REVIEW: Starbucks Chocolate Java Mint Frappuccino

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Mint can be a tough flavor to nail. It’s nearly always refreshing, but too much of it tends to become reminiscent of toothpaste. This is the downfall of a lot of mint chocolate ice creams. It’s not impossible though. Wendy’s did a great job with its Peppermint Frosty during the holidays last year. It somehow managed to perfectly replicate the taste of an Andes mint, despite the fact that the Frosty contained no chocolate. I’m still wondering what foul sorcery Wendy’s used to pull THAT off.

But enough about Frosties. We are here for Starbucks’ new Chocolate Java Mint Frappuccino today. Frappuccinos are too indulgent for me to consume on a regular basis, so I was excited to have the opportunity to drink one with zero guilt…well, minimal guilt. Normally I prefer my fancy coffee drinks without whipped cream and sprinkles, but here that’s a big part of the experience, so I had the whole Megillah. I hope you appreciate the way I’m gallantly falling onto the sword for all of you here.

I had this twice. The first time I got it, the barista didn’t add the mocha to the drink, and it was an assault of pure mintiness. I didn’t realize a component had been left off, so I thought it was supposed to taste like that, totally chocolate-deficient and toothpaste flavor-adjacent. I was prepared to give it a 5 out of 10, but then we realized the drink had been made incorrectly, so I bought another one at a different Starbucks. This time, I watched the barista make it. You better believe I watched her squeeze that mocha bottle.

The result? What a difference some chocolate makes, although I think we all kinda knew that already. With the chocolate, the drink still had some of the refreshing quality of mint, but it was tempered by the earthy, indulgent flavor of the chocolate. If anything, this incarnation of the drink leaned too far in the chocolate direction, which I say with the caveat that I don’t think “too much chocolate” can be considered a downside.

The Frappuccino chips did their thing and added little pops of a different chocolate flavor, and while I only was able to eat the Chocolate Mint Cookie Sprinkles at the finish, they were delightful little bits of cookie goodness. The one drawback this drink had was that neither time did I really get the taste of coffee. I tasted it in a few sips the first time, then the second time, my palate was so overloaded with the other components that I couldn’t taste coffee at all. A lot of people may not care, but I like my Frappuccinos to taste like coffee.

Hot days are coming, and this drink will probably make a lot of Starbucks customers very happy with its ability to be both cooling and just a little bit sinful. Personally, though, I’m getting a plain Coffee Frappuccino next time: I’m just missing the “Java” that was supposed to be in the Chocolate Java Mint.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: Tall
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 340 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 47 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, and 75 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Butter Pecan Crunch Frozen Coffee

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Remember years ago when Dunkin’ used to have a drink called the Coffee Coolatta? Remember how it was the perfect level of sweetness, with just enough pure coffee flavor to scratch that itch for the real stuff without ever descending into bitterness?

If you don’t remember, you may be familiar with Dunkin’s Frozen Coffee, the drink it introduced to replace the Coffee Coolatta in 2017. In theory, Frozen Coffee has a more pronounced coffee flavor and is supposed to be an all-around better concoction. However, I just tried one on a whim a few weeks ago and found the coffee taste too sharp (and I’m someone who often drinks black coffee), while the whole thing danced just below the level of being sickeningly sweet. Maybe I got a bad batch, but it was just too much of a good thing. I appreciate what Dunkin’ was trying to do, but I miss my Coolatta something fierce.

Now, with the Butter Pecan Crunch Frozen Coffee, is it time for me to make peace with this new reality? According to Dunkin’, the drink has Frozen Coffee, Butter Pecan Swirl syrup, and Cocoa Caramel Sprinkles. The beverage is topped with whipped cream, caramel drizzle, and “even more” Cocoa Caramel sprinkles. I didn’t really taste the sprinkles in the drink itself, however.

At first, the drink had that pronounced coffee flavor that I didn’t enjoy with my previous Frozen Coffee. “I knew I couldn’t trust this blasted Frozen Coffee!” I thought, dejected. But as I sipped, something began to happen; the gentle sweetness of the Butter Pecan Swirl syrup tempered the flavor, creating a more mild, almost original Coolatta-like flavor. The flavor addition definitely had some butteriness, but I didn’t really get a nuttiness. I think the overall sweetness might have overwhelmed my palette to the point that I couldn’t really taste anything subtle.

Overall, I liked this so much that I slurped it down really fast and got a stomachache; hey, it’s hard to be a sweets fan with limited tummy real estate. The consequence of this though is that the whipped cream didn’t have time to melt that much, so I was drinking pure whipped cream through a straw by the end. While sucking up the whipped cream, I got the sprinkles, representing the “crunch” in the title.

I don’t know if it would have been a significantly different experience if I consumed it more slowly; maybe if the whipped cream had more time to melt, I would have got the sprinkles in the drink, making for a more “crunchy” treat. However, the Frozen Coffee itself is pretty dense; it’s not like waiting for your whipped cream to melt into a latte, where it can easily disappear into the drink and mix with it. I would say that I’m going to buy it again to investigate this melting theory, but let’s be honest: if I repurchase it, I’ll just shove it all into my face really fast again.

While I personally could do without the whipped topping and just enjoy the drink itself, this is a delightful indulgence. Even so, I still want the original Coffee Coolatta back. Is that so wrong?

Purchased Price: $4.09
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 630 calories, 22 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 103 grams of carbohydrates, 97 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew

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Starbucks, you’ve done it again! Another cold brew to your lineup, and another winner.

Here for spring is the White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew. New to the party are a macadamia syrup (added to the coffee) and a macadamia cream in the cold foam with a toasted cookie topping to cap it off.

The first thing I noticed when I grabbed this was how creamy it looked – I’d like to thank my barista for clearly acing the cold brew to cold foam ratio. The cold foam was already settling nicely into the drink. There was also a generous amount of the toasted cookie topping.

This might be one of the smoother-tasting cold brews I’ve had from Starbucks lately. I was delighted at first sip with its smoothness, and the macadamia brings a nice subtle sweetness. A little internet research tells me the flavor of macadamia nuts pairs well with coffee, so it’s no wonder it tasted good. For those unfamiliar with the nut, they tend to be a little buttery in taste, so there is no need to worry about a nuttiness overpowering your coffee. I was honestly surprised to see this had 20 grams of sugar in a tall, as it wasn’t very sweet at all.

I’ve mentioned this in some of my past Starbucks reviews, but I’m not the fastest cold coffee drinker. But because of that, I’m able to report that the toasted cookie topping stayed in the cold foam as I sipped my beverage. And from the time stamp on my drink to the time I finished, that was two hours! I really appreciated that it didn’t sink in, and I still got some with the cold foam at every sip. All that said, and much like I’ve felt with other Starbucks toppings, this one didn’t have much of an independent flavor to it. The toppings always seem like a nice-to-have, but they don’t enhance the drink’s flavor profile.

I’m definitely adding this new cold brew to my rotation, and I hope it hangs around for a while!

Purchased Price: $4.75
Size: Tall
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of protein, and 145 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Bakery Series Canned Iced Coffee

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Dunkin’ has released three new canned iced coffees inspired by its bakery offerings to excite pastry and coffee aficionados alike. The Bakery Series includes the Brownie Batter Donut, Cake Batter Donut, and Coffee Cake Muffin iced coffees. Will they be able to capture the essence of their namesake baked good and turn it into a caffeinated treat?

As a coffee snob who is also an absolute garbage person who will drink any swill if it has enough sugar and cream, I appreciate that Dunkin’ can straddle that line. While my Technivorm Moccamaster demands to be fed Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and gives me the side-eye if I drink it any way but black, I think Dunkin’ offers a good quality brew that can be doctored up without ruining it.

The three pale brown beverages are very sweet with a cream flavor, and the coffee flavor is mild. The dominant taste can be guessed from the names: Chocolate Brownie and Cake Batter Donut taste like chocolate and vanilla, respectively, and Coffee Cake Muffin tastes like cinnamon.

The issue with these three has nothing to do with the flavor, which is good if uninspired, and everything to do with the over-ambitious naming. Dunkin’ has released a Brownie Batter Donut that featured a thick, batter-like filling that was distinct from their run-of-the-mill chocolate crème. But how do food scientists translate chocolate filling, much less chocolate brownie batter filling into an iced coffee that’s not simply chocolate flavored? They mostly don’t.

To the extent that these beverages have a flavor other than plain chocolate, vanilla, and cinnamon, it’s of additives used to replicate the ineffable “batter” and “muffin” essence. The result tastes good when gulped down, but slightly off-putting if you stop to study it, especially with the plainer cake batter flavor. Vanilla lets more weird science-y flavor through.

Vanilla, chocolate, and cinnamon coffee are classics for a reason, and that’s mostly what these are. Dunkin’s reach exceeded its grasp in attempting to capture a pastry in a can, but the result is still an enjoyable coffee experience.

Purchased Price: $2.49 each
Size: 11 oz cans (325 ml)
Purchased at: Woodman’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 mg milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar (including 22 grams added sugar), and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Caramel Cold Brew M&M’s

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Can you ever have too much coffee and chocolate? M&M’s doesn’t think so, and the brand rarely steers me wrong. I recently reviewed and loved Espresso M&M’s, so another coffee-flavored variety came as a welcome surprise to this candy fiend. This time, the flavor inspiration is Caramel Cold Brew, represented in the milk chocolate M&M’s through coffee flavor and a chewy caramel center.

(For coffee novices, cold brew is made by steeping coarse ground coffee beans in cool water for long periods of time. The resulting concentrate is diluted with water or milk and can be served cool or hot with various flavorings. For coffee aficionados, the ingredients list includes natural and artificial flavoring, so I can’t speak to what extent the cold brewing process was honored during the production of these M&M’s. Rage as you must.)

Even though caramel filling is not new to M&M’s, I was surprised to find the chewy center rather than a caramel-flavored chocolate core. I do not think of texture when I think of cold brew. If you are chewing your cold brew, you might want to double check the expiration date of the milk you added to it.

Luckily, chewy caramel centers are delicious, so I couldn’t hold the choice against the M&M’s. Also, the caramel appears to be doing double duty here by holding the coffee flavor. The milk chocolate tastes like the standard chocolate component of a Plain or Peanut M&M, while the caramel has a robust, bitter-edged coffee flavor. I determined this after several rounds of carefully nibbling the chocolate off one M&M, then tasting its center separately. This process made me look like a hamster cracking apart a sunflower seed with its wee teeth, but that’s showbiz, baby.

However you eat Caramel Cold Brew M&M’s, the experience is interesting. There is an initial strong burst of coffee flavor that pairs beautifully with the chocolate and caramel. As you work the caramel center, the coffee taste fades, and the buttery glory of the caramel takes over, retaining a hint of coffee flavor. If you asked me to guess, I would have wondered if the world had been granted Kettle Corn M&M’s. The hint of coffee deeply flavors the caramel and gives it a brown butter or toffee vibe that lasts for most of the eating experience. The caramel paradoxically provides and dilutes the coffee flavor, but I guess I’d rather have my coffee diluted by caramel than by an ice cube that could sink the Titanic.

That initial coffee burst, though, removes all doubt of the product’s intention. The coffee aftertaste is also really strong, as though I spent all day drowning my sorrows in my favorite cafe, which I’m not scheduled to do until later in the week.

Like Caramel M&M’s, these candies are on the larger side and come in a rainbow of colors (no coffee-colored shells here). If you love that product, the enhanced flavor of Caramel Cold Brew M&M’s will pep you up come snack time or coffee break.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: 9.05 oz (256.6 g) stand up pouch
Purchased at: Target.com
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1 oz serving, or about 11 candies) 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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