3 Other Things I Consumed This Week: 11/21/2025

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Hillshire Farm Turkey & Bacon Ciabatta Deli Sandwiches

I don’t own an air fryer, so I can’t give you the 411 on how crispy this sandwich can get. However, I do have a microwave that, according to the box, will create a softer sandwich, so beep beep boop!

Before I comment on how this sandwich tastes, I must mention how it’s constructed. Obviously, everything is frozen — the provolone cheese, oven-roasted turkey, hickory-smoked bacon, chipotle aioli, and ciabatta roll. However, they’re not stacked nicely. A good portion of the cheese protruded from under the bun, and the frozen disc of chipotle aioli sat on one side of the sandwich. So when I microwaved the first one, most of the cheese melted onto the paper towel I was instructed to wrap around the sandwich, and the chipotle aioli ended up in one corner of the sandwich.

So if you happen to buy this or any of the other varieties, I’d highly suggest, after the suggested defrost time, repositioning the slightly less frozen ingredients so you can achieve a better balance. And that was your Public Service Announcement for the day.

Okay, now how does this taste? Good enough for a frozen sandwich. The bread, surprisingly, wasn’t dried out or tough to bite through, which has haunted previous microwave sandwiches. Between that bread was a decent portion of turkey that ended up a bit dry and tasted overly salty. Bacon did what bacon does and added some smokiness and porky flavors. The provolone was surprisingly noticeable for a mild cheese, and the chipotle aioli kicked up the flavor a few notches with its smoky, peppery notes. 

Stacking issues aside, Hillshire Farm’s Turkey & Bacon Ciabatta Deli Sandwich is a decent tasting offering that has gotten me curious about the other varieties. It’s $6 for two, they’re ready in under 4 minutes, and each provides 25 grams of protein.

Unwell Frosted Cranberry Energy Drink

Is it just me, or does someone else have Matchbox 20 pop into their head whenever they see an Unwell product? 

This seasonal energy drink has 150 milligrams of caffeine from green coffee extract, and like Unwell Water, it has 745 milligrams of electrolytes and contains no artificial sweeteners. Actually, I think this is the company’s first energy drink.

Maybe because it comes in a can and it’s an energy drink, I thought the beverage would be carbonated, but it’s not. Because it’s not carbonated, its cranberry flavor is decent, and it’s not too tart, I found it easy to drink. However, I don’t taste anything that could be considered “frosted.” Or maybe “frosted” was added to the name to make it sound wintery. 

While it tastes fine and I could see it coming back next year, I don’t think it’s delicious enough to make me want to repurchase it if it does.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies

Vin already covered this with a full review, but I wanted to add my two cents here. These cookies were good. I thought the speculoos cookie butter flavor was mild, but noticeable. I was disappointed that the cookie’s filling didn’t have a texture similar to cookie butter. Instead, it had the same snap as the chips in the cookie.

However, after going through half of the package, I came across the warming instructions, which involved heating a cookie or two on a plate for a few seconds. Those suggestions made the cookies better in my opinion. The speculoos flavor popped much more, and some of the cookie filling had melted a bit. So beep beep boop, if you decide to buy these cookies.

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REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies

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Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies package

What inspires you?

Your family? Money? The prospect of a long and fruitful life?

Boring! How cliché!

Chips Ahoy! has the right idea when it comes to inspiration because they’re only inspired by one thing this holiday season – Cookie Butter!

Some twenty years after the advent of pulverized Speculoos cookie spread, Chips Ahoy! is finally dipping its chips into the world of cookie butter with its new Chewy Chips Ahoy! Cookie Butter (Inspired.)

If you’re wondering what “Speculoos” means, it’s a portmanteau of the words “speculation” and “looky-loo.” Perhaps it’s best you stop being so nosy, you speculoos.

Actually, speculoos are thin spiced Belgian wafers and the centerpiece of cookie butter. I apologize for calling you nosy.

… but speaking of nosy – these Chips Ahoy! smell incredible!

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies package peeled back

I’ll be honest, Chips Ahoy! Cookies are a mixed bag for me, so I was a bit of a speculoo myself when I saw the folks at Mondelez tackling this flavor profile. The aroma instantly sold me. They smell like 25% gingerbread and 75% fresh pancakes. I’ve been huffing the sleeve for days. It’s getting weird.

Taste begins at your schnoz, right? Surely these scent-sations must taste amazing?

They taste pretty good, but dare I say uninspired?

It’s a nice random sweet cookie, but severely lacking cookie butter flavor.

Top view of Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies

I’m sure you’re all familiar with Biscoff cookies and know what they taste like. They have what I just call a “winter spice” flavor. It’s that concoction of every spice in your Lazy Susan – cinnamon, clove, cardamom, nutmeg, etc. Maybe not all, but you know what I’m saying. They’re delicious. I’m a big fan.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies middle

These Chips Ahoy! are tasty but… lack taste. They’re at most about 20% “cookie butter.” They don’t claim to use Biscoff or any cookie similar, but they don’t taste like ‘em anyway. They’re inspired by cookie butter in the same way this review I’m “writing” is technically inspired by the collective works of Bill Shakespeare.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies split

The fatal flaw here is in the namesake – the ahoy… no, wait, the chips. Cookie Butter flavored cookies shouldn’t have chips, especially chips that are inexplicably white chocolate, I think? White chocolate inspired at least.

The white chips taste fine, but they’re unnecessary. There is a layer of inspiration in the middle of the cookie that has a little bit of a “gingerbready” flavor when isolated, but it’s no match for the overpowering chips. I guess you just can’t be Chips Ahoy! without chips, but then why do the white chips?

It’s weird — these don’t taste like they should, or like anything, really, and I still like them.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Cookie Butter Inspired Cookies recipes

The best I can tell you is that the “holiday spice” flavor is there, but extremely muted. No one on Earth would ever guess “cookie butter” in a blind taste test. They’d probably say, “uhhh, cookie. Cookie flavor? It tastes like a cookie.” Did Chips Ahoy! just think cookie butter tasted like generic cookie?

There just wasn’t nearly enough inspiration with this flavor. The speculoos over at Chips Ahoy! should’ve probably just stuck to what they know. That said, it’s still a good cookie-tasting cookie.

Purchased Price: $4.97

Size: 9.9 oz

Purchased at: Walmart

Rating: 6 out of 10

Nutrition Facts: (2 Cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, 0 grams of dietary fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Chewy Ice Cream Sandwich Inspired Cookies

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Chips Ahoy! has brought us a special summer edition of its Chewy line, and it is Ice Cream Sandwich-inspired. The cookies are regular Chewy Chips Ahoy! with a vanilla creme filling (which is about as basic as you can possibly get). These are exclusive to Walmart.

At room temperature, these cookies are really tasty. It’s hard to go wrong with chocolate chip cookies, but the vanilla creme doesn’t do much.

The packaging says to “Chill for a Treat!” So I tried them frozen. And in that case, they were more reminiscent of ice cream sandwiches, though the texture of the cookies was a little less enjoyable. The frozen filling’s flavor seems a little more noticeable when it’s cold.

And, of course, I had to know if these ice cream sandwich cookies work for ice cream sandwiches. They do, but just because they’re cookies. The filling just gets lost with all the textures when I add ice cream. To be honest, any old cookie would do.

Speaking of filling, I’ve noticed that the distribution is uneven. Some bites have a good quantity of vanilla creme, while others have only little.

I enjoy Chips Ahoy Chewy Ice Cream Sandwich Inspired Cookies, but there’s nothing special about them. I don’t know why the folks at Mondelez bothered to pay the graphic designer to brand them as “summer edition” with a surfboard and summer iconography. If they want to convince me these are a summer treat, they’ll have to come up with something more creative.

Purchased Price: $4.78
Size: 9.9 oz package
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugar including 11 grams of added sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites

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Normally, I’d start my review of Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites with a thin pop culture reference that I’d kinda relate back to the product, but I’m too miffed to have fun right now.

So, my apologies, Debbie Harry, I won’t be using any famous Blondie lyrics to express my opinions. Sorry, Dagwood, I won’t be making a cutesy reference to your wife, the eponymous Blondie’s famous comic strip, because I just have to get down to brass tacks and warn the masses.

I’m not even gonna bury the lede anymore, folks, I almost gave Chips Ahoy Blondie Baked Bites my first 0 out of 10.

Look, before I start, I just wanna say I actually enjoy Chewy Chips Ahoy, and I’ve loved every blondie I’ve ever had. It’s a golden brownie! Cool, nice change of pace, sign me up… but these… man…

In each baggie, you get a handful of little squares they call “Baked Bites,” but they’re really “Clay Clumps.”

The texture of said clumps is lost somewhere in the void between cookie and brownie. It’s not quite Chewy Chips Ahoy, but not quite brownie texture either – any brownie texture, whether you like moist, chewy brownies or crispier dryer brownies, these never get to either pole.

They resemble little pieces of edible cookie dough, but that’s usually softer and often chilled. If you bought edible cookie dough bites and left them uncovered on the counter for six hours, that might be the texture of Chips Ahoy Baked Bites. I kinda recall the inside of those terrible “Cookie Dough Bite” candies being similar, so imagine about twenty of those mashed together with less chocolate.

Needless to say, I’m not a fan of these bites texturally. That said, the texture is great compared to the taste. These are hot garbage.

I really try not to just flat out hate on things I review, but I hate these. “Hate” is a strong word that I genuinely want to eliminate from my vocabulary entirely. Maybe tomorrow. I hate these.

The flavor is as bland as bland can be. The chocolate chips are a desperate hint of a saving grace, but they are chalky and not flavorful enough to save whatever the batter is. These are just unpleasant with a mouth-drying, aspartamey aftertaste that doesn’t go away.

Would you like a dryer, denser Chewy Chips Ahoy with about 50% less sugar? I’ll answer for you. You wouldn’t. The grams of sugar must all be in the chocolate because the blondie part has no sweetness to speak of. These taste like the newspaper Blondie was printed on.

The “Chips Ahoy!” name on the box shouldn’t have an exclamation point but an interrobang (?) because I’m questioning what the heck I just ate. I also really wanted to write the word “interrobang.”

Man, these stink. With all the options out there, I’m prepared to call these unequivocally the worst sweet snack on shelves right now. I’ll die on that hill.

I don’t think I’ve ever said the word “blech” out loud until I ate these. That’s what these taste like, “blech.” They taste like some random onomatopoeia.

Yeah, so anyway, pick up a box. You’ll love ’em? (You probably won’t. Skip ’em.)

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 7.5 oz box/5 packs
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 1 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 13 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Limited Edition Hershey’s S’mores Cookies

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When making s’mores, the only chocolate that comes to mind is a Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar. The thought of constructing a graham cracker, marshmallow, and chocolate masterpiece with a Ghirardelli Chocolate Square, Cadbury Dairy Milk Bar, or, heaven forbid, a Palmer Milk Chocolate Gold Coin. So it seems right, at least to me, that these new Chips Ahoy Limited Edition Hershey’s S’mores Cookies have that famous Pennsylvania chocolate in them, along with marshmallow-flavored chips and Chips Ahoy’s usual chocolatey pieces.

The Hershey’s chocolate comes in the form of Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Mini Bar Pieces. They are tiny and, I think, even have “Hershey’s” stamped into them. I didn’t know bars came in this size. That’s some extreme portion control and must not be very satisfying unless you eat dozens of them. But in these cookies, they are extremely satisfying, and along with the vanilla marshmallow-flavored chips, they make me forget the usual chocolate is even there. It’s as if the three morsels are in a production of Romeo and Juliet, and while the Hershey’s chocolate and white chips are in the two leading roles, the usual chips have been relegated to the roles of servants of the Capulet and Montague houses.

However, Hershey’s Milk Chocolate has a distinct taste, and I don’t notice it here. Its flavor might be skewed by the regular and marshmallow morsels. But those chunks make the cookies taste much more chocolatey than regular Chips Ahoy. As for the white chips, they have an enticing artificial marshmallow flavor, and if there’s ever a Chips Ahoy Peeps Cookie, these will do the trick nicely.

Now, this wouldn’t be a “s’mores” cookie if it didn’t have any graham cracker flavor, and I’m happy to report that it’s there…I think. The cookie part definitely doesn’t taste like a standard Chips Ahoy, but I wouldn’t say it’s like honey-kissed Honey Maid or Teddy Grahams. But there’s something about it that evokes the essence of graham. There’s no graham flour or graham anything. But it does complete the whole s’mores vibe these cookies have.

If there was one thing that irritated me about these, it was how quickly they disappeared from the packaging. I mean, that’s obviously my fault because I lack self-control sometimes, and sometimes I want to make ice cream sandwiches with the cookies I buy. But I wish this limited edition offering came in a weight that went beyond double digits.

Chips Ahoy Limited Edition Hershey’s S’mores Cookies are outstanding and worth a purchase during this s’mores season.

Purchased Price: $5.29*
Size: 9.58 oz package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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