REVIEW: Limited Edition Sour Patch Kids Oreo Cookies

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Oreo cookies? Great.

Sour Patch Kids? Great.

Frosted Flakes? They’re gr-r-reat, but they have nothing to do with this review. This review is for Sour Patch Kids Oreo. Surely, that combo couldn’t possibly be great, right?

We’ve reached the “dart throwing” phase of Oreo flavor variants. While those kids from the sour patch have invaded cereal and ice cream recently, I didn’t have Oreo on my Sour Patch Bingo card.

These bizarre confections are starting to pop up in stores. I was able to snag a 4-pack at 7-Eleven, and I’m thankful that’s all I got. Like actual kids, I think four is the absolute max anyone can handle.

Both the cookies and the crème are speckled with colorful Sour Patch Kid-flavored dots, which, unfortunately, aren’t chewy. They mimic the crystalized sugar that coats the kids.

The sour batch of sour patch smells really good fresh from the package, but nothing like a cookie. It’s Sour Patch by way of Pixie Stick. If you’re wondering why I know the distinct smell of Pixie Sticks… let’s just say I was a Very Dumb Kid, and some Pixie Sticks may have made their way into my nasal cavity.

The Oreo cookie has a bit of a graham flavor, but I don’t think the SPK flecks really come through with much flavor. It’s a hint –- the ghost of a Sour Patch Kid. Innocence lost.

The flecks in the crème, however, definitely pop, but they’re sour, so it’s kind of off-putting. Something about a simulacrum of a dairy product being sour just doesn’t sit right. As far as the actual flavor, it reminded me of sour orange sherbet more than anything, but I think most people would know these are Sour Patch-inspired.

Once I ate the cookie whole, I came up with a weird overall flavor and texture profile in my head. Picture a package of Fun-Dip, but for some reason, the powder got moist and turned into a goopy mud. That. Why that? I don’t know, but even the bland cookie acts as a little bit of a sour neutralizer like the Fun-Dip stick does.

I don’t think these are very successful as a flavor, but as a gimmick… sure, why not? It’s fun. It’s weird.

I definitely think orange is the fruit flavor that comes to the forefront, so just picture orange Sour Patch Kids and bland Teddy Grahams in one bite. A kid would probably like that, no?

I have to add the fact that the aftertaste on these is kinda awful. Malic acid just lingers on the side of your tongue. SPKs are supposed to be sour and THEN sweet, but here, it’s the opposite. The sourness gets more and more pronounced as you chew, and it takes a while to dissipate.

So, not great, but probably the best they could’ve done. If you’re interested, just go to 7-Eleven like I did. Wait until the dart hits Frosted Flake Oreo Cookies to get a family pack.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 2.40 oz package
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Pack/4 Cookies) 290 calories, 13 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and less than 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Gatorade Limited Edition Midnight Ice

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Gatorade Midnight Ice, as its angsty color and name suggest, is a bit of an oddball. Most of the better-known Gatorade variants hint at their flavor via their color, like the grape-flavored light purple Riptide Rush, or blatantly call out the flavor in their name — you can’t get more straightforward than the orange, well, Orange. But it’s hard to put a finger on what fruit this black drink is supposed to evoke. It’s as if this emo-looking Gatorade is lamenting, “No one understands me!” In fact, it seems like the whole point of this flavor is to be mysterious and slightly spooky. Just look at the promo photos, which present Midnight Ice as an inky abyss darker than a vampire’s soul!

Unfortunately, as soon as you lay eyes on this flavor in real life, it’s apparent that its color is way closer to purple than jet black. And also… it tastes pretty similar to any other cool-colored Gatorades I’ve had. If you gave me a blind taste test of Midnight Ice and, let’s say, Cool Blue and Fierce Grape (and yes, I did have to pop onto the helpfully color-coded Gatorade Wiki to find those names instead of using my usual pet names for them, plain old “Blue” and “Purple”), I’m not confident I could tell the difference.

But of course, that comparison is only helpful if you’ve had a similar Gatorade flavor before. How would I describe this to someone with no frame of reference?

Honestly, I think the “purple=grape” association is so hard-wired that that’s my immediate comparison, even though upon further reflection, the taste doesn’t really feel as grape-y as the color does. When I close my eyes and open my mind, what comes to mind is that Midnight Ice is a rich yet mellow blend that’s kind of sweet, kind of tart, kind of tangy, kind of salty, and more than kind of artificial tasting… and yet all of these seemingly conflicting flavors work. It’s vaguely reminiscent of cough syrup yet so drinkable that the prospect of consuming a 28-ounce bottle feels comforting, not repulsive. It’s refreshing, the kind of more-exciting-than-water-but-still-not-too-overwhelming beverage that’s easy to crave and chug, whether you’re exercising, recovering from an illness, or just trying to beat the heat. All in all, while the drink isn’t as remarkable as its stark marketing would suggest, it’s definitely tasty, a fine addition to the Gatorade line (though I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to find it again since it’s only available in 28-ounce bottles at 7-Eleven or packs of 20-ounce bottles at Walmart).

I compared Midnight Ice to an emo teen earlier, but while those kids usually defend their style by asserting, “It’s not just a phase,” Midnight Ice can’t say the same. It’s a limited edition, so I’d recommend trying it soon if you want a fun new sports drink… or if you’re just trying to develop a more discerning palate for differentiating between similarly colored Gatorade flavors.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per bottle) 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Reign Storm 2024 Energy Drink Flavors

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Oh, hey!!! New Reign Storm flavors!!! Let’s get caffeinated!!! Whoa!!! Too many exclamation points! Maybe I’m already too caffeinated!

This year’s lot features Strawberry Apricot, Mango, Citrus Zest, and Guava Strawberry. They come in the same 12-ounce slim cans as all other Reign Storm varieties and feature “clean energy,” which means the 200 milligrams of caffeine are provided by plant sources like green coffee beans, green tea extract, ginseng, guarana, and guayusa. They also have zero sugar and no artificial preservatives, flavors, or colors.

Much like the original Reign Storm varieties, there isn’t a bad tasting one in this bunch. But if you’re staring at all of these new ones at the store and only want to buy one, let me be your energy drink sommelier and recommend getting the Mango or Guava Strawberry. The former has a sweet tropicalness that shouts mango in my head. It nails the fruit’s flavor, and I’m glad it wasn’t paired with another to take away some of the spotlight. Guava Strawberry had a perfect balance between the two flavors, and it was berry berry good. Although that isn’t surprising since Monster did a great job with its Ultra Strawberry Dreams, which I thought had a slight guava flavor.

Great, but not quite as great as the two above was Citrus Zest. After tasting it and looking at the grapefruit on its can, I can’t help but think this tastes similar to the Monster Ultra Ruby Red Fantasy that came out earlier this year. Although I thought the grapefruit stood out a bit more with this. And, finally we come to Strawberry Apricot, which I enjoyed as much as Citrus Zest. The balance was like 60 percent strawberry and 40 percent apricot, and it made for a tasty energy drink, which again is not surprising because of how well Monster does strawberry.

Much like Monster’s Ultra line, I didn’t notice the artificial sweeteners in these, which are sucralose, acesulfame potassium, and erythritol. I had somewhat of an issue with the sweeteners coming through when I covered the original flavors, but I didn’t experience it with these.

Reign Storm Energy Drinks are like Monster Ultra with benefits. They have the same great taste, and similar flavors, as the Ultra line, but also have more caffeine and ingredients that help accelerate metabolism, provide immunity support, and help support hair and skin health. But I really wish they came in 16-ounce cans so that I could have more caffeine, more helpful vitamins, and more tasty liquid to drink.

DISCLOSURE: I received free product samples from Monster. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 12 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Received from Monster
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Mango and Guava Strawberry), 7 out of 10 (Citrus Zest and Strawberry Apricot)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 280 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein,.

REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Waffle Cereal

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Quite recently, on this web page, I spent a few hundred words bemoaning the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Committee’s efforts at integrating its product into places it maybe didn’t belong. The product of my focused ire in this specific instance was its attempt at crossbreeding its fine cereal product with Old El Paso taco shells. As part of my hard-hitting expose, I also mentioned its failures related to soft-baked cereal bars and peculiarly large “Stuft” marshmallows.

Garbage, all.

The good news about the new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Waffle cereal, though, is that it is, in no uncertain terms, a cereal. And if there’s one thing Cinnamon Toast Crunch shines at, it is being cereal. In fact, at any given moment, it is a Top 3 cereal. Maybe even Number 1. And its offshoots — for not being straight-up, dyed-in-the-wool CTC — are reasonably decent. The little balls they made were okay. The Rolls, various Leche(s), and French Toast riffs are all above average.

So what of this new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Waffle cereal?

The website acts like this is simply alternatively shaped CTC. It states, “Cinnamon Toast Crunch Waffle Cereal pairs epic cinnamon-sugar CINNADUST with crispy cereal pieces shaped like mini waffles. The whole wheat and corn cereal delights taste buds with real cinnamon and a crispy crunch.” But here’s the deal: I absolutely detect waffle flavoring in here as well. There’s a syrup-like undertone at the beginning and back end of each bite, and the whole shebang is covered in a ton of heavenly Cinnadust seasoning. It is, simply put, incredible. It took a lot of willpower to not eat more than one large bowl in my initial serving. It was just that delicious.

If I have one minor quibble — something that keeps this from being a perfect 10 — it’s that structurally, it doesn’t hold up well to milk. And on account of this is a cereal and all, that’s kind of problematic. This stuff gets soggy QUICK. Not inedibly soggy, no, but the crispness is deflated by a solid 65% within 30 seconds of a milk bath. On any lesser cereal, this would be a much bigger deal, but because this stuff was so good, all it did was make me eat it as fast as humanly possible.

I don’t know if General Mills intends on keeping this around as a regular offering or not, so my suggestion is to get several boxes now, and freeze-dry the ones that you… oh, who am I kidding— there’s no saving this stuff for later. Eat and enjoy while you can.

Purchased Price: $4.93
Size: 18.2 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (41 grams) 170 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 10 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sprite Chill

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Have you ever enjoyed a nice cold soda and thought to yourself, “Wow, this is great, but if only there was a way to make it seem ever so slightly cooler?” I haven’t, or if I have, I probably just reached for some ice. If you lack access to anything frozen and are still searching for something to give you a cold boost, perhaps Sprite Chill is for you.

Billing itself as the “coldest-est” yet, this Cherry-Lime spin on Sprite claims to be the first soft drink to utilize a cooling sensation without also having a mint flavor (I guess this means Coca-Cola Starlight’s cooling trick used mint?) and the feeling is meant to intensify as you continue to drink it. The idea of a mint-less cooling effect sounds neat, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love a good food gimmick, but I was even more interested in the Cherry-Lime flavor. With visions of icy cool cherry limeade in mind, I dove into my fridge-cold bottle.

To fit the chill theme, the drink itself has been given a frosty appearance. More opaque than a typical Sprite, it looks the part of something glacial. The cherry is noticeable in the first sniff and sip, but it’s certainly subtle. I’m relieved not to get a medicinal vibe, but I wish there was more oomph. Sprite already starts with a lemon-lime flavor, so I expected the cherry-lime would boost the lime and also bring a stronger cherry taste. The cooling sensation wasn’t immediately obvious to me, and instead of being extra refreshing, I felt like I was drinking a somewhat muted Sprite with a few cherries sitting in it for a while. You would think that whatever provides the cooling sensation would be more immediately refreshing, but I think this rendition almost lacks some of the crispness of original Sprite.

No longer married to gum and toothpaste, this “cooling” has recently shown up in several products and the consensus seems to be that it isn’t a very strong effect. I can notice it in Sprite Chill, but much like the cherry flavor, it’s subtle. If the press release is to be believed, the sensation should build as I keep drinking, but I don’t think it ever truly reaches a level beyond “I guess this is kind of tingly.” There’s a bit of that feeling you’d get from a menthol cough drop, minus the taste, but I don’t know if I’d even have this observation if I wasn’t actively looking for it. I like this soda, but I find it so unremarkable that I’m not sure why anyone bothered to make it. There isn’t enough cherry or lime to really make it stand out, and the chilling gimmick it relies on isn’t especially detectable. This Sprite isn’t bad, but it just doesn’t thrill or really chill me.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 20 fl oz
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle regular) 240 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 64 grams of total carbs, 64 grams of total sugars (incl. 64 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.

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