REVIEW: Sonic Pulled Pork BBQ Cheeseburger

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There are many things that pop into my mind when I think of Sonic: their magical, perfectly chewable ice nuggets, the amazing variety of drink and frozen treat options…and the time my wife spilled an entire Route 44 Cherry Coke on herself when she snagged the lid on the car door. Thankfully, she doesn’t read my reviews. She does not find nearly as much humor in that memory as I do.

One thing I don’t associate with Sonic is BBQ because, well, it’s Sonic. So I wasn’t sure what to expect when I ordered the new Sonic Pulled Pork BBQ Cheeseburger. To my mild surprise, it was quite good. Mind you, it’s not good like one of those BBQ places where you wait in line for 45 minutes and pray they don’t run out before you get to order, but if you have a hankering for some pulled pork and are pressed for time, this gets the job done.

This sandwich contains what you would expect based on the name — a burger patty, cheese, and pulled pork. The pork didn’t really wow me, but it was juicy and tender as it should be. It’s the little extras that make this shine. The meats are nestled in a pillowy, slightly sweet brioche bun with a blanket of pickles to add some crunch and acidic kick. Sonic claims it has “cherrywood smoke sauce,” which I quite enjoyed, despite detecting only the slightest hint of smoke flavor and certainly not enough for my palate to detect the type of tree from which any smoke might originate. The sauce did have a more complex flavor than what you might expect from a typical fast food BBQ condiment.

The end result was a juicy tag team of beef and pork with some tasty sauce that paired nicely with the pickles and mild cheese flavor. The great-tasting bun holds it all together beautifully. My only quibbles are that this thing is pretty salty, as the 1,590 milligrams of sodium confirms, and the $6.39 price tag seems a touch pricey, especially since mine wasn’t overflowing with pulled pork as the Sonic app led me to believe.

Sonic says this is a limited time item, so I plan to get it at least once or twice before it disappears. It’s also available as a simple pulled pork sandwich without the burger and as Totchos with cheese sauce, shredded cheese, pulled pork, and sauce on top of tots.

Purchased Price: $6.39
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 700 calories, 40 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1590 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Hot Honey Double Pepperoni Pizza

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I’m all for this hot honey trend that seems to have been going on for the past year or so. Just thinking of “hot honey” makes me smile. But not for the reasons you think.

It brings a smile to my face because saying, hearing, or reading the words “hot honey” makes me imagine Winnie the Pooh saying, “Oh, you’re looking hot, honey,” to an enticing, overfilled jar of honey in the most seductive voice that Winnie the Pooh can conjure up while rubbing his belly with both hands and wiggling his hips, with Piglet and Eeyore shaking their heads and covering their eyes.

Pizza Hut has jumped on the hot honey trend train with its new Hot Honey Double Pepperoni Pizza that features classic and crispy, cupped pepperoni and the chain’s new habanero-infused honey sauce, which, on this pizza, made me rub my belly with both hands and wiggle my hips.

Don’t let the words “habanero-infused” scare you if you’re afraid of habaneros because the hot honey doesn’t sting. There was a little burn, but it mostly made my mouth tingle. Pizza Hut’s crushed red peppers are spicier. The topping had a slight peppery flavor but mainly provided a pleasant burst of sweetness that went well with the savory meats and cheese. I liked the hot honey enough that when I got a bite that lacked any sweetness, which was rare, I lamented for a bit.

At first, I thought the addition of two different pepperoni was overkill. However, on top of the cupped pepperoni providing a crispy texture and a slightly different meaty flavor, they were also used as cups to contain the hot honey. I don’t know if that was intentional, but if it was, kudos, Pizza Hut.

If you want a pizza that’ll make you sweat or cause your mouth to burn so much that it’ll make you want to drink a cold glass of someone else’s sweat, Pizza Hut’s Hot Honey Pizza will not meet your high heat standards. But for me, saying its name and eating it makes me as happy as a particular pants-less teddy bear finding honey, and I would order it again over a regular pepperoni pizza.

Purchased Price: $15.99*
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 medium pizza slice) 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: International Delight Cold Foam Creamer

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Look at me! I’m a barista! I’m making fancy-looking coffee drinks with my cheap ground coffee and International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer. Maybe I should start a Marbucks?

The cold foam in a can comes in three varieties — French Vanilla, Sweet & Creamy, and Caramel Macchiato. I was only able to pick up the latter two.

Of course, the most important question you might be thinking is: Did I shoot it into my mouth like whipped cream? No, of course not. I’m a grown man with loans and someone I can claim as a dependent on my taxes, so I won’t use my hands to spray this cold foam into my mouth. I let my dependent do that. Although it’s not as saccharine as drinking liquid creamer, it’s still quite sweet, and spraying it into my mouth is something I won’t ask my dependent to do again.

Both flavors I tried are delightful. The Caramel one has a mild flavor but is still noticeable with coffee. And the Sweet & Creamy one is, well, sweet and creamy. Think of it as having roughly the same flavor as liquid sweet cream creamers on the market. If I pick this up again, I’d get the Sweet & Creamy one.

But I’m not sure I’d repurchase International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer because if I got addicted to it, it would get pricey quickly. You see, there are FORTY 2 tablespoon servings per container according to the nutrition label, but because I use a lot of creamer, I made the foam layer thiccc. That resulted in me getting about six or seven servings per can.

When I did drink my coffee with it, I liked to shovel some of the foam in my mouth with my top lip and then follow it up with some hot liquid. It ended up being the right balance of foam and coffee. I let the cold foam completely melt away a couple of times, which ended up tasting like any other java drink I’ve made with liquid creamer. It was fun to watch it cascade down the sides of my clear mug and into the hot coffee, and it took a long time to disappear because, again, I made my layers thiccc.

I like International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer but can’t see it as a regular purchase. I’d rather buy a big ol’ jug of liquid coffee creamer to make my morning caffeine tolerable. It would last longer, and besides, most of the time, I drink my coffee out of an insulated, not-see-through travel mug, so I wouldn’t be able to see the foam layer.

Purchased Price: $5.49 (sale price)
Size: 14 oz cans
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tbsp) Caramel Macchiato – 20 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Sweet & Creamy – 20 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo

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Puffy or crunchy?

Blue cheese or Ranch?

These questions have plagued humankind for… I don’t know how long, actually. I could probably research that, but I’m not here to do research. I’m here to review Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo.

Yup, we’ve got Buffalo-flavored Cheetos now – a massive win for the permanent orange-stained finger community.

At the risk of being shunned from society, I have a confession to make. I don’t worship Buffalo wings like seemingly every other dude on Earth. I like ’em. They’re fun every now and then, but I don’t inhale trays like you, Tim. I know you’re reading this, Tim.

The reason these appealed to me was not so much the Buffalo flavor but the fact they mixed said flavor with the standard Cheetos-style cheese. Sure, Buffalo and cheese isn’t exactly a novel duo, but Buffalo and that distinct Cheetos taste seemed like an interesting pairing.

My suspicions were spot on because these strike a nice balance between Buffalo sauce (do I need to capitalize Buffalo every time?) and a standard Cheeto.

The cheese acts as a chill pill for the Buffalo flavor, which I find to be a sauce that can easily go off the rails. I’ve tried Buffalo sauces that are so “Buffaloey” that they almost have an off-putting sour finish. You don’t get that here. They’re really good.

I might actually like these more than regular crunchy Cheetos.

I certainly like them more than Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which I’m on record calling one of the most overrated snacks on Earth. These have a heat to them that probably makes them more similar to the Flamin’ Hot line than the original. On a Buffalo wing sauce scale of “Mild to ‘You’ll Hallucinate Lucifer,’” these check in at around “Comfortably Hot.” I’d put the heat level a tick below Flamin’ Hot.

Since you’re wondering, yes, I dipped them in the superior chicken wing sauce, Ranch. It worked. I don’t think I’ve ever dipped Cheetos in anything before, but adding that Ranch cooling factor made me hope for a Buffalo ranch version someday.

I’m pretty impressed. These are Cheetos with a little twist, and dare I say the twist makes them better overall. They were some of the freshest Cheetos I’ve ever had and even lingered with a pleasant spiced corn aftertaste. I don’t know why I dug that, but it was a great capper.

My one complaint was not giving Chester a new, edgy Buffalo buddy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a buffalo in Oakleys before. They coulda named him “Butchie,” or “Bloo Cheez,” or “Dude, stop rambling and finish the review already.” I don’t know. Just something to keep in mind for the next bag.

Pick these up for sure. Hopefully, they’re successful, and Frito Lay runs the gamut on Cheetos and sauce pairings. BBQ, Ranch, Sriracha, whatever. Buffalo Cheetos made me think a lot of them would work.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 8.5 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 Pieces) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Smash’d Potato Bowl

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If you’re a fan of KFC’s Famous Bowls, get ready to be bowled over (heh) by the chicken chain’s newest offering, the similarly-themed-but-even-more-tater-filled Smash’d Potato Bowl. I get the line of thinking: fried chicken is often eaten with sides, which are often potato-based, and said potato-based sides often come with toppings, so why not give customers a meal that “smashes” all of these favorites together in one forkful (or, in the case of the utensil my local KFC provided, sporkful)?

This bowl begins with a base of mashed potatoes, which are then covered in a layer of fries, doused with cheese sauce, and then sprinkled with bacon bits. (The press release says there’s a three-cheese blend thrown in as well, but my meal gave no indication of that, so it was either really well-hidden or just not important enough to be remembered). You’ll notice that I didn’t actually mention chicken because it’s optional. If you opt for it, it comes in the form of five nuggets. Vegetarians, though they may not be KFC’s target audience, rejoice! … Oh, wait, there is still bacon even in the nugget-less variant, so vegetarians, stop rejoicing! Anyway, KFC’s nuggets are too “finger lickin’ good” for me to resist, so of course I had to add them.

All of these ingredients sound pretty promising, but unfortunately, throwing them together didn’t really wow me. In fact, what the haphazard mishmash made me think of more than anything was a school cafeteria lunch. The mashed potatoes were silky, pleasantly avoiding the grittiness and graininess that can sometimes creep in, but they had an odd aftertaste that made me want to focus on the other ingredients as much as possible. The fries were more delicious than I’d thought they’d be, crispy and savory on the outside but surprisingly and appealingly soft on the inside, but something about eating fries and mashed potatoes together did feel a bit ridiculous, even for an admittedly whimsical eater like me.

The thin, slightly tangy cheese sauce, to be frank, was gas-station quality. And while the bacon bits actually did impress me with how chewy and not-stringy they were, they were so concentrated in the center that the excess kept falling from my spork and getting lodged in the nooks and crannies of the bowl, so while they appeared pretty plentiful, most of them didn’t make it to my mouth. It didn’t shock me that KFC’s famous chicken, so juicy and zesty, was my favorite part by far, but it’s sad to think that the best bit of this is the one that’s optional.

KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowl does deliver on the starch-stuffed combo it promises, but your mileage may vary: the more noticeable thing it delivered for me was a hankering for a plain old order of chicken and fries — hold the elusive bacon, synthetic-tasting mash, and underwhelming cheese, please.

Purchased Price: $7.61
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 760 calories. Other nutritional information was unavailable at the time of review.

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