NEWS: Kellogg’s Releases Two Non-Ice Cream Related Pop-Tarts Flavors

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 2 Comments

If Kellogg’s ever stops releasing new Pop-Tarts, I will be upset. I will get down on my knees, raise my hands towards the sky, let tears fall from my cheeks, and ask a higher power — the manager at my local supermarket — “Why!?!” It would upset me because Pop-Tarts, and my desire to forget about an ex-girlfriend, inspired me to start up this blog that clogs the arteries of the internet with reviews of foods you should always eat in moderation.

But, it looks like the Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts train is still rolling with their new Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts and Wildlicious Frosted Wild! Strawberry Pop-Tarts.

Oh, in case you were wondering, Kellogg’s owns the Wildlicious trademark, so I would suggest not using it as a stripper name.

According to the Kellogg’s website, the Cherry Turnover Pop-Tarts consists of “golden, buttery crust surrounding cherry turnover flavored filling with a drizzle of white icing on top.” While the Wildlicious Frosted Wild! Strawberry Pop-Tarts are made with Pop-Tarts’ classic crust, filled with a strawberry filling with a tangy twist, and topped with bright pink icing, light pink icing drizzle, and green sprinkles.

One Limited Edition Frosted Cherry Turnover Pop-Tart has 190 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 220 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

A Wildlicious Frosted Wild! Strawberry Pop-Tart has 200 caloires, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Both flavors are fortified with nine vitamins and minerals and available in boxes of eight.

REVIEW: Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening

/ / Reviews / 11 Comments

Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening

Whoa, a toothpaste review! I know what questions are swirling in your head. “Is it bacon flavored? Did I accidentally visit theresponsiblebuy.com? What’s next, advice on my 401(k)?” No, no, and you can’t go wrong with index funds. Occasionally, TIB likes to offer reviews for products that can cleanse your bodies of all the sweets and fats we usually recommend. And since all of our Taco Bell posts already double as laxative reviews and I refuse to try out the Shake Weight until after a third date, I figured a toothpaste review best fits the bill.

According to the Colgate website, the new MaxClean with SmartFoam can clean hard to reach places because it has 30 percent more penetrating foam than regular toothpaste. For the purposes of this review, I guess we’ll just assume that more foam actually is better for cleaning your teeth, even though a quick Google search provides unsatisfactory evidence. I’ll also assume that Colgate decided to use this specific combination of capitalization and spacing in the product title because it somehow makes the toothpaste better at cleaning your teeth, and NOT because they wanted to make me incredibly angry by randomly mangling basic rules of English. A quick Google search on this question also provides unsatisfactory evidence, so I’ll let you decide which of these assumptions is a bigger stretch.

Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening Naked

MaxClean with SmartFoam had a classically pleasant electric blue color, and the intensity of its mint flavor was pretty standard toothpaste fare. But within 20 seconds of brushing, I could notice a significant difference in foaminess. “30% extra foam” may have been a serious underestimation, as I had a really hard time not letting the foam dribble out of my mouth. After I was done brushing, my mouth felt much cleaner and tingly-er than it normally does. I suppose the toothpaste actually could have cleaned more hard to reach places than my regular toothpaste does; more likely, the overflow of foam just reached a greater surface area around my face and left my mouth feeling zestier more on the outside than within. Even if it’s the second explanation, I think that’s a big positive – in addition to cleaning my teeth, I want my toothpaste to make me feel refreshed after I use it.

On the negative side, the overflow of foam means I probably left dried toothpaste spots all around the sink and annoyed my roommate. Sorry about that, David. Oh, and thanks for buying toilet paper last week. If I wrote for theresponsiblebuy.com I would probably remember to buy basic household necessities at the supermarket instead of walking around the snack aisles asking the store associates if they know whether the next shipment of Twinkies will include the Strawberry Crème ones. (They never know.)

Anyway, if you’re like me and want your toothpaste to help you feel awake and refreshed in the morning, definitely buy the Colgate MaxClean SmartFoam. If you’re skeptical about the assumption that more foam is actually better for your teeth, find a good scientific answer and let us know. And if you’d prefer for me to go back to reviewing greasy and ridiculous foods, come back in two weeks and I promise I’ll revert to form. Who knows, maybe those Strawberry Crème Twinkies will finally have arrived!

Item: Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening
Price: $2.50
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: Kmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Produces a lot of extra foam. Leaves your mouth feeling cleaner (even if it’s not really any cleaner). Theresponsiblebuy.com. Index funds for your 401(k). Shake Weight commercials. My roommate buying toilet paper last week.
Cons: Unclear if more foam is better for your teeth. Capitalization and spacing of the product title makes me angry. Leaving dried toothpaste spots everywhere. Creeping out the supermarket store associates.

NEWS: Taco Bell Releases The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New)

/ / Fast Food News / 8 Comments

#076 Taco Bell Cheesy Beefy Melt

This week, Taco Bell introduced the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is made with (Insert Here The First Five Taco Bell Ingredients That Pop Into Your Head. Don’t Worry, I Guarantee You’ll Get At Least Three Out Of The Five Right. And, If You Don’t Get All Five, Congratulations, You Might’ve Invented A Future Menu Item That Taco Bell Will Claim Is New But Won’t Seem New).

So, basically, the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is a (Insert Here Older Taco Bell Limited Time Offer That Also Didn’t Seem New When It Was Introduced) with (or without) (Insert Here Random Taco Bell Ingredient Selected By Using a Ouiji Board That’s Being Manipulated By The Spirit of the Taco Bell Chihuahua).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) weighs 206 grams and has 470 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1120 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, and 19 grams of protein.

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) will be available for a limited time and retail for (Insert Here Special Price That’s Under $1) at participating restaurants.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy! American Summer

/ / Reviews / 12 Comments

Chips Ahoy American Summer

When I bought the Chips Ahoy! American Summer cookies, I thought I was about to get my America on. But, my raging patriotism turned into dismay when I found out the cookies were made in Mexico.

Mexico? Really?

If your name has America in it, you better be made in America, just like Los Angeles-born actress America Ferrera. If these cookies wanted to truly be American, they should’ve been made in the good ol’ U-S-of-A…or where many American products are made — in China. Now some of you might be preparing blog comments in your head that include the words, “Mexico is in North AMERICA,” but that’s not the America I’m talking about, I’m talking about the good ol’ Red, White, and Blue, and not the good ol’…whatever colors make up the Mexican flag.

And…I just lost the four TIB readers that live in Mexico. You’re next, the two readers in South Korea.

On the Chips Ahoy! American Summer packaging, it says it’s “Crammed with Joy,” but it’s really chocolate chips; red, white, and blue candy coated fudge pieces; and disappointment crammed into a cookie that’s the same size as the regular version.

Chips Ahoy American Summer Naked

My displeasure with these cookies stem from the fact that they don’t taste any different from regular non-patriotic Chips Ahoy!

(See Nabisco. The previous sentence is why you shouldn’t use an exclamation point in your product’s name. People will see that exclamation point and think I’m really mad about Chips Ahoy! American Summer tasting like the regular version, but I only feel a little gypped.)

If you were to blindfold me with an American flag or blind me with the light from 50 stars, then tie my arms together using 13 stripes, and then have the ghost of Betsy Ross feed me Chips Ahoy! American Summer and regular Chips Ahoy! cookies using her sewing needles, the only way I could tell which is which is by the crunch of the candy coated fudge pieces, which is different from the crunch of the cookie. But, those two crunches combined with the rudeness of chewing with my mouth open, makes my maw sound like there are Fourth of July fireworks going on in there.

Yeah, that last sentence was a bit of a stretch, but I’m trying to make these cookies sound more American than they truly are. Because if you think about it, the red, white, and blue candy pieces could easily confuse people into thinking these cookies are Chips Ahoy! French Summer, Chips Ahoy! North Korea Summer, Chips Ahoy! Serbia and Montenegro Summer, or Chips Ahoy! Faroe Islands Summer.

Again, with these Chips Ahoy! American Summer cookies, you’re just eating something that tastes like regular Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies. There really isn’t anything really spectacular about them. But, if you’re having a huge Fourth of July barbeque with excessive red, white, blue themed items, like napkins, plates, cups, balloons, types of tortilla chips, and inflatable outdoor playground bouncers, then Chips Ahoy! American Summer is perfect for you.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 160 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, and 6% iron.)

*uses partially hydrogenated oils

Item: Chips Ahoy! American Summer
Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 12.2 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Resealable packaging. Contains poly- and monounsaturated fats. Fourth of July barbeques. Outdoor playground bouncers.
Cons: Tastes like regular Chips Ahoy! Nothing spectacular about them. Could easily be confused as Chips Ahoy! Serbia and Montenegro Summer cookies. Chips Ahoy! having an exclamation point in its name.

NEWS: Farts To Be Released At 2011 Sweets & Snacks Expo

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 1 Comment

Every year, the National Confectioners Association holds their Sweets & Snacks Expo in Chicago at the McCormick Place convention center. This year, the event will run from May 24th to the 26th. Candyblog.net has been giving sneak peeks at some of the candies that will be introduced at the event. However, there’s one particular candy being emitted that I’m pretty sure will get a lot of attention — Farts Candy from Leaf Brands.

According to a post on Candy.com, Farts Candy “are tiny, fruit-flavored nuggets” and “a better version of Nerds.” However, Farts won’t be a crunchy candy, it will have a chewy exterior. The post goes on to say that there will be 126 Farts flavors, but Leaf Brands plans to hold back some of their Farts and let the public vote via social media on which Farts they should release next.

Leaf Brands will be passing these gastronomical treats in 2.17-ounce packs and they will be available in four varieties: Fruiti, Sour, Single Flavors, and Small Farts.

Scroll to Top