REVIEW: Starbucks Vanilla Almondmilk Frappuccino

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Starbucks Vanilla Almondmilk Frappuccino

What is the Starbucks Vanilla Almondmilk Frappuccino?

Imagine a bottled Starbucks Frappuccino with, instead of reduced fat and skim milk, a liquid made from almonds that are treated as if someone is trying to extract top secret information from it. They’re drowned, chopped into tiny pieces, and then drowned again.

Besides this vanilla flavor, there’s also a mocha version.

How is it?

Full disclosure: I drink almond milk. More specifically, organic Silk Almondmilk from Costco that comes in a pack with three half-gallons, which I drink even though there’s a Silk’s Vanilla Soymilk multi-pack that’s cheaper and better tasting. I mention that to show I have no issues with the nut milk.

With that said, Starbucks’ Vanilla Almondmilk Frappuccino is something I wouldn’t buy again. At first, it’s decent coffee drink. But in the middle of every sip, a weird, acrid taste pops up in my mouth. It’s similar to what I experienced with

I’m not sure if it’s the nut milk that’s causing this or something else because the Smoked Butterscotch Latte doesn’t have almond milk and I also recently tried

Is there anything else you need to know?

Because the almond milk tends to be thinner than cow milk or soy milk, I thought this would also be that way. But thanks to our friends carrageenan and cellulose gum, it’s as thick and creamy as regular bottled Frappuccino beverages.

Some of you astute readers might’ve noticed I’ve used two different spellings for almond milk. When used in product names, I’ll respect the one-word spelling, but I’m on Team #AlmondSpaceMilk and used the two-word spelling for all other instances. Eh, maybe I’m just a fuddy-duddy.

Conclusion:

Starbucks’ Vanilla Almondmilk Frappuccino has fewer calories and fat than its dairy version, but its flavor makes it my least favorite bottled nut milk coffee drink. Thankfully, there are better options from Starbucks.

Purchased Price: $2.89
Size: 13.7 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 180 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Frappuccino with a Splash of Cold Brew

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Starbucks Frappuccino with Cold Brew Salted Dark Chocolate and Toasted White Chocolate

What are Starbucks Frappuccino with Cold Brew?

Bottled beverages that mostly contain brewed Starbucks coffee with a splash of Starbucks cold brew coffee, reduced fat milk, skim milk, and sugar. The line debuted with three flavors — Salted Dark Chocolate, Toasted White Chocolate, and Caramelized Vanilla Honey. The review below is for the first two.

How are they?

The good news is that they taste like bottled Starbucks Frappuccino, which is perfectly fine because I happen to like the line as a whole.

However, the flavors are so nondescript among other ready-to-drink Starbucks beverages that I could secretly pour the Toasted White Chocolate one into a bottle of Starbucks Mocha White Chocolate Frappuccino or a can of Starbucks Vanilla Doubleshot Energy and the Salted Dark Chocolate one in a bottle of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino or a can of Starbucks Mocha Vanilla Doubleshot Energy, then hand it to you, and you wouldn’t know any better after taking a sip.

I notice a slight saltiness with the dark chocolate one, but I can’t tell there’s cold brew in either flavor. But we have no idea how much a “splash of cold brew” is. It doesn’t sound like much, though.

Even though these are creamy, sweet, and delicious bottled coffee beverages, I find these Starbucks Frappuccinos with Cold Brew to be dumb. What? I’m dumb? No, you’re dumb, Starbucks Frappuccinos with Cold Brew.

A “splash of cold brew” in a beverage that already contains coffee sounds like adding a splash of tap water to seltzer. There’s a difference between the two, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. If it had only cold brew, then that would be significant.

Is there anything else you need to know?

If I didn’t know PepsiCo makes these and that the PepsiCo Beverage Facts website exists, I might’ve had a hard time finding out how much caffeine these have, which is 95 milligrams in each one. The glass bottles don’t mention anywhere this critical information that caffeine-needy minds want to know.

Conclusion:

If you’re a regular bottled Starbucks Frappuccino beverage drinker, you’ll enjoy these. But if you’re expecting something different from what you’ve been already drinking, these may disappoint you.

Purchased Price: $2.63 each
Size: 13.7 fl. oz. bottles
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Salted Dark Chocolate)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Toasted White Chocolate)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) Salted Dark Chocolate – 260 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 43 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein. Toasted White Chocolate – 290 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 44 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Nescafe Coffee Protein Smoothies

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Nescafe Coffee Protein Smoothies

As someone who likes to smoosh things together if it makes my life a little more efficient, like shaving in the shower, binge-watching Netflix in the shower, or eating in the shower, I like the idea of products that attempt to do the same. That is why I’m intrigued by Nescafe’s new Coffee Protein Smoothies.

As you can tell by its name, it’s java and protein mixed in the same bottle. The coffee is 100 percent Colombian Arabica, while the 15 grams of protein each bottle comes from pea and brown rice proteins. They’re also made with oats and almond butter and are available in two varieties — Banana and Mocha.

Nescafe Banana Coffee Protein Smoothie

With the former, I kind of taste banana, but for some reason, it seems mostly mocha-ish to me, which is weird because there isn’t any chocolate (and because there’s a Mocha variety). Maybe the combination of bananas and coffee give off a chocolate vibe? I dunno, but I enjoyed it, and I was a little sad after I was done with the bottle.

Nescafe Mocha Coffee Protein Smoothie

Now if you’re putting two and two together and thinking the Mocha one will taste like a Nesquik and Nescafé baby, it does not. It has a darker chocolate flavor, which might be that way because of the coffee’s bitterness. It has a somewhat similar taste as other mocha beverages I’ve had, but I did enjoy it.

I was expecting these to be chalky because of the oats, but they’re mostly smooth. Yes, there’s a negligible grittiness, which I imagine will turn off some of you. But I’m okay with it because I thought they’d be as unpleasantly gritty as

One minor quibble I have with these is that after scanning all 360 degrees of both bottles, I have no idea how much caffeine it provides. It says it has an amount of coffee equivalent to eight fluid ounces, but that just gives me a wide range of how much caffeine it could have. But, I felt a little energized after drinking them, and I guess that’s all that really matters.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. Although, it totally seems like it. But I assure you it did not.

Purchased Price: FREE (retails for $3.49)
Size: 11 oz. bottles
Purchased at: Received from Nestle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) Banana – 170 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein. Mocha – 180 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Java Monster Swiss Chocolate

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Java Monster Swiss Chocolate

What is the Java Monster Swiss Chocolate?

It promises “the taste of Swiss chocolate paired with premium coffee and cream and supercharged with our Monster Energy Blend.” It’s currently a Dollar General exclusive flavor.

How is it?

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate 2

When poured, the color is the same as heavily creamed coffee, with a scent to match. The java flavor is strong without being overpowering. It’s not as tooth-cracklingly sweet as some other pre-made coffee beverages I’ve had, though it still has a “syrupy” character.

As a regular energy drink consumer, I’m on the lookout for that medicinal energy drink aftertaste, the one that makes it seem like the manufacturer crushed up a multivitamin into your drink. I detect some, but it’s so small that it could easily be a sense memory of the hundreds of other energy drinks I’ve had.

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate 3

The chocolate flavor is very slight. I don’t want to alarm you, but it’s possible the chocolate element in this beverage actually has no connection at all to Switzerland, and “Swiss” was added to the name in an attempt to brand the product as more exotic and exciting than it really is. Shocking, I know. There’s so little of it here that I don’t think it deserves top billing, naming-wise.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I usually drink my coffee hot, so I was curious what would happen if I heated this in the microwave for a few seconds. I’m secretly hoping the added thermal energy will have some strange alchemical effect and transmute the Monster Energy Blend into a Jekyll/Hyde concoction, allowing me to unleash the beast within.

Alas, the beast must remain chained, as heating only has the effect of making it hotter. If anything, the heat distracts from the already very slight Monster Energy Blend flavor, turning this into a plain hot cup of joe.

Conclusion:

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate delivers a decent coffee flavor with a slight chocolate note. It’s not bad but doesn’t separate itself from a hundred other options.

Purchased Price: $2.10
Size: 15 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Dollar General
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 210 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 500 milligrams of potassium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 35 of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Cinnamon Shortbread Latte

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Starbucks Cinnamon Shortbread Latte

What is the Starbucks Cinnamon Shortbread Latte?

Starbucks has a new winter beverage up for grabs – the Cinnamon Shortbread Latte. The name just makes it seem cozy! The drink adds a vanilla shortbread sauce to espresso, and it is sprinkled with both cinnamon and nutmeg.

How is it?

Oh Starbucks, you’ve done it again. The minute I saw it added to the menu, I had to try it and was not disappointed. Consider the Cinnamon Shortbread Latte the love child of a Vanilla Latte and a Cinnamon Dolce Latte. – why didn’t Starbucks think of this sooner?

There’s a distinct cinnamon smell right off the bat thanks to the toppings of cinnamon and nutmeg. I will note: The cinnamon smell was definitely stronger than the taste. At first sip, the drink was smooth, warm, and not too sugary sweet. I enjoy the classic Vanilla Latte, and what I loved about this new drink was the extra pizazz the vanilla shortbread sauce added. I’d be interested in trying the sauce in an iced coffee as well – I’m hoping it sticks around beyond the winter.

Is there anything else you need to know?

If you enjoy vanilla and cinnamon, there’s no reason you shouldn’t try this drink. It’s also offered as a Frappuccino or an iced drink. I’m hoping to try both. And since it’s Girl Scout Cookie season, I’m tempted to pair this with the Trefoil cookies for an epic shortbread treat.

Conclusion:

Run, don’t walk to your nearest Starbucks. Trust me.

Purchased Price: $4.45
Size: Tall
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Tall 12 fl oz) 270 calories, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 30 grams of sugars, 10 grams of protein and 75 milligrams of caffeine.

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