REVIEW: Kit Kat Pink Lemonade

/ / Reviews

If all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. . . . does that mean all strawberry lemonade is pink, but not all pink lemonade is strawberry?

Based on my collective understanding of geometry, the color wheel, and fruit, the answer is, “Yeah, sure.”

Luckily, Kit Kat takes a decided stance on what makes pink lemonade pink with its candy creme interpretation of the classic summer beverage. Kit Kat Pink Lemonade, a limited edition summer release, is described by the brand as “classic, crisp wafers wrapped in a pink lemonade flavored creme — this new flavor delivers a refreshing taste experience with unexpected hints of strawberry.”

The combination of strawberry and lemon in a Kit Kat sounded berry good to me. While the Lemon Crisp variety is one of my favorite Kit Kats, I worried that Kit Kat Pink Lemonade would be the very same flavor dressed up in a pink costume.

When I found a package of snack size bars at Walmart, I needed to quench the thirst of my curiosity. First impressions: The candy smells, for lack of a better word, pink—like pink Starburst or strawberry lip gloss. The creme coating is visually appealing, the perfect shade of creamy pink usually reserved for Valentine’s Day.

On first taste, I double-checked the packaging to be sure I hadn’t picked up a Valentine’s Day castoff that had been clinging to the shelves since February. The flavor was primarily strawberries and cream. Contrary to my fear of a Lemon Crisp clone, this Kit Kat reminded me more of Strawberry Ice Cream Cone Hershey Kisses, another summer offering. Both products have a strawberry milk vibe that is not too artificial and carries the creme’s sweetness well.

The lemon was hard to detect. At first, I thought the creaminess of the base might be hiding the flavor. I tasted the Kit Kats several times over the course of three days, and it has taken me that long to concede: there is some lemony tang in the aftertaste. It’s a zesty finish, if you will, like a drizzle of lemon juice on a strawberry shortcake.

I anticipate the comments section filling with disbelief: “You fool! These bars are dripping with zest!” “Thanks to Kit Kat, my mouth is in a permanent state of pucker!” “IDK, they taste like lemonade to me.”

If anyone’s experience does reflect my imaginings, I’ll eat my hat (as a palate cleanser before testing yet another Kit Kat Pink Lemonade). Until then, the Kit Kat Pink Lemonade bar is a familiar, fruity take on a summer favorite—just not the one you’re expecting.

Purchased Price: $2.37
Size: 5.88 oz package (contains twelve .49 oz snack size bars)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 2 bars) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Panda Express Hot Orange Chicken

/ / Reviews / 5 Comments

Did you know Panda Express’ Orange Chicken is spicy?

Take a look at the restaurant’s website; you’ll find a graphic with one pepper next to the Orange Chicken. I’ve always known the pepper image was there, but much like every slip of paper I’ve pulled out from a Panda Express fortune cookie, it’s meaningless. Besides the warmth of them being heated in a giant wok on a gas burner with a hypnotizing flame that calls out my name, I’ve never considered the popular entree as “spicy.” If you’re like me and roll your eyes about its “spiciness,” the fast food chain now offers Hot Orange Chicken and it has a graphic with TWO PEPPERS!!

Panda describes the spicy dish as “Crispy chicken bites wok-tossed in our signature orange sauce with more HEAT.” According to the chain, the original Orange Chicken recipe has one teaspoon of crushed chilies, but what brings the HEAT in this new dish is six scoops of those crushed chilies and a ladle full of dried chilies. Those dried ones are also in Panda’s Kung Pao Chicken, which also has a one-pepper graphic but is significantly spicier than regular Orange Chicken.

The small a la carte order I purchased had only two dried chili pepper pieces. I guess the luck of the ladle wasn’t with me. When I tried it without the dried peppers, it had a “spiciness” that was the same as the original Orange Chicken. So maybe mine was made with less than six teaspoons of crushed chilies? However, when I ate one of the dried chilies with the meat, the heat got kicked up a notch or two, so I guess the two pepper graphic accurately represented the dish’s spiciness. Also, the dried peppers changed the entree’s flavor a little, making it slightly less sweet than the original recipe.

Panda Express’ Hot Orange Chicken is not an improvement or as great as the original, and it’s not as hot as that alluring flame that heats the woks and calls for me to touch it. It can get spicy, but it depends on the luck of the ladle. If it pulls a lot of dried chilies, expect a burn with most bites. But if it ends up being like my order, expect some disappointment if you’re a heathead.

Purchased Price: $5.40
Size: Small container
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (6.92 oz) 590 calories, 7 grams of saturated fat, 53 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Mozzarella Fries

/ / Reviews / 4 Comments

I thought I’d seen all the shapes fried mozzarella could come in: cylindrical, square-ish, flat (looking at you, TGI Fridays), wedges, balls, curds… but I can confidently say that Burger King has surprised me with its new Mozzarella Fries.

To be clear, it’s not the “Mozzarella” part that’s new, just the conjunction with the “Fries” part. Burger King has had a more traditionally named and shaped order of mozzarella sticks on its menu before, but like its beloved poultry predecessor, the Chicken Fries, this new creation takes those standard sticks and stretches them into a longer, thinner shape (no potatoes are actually involved) and plops them into a cute and colorful carton for convenient—and showy—snacking.

However, I did have some confusion about whether they were intended to be an appetizer or the main event. I ordered mine from the “Sides” section on the kiosk, which seems pretty self-explanatory, but I was also given the more meal-esque option of 4, 8, or 12 pieces and an offer to actually “Make it a meal?” by adding, well, regular fries. That seemed like a bit of a stretch (no pun intended), so I demurred, but I still ordered the largest size and got something that at least resembled a proper dinner in terms of portion, if not nutritional content.

Anyway, the ideal mozzarella stick for me is one with cheese that’s dense rather than stretchy, with the mozzarella and the breading being such distinct entities that you can nibble the breading off entirely without marring the solid contents within. That, as I guessed just by looking at them, is not the experience provided by the Mozzarella Fries. The cheese and the breading here are quite codependent; when you take a bite of the thick, crisp outside, the hot, runny inside instantly loses its shape, oozing out in an Instagram-worthy cheese pull.

The thinness of these sticks makes them quite brittle, too: a good portion of my order was bent or snapped completely in half, which didn’t really detract from the quality but was interesting to note in comparison to the sturdier, stabler conventional mozzarella stick.

And just like it doesn’t have much of its own shape, the mozzarella doesn’t have much of its own flavor either. The toasty breading, which was fried potently enough to give off a powerful smell and had a small bit of zest from a spice I couldn’t identify but whose presence I appreciated, made up most of the taste experience. Even when I nibbled some of the stretchy cheese on its own, I was hard-pressed to come up with a description for it. It was just mild (and perhaps even, as the kids would say, “mid”).

These come with marinara sauce on the side, which seemed like a sensible way to jazz things up… but don’t be fooled. I was mildly concerned upon opening my packet and seeing a dark, gelatinous mass that looked more like barbecue sauce. I should have heeded that discomfort because the sauce was so acidic it tasted like I was dipping my Mozzarella Fries in straight vinegar.

Overall, though, these still provided a great experience—the novel fry shape and the joyfulness of mozzarella sticks, in general, were fun enough that I was happy to overlook the fact that they’re ever so slightly lackluster. Apologies for being cheesy, but there is “mozz” to like!

Purchased Price: $6.39
Size: 12 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 730 calories, 36 grams of fat, 2,350 milligrams of sodium, 71 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Haagen-Dazs New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

/ / Reviews / 2 Comments

I just spent the past five minutes looking up the differences between New York Cheesecake and regular cheesecake. If you’re also as clueless as me, according to my quick research, the NY version is basically more dense and is so dense that it will make your stomach regret eating anything more than a small slice. Yes, there’s more to it than that, but we don’t have time to go down that rabbit hole because we’re here to discuss Häagen-Dazs’ new New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream, which is not as dense as a New York cheesecake.

Peel off the lid, and you’ll find cheesecake-flavored ice cream, strawberry sauce swirls, and spiced graham cracker crust pieces. Scrape off a layer or two, and what you’ll see looks like a strawberry syrup hurricane forming on top of the islands of Chewandswallow, Chompandgulp, and Devourandgorge.

The strawberry syrup isn’t goopy, which is surprising. Instead, it’s blended in with the base a little, which is the best way I can describe it. The base and swirls are combined in a way that ensures you’ll get both with every spoonful, no matter what angle your spoon attacks the container. When I scoop up both, it mostly tastes like strawberry ice cream, but there are rare times when it’s definitely cheesecake. I guess the tang from the cheesecake ice cream is at the same level as it would be for strawberry ice cream. That’s not a bad thing, but maybe cheesecake pieces should’ve been added to enhance the ice cream base’s flavor and, perhaps, add some denseness to the dessert.

As for the spiced graham cracker crust pieces, they go perfectly well with the fruity and tangy flavors. Their gritty texture and flavor probably do more to convince me this is a cheesecake-flavored ice cream instead of a strawberry one than the actual cheesecake-flavored ice cream. Plus, they are plentiful throughout the pint, um, I mean, 14 fluid ounce container, and some of the pieces were surprisingly crunchy.

Overall, Häagen-Dazs’ New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream is tasty but doesn’t blow my mind. Also, I question whether the “New York” in its name is necessary because it lacks something that brings to mind the denseness of the regional cheesecake, which separates it from others.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: 14 fl oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 300 calories, 20 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (including 19 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme

/ / Reviews / 7 Comments

During my 12-minute walk from home after picking up Taco Bell’s Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme, the only thought that kept crossing my mind was how soggy the colossus Cheez-It cracker would be by the time I got home and had a chance to eat it. Actually, that thought has been in my head since 2022, when the collaboration went viral after the internet learned the product was being tested at one location in California. A giant Cheez-It is cool and all, but does a cracker made from enriched flour have more resilience than a corn chip, which can withstand dips of every kind?

Well, I can now find out and fill the grey matter occupied by that thought with something more useful since the special Crunchwrap is now available for everyone to wrap their hands around and crunch into. The limited time offering features seasoned beef, nacho cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and a Big Cheez-It Cracker, all wrapped in a grilled flour tortilla. The massive cracker, the standout feature, replaces the tostada shell in the original Crunchwrap Supreme.

How big is “big”? According to Taco Bell’s website, the giant Cheez-It is 16 times larger than a regular Cheez-It. It also claims it’s 16 times cheesier and 16 times crunchier. After trying it, I believe its size claims, but everything else, not so much.

I wondered if I received a regular Crunchwrap because that’s what it tasted like after the first bite. But after unwrapping it, I saw a corner of the cracker peeking out from under a mountain of toppings, so no social media complaining needed. With the next bite, I began to notice the sharp cheesiness of the Cheez-It, but it was too mild for my liking, and there was no crunch associated with it. I expected it to be the headlining act instead of a backup singer. Its flavor is perhaps less noticeable than the corn tostada in the regular Crunchwrap, which, no shade, can also maintain most of its crunchiness after 12-minute walks home. The Cheez-It’s cracker crunch never materialized except for a couple of bites. At closer inspection, most of it seemed pulverized after being exposed to the moisture and heat within the grilled flour tortilla. But again, it had to withstand being in the tortilla wrap for double-digit minutes. If you’re eating it seconds after it is handed to you, the crunch might still be there.

I can’t help but be disappointed with Taco Bell’s Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme. While the cracker is indeed 16 times larger than a regular Cheez-It, which is impressive, and the cheesy flavor is somewhat present, I couldn’t help but wish for a more pronounced cheesiness and a crunch that comes close to its 16-times claim. Heck, four times would’ve made it better.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 470 calories, 17 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 1210 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar (including 2 grams of added sugar), and 15 grams of protein.

Scroll to Top