I’m a simple gal: “cheesy,” “garlic,” and “pepperoni” are reliably three of my favorite things, so Sonic’s new Cheesy Garlic Pepperoni Bites should have been a slam dunk for me.
But I have to admit that their appearance made me hesitate. To get a bit philosophical on you, I consider a satisfying “bite” to be something that provides a consistent experience no matter where or how you chomp into it (take Little Caesars’ Crazy Puffs, for a recent example). While the triangular shape of the Bites is fun—if you squint, it could be reminiscent of a slice of pizza, which is a neat nod to their flavor, even though it also kind of makes them look like oversized Doritos—it creates a dilemma when trying to get a balanced mouthful.
The edges of each Bite are thin and crispy, with the filling packed in a plump pocket in the center, so if you were to take just a small nibble, you would totally miss what are arguably the most important flavors concentrated in the middle. But on the other hand, a bigger bite would inconveniently threaten to explode out the hot, liquid-like insides, and that’s not ideal either.
That didn’t end up being my largest issue with these, though. When I pulled apart one of the Bites, what I found didn’t look anything like the promotional image, which shows a neat delineation of gooey white cheese and perfect little pepperoni cubes. Even worse, it didn’t look pizza-adjacent at all. Frankly, what the orange mess specifically called to mind was wet cat food. I would describe the taste as “white noise punctuated by pepperoni.”
Befitting of the filling’s sludgy, indistinct appearance, I couldn’t taste clear notes of its garlic or cheese, just a general salty savoriness that occasionally tasted particularly pepperoni-ish. On paper, the filling is made up of mozzarella and provolone cheese, pepperoni, and pizza sauce; in practice, the filling is just “blah.” The thin morsels of meat did at least come through way more strongly than I would have guessed after having to squint to find them amidst the orangey ooze. And the cracker-like texture of the outer layer, while it was admittedly more flavorful and heartier than I expected, just wasn’t a good match for the filling. I think a soft center cries out for a doughy exterior, so the brittleness felt underwhelming.
These things aren’t very filling, either—you can order three, five, or seven pieces, and I had hoped that five would be enough to constitute a meal, but even with the extra Bite I swear my friendly cashier snuck in on purpose, I hardly felt nourished afterwards.
The Cheesy Garlic Pepperoni Bites are ultimately reminiscent of pizza in only the same way that a Lunchables pizza is: not very. (If you’re noticing, I’m making a lot of comparisons here; it’s because these things are simply not interesting enough to say much about on their own.) If you’re craving garlic, cheese, and pepperoni, why not just spring for the real thing?
Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 5 pieces
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 pieces) 210 calories, 11 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.
