REVIEW: Trader Joe’s It’s Sedimentary, My Dear Cookie

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Trader Joe's It's Sedimentary My Dear Cookie

On picking up Trader Joe’s It’s Sedimentary, My Dear Cookie mix, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little. The precious Mason jar, the muted tones of the “candy coated chocolate drops,” the cutesy crowd-sourced name. I wanted to trust the company that’s kept me in Speculoos Cookie Butter all this time, however. I read the instructions – mix butter and egg, dump entire jar in.

Wait. What?

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First rule of Cookie Baking Club is: cream the butter and sugar first. Most cookie recipes (and all mothers) will tell you that whipping the sugar and butter together until pale and fluffy before everything else is cookie gospel. It’s what makes them light and airy. Now Trader Joe was telling me not to. I feared ending up with hockey pucks – something your childhood friends’ hippie parents would give you, saying “These are better than Chips Ahoy, trust me!”

Initial impression opening the jar was the smell of OATS! The oat force was strong with this one. Peanut Butter chips and graham cracker crumbs were present, although aromatically invisible. The dough came together quickly in my mixer – less than 30 seconds. Second rule of Cookie Baking Club: Don’t overmix!

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Using a loosely-packed 2-Tbsp scoop, I was able to form 30 cookies, despite the label stating it would make 18. That’s a pretty good yield. Next – refrigerate the dough for two hours.

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TWO HOURS? What kind of patience and willpower does Trader Joe’s think I have? With a tiny fridge, I had to cram every other cold item I own into the crisper bin so these free-range oat balls could chillax.

Eventually, it was time to bake. Since they were cold, the dough didn’t spread or flatten much – more like puffed out into domes.

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I must admit, these cookies surprised me.

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They’re dense, but not potential deadly weapons in a food fight. More than 4 might leave you feeling like there’s rocks in your belly, though. They were crumbly on the outside and soft on the inside.

After baking, the oats piped down and let the peanut butter chips and graham cracker crumbs dominate the flavor, which I appreciated.

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I would have liked more “candy coated chocolate drops” for color, but overall, this was a pretty decent cookie mix. Could be a nice gift for busy parents, kids, or anyone who wants to upgrade from the “cut and bake” pre-made cookie dough.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/8 cup (as prepared per directions) – 200 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 23 oz. jar
Purchased at: Trader Joe’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Easy to make. Nice earthy peanut butter and graham cracker flavor. Presentation is gift-appropriate.
Cons: Could use more “candy coated chocolate drops.” Cynics might contract charming-itis from the whole thing.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Caramel Cookie Layer Crunch Bar

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Hershey's Caramel Cookie Layer Crunch Bar

It’s no controversial hot take to say that Hershey’s doesn’t make the highest quality chocolate around, not even the greatest chocolate at 7-Eleven or Walgreens; but they definitely know how to put together a good candy bar.

Among my favorite of their bars is the white chocolate Cookies ‘n’ Creme Bar, and with a twist of marketing genius Hershey’s have unleashed three new spins on that success with Cookie Layer Crunch Bars. The caramel flavor combines milk chocolate with shortbread cookie bits and a velvety caramel, packaged in mini bars of three breakable pieces.

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The chocolate has a deeper fuller taste than what I’m used to with Hershey’s milk chocolate, lacking that undesirable slight graininess from their classic bar. It has an almost dark chocolate quality to it, a sensation that is created by the contrast of the sweeter caramel and salty cookie pieces.

The saltiness of the shortbread comes through beautifully, but the “bits” aren’t big enough to really get any of that lush buttery flavor usually associated with this type of cookie. I can’t knock Hershey’s here since they do use the small-implying word “bits” but the texture-fiend in me wants more crunch, especially with the word being in the name. 

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The chocolate to caramel to cookie ratio is well balanced and doesn’t come across as overwhelmingly sweet, which can oftentimes happen in candy bars that feature caramel without any nuts.

I can’t say I’ve ever had a readily available candy quite like this and that’s a good thing because it’s fresh and it works. It teeters on the line of your typical grocery chocolate bar and something more gourmet you might find at a chocolatier like See’s or Godiva. Each piece is layered with that sweet salty crunch that shines in one of my other favorite Hershey’s products, the oftentimes overlooked and pretzel-prominent Take 5.

This might be the most repeat-noshable candy bar Hershey’s has released without peanut butter in it, and a great launch for a company that hasn’t done much to innovate the junk aisle game outside of weird seasonal flavors of Kisses. From the snack-style packaging to the different flavors to the multiple textures, Hershey’s has unleashed something simple but effective that should prove to be very popular and leaves itself open to new and limited/seasonal variations down the line.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package (2 bars) – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 2 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $1.29
Size: 1.4 oz. bar
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Smooth rich chocolate. Sweet salty fix. Great packaging. Most repeat-noshable Hershey’s without peanut butter.
Cons: Could use more crunch. Could use more shortbread butteriness. Could use peanut butter.

REVIEW: Ghirardelli Limited Edition Milk Chocolate Peppermint Brownie Squares

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With some chocolate and mint candies it feels as if your mouth was assaulted by multiple candy canes or 9 out of the 10 dentists who recommend a particular toothpaste armed with the toothpaste they recommend. But that’s not the case with these Ghirardelli Limited Edition Milk Chocolate Peppermint Brownie Squares.

They have a mild peppermint flavor that doesn’t overpower the milk chocolate exterior or “brownie” filling. What’s with the quotation marks? I’ll get to that in a moment.

The filling has tiny crunchy bits and you might think it’s peppermint candy because everything about the packaging SCREAMS peppermint candy, but it’s not. Digging one out of my mouth reveals they’re mint chocolate cookie crumbs that look like part of a cavity all 10 of those dentists would remove from a mouth.

The milk chocolate is creamy and the filling is smooth, but with every square I’ve eaten I keep wondering when the ”brownie” flavor will show up. I’ve had enough brownies in my lifetime to know what they taste like and I don’t get an inkling of the baked good in these.

The squares have the right balance of milk chocolate and mint, the filling is smooth, and I love the crunchy cookie bits. But what excited me about these was the word “brownie” and I didn’t get any of it with flavor or texture.

For a minty chocolate candy, they’re really pleasing. And if the squares were used as tile in the bathroom of the witch in Hansel and Gretel, she would have to redo it after every time I came over because I would eat most of it.

But as I lay on her bathroom floor made from Ghirardelli Limited Edition Milk Chocolate Peppermint Brownie Squares, stuffing my face with the surface I’m lying on, I’ll be extremely disappointed they didn’t have brownie flavor or peppermint candy bits in them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 square – 80 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 8 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 5.1 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful mint and chocolate squares. Crunchy bits add a pleasant texture. Creamy milk chocolate. Brushing your teeth. Being able to leave the witch’s house in Hansel and Gretel without being eaten.
Cons: No brownie flavor. No peppermint candy bits. The witch in Hansel and Gretel sending me the bill for her bathroom repairs. Cavities.

REVIEW: Andes Mint Cookie Crunch Thins

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Andes Mint Cookie Crunch Thins

December 25, 1995.

I thought I hit the jackpot. Not only did my stocking contain a Gumby keychain, but it contained an entire package of Andes mints, to keep all for myself! That was way better than the blueberry and butterscotch candy canes I got. (Those are two different flavors, BTW.) Andes were a super fancy candy I only ever got when we snuck them from our wealthy, mint-loving grandmother.

I started to realize they weren’t all that fancy when we would get them as Christmas gifts from those neighbors we barely knew. But even though my estimation of them has gone down, I still find myself decimating a package in a relatively short amount of time, with the wrappers accumulating in my pants pockets and dryer lint screen. Therefore, I was intrigued to try these new Andes Mint Cookie Crunch Thins.

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The paper wrappers for these are a shiny silver, rather than the familiar green. The packaging makes it look like the wrappers will be green or bronze, but nope, it’s silver. When you strip the candies, they look just like a typical cookies ’n’ creme bar. There’s no green stripe indicating that it will be a mint flavor.

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However, once you pop them in your mouth, they taste just like regular Andes mints. (At least they taste exactly as I remember them; I didn’t taste the two kinds side by side.) There is no flavor of cookies ’n’ creme. The uniqueness of these is purely textural; there is a definite crunch. It’s not overwhelming, but it’s there. This means that there is no false advertising when the package says, “The Mint Taste You Love, With a CRUNCH!” That’s 100 percent accurate. Nothing more, nothing less.

This crunch will mean different things to different people. Some people will find the crunchy bits a welcome addition to the otherwise uninteresting Andes. Others will find the crunchy bits an unnerving distraction to the mints’ smoothness. It probably depends on whether you prefer creamy or crunchy peanut butter. And me, I usually prefer crunchy, so I like these new Andes.

I would gladly welcome a package of these in my stocking this year. But I don’t need another Gumby keychain. I still have the first one I got.

Andes Mint Cookie Crunch Thins 4

(Nutrition Facts – 8 pieces – 210 calories, 110 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 4.67 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy bits provide new texture. Tastes exactly like standard Andes mints, as promised by the package. Keeping Christmas toys for 21 years.
Cons: Change is purely textural. Wrappers accumulating in pockets and lint screens.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Pepper Jack Ranch Spicy Chicken Sandwich

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Jack in the Box Pepper Jack Ranch Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Jack in the Box’s Pepper Jack Ranch Spicy Chicken…

No, wait. That’s not accurate to me.

Jack in the Box’s Pepper Jack Ranch Spicy Chicken Sandwich doesn’t deserve to have “Ranch” in its name, because, as I ate through all 672 calories, I tasted very little of it.

The limited time only menu item comes with a spicy “ranch” sauce, a spicy pepper jack cheese, and a spicy, crispy chicken fillet. It’s also topped with lettuce, tomato, and bacon on a buttery bakery bun. It’s surprising I didn’t taste much of the ranch sauce because a layer was spread on the top AND bottom buns. And to make sure it was the right sauce, I licked both buns.

But the spicy ranch sauce, along with the pepper jack, did help give the sandwich a mild heat that built up the more I ate. After trying the ingredients individually, it turns out the sauce and cheese are spicier than the chicken fillet.

But without the ranch flavor, the sandwich is a glorified Jack’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Actually, I take that back. Even without the tangy ranch, it’s still a good sandwich and slightly better than the Spicy Chicken Sandwich because of the bacon and it’s spicier.

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The chewy, but not crispy bacon added a nice smoky element and, apparently, I’ve pleased the Bacon Gods because every bite had a little bit of pork. While the bacon wasn’t crispy (but is it ever at fast food places?) the chicken’s breading along the edges had a satisfying crunch. The chicken fillet itself was easy to bite through despite being a little dry and I got three tomato slices (BONUS!!!).

But an extra tomato slice doesn’t make up for the lack of ranch flavor. But it has pepper jack, it is spicy, has chicken, and is a sandwich, so I guess it fulfills the rest of its name.

(Nutrition Facts – 672 calories, 349 calories from fat, 39 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1392 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price:
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Spicier than a Jack’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Bacon adds a nice smoky element. Chicken fillet has crispy edges. Bonus tomato!
Cons: Ranch flavor is lacking. Lettuce never looks like what’s in the promo photos. Doesn’t deserve the “ranch” in its name. Might not have enough spiciness for head heads.

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