REVIEW: Taco Bell Milk Bar Birthday Cake Churros

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Happy 63rd Birthday, Taco Bell!

Happy 17th Birthday, Milk Bar!

I don’t know whose birthday we’re celebrating, but you can do it with Taco Bell’s Milk Bar Birthday Cake Churros by sticking candles in both ends of a churro and lighting them. Available in a 2-pack or just one and made in collaboration with Milk Bar, the festive dessert features crispy churros filled with birthday cake frosting and topped with sprinkles.

But I should warn you that the number you decide to purchase might depend on how much you enjoy cleaning because these suckers are meeeessyyyyy. Having had Disneyland churros recently, I can definitely say these Taco Bell churros are más messy.

The spherical sprinkles and pink sugar cling to the churros’ sides with as much adhesion as a hippo trying to walk up the side of the Empire State Building. So, if you don’t want to make a gigantic mess, I’d recommend eating them just above the box they came in to catch the sugar. Or maybe consume them over a dinner plate, sink, or somewhere you can hose down easily. Surprisingly, what doesn’t end up making a mess is the birthday cake frosting filling. It didn’t ooze out when biting into the sugary sticks.

However, these Taco Bell Milk Bar Birthday Cake Churros are as delicious as they are messy. The fried dough, sugar, and vanilla-y filling do an excellent job of hitting the flavors of cake, but without being as overly sweet as a birthday cake. Initially, I thought the pink sugar had some flavor because nibbling just the fried dough with the sugar also had a cake vibe. But after tasting a pile of pink crystals that lost to gravity, it turns out they taste just like sugar.

Milk Bar Birthday Cake Churros are exactly what I imagine Taco Bell would do to Taco Bell-ize regular churros. I loved these, and I hope they return. But I would like Taco Bell to add regular churros to the permanent menu for my birthday.

Purchased Price: $3.99*
Size: 2-pack
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 churros) 550 calories, 37 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

SPOTTED: Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice

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Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice.

I have never tasted, touched, seen, or heard of Viking berry. But it sounds totally in-viking. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Rockstar Punched Pineapple and Rockstar Boom Pina Colada Energy Drinks

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Rockstar Punched Pineapple and Rockstar Boom Pina Colada Energy Drinks.

BOOM! If you like pina BOOMladas and getting pineapple punched in the rain. (Spotted by Chelsea C at Vons.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

SPOTTED: Lindt Lindor Carrot Cake White Chocolate Truffles

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Lindt Lindor Carrot Cake White Chocolate Truffles.

I thought Lindt already had carrot cake flavored truffles. But I was wrong. Someone needs to keep track of all these flavors. (Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries

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Oh, no!

Does the introduction of Jack in the Box’s new Loaded Waffle Fries mean my beloved potato wedges will soon be gone?

If so, how can I appease the Big Ball-Headed Fast Food God? Must I give it my firstborn? Do I have to sacrifice a fresh Big Mac and/or Whopper by throwing it into a volcano? Please keep potato wedges on the menu, oh, mighty and strong (and handsome) Jack!

For those who aren’t keeping count, Jack in the Box, at the moment, offers FOUR types of fried potato sides — waffle fries, regular fries, curly fries, and the fabulous potato wedges. (Also, tater tots were once on the menu for a limited time.) However, waffle fries are only available sauced and loaded, while all the others can be ordered unsauced and unloaded.

This might just be Jack testing to see if there’s possible interest in making waffle fries a permanent item. Or it might be a plot to get rid of potato wedges for good? (Don’t do it, Mr. Box!)

Jack in the Box’s Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries feature waffle fries topped with cheddar cheese, nacho cheese sauce, crumbled bacon, and buttermilk ranch. If you’ve had previous Sauced & Loaded products, this waffle fries version will taste very familiar since it has pretty much the same toppings as the loaded tater tots and potato wedges Jack has offered.

Despite being doused and plopped with toppings and enduring a four-minute drive, the waffle fries, surprisingly, still had a crispy exterior when I bit into the sauciest and load-est(?) fry. However, that fry was also quite salty because of all the toppings. So, I spread out the heap of meat, cheese, and sauces so things wouldn’t be so condensed. When I did that, there was a balance between the bacon, cheeses, and ranch, with the potato flavor still noticeable. The waffle fries almost taste like the potato wedges, but the spudsiness is milder.

If I had to rank Jack in the Box’s newest potato product, but naked, I’d put it ahead of regular fries because they taste a little better and are crispier, but behind curly fries and potato wedges. As for these Sauced & Loaded Waffle Fries, while everything tastes familiar, they’re still satisfying.

But it’s not as satisfying as potato wedges. Please don’t take them away from me again, Jack!

Purchased Price: $4.79*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 540 calories. No other nutritional information is available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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