REVIEW: Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box

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Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box

I feel super uncool about not knowing what the heck Five Nights at Freddy’s is. And I feel even worse that this Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box promotes Five Nights at Freddy’s 2.

TWO! I didn’t even know there was a ONE!

So absolutely no Five Nights at Freddy’s references in this review. Wait? Is this a movie, YouTube thing, TikTok thing, video game, or a sequel to that Tom Green movie? See, that’s how lame I am. I didn’t even look it up beforehand to make myself look cool and knowledgeable. I’m being totally transparent about my ineptitude with popular culture. Heck, I’m being so lame that I called it “popular culture” instead of “pop culture.”

Before I admit to worse things about myself, let’s discuss this fast food box. The meal comes with three pieces of signature chicken tenders topped with a savory garlic parmesan rub, warm Garlic Cheesy Bites with a marinara sauce, a Cupcake Cup, and a drink of your choice. There’s also a non-deluxe version of the box that comes with only the chicken tenders and Cheesy Bites.

Despite all the garlic that’s promised in this treasure chest of golden fried foods, I can’t say I taste a lot of it.

Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box chicken tenders

The chicken tenders had a weak garlic parmesan flavor. I really had to really focus to notice it. But for the most part, it tastes like plain Popeyes chicken tenders with the Cajun seasoning. Maybe not enough garlic parmesan rub? As for the “garlic crusted” Cheesy Bites, they tasted like standard mozzarella sticks to me. There’s a hint of garlic, but “garlic crusted” made me believe it would be more prominent.

Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box Cheesy Wads

Oh, as you can see, my Cheesy Bites were a cheesy mess. Obviously, something went wrong in the kitchen with my order, and instead of Cheesy Bites, I got Cheesy Wads (feel free to use that fast food companies). But whatever happened didn’t affect their flavor. Besides, it came with a side of marinara, which masked the breading’s seasoning, making them taste even more like standard mozzarella sticks.

Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box marinara sauce

Popeyes Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box Cupcake Cup

The meal’s most colorful part was the Cupcake Cup, a moist strawberry-flavored cake topped with sweet pink icing, which would’ve been great to promote the Barbie movie. The cake is chilled, and it’s probably the highlight of the Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box. Despite the thick layer of icing, I didn’t find the dessert overly sweet. The strawberry flavor in the dense cake was artificial, but still quite delicious. However, my wife thought it was too artificial.

To recap, the Cheesy Bites were mid, the chicken tenders had an underwhelming garlic parmesan flavor, and I can really only recommend the Cupcake Cup. So while not as lame as I am, Popeyes’ Freddy Fazbear Deluxe Box was disappointing.

Purchased Price: $16.99*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Garlic Cheesy Bites – 620 calories, 50 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1120 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein. 3Pc Garlic Parmesan Classic Tenders – 390 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 1590 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 34 grams of protein. Cupcake Cup – 370 calories, 12 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat (that can’t be right), 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Starbucks Cinnamon Pull-Apart

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Starbucks Cinnamon Pull-Apart closeup

Starbucks may be synonymous with coffee, but the chain isn’t exactly known for its less drinkable menu options. With the holidays in full swing, the java giant is trying to change that perception with offerings like the Cinnamon Pull-Apart, which is basically a product that’s half croissant and half mini-cinnamon rolls fused together. In essence, it’s a monkey bread pastry in a fancy little sleeve.

Starbucks Cinnamon Pull-Apart pulled apart

The Pull-Apart itself is kind of hard to describe. Or at least harder to describe than I anticipated. To the untrained eye, it might be confused for a slightly larger muffin than normal. It’s not until you’re actually holding it in your hand that you realize the item is actually multiple baked goods in one package, and even then, you may not immediately recognize it as a cinnamon roll-like comestible. Of course, the scent is unmistakable — it may not look like a regular old cinnamon roll, but it definitely smells like one.

Starbucks Cinnamon Pull-Apart closer up

As for the taste, it’s a lot of good and a few minor quibbles. For starters, it’s a pretty hefty little croissant, with a nice speckling of sugar and a hearty smattering of streusel — which you might know by its less artistic culinary namesake, “crumb topping.” My Pull-Apart had about five, maybe five-and-a-half little croissant balls wedged together, and I was actually surprised by how filling the seemingly lightweight snack was. This thing has some weight to it, so if you’re eating it as a post-breakfast tide-me-over, don’t be surprised if it wipes out the need for lunch altogether. It’s hearty stuff, especially when you pair it with a venti dark roast with four protein shots and extra oat milk.

Starbucks Cinnamon Pull-Apart single part pulled

There’s not that much variation between fast food cinnamon rolls (and let’s be real, they can call these things whatever they want, they’re still cinnamon rolls), and I’d contend that this is one of the better ones I’ve tried from a big-name, national brand. Obviously, it’s not as good as something you’d get from a “real” bakery, but it’s pretty respectable stuff all the same. It nails just the right balance between crispy and chewy, which has always been the Achilles’ heel of similar products. It’s got a lot of flavor without being too overwhelming, which makes it a solid choice for a (relatively) low-calorie fast food snack.

As for the product’s biggest downside, let me sum it up in one word: frosting. Or more accurately, the lack of frosting. I can understand why Starbucks would’ve taken a “healthier” approach with these things, but if you’re buying cinnamon rolls from a drive-thru window, you don’t just expect adequate amounts of icing, you demand it. The lack of dipping sauce here is just unconscionable — especially with so many holiday tie-in flavors to take advantage of this time of year.

And yes, I know that monkey bread is traditionally served sans frosting. But if you’re gonna sell a baked good with “cinnamon” in its name, be prepared for customers to inevitably compare it to a cinnamon roll.

The Pull-Apart is good, perhaps even better than I expected. But it’s nothing you haven’t tried before. The concept’s got promise, though — a PSL glaze on these things would be awesome.

Purchased Price: $3.25
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories — 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 mg of cholesterol, 350 mg of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein

REVIEW: Hershey’s Snickerdoodle Cookie Kisses

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Hershey's Snickerdoodle Cookie Kisses bag design

Halloween has come and gone, and while the Pumpkin Spice Period isn’t totally over (you usually see some straggling items until at least Thanksgiving), we are now firmly entrenched in Christmas Food Season.

Everything is sugar-cookied or gingerbreaded, with the occasional item even getting nogged. The best Christmasization, arguably, is when things get snickerdoodle’d. I don’t remember “snickerdoodle” being so ubiquitously Christmas when I was young. But I also have a working theory that pumpkin spice wasn’t even a thing until about 15 years ago, so who really knows.

Hershey's Snickerdoodle Cookie Kisses foil wrappers

Well, I do love a snickerdoodle— regardless of the season, quite frankly— but I truly wasn’t expecting to enjoy these new Hershey’s Snickerdoodle Cookie Kisses as much as I did.

Part of my trepidation was likely due to the “white creme” base of these Kisses. Oftentimes, any cheap confection labeled “white creme” or “white chocolate” is waxy and prone to leaving a weird film in your mouth. These delightful little nuggets did nothing of the sort. Instead, there was a genuine bit of creaminess, which was surprising.

Hershey's Snickerdoodle Cookie Kisses cookie bits

The contrasting texture of the cookie pieces worked well, too, adding a light, sweet crunch. Speaking of, each Kiss had plenty of little cookie bits. They lent a subtle hint of cinnamon and sugar, and dare I say… butteriness? I didn’t expect as much nuanced flavor as these little Kisses provided.

In the end, I was left with a surprising amount of fondness for these Snickerdoodle Kisses. Will I eat this whole bag well before Christmas? Yes. And will I buy another bag to use for thumbprint snickerdoodle cookies? That actually sounds like a great idea.

Purchased Price: $4.97
Size: 9 oz bag
Rating: 8 out of 10
Purchased at: Walmart
Nutrition Facts: (7 pieces) 160 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Red Bull Winter Edition Fuji Apple & Ginger Energy Drink

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Red Bull Winter Edition Fuji Apple & Ginger Energy Drink can

Why hasn’t there been an apple-flavored ginger ale, Canada Dry, Seagram’s, and Schweppes?

It sounds like a tasty idea that none of you have had the gingers to create. Instead, we have Red Bull, an energy drink brand, might I remind you, coming up with this Red Bull Winter Edition Fuji Apple & Ginger Energy Drink, which, sure, isn’t ginger ale, but has the flavor of one.

Y’all too tired to come up with new flavors, you say? More like too lazy, Seagram’s, because you never come up with new varieties. And you, Schweppes, how about you Schwep yourself onto your feet and put some blood, Schwep, and tears into flavor development. And you, Canada Dry… well, I hope you’ll read this and make an apple ginger ale a reality, because you’re the only one making a real effort with new varieties.

But for all of you ginger ale makers, this Red Bull Fuji Apple & Ginger Energy Drink will give you wings, caffeine, and an idea of what an apple-flavored ginger ale could taste like.

Red Bull Winter Edition Fuji Apple & Ginger Energy Drink in a glass

Although I must admit, my first experience with this energy drink was a little weird. It smelled very apple-y, and didn’t really give a hint that some ginger was involved. When I took my first sip, the sweet apple flavor hit my taste buds first, but as the transition to the ginger began, it tasted like dirt —or “earthy,” if I want to be less harsh about it. However, that twist was brief. As the earthiness mellowed, the ginger kicked in, and together with the apple, it was pretty good. But that fleeting dirt taste was odd.

But you know what they say, “Never judge an energy drink by the first can you try.” Thinking I’d love this before even trying it, I bought two cans. My experience with the second can was much better, and I didn’t get that earthiness. Maybe because the can got to chill in the fridge overnight, while the first one didn’t? Whatever it was, it made a difference, and what you’re basically going to taste here is a delicious apple-flavored ginger ale, with a balance between the two flavors. Although it has a slightly less satisfying apple flavor than the also recently introduced Monster Bad Apple Energy Juice, it’s still very pleasing.

This year’s Winter Edition Red Bull also comes in a sugar-free version. But I’d really like the Big Ginger Ale to come up with an apple version of their ginger ales. Maybe next holiday season, as a gift for all of us?

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 12 fl oz can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 38 grams of sugar (including 38 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion

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Wendy's Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion sign

What better way to celebrate the chilly holidays than with a cold, refreshing treat? While that may be a controversial statement to those who think frozen desserts are only for when it’s hot outside, my love for ice cream knows no winter break. That’s why I was thrilled to hear that Wendy’s has released a new limited-edition Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty, a flavor that balances the chilliness of the beloved dairy dessert with the cozy, toasty vibe of the classic cinnamon-sugar cookie.

Wendy's Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion cup

Wendy's Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion top

Anyone who is overwhelmed by choices might want to sit this one out, because on top of selecting either chocolate or vanilla for your ice cream base, this Frosty also requires you to pick from two additional options: the Swirl, which is more of a loose pile of soft serve and snickerdoodle sauce (try saying that five times fast!), and the Fusion, which doesn’t just throw on cookie pieces but blends them in, making the whole treat more dense and Blizzard-esque. I’m well-acquainted with this difference because I ordered a Fusion but the Wendy’s employee originally made me a Swirl; frankly, either one sounded delicious, so I was prepared to just happily accept my fate, but then he realized his mistake with a charmingly enormous Kevin-from-Home-Alone “OH NO” face and, a few moments later, my Frosty was looking a lot more compact and cookie-y.

Wendy's Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion cookies

The first thing I noticed was that the cookie pieces (which ranged in size from what I’d describe as “bits” to what were undeniably “chunks”) were way crunchier than I had expected. I’d assumed that they either would have been from a cakier soft-baked cookie or would have just become soggy in the ice cream, so the crispness was a pleasant surprise.

I chose the vanilla base, and I liked how the plainer flavor emphasized the ice cream’s creaminess in contrast to those cookie pieces. The thick swirls of snickerdoodle sauce added extra, slightly caramel-tinged sweetness without being too over-the-top. While each on its own was fairly simple, the combination of these three elements felt—and tasted—downright decadent.

Wendy's Snickerdoodle Cookie Frosty Fusion syrup

Each ingredient had a distinct flavor, but they mixed well. I particularly appreciated the dynamic drama of the eating experience—some bites were creamy and others more cookie-filled, certain spoonfuls let the sauce shine, and then there were meltier mouthfuls… though I had expected to consume my Frosty ravenously, the smorgasbord of different tastes and textures encouraged me to slow down and be more mindful of each separation sensation, which was stimulating and satisfying.

Whether you’re a Swirler or a Fusionist, the Snickerdoodle Frosty is a luxurious treat. While you may not be able to use it to warm up after playing in the snow or leave it by the fireplace for Santa, its high-quality execution of an appealing premise still makes it a gift I’d love to find under my Christmas tree.

Purchased Price: $4.99

Size: Medium

Rating: 9 out of 10

Nutrition Facts: 580 calories, 16 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 96 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

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