I didn’t know there were so many Slim Jim varieties one could snap into. Not only do they come in different flavors, but also a range of sizes. Slim Jim’s latest varieties are the Slim Jim Giant Jamaican Style Jerk and Slim Jim Monster Zesty Garlic.

For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of snapping into a Slim Jim, Giant and Monster are two sizes Slim Jim offers. The Giant Slim Jims are tall, skinny, 28 grams in weight and can be used as an impromptu whip, while the Monster Slim Jims aren’t as tall, but are thicker, weigh 55 grams and can be used as an impromptu (insert imagination here).

The Slim Jim Giant Jamaican Style Jerk Flavor has a suggested retail price of $1.45 and the Slim Jim Monster Zesty Garlic will be $2.49. Both flavors will be available this month, probably at your nearest convenience store.

I wonder if it’s going to be agonizing for those who are trying to lose weight by eating Special K Cereal Bars to eat the latest flavors — Raspberry Cheesecake and Chocolatey Chip Cookie. I imagine not having the real thing and instead having to settle for a bar made with Special K cereal and either chocolatey chips or red raspberries with cheesecake flavor must somehow affect the psyche.

Right now, I’m eating a real chocolate chip cookie. Might I add, a warm chocolate chip cookie and the chunky, gooey chocolate chips are melting in my mouth, turning my oral cavity into a chocolate wonderland. Oops. Some of the melted chocolate ended up my fingers. I could use a napkin to clean off the chocolate, or I could just lick off the rich, melted chocolate. I hate to waste melted chocolate, so I’m just going to have to do what cats do when they need to clean themselves. My goodness, I don’t know how anyone could resist a warm chocolate chip cookie. It tastes like an angel.

I think I’m going to have another.

The Chocolatey Chip Cookie Bar has 90 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar and less than 1 gram of protein. The Raspberry Cheesecake Bar contains 90 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar and less than 1 gram of protein.

The latest Special K Cereal Bar flavors come in a box of six.

For those of you who follow snack news religiously, the Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos is old news since it was released last month. But I only heard about them the other day. Despite it being slightly old news, I decided to post something about it because, to be honest, I really wanted to write the title above.

If you’re a snack historian, you’ll know the Taco Flavor was the second Doritos flavor ever after Toasted Corn, and although I am old enough to have eaten them, I only remember eating the Toasted Corn Doritos. Eventually, the Taco Flavor went away.

The Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos follows what Pepsi has done with their Throwback Pepsi and Mountain Dew issues, which is to release them in packaging similar to the original. So if you want to trick your friends into thinking you’re eating something out of a time capsule, now would be the time.

The Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos retail for $3.99.

Every year it seems like Twix comes out with a limited edition version. I’d check to see if it’s true, but I just ate a Twix candy bar and my fingers are covered in chocolate, making it hard to type. But how am I typing this paragraph? I’m dictating it into my iPod Touch using the Dragon Dictation app.

Anyhoo, this year, Mars will be releasing the Limited Edition Twix Coconut.

According to Candyblog, the candy bar won’t have any coconut in them, instead it will have a little bit of coconut flavor. Besides that, it will have the same Twix ingredients that we all know, love, and buy impulsively when we’re in the checkout line waiting for some person who purchased enough food to feed a platoon; claims some of the products are on sale, which leads to price checks; asks for the groceries to be packed in paper and plastic; and writes a personal check.

Limited Edition Twix Coconut will be available starting in April 2011.

Source: Candyblog

Betty Crocker Whole Grain Helper is kind of like spraying Lysol on poop. The Lysol makes the poop smell a little better, but deep down it’s still poop. While the whole grain pasta or rice in Whole Grain Helper gives us something nutritionists say we need, but deep down it’s still Hamburger Helper.

Now I’m not dissing Hamburger Helper, because Hamburger Helper saved my life. Without it I would’ve starved in college or resorted to stealing my college roommate’s food. But Hamburger Helper can get quite unhealthy and I don’t think adding whole grains will give it any wholesomeness.

Betty Crocker Whole Grain Helper comes in two hamburger varieties and two chicken varieties: Cheeseburger Macaroni, Stroganoff, Honey Mustard Chicken and Lemon & Herb Chicken. The Honey Mustard Chicken contains 100 percent whole grain rice, while the other three varieties contain 100 percent whole grain pasta.

Source: Betty Crocker website