REVIEW: Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice

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When I first learned about Monster Energy’s Viking Berry Energy Juice, I thought “Viking berry” was a weird name for a fruit. But after commanding Siri to do some light research for me, like an unpaid intern, I learned that the fruit has an even more unusual but totally unmarketable name for a food product — chokeberries.

According to Wikipedia, “The name ‘chokeberry’ comes from the astringency of the fruits, which create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker.” Sadly, that is a disappointing and boring explanation of its name, which creates the sensation of making one’s mouth yawn.

Why couldn’t the reason for its name be something dark, chilling, and worthy of a Netflix documentary? For example, the fruit was responsible for the deaths of many sailors at sea when it was used as ammunition by Viking slingshot snipers who targeted the mouths of their enemies.

But after all that reading and Siri-ing, I’m confused about whether or not this contains Viking berries. The ingredients list mentions a trio of B-berry juices – black currant, blackberry, and bilberry – but no chokeberries. Not even the can’s copy says anything definite. Instead, the following is printed: “Inspired by Wild Nordic berries and Scandinavian fruit, Viking Berry blends real fruit juices and exotic flavors for a whole new taste experience.”

“Whole new taste experience,” eh?

Well, a distinct pattern of neurons in my brain started firing when I took a sip of this. But I can’t quite figure out why it tastes so familiar. While it’s not a whole new taste experience to me, it is in the Monster Juice line because almost all the new flavors over the past decade have been tropical flavored.

The red-ish purple Viking Berry Energy Juice has a mixed berry aroma and taste that leans towards blueberry and maybe red raspberry. Much like chokeberries, I’ve never had bilberries, so I wouldn’t know one even if it was shot down my throat by a slingshot sniper. It starts off a bit tart but has a sweeter finish. However, it’s not sour enough to create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker. It is tasty enough that I see this being a repeat purchase. Although, I can’t say I enjoy it more than some of the tropical Monster Energy Juice varieties.

Something else that came to mind while drinking this is that it has a Monster Ultra vibe to it. I might be the only one who thinks this, but even though there’s sugar in this (and some sucralose), I could confuse its flavor for a zero sugar Monster Ultra.

Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice may not contain actual chokeberries, but it has 160 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine and a berry delicious taste.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 49 grams of sugar (including 47 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Blue Hawaiian

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I just learned there’s a cocktail called the Blue Hawaiian, which is similar but shouldn’t be confused with the Blue Hawaii cocktail. I learned about it when looking up what’s in a Blue Hawaii for this review. I apologize for being so uneducated about blue alcoholic drinks. It makes me feel blue.

A Blue Hawaii, invented by a bartender in Waikiki, is made of rum, pineapple juice, blue curaçao, and sweet and sour mix. A Blue Hawaiian, which was influenced by the Blue Hawaii but created by someone somewhere else, is light rum, pineapple juice, blue curaçao, cream of coconut, and lemon juice. However, after scanning recipes and Wikipedia entries, I noticed that the latter has more pineapple juice and a green color.

So, is Monster Energy’s Ultra Blue Hawaiian trying to encapsulate the flavors of a Blue Hawaiian or a Blue Hawaii? With its Smurfy blue color, I’m going with the latter. However, its strong pineapple punch could convince me it’s the former.

Maybe what’s printed on the can will make things clearer.

Whether you’re in beast mode, vacay mode or just chillin’ island style, Ultra Blue Hawaiian will fire you up to be your best! Light, crisp, and super easy drinking with a tropical tiki twist, Blue Hawaiian is a killer combo of exotic Polynesian fruit flavors that are big on taste, but with zero sugar. With a full load of our world-famous Monster Energy Blend, this aloha energy will keep you goin’ and the shakas flowin’ from dawn patrol to last call.

Nope. That was no help.

What isn’t a nope is the tropical/pineapple flavor this has. It’s most definitely a yup and a yum. Also, it tastes better than Monster Energy’s Ultra Gold. In my review of that pineapple-flavored energy drink, I wrote that I wished its fruity flavor was a bit stronger, and Ultra Blue Hawaiian has a pineapple punch that I wished Ultra Gold had. But it’s not just pineapple flavors; there’s also a fruitiness that reminds me of tart blue raspberry. Or maybe its color is deceiving my tongue since the drink comes in the same hue as blue raspberry beverages. Whatever it is, it and the pineapple make this taste outstanding.

Despite being a sugar-free drink, it doesn’t taste like one. I know I keep saying that about every Monster Energy Ultra flavor that crosses my tongue, and I’ll probably copy and paste this paragraph into another Ultra review. However, I can’t help it because I’m still amazed at how a sugar-free drink can taste so good.

Monster Energy Ultra Blue Hawaiian has rocketed to the top of my favorite Monster Ultra flavors list. It doesn’t make me blue. It makes me want to yell, “Woo hoo!”

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Red Bull Pink Edition Wild Berries Energy Drink

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I was wracking my brain, trying to find the perfect song from Alecia Moore, aka Pink, to sum up my feelings about Red Bull’s new “The Pink Edition.” Surely, a pop star with such myriad hits would have something – some song, some lyric – to help me express how this wild berry energy drink made me feel.

Alas, my search came up empty. It didn’t make me want to “get the party started.” It didn’t make me want to “raise my glass.” It was not “(censored) perfect.” I did, however, find the opening “lyrics” of her smash hit, “So What,” appropriate:

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na
Na-na-na-na na-na –
… and so on and so forth…

Nah. This ain’t it.

Now that I got that extremely clunky reach for an intro out of the way, allow me to introduce “The Pink Edition,” which, in an ironic turn of events, is a real snoozefest from Red Bull.

The Pink Edition tastes of “wild berries,” which seems like a flavor profile Red Bull would have tackled by now, but apparently not. Whenever I have something “berry” flavored, I like to try and guess which berries are being used, so I took my first sip without research.

First of all, this isn’t even really pink. It’s more red. It’s too red. Anyway, flavor-wise, I assumed rasp, black, and one of cran, blue, or straw. The standards. Sometimes something crazy happens and brands sneak in a boysen or a snozz, but those are usually the main “mixed” berries.

The Pink Edition smells like Strawberry Jell-o but just kinda tastes like a slightly underripe raspberry. On the surface, that’s not bad, but there was also a strange chaser in there. I couldn’t pinpoint whatever berry it was, so I cheated and checked Red Bull’s official summarization:

“Raspberry and other fruits complemented with exciting herbal notes.”

It’s red, and it’s just one berry. This is literally red bull.

Ignoring how they just hand-waved the other potential fruits, THAT made sense. This has a slight herbal taste to it. It’s not very exciting, but it made me feel a very specific way. As just an everyday energy booster, I wouldn’t recommend this flavor at all. It’s one of the most middling Red Bulls I’ve had in ages.

That being said, if I was sick, I would absolutely love this. I don’t wanna jinx myself, but when I’m under the weather, I live on Ricola cough drops and drink ice cold seltzer almost exclusively. That’s what this tasted like – an herby fruity cough drop melted into a seltzer.

Does that appeal to anyone except sick me? I’d imagine it doesn’t. It’s maybe not as medicinal as I’m making it seem, but that herbal element really leans towards it.

So yeah, not great. Unless you’re a sicko like me, skip it. You’ll probably wanna pour this pink drink down the sink. I wish I had Alecia LESS of this flavor.

Yeah, that’s a bookend, I guess. Hmm, maybe I am getting sick.

Purchased Price: $2.38
Size: 8.4 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10 (8 out of 10 if I had a fever)
Nutrition Facts: 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 26 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Ultra Vice Guava

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Looking back at our Monster Ultra reviews, every single one has been positive. And, spoiler alert, I will give Monster Ultra Vice Guava another high rating. How high? You’ll just have to read on or scroll down to the bottom of this review.

Monster Ultra Vice Guava sounds like a video game collaboration between Fruit Ninja, Grand Theft Auto, and a Kaiju game. But it’s much better than calling it Ultra Red Orange. You see, before, Monster was all about using colors to name its zero sugar energy drinks: Blue, Black, Red, Violet, and Gold. But recently, it seems like a lot more thought has been put into them: Peachy Keen, Strawberry Dreams, Fantasy Ruby Red, and now this one.

Here’s what the can says:

“Miami has it all, mind-blowing Latin energy, premier racing from NASCAR to F1, and world class beaches with the hottest clubs right on the sand. Whether you’re an over-the-top partier or an undercover crime fighter in a pastel suit, T-shirt, and loafers-you gotta stay energized! From South Beach to Calle Ocho, looking good and feeling good is what it’s all about. With zero sugar to weigh you down, the fresh taste of perfectly ripened guava, and our world-famous Monster Energy Blend, Ultra Vice Guava has you covered!”

There’s definitely an 80s Miami Vice style going on with the can, thanks to the pink and teal colors and the graphics. What’s Miami Vice? It was a 1980s cop show that lasted for five seasons on NBC. I’m pretty sure it’s streaming somewhere. There was also a movie adaptation of the show in 2006 with the same name.

While the can’s design brings a very old show to mind, the drink’s flavor makes me think of Monster Juice Pipeline Punch, one of my favorite Monster Energy products of all time that has a mix of guava and passion fruit flavors. Vice Guava is straight-up guava, and if it wasn’t for its non-juice consistency, I might’ve been convinced this was part of the Monster Juice line based on its great tasting and natural flavor. Also, as I’ve experienced with other Ultra varieties, it’s hard to detect the artificial sweeteners.

Monster Ultra Vice Guava is another zero sugar energy drink winner, and it’s currently my favorite in the Ultra line.

DISCLOSURE: I wrote this review based on cans I purchased, but later received a free product sample from Monster. Getting it did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Red Bull Winter Edition Iced Vanilla Berry Energy Drink

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Red Bull says its new Winter Edition Iced Vanilla Berry combines the taste of blueberry, vanilla, and “icy-fresh” notes of eucalyptus. So koalas everywhere must be ecstatic about this flavor. Also, the mini bears could use some Red Bull because every time I’ve been to a zoo with koalas, they’re always sleeping.

There are many similarities between Red Bull’s Iced Vanilla Berry and . Let’s start with the can. Both mainly feature a light blue color, but the older one had a dark blue bull, while this can has a silver one. Inside both are beverages that look like what would happen if Gargamel finally got his hands on some Smurfs and made soup stock.

But the similarities don’t stop with looks. After tasting this new Winter Edition and rereading my Arctic Berry review, I can’t help but think Iced Vanilla Berry might just be a slight tweak of the older one.

First off, this has a wonderful cotton candy aroma, which I also experienced with Arctic Berry, and it made me believe I was about to treat my taste buds to a great-tasting energy drink. However, that smell didn’t translate into the beverage’s flavor. Instead, I got a tart blueberry taste that reminded me of the initial sips I took of Arctic Berry. If you didn’t read the review of the older Winter Edition, it’s supposed to be blue raspberry, which I eventually did taste, but at first, I thought I was drinking a blueberry-flavored beverage.

As for the vanilla, it’s not entirely noticeable. It’s like the vanilla you’d taste with Vanilla Coke, but not as strong, which is disappointing. If it had a more intense flavor, I think this would’ve been better than it was. Also, the berry and vanilla don’t stick around throughout every sip. When they fade, they’re replaced by that sour, medicinal finish that reminds me of regular Red Bull.

Red Bull Winter Edition Iced Vanilla Berry could’ve been a great flavor if it tasted as delicious as it smelled, but it’s a bit mid. It’s slightly better than Arctic Berry but less enjoyable than the most recent Winter Editions. But there’s one thing I can say about this newest version that I can’t say about any previous ones, and that’s if you’re a sleepy koala who’s looking for a sugar-free version of Iced Vanilla Berry, Red Bull has got you covered like a marsupial’s pouch.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 12 fl oz can
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 38 grams of sugar (including 38 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 114 milligrams of caffeine.

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