REVIEW: Mountain Dew Honeydew

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I want to start a #FreeMountainDewHoneydew campaign. Will you join me? Because it pains me to see the new Mountain Dew Honeydew be trapped by exclusivity in the US as a flavor that we can only purchase from regional convenience store chains that have spelling issues (Maverik) or cause giggling issues (Kum & Go). Let’s release those chains from those chains and bring it to all who wish to Do the Honeydew because it’s quite HoneyDew-licious.

Mountain Dew Honeydew actually made its deDew, I mean, debut in Canada in 2023, and since then, US Dew fans have wondered if we would ever get the flavor. But like ketchup and All-Dressed potato chips, it has made its way into the US stores, albeit not everywhere.

Twisting off the top and giving the freshly opened soda a sniff, its aroma was similar to many honeydew-flavored drinks I’ve had from Japan. Although the beverages from Japan usually have some kind of creamy component, this Dew didn’t have one. Instead, think of the best piece of honeydew you’ve ever had in your life, but sweeter with a stronger melon flavor and a hint of the underlying citrus flavor at the back end. That’s what this soda tastes like, and that’s why I adore it.

Being so good, it brings up another question besides, “Why is Mountain Dew Honeydew an exclusive flavor?” Why aren’t there more honeydew-flavored drinks in the US? Off the top of my head, I can’t think of another melon-flavored beverage offered throughout the United States. Although knowing my astute and lovely audience, I’m sure some of you will come up with one or two in the comments.

Much like it upsets me that the delicious Mtn Dew Maui Burst is a Dollar General exclusive, it’s equally as upsetting that Mountain Dew Honeydew is only available at a regional convenience store chain. My favorite Dew flavors are difficult to obtain, and that annoys me. Maybe I should move? Or start #FreeMountainDewHoneydew and #FreeMtnDewMauiBurst campaigns.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 20 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 0 grams of fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 73 grams of sugar (including 73 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 93 milligrams of caffeine.

SPOTTED: Oreo Reese’s Cups

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Oreo Reese's Cups.

Oreo Reese's King Size.

Oreo Reese’s Cups will also be available in King Size and Standard Size. Reese’s Oreo Cookies will be hitting shelves soon…again? Update: Added the King Size version. (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart. King Size spotted by Amanda Y at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Walmart Freshness Guaranteed Mystery Flavor Frosted Sugar Cookies

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Walmart Freshness Guaranteed Mystery Flavor Frosted Sugar Cookies.

I’m going to wrongly guess turkey gravy. (Spotted by Tommy at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Great Value Speculoos Cookie Butter & Cocoa Spread

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Great Value Speculoos Cookie Butter & Cocoa Spread (1).

This has me wondering why an Oreo spread doesn’t exist. And I wonder how wonderful it would be to have a Biscoff x Oreo spread. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Combo Calzone

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Costco’s food court is arguably the country’s best cost-effective eatery. Where else can you get a two-dollar dog right after spending $450 on items such as an Army’s supply of animal crackers and a year’s worth of pipe-clogging wet wipes?

Just me?

I never skip the Costco Cafeteria. I’ll take one of their obese slices over any national chain’s wimpy pizza. I don’t know where Chicken Bakes came from, but they’re a marvel of modern science. That dirt cheap footlong? GOATed! And how can I forget the… *sigh* we still doing this?

Double. Chocolate. Chunk. Cookie?! Five Booms and whatnot.

Everything is good.

Well, everything WAS good. It is with great sorrow that I must report the new Kirkland Calzone Combo is a DOOM!

I’m baffled. How can this be? On paper, you would think a Costco food court Calzone would just marry the best parts of the pizza and the chicken bake, right? Pure ignorance.

It certainly looks like a decent calzone. I really like the doughy, slightly crispy crust on the pizza slice, so having that as a giant pocket works. It was probably my favorite part of the experience, despite it getting worse as I got towards the center.

The filling is pure slop. A full-on work sloppage. Slopular Science. The King of Slop. A wop slop a loo bop a slop bom bom!

The “turnover” comes packed with pepperoni, sausage, cheese, onions, peppers, sauce, olives, and mushrooms, all of which clash with each other.

I’m not opposed to a supreme pizza, but all of these ingredients don’t work in this pouch; it just makes everything wet with a gross flavor I can only describe as “spiced slimy meat.” That’s all I tasted, but not even in a good pepperoni or sausage style, they blend with the veggies to make an off-putting “spice” that is neither hot nor appetizing. This is the opposite of the spice mélange. One DUNE(!) on the “Boom or Dune” scale.

I could probably get beyond the overall flavor if this thing had more cheese in it. It’s severely lacking. I’ll keep hyping the pizza, because I absolutely love that 700-calorie behemoth cheese slice. It’s excessive, it’s greasy, it’s uniquely chewy, and I love it. This mushy deflated football needed that texture badly.

What you’re looking at here is a giant Hot Pocket that you took out of the microwave fifteen seconds early. I’m shocked at how much I disliked it. What a mess. This thing left a bad taste in my mouth literally and figuratively. The corners of the crust are basically the highlight. This should’ve been a perfect amalgamation of the pizza and chicken bake, but instead it’s a bastardization.

1.66 out of 5 BOOMS, which is appropriately a “boo.”

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: n/a
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1,080 calories, 61 grams of fat, 25 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 2000 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 7 grams of total sugars, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 46 grams of protein.

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