Some of your stomachs might be thinking, “Hey! Didn’t I recently digest a Burger King Ultimate Steakhouse Whopper?” Also, I imagine some of your intestines are wondering the same thing.

Well, digestive tracts, what you’re thinking of is not the Ultimate Steakhouse Whopper. Instead, what you remember is last year’s Steakhouse Bacon Whopper, which had a flame-grilled beef patty topped with bacon, two tomato slices, lettuce, Swiss cheese, crispy onions, A.1. Sauce, and a creamy peppercorn aioli between a sesame seed bun.

This Ultimate Steakhouse Whopper does not feature all of the ingredients listed above, plus a few more to make it the “ultimate.” Instead, it swaps the vegetables with onion rings and sauteed mushrooms, and leaves the A.1. Sauce off. But the bacon, Swiss, and peppercorn aioli are still there. Maybe this should’ve been named Steakhouse Bacon Whopper 2?

In my review of the Steakhouse Bacon Whopper, I wondered whether the peppercorn aioli could carry the entire burger’s flavor, since the addition of A.1. Sauce made everything taste barbecue-y. Well, it turns out that while last year’s version had a “Western” barbecue flavor, the Ultimate Steakhouse Whopper tastes like another burger variety — mushroom & Swiss.

Looking back at my previous reviews of Burger King menu items featuring mushrooms, their flavors ranged from too much to non-existent. With this Whopper, the ‘shrooms make themselves known just the right amount, with the peppercorn aioli enhancing the savoriness of the ‘shrooms and Swiss and adding a mild pepperiness. The sauce creates a noticeable difference from other mushroom & Swiss burgers. So I guess I finally got my answer about the peppercorn aioli. It can carry an entire burger.

What didn’t do any heavy lifting were the onion rings and bacon. While I was excited about the addition of onion rings, they didn’t bring much taste, despite having six and a half rings in my order. Instead, they provided a bit of crunch and texture to contrast with the mostly soft ingredients, especially the squishy mushrooms. I’m also surprised the bacon didn’t bring its usual salty, smoky, and porky attributes, despite a sheet of it in my burger.

The lack of flavor from the onion rings and bacon is a shame, because I think they would’ve helped distance this burger even further from a mostly mushroom-and-Swiss-tasting offering than the peppercorn aioli. While it isn’t ultimately unique, it’s still a tasty menu item. However, the $13.99 I paid, which is more than many of you will pay, makes my stomach ache.

Purchased Price: $13.99*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1020 calories, 60 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 130 milligrams of cholesterol, 1950 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 44 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did. Because, damn, $13.99 is a lot to pay.

There are a few places in the United States where McDonald’s offers fried pies. One of those places is this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I heard a fourth party rumor that this has been the case because the McDonald’s franchisee here refused to sell the baked version, believing that selling the fried apple pie with the molten filling would be appropriate for the islands with an active volcano spewing molten lava.

Look, I could waste more of your time by speaking glowingly about the McDonald’s Fried Apple Pie until the cows that make the dairy in McFlurrys come home. Instead, I will give you some time back by telling you not to spend any on Burger King’s new Cinnamon Apple Pie, available for a limited time and featuring a golden, crispy crust and warm cinnamon apple filling.

First off, Burger King’s version pales in comparison to McDonald’s Fried Apple Pie. But since many of you can’t experience that fried fruity goodness, I’m going to compare this Burger King dessert with something similar many of you can order — Popeyes’ Cinnamon Apple Pie.

While the Burger King version looks roughly the same size, that’s all it has got going for it. The filling in the BK pie has an astringent taste that brought some weirdness to some bites. If the filling had more flavor and sweetness, it might’ve overcome that, but it was overall a bit mild.

As for the crust, it wasn’t as crispy as the pies from other fast food chains, and the seams at the ends came apart as my bites got closer to them, causing the jelly-like part of the filling to ooze out. If this were a freshly made pie when I started eating it, my fingers would’ve felt the burn.

So, basically, the Popeyes version is crispier, sweeter, fruitier, sturdier, and cinnamon-ier, and what makes it significantly better is the cinnamon sugar coating. It ups the sweetness and gives the pie a stronger cinnamon kick, which Burger King’s offering really needed.

While BK’s Cinnamon Apple Pie isn’t horrible, I can’t recommend it when there’s something significantly better. But I guess if you don’t have a Popeyes location near you (or a Whataburger, which also offers something similar), then this is your only option if you want to experience a fried apple pie. But if you do have easy access to the Louisiana Kitchen, don’t waste your time or money on this pie.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 280 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Ready for what, you ask?

Ready for the most epic collab of 2025: Burger King x SpongeBob, aye-aye!

Burger King celebrates the new movie with a full lineup of limited-time offerings, all decked out in true squarepants fashion. And yes, Wendy’s rolled out its “Krabby Patty Kollab Meal” last year, but sorry – BK knocks it out of the pineapple with this one.

The sea of offerings and the adorable packaging put me in full Bikini Bottom mode before I even placed an order. They even handed me a SpongeBob-themed paper crown. I’m 99% sure it belonged to a kids’ meal, but that didn’t stop me.

The Bikini Bottom Bundle is the clear MVP because it includes all four limited-time items: the Krabby Whopper, Mr. Krabs’ Cheesy Bacon Tots, Patrick’s Star-berry Shortcake Pie, and the Pirate’s Frozen Pineapple Float.

The float came out first, and like SpongeBob waiting for the bus at Rock Bottom, I refused to wait. My eyes begged it to be a Dole Whip cousin, but it landed closer to a 7-Eleven Slurpee – icy, not creamy. Still, the tanginess surprised me in a good way, and it worked perfectly as a palate cleanser. The press release promised “tropical cold foam,” but if it existed, it vanished faster than Plankton’s plans.

On the drive home, my car smelled incredible – like someone melting butter in the backseat. The Bikini Bottom box works as both packaging and aromatherapy.

Upon arrival, I dug right into Mr. Krabs’ Cheesy Bacon Tots. They come in an absurdly cute treasure chest. They’re coin-shaped (very on brand for Mr. Krabs), savory, salty, and satisfying. I wanted gooier cheese, but that’s just me nitpicking.

Then I moved on to the main course: SpongeBob’s Krabby Whopper. It looks exactly like what 10-year-old me dreamed a Krabby Patty would look like: a bright yellow square bun. The color comes from “natural spice,” which I assume is code for turmeric. One bite in, the classic flame-grilled Whopper flavor hit instantly. Nostalgia achieved. Ten-year-old me would have screamed; current me still felt pretty jazzed.

I wanted to end the meal on a high note, as dessert is my favorite meal, of course! However, Patrick’s Star-berry Shortcake Pie was rough. Visually, it’s adorable. Taste-wise, not so much. The cookie crust has a soggy bottom, the filling leans too heavily into Cool Whip territory, and the strawberry flavor tastes overly artificial. I tapped out after one bite.

But whether you’re a SpongeBob superfan or just squarepants-curious, the Bikini Bottom Bundle delivers. Four new LTO items, special packaging, toys, crowns…BK didn’t phone this in; it went full send.

BK now stands for “Bringing Krabby vibes,” because this collab lands as fun, flavorful, and just the right amount of chaos. Grab the bundle, channel your inner kid, and dive in.

Purchased Price: $15.39
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Float), 8 out of 10 (Tots), 8 out of 10 (Whopper), 1 out of 10 (Pie)
Nutrition Facts: Pirate’s Frozen Pineapple Float (1 medium drink) – 250 calories, 9 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of total carbohydrates, 41 grams of sugar, 0 grams of dietary fiber, and 9 grams of protein. Mr. Krabs’ Cheesy Bacon Tots (8 pcs) – 260 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of sugar, 0 grams of dietary fiber, and 8 grams of protein. SpongeBob’s Krabby Whopper – 780 calories, 49 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1620 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of total carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, 4 grams of dietary fiber, and 35 grams of protein.Patrick’s Star-berry Shortcake Pie – 260 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 0 grams of dietary fiber, and 3 grams of protein.

I thought Burger King’s new Crispy Onion Whopper would have an intense onion flavor that would make anyone within my personal space and downwind from me know I’m eating one when I say, “Oooooonioooooon.” However, despite having onion rings AND crispy onions, it does noooooot.

Along with those two toppings, the burger features a 1/4-pound flame-grilled beef patty, bacon, American cheese, barbecue sauce, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo on a toasted sesame seed bun. Raw onions, one ingredient I know Burger King has stocked in its kitchens, would’ve helped push the onion pungency to a potent plane, but BK excluded them in this burger.

If it had gone extra heavy with the onions, this might’ve been a unique-tasting offering, but this latest Whopper By You creation, inspired by Whopper fans, has a lot of familiar flavors. It seems like Burger King took a page from Taco Bell’s playbook and created something new by flinging ingredients it already uses at a wall and seeing what sticks.

When the drive-thru window person handed me the bag with my à la carte order, I was surprised by its weight. Upon taking it out of the bag, it looked noticeably more substantial than previous limited-time-only Whoppers in recent memory. I suppose the onion rings made a significant difference.

While light in flavor, both fried onions let my mouth know of their existence with two distinct levels of crispiness, with the crispy onion having a lighter crunch than the rings. However, raw onions here might’ve added another level of crispiness.

The previous Whopper By You, the BBQ Brisket one, released in July, featured a new golden BBQ sauce, which I really enjoyed. This comes topped with the usual sweet and smoky barbecue sauce Burger King has used over the years. While I’ve enjoyed the older BBQ sauce, I wish BK had used the newer one here, as it might’ve prevented the burger from tasting so familiar. I’m not saying it tastes like a BK’s signature burger, but it’s almost like the chain did a mashup of a regular Whopper with a Rodeo Cheeseburger.

With every bite, it seemed like a different ingredient got highlighted. Sometimes it was the onions. Other times it was the cheese. Sometimes it was the bacon. Other times it was the pickles. Sometimes it was the barbecue sauce. Other times it was the beef. And even the mayo popped in every so often.

Other things to note: With all the toppings, it’s unsurprising that this is one messy burger. Also, much like the previous limited-time-only Whopper, it’s available as a Whopper Jr. if you want to save money because it’s slightly pricier than other variations.

Burger King’s Crispy Onion Whopper is a serviceable offering that’s as enjoyable as its standard Whopper. However, nothing is outstanding or distinctive about it that would make me like it a looooot or spend my looooot on it again.

Purchased Price: $11.79*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1150 calories, 72 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 135 milligrams of cholesterol, 2140 milligrams of sodium, 88 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 47 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.