REVIEW: Lotus Biscoff KitKat Minis (United Arab Emirates)

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Lotus Biscoff KitKat Minis

What are Lotus Biscoff KitKat Minis?

Some absolute genius has combined KitKats (those wafer/chocolate bars you’re probably supposed to eat one stick at a time, but I take a giant bite out of all four sticks at once because I’m an animal) and Biscoff Spread (that amazing butter made from cookies, which I eat with a spoon, not my fingers because I’m an animal with manners).

Is there a snack foods innovation category for the Nobel Prize? There should be. And whoever dreamed this up should win. It’s so obvious – KitKats and Biscoff – but here it is 2020 and it’s only just born into the world.

Right now, Biscoff KitKats are available in the United Arab Emirates and some outlets in the U.K. They come in “Mini Moments” format (half of a chunky KitKat).

Lotus Biscoff KitKat Minis 2

How are they?

I was sure I’d love these, but there’s always a chance that when you put something on a high pedestal, it can’t live up. These lived up.

The chunky shape allowed for a nice slab of Biscoff above the wafer cookies. The texture of the Biscoff was a little thinner than the usual spread – you can usually get a bit of caramel-like “pull” from Biscoff in a jar. But that didn’t bother me at all. I didn’t notice the crunchiness mentioned on the wrapped, but again – didn’t care. The flavor was spot-on Biscoff – gingery, buttery, brown sugary. Delicious.

Lotus Biscoff KitKat Minis 3

Anything else you need to know?

It’s an absolute tragedy that these aren’t stateside yet. If you want to try them, you’ll have to track them down online.

Conclusion:

These were terrible. Categorically the worst. If you see them in stores here in the U.S., just walk away. If you see me at the store, loading them into a cart by the boxload, it’s because I’m going to burn them in a barrel behind my house. No, that’s NOT a Biscoff KitKat in my mouth. Stop asking questions.

Purchased Price: $2.99 per mini bar + shipping
Size: 17.5g mini bar
Purchased at: Mexican Candy Lady
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per mini bar) 93 calories, 5.2 grams of fat, 2.3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.8 grams of cholesterol, 1 milligram of sodium, 10.3 grams of carbohydrates, 0.5 grams of dietary fiber, 8.3 grams of total sugars, 7.2 grams of added sugars and 1.2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Chocolate Bar

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Hershey s Cookies N Chocolate Bar

What is Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Chocolate Bar?

I imagine that the Hershey’s product development team, having run the gamut by adding nuts, candies, pretzels, and even uh…air to its chocolate bars, must have turned to Xzibit in a moment of desperation for their latest offering.

After a period of intense thought, he came back to them and said, “Yo dawgs, I heard you like chocolate, so I put some chocolate in your chocolate, so you can eat some chocolate while you eat your chocolate!”

Presenting the Hershey’s Cookies “N’ Chocolate Bar.

How is it?

Hershey s Cookies N Chocolate Bar Bricks

The familiar flavor of Hershey’s milk chocolate with its light, butyric acid tang is the dominant flavor here. The chocolate cookie inclusions are the same as with the cookies and crème bar, but without the creamy white chocolate to offer contrast they only add a bit of textural interest. They’re like the puffed rice in a Crunch Bar that way, though these are much heartier. Anyone who has eaten a Hershey’s chocolate bar (a.k.a. everyone) has tasted this before.

Hershey s Cookies N Chocolate Bar Innards

Is there anything else you need to know?

The Xzibit meme is more than ten years old, which is so long in Internet years that one almost expects to find it written on a clay cuneiform tablet. The fact that I remember it tells you that I’m old, and so I claim the privilege of being a crotchety old man to say: People eat chocolate wrong! And it’s because of bars like this!

Chocolate is best enjoyed by allowing it to luxuriously melt in your mouth. You know, like the famous old person candy Werther’s Original. If you do that with Hershey’s Cookies’ N’ Chocolate Bar, you end up with a mouth full of soggy cookie bits. And so people are taught to munch down on their chocolate, and the world spins further off into chaos.

Conclusion:

There’s nothing to particularly recommend about this candy bar. The cookie bits add texture, which some youngsters may like, but do nothing to heighten its flavor.

Purchased Price: $1.48
Size: 2.5 oz./70 grams (King Size)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (35 grams) 170 calories, 9 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar including 16 grams added sugar, and 3 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Fudge Brownie M&M’s

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Fudge Brownie M M s

What are Fudge Brownie M&M’s?

Fudge Brownie M&M’s promise to be “everything you love about homemade brownies without even turning on the oven!”

How are they?

I was skeptical that candy could deliver the same experience as a baked good, but they really captured the essence of it!

The candy piece itself is large, like the size of a peanut M&M. But instead of a peanut center, it’s a chewy chocolate core that represents the fudge brownie.

Fudge Brownie M M s Innards

There’s definitely something to be said about the textural contrast of the hard candy shell with the chewy center. That something is: it’s good and creates a candy eating experience that I haven’t had before.

On the flavor front, when I first eat it, I get the classic M&M’s taste from the shell, followed with a subtle fudgy note. This fudginess becomes more pronounced as the shell dissolves. I wouldn’t mind even more brownie flavor, but I get it – there’s only so much “batter” you can pack into a half-inch candy piece.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Fudge Brownie M M s Colors

Aren’t M&M’s usually pretty uniform? I noticed that they were a bit lumpy looking. However, this did not take away from the flavor or overall eat for me!

Conclusion:

How many flavors are there now?! It’s a bit overwhelming on-shelf, but this one is worth a try — look for the light purple bag with Ms. Brown!

Purchased Price: $2.98
Purchased at: Walmart
Size: 9.05 oz.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz/28g/11 pieces): 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 18 gram of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Birthday Cake Kit Kat

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Birthday Cake Kit Kat

What is Birthday Cake Kit Kat?

This limited edition Kit Kat features frosting-flavored white crème and rainbow sprinkles.

How is it?

Artificial birthday cake flavor has its fans and its detractors, but, despite its arguable overuse, I am definitely a fan. The rich sweetness and pops of color always evoke childhood memories of opening a fresh can of Funfetti frosting — and plunging a spoon into its creamy depths.

However, I write this review now as a sophisticated adult who eats vegetables of her own accord and no longer considers Lunchables to be “unpretentious charcuterie boards.” (Okay, only most of this sentence is true some of the time.)

Nowadays, I enjoy birthday cake flavor mostly in smaller doses and when it is paired with a complementary flavor or texture. If you like Birthday Cake Oreo Cookies, but thought Birthday Cake Hershey’s Kisses left something to be desired, then we might be of the same icing ilk.

Birthday Cake Kit Kat Wafers

Birthday Cake Kit Kat meets this most important criterion, as its crispy wafer insides pair well with the sweet white crème coating. The crème’s frosting-inspired flavor is spot on. I detected a hint of buttery taste that is often lacking in other birthday cake products that rely too heavily on sugar and artificial coloring as substitutes for flavor.

Birthday Cake Kit Kat Fingers

The rainbow nonpareils stand out beautifully against the white crème coating, giving the candy a cheery, fun appearance. They also provide a bit of extra crunch, which is not evident in every bite. Initially worried that the sprinkles would overwhelm the product and result in a gritty texture, I was pleased with their subtle effect.

The only thing I did not like about this Kit Kat is that the oil in the coating left a feeling of “mouth coat” that I haven’t experienced with other Kit Kat products.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Celebrating its 85th anniversary of production this year, Kit Kat has experienced a recent renaissance, with the release of its Duos line and lemon and raspberry seasonal varieties — all of which I have really enjoyed. With more flavors rumored for release this year, Kit Kat is proving an old dog can learn new tricks.

Conclusion:

Birthday Cake Kit Kat executes a familiar flavor perfectly and enhances both texture and flavor with rainbow sprinkles. Kit Kat fans and frosting fiends will celebrate having another reason to visit the candy aisle.

Purchased Price: 88 cents
Size: 1.5 oz (42 g)

Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 220 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sour Patch Kids Frozen Dessert Bars

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What are Sour Patch Kids Frozen Dessert Bars?

A vague raspberry flavored ice surrounding a vague vanilla ice cream-like substance, dotted with flavorless bits of Sour Patch Kids.

How are they?

These didn’t succeed, despite seeming like a great idea on paper.

The “redberry” ice pop portion was refreshing and tasted fine. Like Sour Patch Kids candy, it started sour then transitioned to sweet.

I still don’t actually know what “Redberry” is. It tasted like a combination of all the red berries (rasp, straw, even cran), but raspberry was most prominent, so I’m rolling with that.

The “dairy” portion that they or I wouldn’t dare call “ice cream,” was quite bad.

First off, the vanilla gets masked by the sourness of the Redberry ice, which is much colder than the “dairy,” so it’s pretty off-putting once you get to the bottom chunk of exposed vanilla. That’s the only time you can actually distinguish the flavors.

The worst part may have been the texture. It’s a slimy, synthetic, custard-like block that only gets worse with the addition of rubbery Sour Patch Kids “bitz.”

Is there anything else you need to know?

The Redberry ice overwhelms all the other flavors. There’s no strong vanilla ice cream taste at all, and the bits of the various Sour Patch Kid flavors are completely wasted. That was a bummer. I wanted to taste those since you only get one flavor of ice.

If you’ve ever had a custard and ice mix from a place like Rita’s or Ralph’s, this tastes like a dollar store version of those in bar form.

Conclusion:

I think these would succeed better as two separate ideas altogether. I’m sure they exist, but they should just sell SPK flavored ice pops and custard bars with candy bits as two different products.

Don’t even bother with these. There are 100 things better in the same aisle. If you need a Sour Patch Kids fix, just stick with the candy and mix them into a better frozen dessert.

Stay safe, everyone.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 16.5 fl. Oz. (6 bars)
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Bar) 90 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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