REVIEW: Carmella Creeper Monster Cereal

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I love the green color of the whole grain corn pieces in the Carmella Creeper Monster Cereal. It screams zombies as loud as someone screaming because zombies are eating them. The newest Monster Cereal is caramel apple flavored, and like all other Monster Cereals, it comes with marshmallows.

After sticking my snout into the pouch, I noticed a sweet artificial caramel aroma, but my sniffer detected no apple. I don’t know if I’m tired of smelling the other Monster varieties, but I found the scent to be more inviting than the others.

While I didn’t notice any apple with its aroma, it does make an appearance when I eat the spooky cereal. The pleasant caramel green apple flavor isn’t bold, but it’s enough to perk up my taste buds, and the marshmallows enhance the sweetness of every spoonful. However, that’s when it’s eaten dry. When I consumed it the way the Breakfast Gods intended it to be eaten, with milk, the sweet and fruity flavors were less noticeable. Also, the milk at the bottom of the bowl had a very faint apple caramel taste.

I’m a bit disappointed that the flavors didn’t stand out as much as they do with this recent General Mills cinnamon apple cereal, but, overall, I like this and it’s now my second favorite Monster Cereal, right behind Count Chocula. Although full disclosure, I’ve always thought Boo Berry and Franken Berry were mediocre, and Fruit Brute was okay (waiting to be pelted by hard stale cereal marshmallows over the internet).

Now, after virtually throwing marshmallows at me, you might be wondering who Carmella Creeper is. Well, the cereal box explains most of it. She’s a DJ, the first female Monster to have a cereal, and Franken Berry’s long lost zombie cousin. Now you might be thinking, “How is she related to Franken Berry if he’s not a zombie?”

Well, I sat down and thought about it more than any normal human being should and wasted many minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Here’s my theory. Let’s say Franken Berry is the son of two Franken monsters, and as we all know, Franken monsters are made using various body parts. So I think one of Franken Berry’s parents has a Franken sibling with a body part from someone related to Carmella. So that equals to being cousins in the monster world. I think.

Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, and it’s something simple like a Franken monster and zombie marriage happened. But what’s not a stretch is that Carmella Creeper Cereal is a tasty addition to the Monster Cereals line.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 9.3 oz box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup w/o milk) 160 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Little Debbie Swiss Rolls Cereal

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Little Debbie and Kellogg’s have once again joined forces to miniaturize and breakfast-ify a popular snack cake so you can eat them for breakfast without feeling too much guilt. The new Little Debbie Swiss Roll Cereal follows Oatmeal Creme Pie, Cosmic Brownies, and Nutty Buddy Cereals. Will they be able to beat shoving a whole Swiss Roll in your mouth and washing it down with a glass of milk in the morning (a.k.a. the breakfast of champions)?

When I pour the chocolate spirals into my bowl, I see a light dusting of a white sugary coating. The chocolate cereal tastes like chocolate cereals I’ve tasted before. The frosted coating adds some vanilla flavor and tastes like the frosted coating I’ve tasted before. It’s good but could be inspired by any number of chocolate and vanilla treats instead of Swiss Rolls.

These remind me of the childhood favorite, Cookie Crisp. Everyone is a bit disappointed when they learn that they’re actually not eating tiny baked chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. But it’s still exciting to think of the possibility.

It’s always difficult to know what to say about these cross-branded products. Is this cereal actually like miniaturized Swiss Rolls? Of course not. It’s a standard frosted cocoa cereal in an admittedly neat spiral design. It’s fine but has nothing to do with its namesake snack cake. Do you really want to think of what eating a crunchy Swiss Roll would be like? It does make me wonder what other vaguely disconcerting cross-brand opportunities are out there. Krispy Kreme Go-Gurt? Anything that those freaks at Lay’s try to turn into a chip flavor?

I’m up for all of it, but sometimes I wish products like these were more than simply branding and did something exciting. Maybe I would enjoy these more if they were filled, like Krave cereal. Or perhaps I’m just experiencing breakfast ennui and asking too much from my cereal bowl.

And despite it not being a standout breakfast option, I’ve been munching it by the handful while writing this review. So perhaps that’s how it’s best enjoyed. So, while Kellogg’s Little Debbie Swiss Roll Cereal is more of a branding exercise than an innovative breakfast option, it’s still a tasty one.

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 8.4 oz box
Rating: 7 out of 10
?Nutrition Facts (56 grams): 160 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 mg milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar (including 15 grams added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal Box

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal from General Mills looks like it might have the longest name in breakfast cereal history. It also appears the Cookie Crisp-making and Lucky Charms marshmallow-making machines were used to create it.

While the sweetened corn cereal pieces’ shape could be turtle shells, there’s no questioning what the marshmallow pieces are. They feature the faces of all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael – with their eyes closed.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal Marshmallows

When it comes to cereals that have movie tie-ins, most of them have had marshmallows, and almost all of them have been forgettable. Although none have come to mind that have been memorable, so I guess they all have been forgettable. But after trying the cereal with possibly the longest name in breakfast cereal history, I can say that I’ve tasted a movie tie-in cereal that I probably won’t forget. Although, my first taste of it didn’t impress me.

When I ate one, the flavor was almost none. When I ate two, to get any flavor, it was still too few. When I ate three, the taste screamed slightly softer than a banshee. When I ate four, the flavor really began to soar. Apple cinnamon oatmeal comes to mind when I eat this, and when eating spoonfuls with milk, the fruit and warm spices come through a bit more.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal Closeup

I was surprised by how much flavor these had, maybe because of my past experiences with bland movie tie-in cereals. The marshmallows add pops of sweetness that enhance the cereal, and a second look at them makes me think of bow ties and bikini tops. As for the milk at the bottom of my bowl, unfortunately, I didn’t taste the cinnamon apple goodness in it.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem Cowabunga Cinnamon Apple Cereal is surprisingly good. If there’s a sequel to the TMNT movie, I’d be fine with reusing this cereal flavor for it.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 17.8 oz box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Vanilla Spice Cheerios Cereal

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Vanilla Spice Cheerios is the only Cheerios variety that has ever made me go down a 1990s music rabbit hole because I wanted to know if there was a Vanilla Spice in the Spice Girls. There wasn’t, and in the end, after finding out what Bell Biv DeVoe, Gerardo, and Boyz II Men were up to, I realized I was probably thinking of Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Spice Cheerios is also the least memorable flavor I’ve had.

You’d think combining vanilla and cinnamon cereals together would create something worthwhile, but I’m surprised by how bland this cereal is. Okay, “bland” is a harsh word that was used to describe me in high school…and me in college…and me at various workplaces after college…and this paragraph so far. There is some cinnamon flavor, so it’s definitely not as bland as I’ve been for almost my entire life.

But, um, the vanilla.

Is it there? With every spoonful, I keep asking myself that, and because it’s not noticeable I’m sure I could convince anyone in a blind taste test that this cereal is an equal mixture of Cinnamon Cheerios and original Cheerios. Even when I taste the pieces independently, they don’t scream, speak, or whisper vanilla, but they’re also not exactly plain Cheerios either.

I’m trying to remember if this was also the case with Vanilla Honey Cheerios that came out a year ago, but I don’t remember what it tastes like. Okay, my apologies, Vanilla Spice Cheerios. You and Vanilla Honey Cheerios are tied for the least memorable Cheerios varieties I’ve had.

Vanilla Spice Cheerios is a perfectly fine cinnamon-flavored Cheerios. But if you want that and with more flavor, you might as well get a box that has only Cinnamon Cheerios or purchase the excellent Cinnamon Cheerios Oat Crunch.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Size: 12 oz box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup w/o milk) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar (including 8 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Tres Leches Toast Crunch Cereal

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During my decades of dessert dining, I’m unsure if I’ve had tres leches cake. But how could I not have had something that sounds delicious — a pound cake that’s soaked in a mixture of whole, evaporated, and condensed milks and then topped with whipped cream. As complex as that sounds, the folks at General Mills have developed a new Toast Crunch variety based on that dessert that I may or may not have had.

The company says that the cereal brings the cake’s flavor to the cereal bowl and is packed with cinnamon and extra indulgent Cinnamilk with the same crunchy texture as Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

If I’ve never had tres leches cake, I’m going to want some tres leches cake très vite because I’m going to assume the dessert is as delicious as this cereal. Yeah, I know. One is Spanish, and the other is French, but it looks cool in text.

First, I’d love to spend a lot of time with an open bag of this stuff in a phone booth, pod in a Japanese capsule hotel, or coffin because its delightful aroma reminds me of a cinnamon roll’s cream cheese frosting. That aromatic introduction leads to a unique and complex cereal flavor that gives me as much joy as eating the original Cinnamon Toast Crunch, dry or with milk. Actually, maybe even more.

There’s definitely a cake taste that’s somewhat similar to what I’ve experienced with the vast number of birthday cake products I’ve crammed into my mouth over the years, but not over-the-top sweet like most of those. Beyond that, there’s a butteriness that makes my tongue wonder if that’s from the cake flavoring or the cereal trying to present a milkiness. Whatever it is, it adds a bit of sweet complexity that goes exceptionally well with a not-quite-as-intense-as-Cinnamon-Toast-Crunch cinnamon flavor.

With its strong cake and cinnamon flavors, I really want to call this Cinnamon Cake Crunch, but Tres Leches Toast Crunch is more fun to say. Also, and this might be my imagination, there’s a little something something in the taste that could be interpreted as whipped topping.

Overall, Tres Leches Toast Crunch is très bien. Yeah, I know Spanish and French again. It’s so wonderful that, like my beloved Apple Pie Toast Crunch, I want this to exist forever year round.

FOREVER, General Mills! FOREVER!

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Size: 12 oz box
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 170 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

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