REVIEW: Pringles Mingles

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Years ago, Pringles attempted to convince us to flavor stack, combining different flavors to create new ones. I don’t know how successful that campaign was, but I don’t recall ever doing it. But now Pringles is doing the flavor mixing for us with the cornmeal-based Pringles Mingles, a new line of crunchy puffy snacks with four fused flavors: Sharp White Cheddar & Ranch, Cheddar & Sour Cream, BBQ & Pizza, and Dill Pickle & Ranch. However, I could only procure three of the four at Walmart.

First off, let me say how much I love this product’s name because it’s incredibly clever, it’s fun to say, and I’m a sucker for rhyming. Saying Pringles Mingles gives me the giggles and tingles. The puffs come in a curved bow tie shape, and they have a texture that’s not as airy as Cheetos Puffs but also not as dense as Cheetos Crunchy. Also, a serving is frickin’ 56 PIECES!!!

The Cheddar & Sour Cream one is the tastiest of the three I tried, but I’m not surprised. Numerous other crunchy snacks have shown us that the two flavors work exceptionally well when paired. For example, Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream is the best Ruffles variety. Heck, even regular Pringles has a tasty Cheddar & Sour Cream flavor. There’s a pleasant tanginess from the sour cream and a sharp bite from the cheddar flavoring. Also, my taste buds sometimes got a Cheetos Puffs vibe from them. I could eat these light orange puffs all day, every day.

When I first tried the Sharp White Cheddar & Ranch one, I instantly thought it tasted familiar. At first, my mind leaned towards a White Cheddar Cheetos, but that didn’t seem right in my head. Its flavor starts with a sharp cheesiness, and then the ranch kicks in the background. It’s got a great savory flavor, but it’s not as addictive as the Cheddar & Sour Cream one. After eating one-third of the bag, I finally realized why this tasted so familiar. The aftertaste reminded me of Chicken in a Biskit crackers. I could eat these white speckled puffs some of the time.

Finally, there’s the BBQ & Pizza, which I found to taste odd initially. The pizza seasoning is the most dominant of the two. Its cheese, herb, and tomato flavor is common with most pizza-flavored snacks, and the smoky, sweet taste similar to other barbecue-flavored snacks is right underneath it. While I did think the combination was weird at first, the more I ate it, the more I enjoyed it. I think it helps that pizza is the dominant flavor because I love me some pizza-flavored snacks. I could see myself eating these dark orange puffs every so often.

While I enjoy the three flavors, the one slight downside to them is that the seasoning left on my fingers isn’t as flavorful as what I’d taste after eating a Cheetos or Doritos. Also, I totally forgot to mingle the Pringles Mingles to stack even more flavors. I’m such a dingle…berry.

Purchased Price: $4.24 each
Size: 5.5 oz bags
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Cheddar & Sour Cream), 7 out of 10 (Sharp White Cheddar & Ranch), 7 out of 10 (BBQ & Pizza)
Nutrition Facts: (56 pieces/1 oz) Cheddar & Sour Cream – 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Sharp White Cheddar & Ranch – 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. BBQ & Pizza – 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Smucker’s Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Raspberry Spread Sandwich

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Folks, it’s peanut butter jelly time.

If the reminder of that dancing banana pre-meme, or “preme,” made you yearn for simpler times, I’ve got something else to tickle your nostalgia bone – PB&Js with the crust cut off.

Ah yes, an absolute staple of every picky child’s diet, and with the advent of Smucker’s Uncrustables, still a staple of this lazy manchild’s lack of one. I buy them in bulk from Costco once a month. In fact, I eat so many Uncrustables, my niece calls me, “Unc Rustable.”

Ok, that’s not true. My niece doesn’t even call me, but if she did, she would probably tell me to stop talking with my mouth full of Uncrustables.

To bastardize the late great Mitch Hedberg’s potato joke, sometimes I’ll just throw a frozen Uncrustable on the counter even if I don’t want one, and by the time it’s done? Who knows?

If you can’t tell, I love Uncrustables, so when I saw a new flavor dropped – Raspberry, I snatched them up faster than you can say, “Get to the review already, dude.”

Do you like grape Uncrustables? Do you like the strawberry one? Guess what? The reign continues. You’re gonna like them in raspberry too.

What can I say? Raspberry is a welcome addition to the line.

They might actually be your new favorite. They aren’t quite my favorite, but that’s no knock. I’d still put them behind grape but ahead of strawberry.

They’re great, but the sweet raspberry jelly flavor pops here just a tad bit more than I’d like. It doesn’t overpower the peanut butter, but it tries. The jelly reminds me of the raspberry filling you would find in Italian bakery cookies, making these lean a little closer to a dessert than an on-the-go mid-day lunch alternative in my mind. That’s fine; I’ll just eat ’em later in the day.

That’s about as much as I can say “bad” about them. These bread pucks should become a regular part of my repertoire. If you’re like me, you prefer your Uncrustables “al dente.” If I’m not taking one with me, I usually eat them after about ten minutes of thawing. Raspberry met my standards here as well. The cold jelly with the half-frozen peanut butter definitely satisfies.

These are a successful expansion. I’d love to see Costco do a three-flavor variety box soon. Beyond that, I’d love Uncrustables to fast-track more new flavors. To take a cue from the dancing banana, how about an Elvis-inspired flavor? Kids love The King! I am not sure about the freezing properties of a banana spread, but they have scientists over at Smucker’s who can surely make it work.

Hey, another Paddington movie is coming down the pike, so hit us with an orange marmalade Uncrustable. Where’s the Fluffernutter one? You make ’em, I’ll buy ’em. I am “Unc Rustable” after all. I should call my niece and let her know Uncrustables now comes in Raspberry.

It’s ringing.

… Straight to voicemail. She’s probably busy.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: 8 oz package
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 210 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Cherry Pie Poppers

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Now would’ve been an optimal time to come out with Pumpkin Pie Poppers, but instead, KFC came out with these new Cherry Pie Poppers. But what do I know? I’m just some guy with a calendar.

Maybe pumpkin pie doesn’t pair well with the Colonel’s secret blend of 11 herbs and spices. Or perhaps these are Halloween-themed because the cherry represents blood, and these were supposed to be called Cherry Die Poppers. But the promotional materials for Cherry Pie Poppers were already made and shipped, so here we are.

These are a follow-up to KFC’s Apple Pie Poppers, which came out earlier this year, and just in time for the Fourth of July season, which apple pies are most known for here in the US. (Okay, they came out over two months before Independence Day, and I’m not 100 percent sure apple pies are a summer thing, but it seems correct.) This newest dessert is filled with warm cherry pie filling wrapped in a flaky crust, and it’s available in 4- or 10-piece orders.

The crust is wonderfully buttery and flaky, and I love the sound of the crispy layers crackling as I bite into them. There’s a tiny bit of sweetness, but I wish it was a bit more sugary or glazed like a pre-packaged convenience store fruit pie pastry. Within the flaky layers is a cherry filling that wasn’t overly sweet or tart. But it also wasn’t sweet or tart enough to really stand out. However, that might be due to the filling-to-crust ratio leaning too much on the crust side because it did seem like the cherry goo was a bit thin in my order’s four pieces.

Due to its lack of a robust fruity flavor, KFC’s Cherry Pie Poppers were a bit underwhelming, and I don’t see myself ordering it again any time in the future.

Purchased Price: $3.79*
Size: 4 pieces
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 piece) 70 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 7 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Burger King Wednesday’s Whopper

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There are two differences between Burger King’s new Wednesday’s Whopper and a standard Whopper with Cheese. First is the use of Swiss cheese instead of American. The second is a purple sesame seed bun colored with purple potato instead of the standard sesame seed bun. The 1/4 lb flame-grilled patty, tomato, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions are present with both.

If you’ve looked through the list of ingredients above and eaten various colored buns from the Whopper-Verse, you might have realized that Wednesday’s Whopper is similar to a particular web-slinger’s offering — the Spider Verse Whopper. Instead of a purple bun, it had a red one, but everything else was the same.

Let’s start with this hamburger’s headliner, the purple bun. Prince would so approve. The purple potato used to dye the buns makes it look spiffy, and the black sesame seeds dotted across the crust are the chef’s kiss. But the vibrant violet under the crust looks even better. However, the bun is more of a visual experience than one that tantalizes your taste buds because it pretty much tastes like a standard bun.

The Swiss cheese has a mellower flavor than the usual orange stuff, but its creaminess and saltiness come through, which slightly mellows the Whopper’s flame-grilled flavor. All the usual Whopper flavors are there, especially the ketchup, mayo, and pickles, which makes it taste too similar to a regular one. That’s not bad, though, since I enjoy regular Whoppers. However, I wish Burger King continued the purple theme by adding red/purple onions (or maybe even purple-dyed cheese). The purple onion’s sharper taste also would’ve given this burger a slightly different flavor than the Spider Verse Whopper.

Finally, some of you might be wondering if there’s a specific post-digestion problem that has happened with a previous Burger King colored bun. Well, whew, no number two issues.

If you’ve never experienced one of Burger King’s colored buns—red, orange, white, green, or black—here’s your opportunity to feast your eyes on one in real life.

Purchased Price: $9.19*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 820 calories, 52 grams of fat, 20 grams of sugar, 1 gram of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1480 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 40 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Nesquik DJ Khaled Another Bun Milk

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According to one of his more famous songs, all DJ Khaled does is win, win, win, no matter what. So, I was eager to discover whether his new collaboration with Nesquik, Another Bun ready-to-drink flavored milk, could be counted among those victories. If you’re not familiar, DJ Khaled is a musician whose catchphrase is “Another one!” (Interestingly enough, that’s my catchphrase too, but unlike the good DJ, who uses it whenever he releases a new hit song, I just use it when ordering more novelty junk food.) “Another Bun” is then, of course, a spin on that alludes to the drink’s cinnamon bun flavoring.

Said cinnamon flavor was on full olfactory display when I screwed off the top from my bottle and was met by a delicious churro-y smell. Aroma-wise, Another Bun was on point, though I was slightly caught off guard by its appearance. I expected a deeper, darker brown, but the color is more off-white. It looks more like frosting than a bun itself. But as they say, don’t judge a bun by its color. Or was that don’t judge a milk by its cover? In any case, I quickly dispensed with the judging and commenced with the tasting.

Remember those unrealistic expectations I had for what the drink would look like? Well, I’m sorry to say that maybe my judgmental attitude was warranted after all because I was similarly underwhelmed by the flavor. I was expecting a buttery, indulgent, almost overpowering sweetness like that of a Cinnabon. However, this reminded me more of the dry, nearly tasteless cinnamon bun that I was recently served at a fancy but stuffy café. Listen, subtle flavors have their time and place, but I just don’t think they’re a fit for any product whose mascot is a totally rad life-size rabbit!

What I’m saying is I wanted more from Another Bun. It gets points for its smooth, creamy texture and fundamental decentness, but it just didn’t taste very different to me than Nesquik’s existing vanilla variety. Yes, there was a hint of nice cinnamon-y warmth and spice, but it wasn’t strong enough to override the primary flavor: milk. Specifically, weirdly artificial-tasting milk. I wish I could compare this to the Cinnamilk left at the bottom of a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but it reminded me more of that hard-to-put-a-finger-on-but-impossible-to-ignore synthetic tang of a bottled protein shake. After searching through what felt like an endless amount of beverage coolers to find this flavor (was DJ Khaled’s persistent shouting of “Another one!” actually just foreshadowing how many stores I’d have to go to to buy the dang thing?), I was disappointed by how mild and unmemorable it was, especially in comparison to DJ Khaled’s ostentatious personality. I do have to admit that the art on the bottle is absolutely awesome, but it’s probably not a great thing for a consumable product when the best part about it is its disposable packaging!

Needless to say, even if I could track this thing down again, I would not purchase “Another one!”

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 14 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per bottle) 260 calories,4.5 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 39 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

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