REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Peachy Keen

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Monster Energy Ultra Peachy Keen Cans

What is Monster Energy Ultra Peachy Keen?

It’s a peach-flavored addition to Monster Energy’s sugar-free Ultra line, which mainly has one-word product names like Gold, Watermelon, Fiesta, Rosa, Paradise, Violet, Red, Blue, and Black.

How is it?

Well, I’m happy to say that Peachy Keen is peachy-keen, jelly bean!

With the previously mentioned Ultra Gold, I felt the pineapple flavor wasn’t strong enough. But that’s not the case with this flavor that has a peachy punch that makes my oral portal perceive it’s packed with peach gummy rings.

I feel as if I’ve used that reference before with another peach-flavored energy drink, but I can’t help it because that’s EXACTLY what this tastes like, except in a liquid form that doesn’t stick to your teeth like gummy rings do.

Monster Energy Ultra Peachy Keen Closeup

I’m enamored with this energy drink so much that I’m a bit sad that I could only find it in 12-ounce slim cans. But I’ve seen images of it in the standard 16-ounce can. If you haven’t had a slim can Monster energy drink, this one has 110 milligrams of caffeine.

Also, although this is a sugar-free energy drink, I can imagine some might find this flavor to be a bit too sweet. I don’t, but others might.

Anything else you need to know?

Monster Energy Ultra Peachy Keen Design

The can’s design has a 60s motif with hippies, peace signs, flowers, smiley faces, and a love wagon. And the copy on the can’s side references the summer of love. Now, I wasn’t born in the 60s, but peachy-keen seems like it’s pre-hippie. Can some groovy person set me straight about that?

The first reference of the term “peachy-keen” happened in the 1950s. But the hippie movement in the US didn’t start until the mid-1960s. I know slang can survive decades because I use “rad” all the time, but was that the case with “peachy-keen”?

Also, I’m surprised this wasn’t called Peace Peach. Although, now that I think about it, I imagine that might cause the opposite of peace with Peace Tea’s peach flavor.

Conclusion:

Peachy Keen is a far out tasting addition to Monster’s Ultra line. It’s definitely one of my top three favorite Monster Ultra flavors. If you’re a fan of peach gummy rings and caffeine, this will satisfy your taste buds and bloodstream.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 12 oz cans (available in a multi-pack)
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 230 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 110 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Bang Whole Lotta Chocolata

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Bang Whole Lotta Chocolata Can

What is Bang Whole Lotta Chocolata?

After cranking out over 30 different flavors of highly caffeinated bubbly drinks, including varieties like Candy Apple Crisp, Sour Heads, and Rainbow Unicorn, Bang has taken on the one flavor I’m pretty sure I never wanted to drink — chocolate. Okay, okay, yes, chocolate milkshakes are great, but a clear-colored, sugar-free carbonated drink with 300 milligrams of caffeine marketed to gym rats? This is a doozy.

How is it?

It is…not good.

I’ve had most Bang flavors and absolutely consider myself a fan of the brand, but this is up there (down there?) with the worst of ‘em. I went into this experience with a lot of optimism, and my first sip wasn’t awful, but the more I drank it, the less I enjoyed what was coming out of the ice cold tall can.

Bang Whole Lotta Chocolata Pour

The most prominent and expected flavor is artificial chocolate, very similar to the classic cheap taste of a Tootsie Roll. After the chocolate comes a bit of creaminess, like a cream soda, and then a bizarre touch of sour on the finish. The libation gets perpetually more confusing and less appetizing as the sips go on. Sadly, there is no redemption arc in store for this villain of a drink.

Bang Whole Lotta Chocolata Glass

Anything else you need to know?

In the aftertaste, especially when assisted by a little burp, I tasted something bitter and hoppy like in an IPA beer. Toss that into the equation with the chocolate, cream, and sour, and this beverage is beyond confusing. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me there was booze in this.

Conclusion:

I’ve had a chocolate Coke at a restaurant when the bartender was doing his best to channel a 1950s soda jerk, and I’d like to think this is what Bang was trying to achieve this release, but sadly, this ain’t it. Whole Lotta Chocolata isn’t un-drinkable or repulsive, but it’s a whole lotta something I never want to buy again.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Lucky
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Red Bull Winter Edition Pomegranate Energy Drink

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Red Bull Winter Edition Pomegranate Can

I need to take a moment to mourn the passing of my all-time favorite Red Bull variety: Cranberry.

2012-2020

Cranberry Red Bull, just as I was beginning to get to know you, you suddenly left. Literally overnight, you packed your bags and were gone forever. Replaced by that tart Watermelon, you were the perfect Red Bull. I will forever miss you and just wished I could have said goodbye….or at least bought a case.

Seriously, Cranberry Red Bull just left the shelves with no warning. While the other flavors are fine, none have come close to filling Cranberry’s shoes. Even calling the Watermelon the “Red Edition” hurts to see and has led to a few moments of false hope. Usually, when seasonal versions are announced, they don’t catch my attention. This year’s Winter Edition, however, immediately caught my eye: Pomegranate.

Pomegranate-flavored foods tend to walk a very odd line flavor-wise. Real pomegranate tends to be naturally sweet but also quite tart with an earthy quality. As a result, fake pomegranate flavors are usually overly sweet to compensate for their tartness. I know that this flavor wouldn’t completely replace my beloved cranberry, but I had high hopes it would be in the same realm.

Red Bull Winter Edition Pomegranate Glass

The pomegranate scent was very strong when I opened it. Smelling it reminded me of those funky-shaped bottles of pomegranate juice. The earthy juice smell the fruit is known for was very pronounced. This was promising as it made me hopeful it wasn’t going to be cloying.

Well, I’m happy to report, it exceeded my expectations. It has a wonderful balance of tart pomegranate flavor that tingles my cheeks with enough sweetness to enhance the fruitiness. While it’s easy to enjoy as is, it’s certainly a drink that was made to be a mixer.

This Winter Edition doesn’t replace my precious Cranberry, but it’s easily the best flavored Red Bull that’s been released in quite some time. Pomegranate is a hard flavor to get right, and I think Red Bull managed to do so without it being too tart or too sweet. I can foresee this being a popular base for winter/holiday cocktails/mocktails. In fact, I think it would make a good faux-mosa (orange juice and Red Bull Pomegranate) for Christmas breakfast.

Purchased Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Size: 12 fl oz can
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 38 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 114 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: ZOA Energy Drink

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Zoa Energy Drink Cans

I will watch pretty much anything with Dwayne Johnson’s name attached to it, so I guess I will also drink anything with Dwayne Johnson’s name attached to it. Because here we are with me trying out the Original and Original Zero Sugar versions of an energy drink that he helped develop.

Well, it’s not as if he didn’t put on a sleeveless lab coat and helped formulate energy drink samples in his trailer between Fast & Furious takes.

ZOA is available in several flavors that I’m too lazy to look up. I decided to go for just the Original and Zero Sugar Original versions because if these are bad and I bought every variety, I didn’t want to experience the spectrum of horribleness, even if it has Mr. Johnson’s name on them.

But I’m happy to report that these are okay. I know that’s not a glowing endorsement, but flavor-wise there’s nothing unique about them.

Zoa Energy Drink Glasses

If a flavor dictionary existed, the “energy drink” entry would taste like this. Remember when energy drinks first started getting popular and brands were popping up everywhere, and most of them tried to emulate Red Bull’s sweet medicinal flavor? Well, these taste like something from one of those brands. Not exactly like Red Bull, but something Red Bull-esque and less cloying. Also, the sugar-free version (sweetened with sucralose and ace-K) tastes better than the one that has sugar. The Original one has an unpleasant extra medicinal bite at the back end that’s a bit off-putting.

So if these taste like energy drink’s early years, what separates this from others, besides possibly being formulated using Dwayne Johnson’s arms as an industrial mixer? For one, it’s marketed as a “healthy” energy drink.

What does that mean?

Well, I’ll just copy over what it says on the ZOA website. It’s made with Camu-Camu berries and Acerola Cherries that provide 100% of your daily Vitamin C and antioxidants. Branched-Chain Amino Acids are added to help with muscle growth, electrolytes are included to keep you hydrated, and choline is in them to boost metabolism. Vitamins B1, B2, B6, and B12 are also included. Finally, it uses natural caffeine, which means it gets it from green tea and green, unroasted coffee beans.

Cool?

Original and Original Zero Sugar ZOA Energy Drinks are decent tasting ways to get 160 milligrams of caffeine into my body. But I’d probably only repurchase the sugar-free one again. Also, because they aren’t horrible, I’m curious about the other flavors.

Purchased Price: $2.49 each
Size: 16 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Original), 6 out of 10 (Zero Sugar Original)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Original – 100 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 22 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein Zero Sugar Original – 15 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit Energy Drink

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Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit Energy Drink Can

As far as I’m concerned, it ain’t summer until Red Bull says it is.

Well, good news, that new Red Bull Summer Edition just dropped, and we are now in the midst of a Dragon Fruit summer.

Ah yes, dragon fruit, the magical fruit that hatched into my life about twenty years ago. We’ve all probably tasted dragon fruit in some form, but none of us have actually ever eaten a dragon fruit. Yes, I speak for everyone here. You’ve never had a dragon fruit, nor has anyone you know. If you dispute this claim, I regret to inform you that you are living a lie.

My introduction to dragon fruit – which should be one word – was in the early 2000s when I went through a 2 bottle a day Vitamin Water Power-C phase. Remember when we lied to ourselves about the health benefits of Vitamin Water, only to find out it was essentially melted Skittles with good marketing?

Well, I’m drinking a Red Bull, so I guess times haven’t really changed.

Anyway, I loved the flavor and was pretty pumped to see Red Bull utilizing the fiery fruit of legend.

Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit Energy Drink Label

I found the green can to be an odd choice, but then figured it was probably a tribute to the cosmic beings who brought dragonfruits to this planet. Because if you’ve ever seen an artist’s rendering, it’s clearly alien.

Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit Energy Drink Purple

When I cracked the can to a welcoming hiss, I was met with the wafting scent of an Ocean Spray mixed juice cocktail. It looked like one too. The cough medicine purple-ish color was possibly the darkest I’ve seen in an energy drink.

As far as the flavor goes, it brought me right back to those Vitamin Water days. It’s extremely vibrant and spritzy as you’d expect. The dragonfruit taste smacks you in the face at first, but transitions into an unripened berry sourness. I’d say it was almost like a mix of unripened strawberry and raspberry.

Unripe berries are a major buzzkill for me, but the flavor works in an energy drink. I’ve had some Red Bull flavors that left me flat and unsatisfied, but this one really did “revitalize my body and mind.®”

It started sweet, got sour, and finished with a Strawberry Life-Saver aftertaste.

I’d say dragonfruit is the perfect flavor to represent summer because it made me wanna cannonball into the nearest body of water.

For a fake fruit that looks like a pink fireball stuffed with vanilla bean ice cream, dragonfruit really does have a great flavor that definitely works in carbonated form.

Perhaps I will one day trek out into whatever treacherous jungle dragonfruits allegedly grow in and partake of the fruit itself, but for now, I’ll just pick up another can.

Red Bull Summer Edition Dragon Fruit Energy Drink Glass Can

This Red Bull gave me wings… and also an earworm because, for some reason, I’ve been singing “Red Bull, Red Bull” to the tune of David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel” since I drank it. I hope I can now pass that on to you, my fellow dragonfruit non-eaters.

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 12 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of total carbohydrates, 38 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

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