poppers Pizza

I once had a dream that Pizza Hut here in the U.S. offered a pizza with large crispy mozzarella sticks as the end crust. When I woke up and wiped away the drool from my mouth, which ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT happen all the time, I realized it was all a dream, and the bodily fluids stopped coming out of my mouth and started rolling down from my eyes.

Pizza Hut’s Mozzarella Poppers Pizza is not the pizza of my salty dream. Instead of edges that are entirely made of crispy, breaded cheese sticks, the large pizza has 16 1.5-inch mozzarella-filled squares plopped onto and baked with the regular crust, and spaced out so that there will be two of them on each of the eight slices. The menu item also comes with two containers of marinara sauce for dipping.

Pizza Hut Mozzarella Poppers Pizza Closeup

It doesn’t take much effort to pop off the poppers from the pizza, which doesn’t have the iron grip that’s shown in promotional photos. Their breaded exteriors are seasoned with garlic, onion, parmesan, parsley, basil, and oregano, and they have a subtle crispiness. Thanks to the seasonings, I could eat them without dipping them into the sauce, but they taste better with it.

Pizza Hut Mozzarella Poppers Pizza Popper Closeup

The cheese wasn’t gooey, and it tastes similar to what’s in the chain’s original Stuffed Crust. If you’ve had a mozzarella stick, you know what you’re getting here.

Now, you could eat the poppers and end crust separately, leave them attached and eat them with the rest of the crust, or, if you don’t eat that part of a pizza, remove the cheese-filled squares and let the remaining bread rot forever in the hell where all the other discarded pizza crusts go to burn into charred lumps that’ll never be eaten. Sorry, remembering another dream I had.

If you like to eat crusts, I’d recommend leaving the poppers on to make it a little more tolerable, because the bread directly underneath them gets a little moist, probably due to the heat between them.

I have to admit the dough the poppers are sitting on with my pizza looks a bit undercooked when compared with the golden brown mozzarella poppers, but its texture and taste was fine while eating. Okay, the taste was super dull, but thankfully the two marinara containers have enough for the poppers and most of the remaining end crust. But it would be less boring if the poppers are left on.

As for the non-crust side, I ordered a modified Supreme, and it tasted like a…Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza. SURPRISE!

Overall, Pizza Hut’s Mozzarella Poppers Pizza is a bit ho-hum. The poppers themselves are a nice appetizer when dipped in marinara, but if you do that to all of them, you’re left with a crust that’s more bland than usual.

Of course, that could’ve been avoided if the edges were only mozzarella sticks or if the poppers were a topping. Yes, poppers as a topping was from another dream.

Purchased Price: $21.99* (Supreme)
Size: Large
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice – Supreme) 460 calories, 23 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 20 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic

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Wendy s Big Bacon Classic

Despite thousands of radio stations, playlists, and aging boomer cover bands, most people concede there is no one uniform, authoritative definition of Classic Rock. Some say it has to be from the 60s or 70s; others that it has to feature certain guitar rifts; some claim that in its truest form that Classic Rock can’t include anything but British bands. Classic, it seems, is at least somewhat in the eye (or ear) of the beholder.

Such might also be said of the classic bacon cheeseburger.

Cheddar? Blue Cheese? Applewood smoked or peppered bacon? Lettuce, tomato, and onion? Or just meat, cheese, and bacon? That’s not even saying anything of the condiments or bun choice.

Wendy’s latest burger offering, the Big Bacon Classic, attempts to answer that question by adding Applewood Smoked Bacon to a Dave’s Single. Groundbreaking, I know, except for the fact that it originally debuted in 1992.

Wendy s Big Bacon Classic Toppings

Like most premium fast food burgers these days, Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic looks impressive out of the wrapper. With a quarter-pound of beef, bacon, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup, mayo, and onions, it has enough heft to inspire confidence without being unwieldy.

I got the burger twice — once during the lunch hour and once in the evening and from two separate Wendy’s.

The first time, I couldn’t get past an off-flavor that was a little bit burnt and a little bit woodsy (having once bitten through a twig roasting a marshmallow, I know these things). Thinking I hit a bad piece of bacon, I took another bite. But I got the same off-flavor result.

Wendy s Big Bacon Classic Split

Unsure which part of the burger was causing the weirdly unpleasant taste, I tested the components individually, and found nothing wrong with them. Everything was fresh and in its proper portion, although the bacon coverage wasn’t as great as “big” leads you to believe. Still, it had a nice smoky flavor and was rendered perfect by fast food standards, with the right balance of fat, crunch, and smoke.

Since I wasn’t sure if the weird off-flavor of my burger was an inherent flaw or some kind of ingredient or handling issue confined to time and place, I got another one later in the week.

Wendy s Big Bacon Classic Bacon

My second was, from a cheeseburger perspective, much better than the first, with a juicy and hot patty dripping with juices and fat, oozing up the cheese. However, its bacon was rather quiet and this time overcooked, although the off and distracting flavor was gone.

Despite being a really good fast food cheeseburger, it didn’t taste better than a well-executed Dave’s Single, which you can get for less than half the price if you’re ordering off the 2 for $5 menu.

All in all, the Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic was good but a bit of a letdown when executed well, and a major disappointment when executed poorly. A good-looking burger with good individual ingredients, to me, it’s classic only in the sense that it’s a classic case of inconsistent execution in fast food.

Purchased Price: $5.59
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams trans fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1260 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of fiber, 8 gram of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Pink Velvet Signature Latte

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Dunkin Pink Velvet Signature Latte

What is Dunkin’s Pink Velvet Signature Latte?

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, it’s Dunkin’s new coffee-fied spin on a Red Pink Velvet cake.

How is it?

Are you wondering what *Pink* Velvet is?!

Wonder no more, because, well, it’s Red Velvet.

This a Red Velvet cake-flavored latte, and that’s pretty much what it tastes like.

Honestly, despite the name and color, I was getting a sweet green tea vibe from the flavor at first. If you’ve ever had green tea ice cream at a sushi restaurant, it put me in mind of that.

As I sipped on, I realized that Dunkin’ actually did do an excellent job of capturing that ever so slight cocoa red velvet cake flavor.

There’s a hint of espresso, but this is a Dunkin’ latte, so the flavor is ultimately “milky cake.” Ask for an extra espresso shot. You know what you’re getting into when ordering a Dunkin’ latte, but man, it’s just so damn milky.

Dunkin Pink Velvet Signature Latte Whip

Despite nearly choking to death on the generous heaping of cocoa powder, I enjoyed the often-excessive whipped topping. The whip and chocolate drizzle paired with this particular flavor nicely.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Unlike the new Pink Velvet Macchiato, this latte doesn’t have hints of cream cheese frosting — at least according to the official website. So, if you want the full experience, maybe consider opting for the Macchiato.

If the cream cheese frosting was there, I don’t think I could have tasted it above all the skim milk anyway. So I’m kinda glad I didn’t because there’s enough dairy as is.

Dunkin Pink Velvet Signature Latte Colour

I was pleasantly surprised at the color of the latte. I assumed it was gonna be “Pink Velvet” in flavor, not necessarily appearance, but as you can see, it’s pretty fun and festive.

Conclusion:

The color is great, the flavor’s middle of the pack, but it’s still worth a shot – just maybe get an extra shot of espresso.

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: Medium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 330 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 53 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries

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Taco Bell Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries 1

For the most part, I like fries about as much as any other typical fast food fan probably does. But, you know, even I have to begrudgingly admit that maybe it’s time to take a break from them and turn that fryer off for a few months.

Of course, just as I think that those beautiful bastards at Taco Bell’s research and development labs go and craft this new “Mexico on the Hudson” flavor for all the fry-eaters of the world to not only enjoy, but reflect on.

With the hard-charging heat of New York’s Buffalo sauce spilling forth on the stampeding herd of Taco Bell’s famous fries — and its companion burrito, natch — it’s such a tangy stroke of corporate genius you have to wonder why it hasn’t happened before, causing a culture clash that is far more related, like distant cousins, than previously thought.

Taco Bell Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries

Outright, the clear-cut “winner winner, Buffalo chicken dinner” is the fantastic Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries. It comes with a nice portion of shredded chicken and the usual accouterments, such as pico de gallo, reduced fat sour cream, and nacho cheese sauce over Taco Bell’s seasoned fries. But it’s the liberal dowsing of Buffalo sauce that gives the platter a mostly loving kick in the metaphorical junk.

It was definitely a bit of culinary violence that the Bell needed, especially before its fries became a little too staid for their own good —- something I’m sure we all can agree on. That being said, the next time I order these, I’d love to add a squirt or two of the Spicy Ranch, perhaps for a bit of heated resistance.

Taco Bell Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries Burrito

With that said, the sauce isn’t as powerful in the Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries Burrito, but that’s not to say it’s entirely bad either. It’s just…different.

While it could’ve been a fluke in my home Bell’s kitchen, my burrito, loaded with the same items as the fries but wrapped in a loose tortilla, must have had far less of the Buffalo sauce because it wasn’t as “in your face” as the fries.

It still works well though, with the scant Buffalo sauce instead enhancing the burrito and its taste instead of utterly dominating it. I can understand if people would disagree with me about this, but, especially after the stomach-enflaming fires of the fries, that was a somewhat cooling snack, a coda on the whole Buffalo sauce phenomenon.

Who knew it would be Taco Bell, of all places, to deliver it.

Purchased Price: $2.99 each
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries – 490 calories, 32 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1080 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries Burrito – 510 calories, 26 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1190 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick

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Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick

When I saw Jack in the Box’s Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick was from the makers of Hot Pockets, I thought it would be the size of a Hot Pocket. Unfortunately, it’s not, and its name is more substantial than the product itself.

The stick is loaded with eggs, cheese, and bacon. Okay, “loaded” is being super generous. It has egg, cheese, and bacon, and I guess one could consider that a load of ingredients, but as you can see below, they don’t fill the croissant stick. Can air be an ingredient? If so, then I guess it can be thought of as “loaded.”

Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick Innards

Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick Closeup

The croissant crust is flaky and greasy on the outside, and there are a few layers of dough, which give the menu item some crispiness. Underneath that is a thick layer of soft dough to prevent the filling from escaping, which it does an excellent job of, unlike the exterior of regular Hot Pockets.

Jack in the Box Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick Pen

After passing through the fried crust, there’s the savoriness from the egg, cheese, and bacon, but the ratios are off with every chomp because there’s not a lot of each throughout the stick.

With one bite, it’s more cheese. Another has more bacon. Another has a better balance between the ingredients. And, another…oh, who am I kidding. It takes three bites for me to consume the whole thing. I imagine if this were indeed loaded, then I’d be able to taste everything in every chew. But with the lack of filling, the crust’s flavor is the most prominent.

But let’s now talk about the one ingredient I’m sure you’re all curious about — the air. There’s a lot of it. I assume, when it’s sealed in, it absorbs the flavors of the egg, cheese, and bacon. But once the crust is cracked open, all that probably floats away. Maybe I should’ve stuffed the whole thing in my mouth so that I could taste that delicious, savory air.

Jack in the Box’s Loaded Breakfast Croissant Stick is something I wouldn’t buy again. Even at its ONE DOLLAR promotional price*, I’m not sure it (and all the air it has) is worth a try.

*Unfortunately, I paid two dollars for mine because, you know, living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is expensive.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on Jack in the Box’s website.

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