REVIEW: Dunkin’ Coconutmilk Iced Latte

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Dunkin Coconutmilk Iced Latte Cup

What is Dunkin’s Coconutmilk Iced Latte?

Summer’s just about here, so why not try brightening up your morning latte with a hint of the tropics?

How is it?

Well, I certainly didn’t feel like I was on a tropical vacation because this might be the worst possible coffee order at Dunkin.

That might seem hyperbolic with the endless amounts of combinations on their extensive menu, but I don’t think I’ve ever had such a… let’s say, “incomplete” iced coffee drink.

I didn’t get any sweetener or flavor add-ons because I wanted to review the Coconutmilk Iced Latte in its true form, and I’m here to warn you against making the same mistake.

I’ve gone this long in life without ever using coconutmilk as a coffee creamer, and I was excited at the prospect. I guess I just expected so much more.

Coconutmilk doesn’t work as a latte milk; it’s just way too thin. I’m not looking for a milkshake here, but I still expect a latte to be creamier than my usual cold brew. I’d say the only thing worse would be an unsweetened skim milk latte, but the coconut finish actually detracted from the coffee flavor too.

Dunkin Coconutmilk Iced Latte Top

Honestly, this tasted like coffee-flavored coconut milk more than a coconutmilk based coffee – if that makes sense? It was just water with a distant taste of coconut, and an even more distant hint of coffee.

Anything else you need to know?

Here’s the weird thing, I’m a big coconut fan.

I frequently order a cold brew with oat milk and a shot of coconut. Those flavor shots (not to be confused with flavor swirls) add just a tiny hint of additional flavor and very little sweetness, but I like that order so much more than this. I guess I can chalk it up to being mostly coffee with a thicker milk. Oddly, I think I like the fake coconut flavor better than the authentic too.

With all this said, this latte is probably salvageable. I never get sugar in my coffee, but it definitely would have pepped this up. I can see a flavor swirl of mocha improving it a ton as well. I bet the chocolate would pair nicely with the nuttiness of the coconut and possibly wake the coffee flavor up a little bit too. I loved Dunkin’s Samoa iced coffee in the past, so why not add a swirl of mocha AND caramel? Go (coco)nuts. It’s only 100 more calories. I might actually do this.

Conclusion:

Despite pretty much hating this latte, I do like that Dunkin’ has added the option of using coconutmilk, and I intend to give it another try in a cold brew or iced coffee.

If you feel so inclined to order this specific latte, just heed my advice and sweeten it up. I want your morning to be as bright as possible!

Purchased Price: $4.59
Size: Medium
Purchased at: Dunkin
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 50 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Twisted Texan Cheeseburger

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Sonic Twisted Texan Cheeseburger

I am always on board when an American fast food chain in a non-US location unveils its version of regional American fare.

Take, for instance, McDonald’s “Big America Burgers” in Japan. The most recent iteration of this popular offering gave Japanese consumers the Texas 2, the Idaho, the Miami, and the Manhattan burgers. Some of these have very reasonable — and dare I say interesting — inclusions. A hash brown on the Idaho burger, for example, is a particularly fetching choice. And then sometimes, something seems to get lost in translation. While I applaud the pastrami topping on the Manhattan, I’m a little perplexed by the mozzarella and “sour cream sauce.”

Ditto, McDonald’s “Great Taste of America” burgers, which have popped up multiple times in the UK, the most recent being 2019. While I am impressed that the “Alabama Chicken” has a white BBQ sauce, the “New York Stack” is all over the road by serving it on a sesame and poppy seed bagel (nice!), but topping it with “bacon, cheese, creamy coleslaw, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, and pickles.” Because nothing says “New York” like mixing up your coleslaw with ketchup, mustard, and cheese, right?

Sonic Twisted Texan Cheeseburger 1

Sonic’s “Twisted Texan” Burger (or footlong, quarter-pound hot dog, if you’d rather) doesn’t really come close to some of those weird combinations, to be sure, but it also isn’t very inspired. It is a regular quarter-pound beef patty on a regular bun, topped with its regular chili, a cheese slice, and “crispy onion strings.” Do these things work well together? Sure, I suppose so.

I’m on record as being a fan of Sonic’s patties, and I usually have good luck with its buns, too. Its chili — which is almost like a Coney-style chili-sauce, if you’ve never had it — is great on its dogs and tots, and it’s fine here. The single slice of cheese got lost in the mix, which ultimately made it inessential; a second slice might’ve added more oomph.

Sonic Twisted Texan Cheeseburger 2

Now that brings us to the onion strings.

While the first bite or two of the burger noticeably benefited from them, the “crispy” exterior of the strings quickly turned to mush, making the veggie indistinguishable in consistency and taste from the chili. I’m not sure how you combat this unless you use whole onion rings. (Which, you know, could’ve been done; I’m not sure that onion strings are any more or less “Texan” than onion rings.)

In the end, this is just an okay burger, but I’m not sure what screams “TEXAS!” about it, other than the red chili. Which, I mean, is sort of Texas-y? But it’s also something that you can get a really good bowl of just about anywhere. How could have Sonic made this more of a Texas thing? Oh, I don’t know… by putting it on Texas toast, perhaps? Or maybe adding brisket. Or a tiny little, sandwich-sized cowboy hat. Anything more than just “chili and onion strings.”

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1030 calories, 68 grams of fat, 17 gram of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1940 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 33 grams of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Caramel Brownie McFlurry

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McDonald s Caramel Brownie McFlurry Cup

While not as often as Dairy Queen Blizzards, McDonald’s has been mixing several new and exciting McFlurry offerings over the past few years. In 2019, we got stroopwafel and snickerdoodle McFlurry flavors. Last year, the Golden Arches introduced an Oreo Shamrock one in the spring and a Chips Ahoy variety in the fall.

And we gave them all positive reviews.

Well, I’m here to continue that thumbs ups streak in 2021 because right after scarfing down McDonald’s new Caramel Brownie McFlurry, I wondered how soon is too soon to get another.

The treat features caramel topping and brownie pieces mixed with soft serve. As you can see in the photos, the one I picked up looks like, well, let’s just say not as put together as the promotional photos I’ve seen. But, I believe there’s an ancient wise proverb that says, “Never judge a McFlurry by how it’s been mixed.”

McDonald s Caramel Brownie McFlurry Top

While mine looks like an explosion and fire happened at a Rolo factory that was brought under control by a herd of dairy cows shooting milk from their udders, that sticky mess in the cup was magnificent. But, let’s be honest, combining ice cream, caramel, and brownie pieces, no matter how it looks, has a scientifically proven 95 percent chance of tantalizing the taste buds.

McDonald s Caramel Brownie McFlurry Brownies

While caramel gets top billing in the name, the sweet stars of the show are the brownie pieces. They’re how the chocolatey treat should be — fudgy, dense, chewy, and able to sit in soft serve without getting soggy. They taste like a batch made from a boxed mix, but that’s not a complaint. The chunks are also plentiful. Almost every spoonful I scooped out had one in it.

McDonald s Caramel Brownie McFlurry Caramel

The buttery and sugary caramel topping McDonald’s uses isn’t too noticeable in this McFlurry because there are many brownies to contend with, so it plays less of a role in the treat. But the golden gloop adds a nice third texture that goes well with the chewy brownies and creamy ice cream.

My taste buds did notice a cheesecake-like tang every so often. It wasn’t off-putting, but I’m not sure where it came from.

McDonald’s Caramel Brownie McFlurry isn’t a transplant from a European country (though, it was available in Canada in 2017), doesn’t feature an iconic cookie, or has green food coloring, so it might not be as exciting as recent limited time flavors. But shoveling spoonfuls of it into my mouth excites my taste buds.

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: Regular
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 630 calories, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 280 milligrams of sodium, 101 grams of carbohydrates, 67 grams of sugar, 1 gram of fiber, and 13 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Primo Burritos

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Taco Bell Primo Burritos Innards

I am writing this in late April 2021. Outside, fat snowflakes are pelting my windows and coating all visible surfaces. The forecast called for at least three inches, and I suspect we’ll eclipse that. This springtime hellscape is currently testing my will to continue living in Kansas City, where snow should knock it the hell off no later than, oh, February.

I don’t like this test.

One test I do like, however, are test market items from fast food purveyors. And though we’re no Ohio, we’re currently the only spot in the nation with Taco Bell’s new Primo Burritos.

Taco Bell Primo Burritos Thick

I tried both the Loaded Taco Primo Burrito and Chicken Enchilada Primo Burrito. So, are these burritos primo? In a word, no. Not only are they both boring offerings that are short on flavor (though incredibly cheap for the size), they barely even qualify as “new.”

Taco Bell Primo Burritos Taco

The Loaded Taco Primo burrito comes with “seasoned beef, crunchy red tortilla strips, lettuce, reduced fat sour cream, and cheddar cheese.” And if that ingredient combo — and even the name — sounds familiar, it’s because, in 2017, Taco Bell offered the “Loaded Taco Burrito,” which was all of those same things PLUS avocado ranch sauce PLUS a double portion of beef. And do you know what would have made this burrito considerably better? Avocado ranch sauce and/or possibly more beef!

As presented, the burrito came up short in terms of taste. While the red tortilla strips remained crunchy, which was great for texture, they tasted indiscernible from the regular burrito shell. The seasoned beef was pretty skimpy (though, to be fair, this item was $1) and, you know, Taco Bell beef. The lettuce was warm and didn’t add anything, nor did the standard cheddar cheese. The sour cream was good, but it didn’t keep the burrito from being mostly dry.

Look, if you’ve eaten at Taco Bell, you’ve had this burrito in some form or another.

Taco Bell Primo Burritos Enchilada

This brings us to the Chicken Enchilada Primo Burrito. This new offering features white meat chicken strips, reduced fat sour cream, seasoned rice, enchilada sauce, and cheddar. And if you think THAT ingredient list sounds familiar, well… okay, so I don’t know that Taco Bell did this exact burrito before, but all the way back in olden times — from 2004-2007, then briefly resurrected in 2010 — it did a Chicken Enchilada Grilled Stuft Burrito. That was the same thing, except it had the patented three cheese blend instead of plain cheddar, and the whole thing was grilled. And you know what would have made this better? A three cheese blend and grilling!

If this all sounds like I’m simply trying to be an anti-Bell contrarian, I apologize; the fact of the matter is, this burrito, like its newborn sibling, was a boring rehash, something that, let’s face it, Taco Bell is prone to doing.

While the Enchilada burrito won’t be winning any awards, it was definitely better than the Taco version. The enchilada sauce — milder than any you’ve had before, but still decent — was mixed with the sour cream to ensure that dryness wasn’t a factor, and the seasoned rice kept everything from being too gloopy of a mess. Even still, this isn’t something I can imagine spending money on again.

In the end, neither one of these did much for me, nor can I imagine them sticking around for long. (If, in fact, they even ever get a national rollout.) Better luck next time, Taco Bell.

Purchased Price: $1.00 (Loaded Taco), $1.49 (Chicken Enchilada)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Loaded Taco), 6 out of 10 (Chicken Enchilada)
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Brownie Batter Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Brownie Batter Blizzard Cup

What is the Brownie Batter Blizzard?

This is one of the six flavors in the “New! Summer Blizzard Menu” from Dairy Queen. Only this flavor is not new (it has been released several times over the years), and only the recently reviewed Girl Scout Thin Mints Blizzard is truly new. But enough with semantics, let’s move on to discuss the BBB (Brownie Batter Blizzard), which contains brownies in both batter and piece form.

How is it?

Remember in school when you had to determine the average, median, and mode? This Blizzard is all of those blended into one. There’s nothing wrong with it, but the batter flavor doesn’t really come through with any distinction.

Dairy Queen Brownie Batter Blizzard Spoon

If I really try, I can pick out subtle flavor hints that remind me of brownie batter, but it mostly tastes like chocolate syrup or fudge flavoring. The brownie chunks are fine, but you could have convinced me they were chocolate cookie dough instead of brownie. I did enjoy the chewy texture of the pieces.

Dairy Queen Brownie Batter Blizzard Brownie

Anything else you need to know?

Even though this Blizzard is nothing special, it got me thinking…is there such a thing as a “bad” Blizzard? I’ve never had one, but if you mix ice cream with any type of candy, cookies, brownies, nuts, etc., then it’s going to at least be palatable. So I am hereby challenging DQ to raise their game and dive into the gross-out food trend we’ve seen with jelly beans, sodas, and the like. How about a ketchup and mustard Blizzard? Or pickles and onions? Just think of all the social media action you would get off those, DQ.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Brownie Batter Blizzard Top

If your bucket list includes trying every DQ Blizzard ever released, then I guess go ahead and give this one a whirl. But if not, then you are not missing out on much by picking another Blizzard variety.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 770 calories, 34 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 450 milligrams of sodium, 105 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 79 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

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