REVIEW: Lay’s Poppables (White Cheddar and Sea Salt)

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In between its flavor experiments (long live the cappuccino chip!), Lay’s has decided to try switching up the form factor on the beloved potato chip for its next innovation. The results are named Poppables for their popped up 3D shape that can easily be popped into your mouth.

Before you read any further please take note, though, that these are high class potato snacks.

Exhibit A – the eye catching design on the top of the bags as Harper’s Bazaar tells me that polka dots are recently back on trend.

Exhibit B – the o in Poppables needs a dot below it, which the internet tells me is a diacritic mark, whatever that is. Do you pronounce it differently? No clue.

Exhibit C (and if you weren’t already convinced this is the dead giveaway) – notice that the two featured flavors are not just cheddar but white cheddar and not just original but sea salt.

I’m surprised they didn’t go further with possibly aged white cheddar or pink Himalayan salt or something. I, myself, alternate between drip coffee and espresso, so I do like to think of myself as highbrow every now and then meaning I was very, very excited to try out these bite-sized snacks.

Their shape looks like a lattice cut potato chip and an M&M had a beautiful snack baby. A very hollow but starchy one. Each is about the size of a quarter and significantly puffed out towards the center. The crunchiness is definitely a highlight as there are so many layers to bite through from the unique shape.

After the crunching gives way, the flavors definitely make their arrival. The sea salt ones have a tiny bit too much saltiness to them as it increases the more you chew. The white cheddar, though, have a nice crunch followed by intense cheesy flavor that then transforms into your classic potato chip profile. I found myself continually popping these into my mouth as they are a lot lighter than expected and not heavy at all (until you have eaten half the bag, though).

To wrap up on these Poppables, out of the two eatable flavors available, and while this could be debatable, I did think that the white cheddar was more desirable and capable of tingling my excitable taste buds even though both, while perishable and potentially breakable, were portable, delectable, and very satiable potato snacks.

(Nutrition Facts – White Cheddar – about 28 pieces – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Sea Salt – about 30 pieces – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49 each
Size: 5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10 (White Cheddar)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Sea Salt)
Pros: On trend packaging design. Potato chips and M&M’s falling in love and procreating. Crunchiness and lightness all in one.
Cons: Overuse of the suffix -able. Aged White Cheddar and Pink Himalayan Salt getting the shaft.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream

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Just in time for me dusting off the last of my White Peppermint Twinkies, Hostess is breaking down the freezer aisle doors with Limited Edition Twinkies Ice Cream. Combining a sweet butter cream ice cream with sponge cake pieces and a frosting swirl, the chubby 12-year-old in me can hardly contain his excitement.

It should go without saying that this isn’t a super premium ice cream, but it isn’t a “diet” ice cream either, and the lower fat, higher air ratio here actually works to convey the desired flavors well. It scoops effortlessly, folding over on itself and exposing wonderful ripples of aggressively churned dairy. The base flavor is rich and buttery with caramel notes that hint towards the golden outside of Hostess’ sponge cake.

Texturally what it lacks in decadent density it makes up for with a light and fluffy whipped presence that melts with ease and reminds me of Twinkie creme. The frosting swirl is more predominantly mixed in with the base than standing out on its own, but when eating you can taste two distinct flavors. Some bites are pure sweet butter cream ice cream and others pop with a creme filling frosting surprise that is a touch greasy and extra sweet.

The sponge pieces are perfect. Although not huge, they are pretty evenly sprinkled throughout and make their way pleasantly into every couple of bites. They’ve held their shape well and are chewy like cake that has been served on a plate with ice cream that has melted its way onto the slice. The texture is spot on Twinkie, with the exception that there’s no risk of them being dry because they’re drowning in deliciously sweet ice cream instead of sitting for an unknown amount of time in a cellophane wrapper.

Overall this is an extremely well-executed ice cream version of eating a Twinkie. The buttery, slightly greasy mouthfeel and melty creamy textures all harken back to the experience of eating the classic Hostess cake – but perhaps even better.

It’s no secret that eating Twinkies can be extremely hit or miss, and this ice cream takes care of the quality issues that can happen when you buy cake at a gas station. It’s not going to flip the gourmet ice cream universe on its head, but it’s fun and tasty, and for what it is, it’s pretty damn good.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup (65g) – 160 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams sat fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 1.5 qts
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice buttery sweet base with caramel notes. Tastes just like a Twinkie put into a blender. Tasty sponge cake, no risk of dryness.
Cons: A Twinkie ice cream that tastes better than an actual Twinkie = high risk of overdose.

REVIEW: Doritos Loaded Cool Ranch

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My seven year old son is clearly a college “dudebro” in training. His perfect day involves lying on the couch in his underwear watching cartoons and playing video games. His favorite bands are Fall Out Boy and Green Day. He’s earned the nickname “Dude Imperfect” for his desire to watch, recreate, and innovate sportz trickshot videos.

His eating habits are the most reflective of his inner fratboy. However, as he’s a decade away from the Freshman Fifteen, no junk food seem to put a pound on his lanky frame. This is most evident in his Doritos Locos Tacos appetite, and he was rush-week excited to try the new Doritos Loaded Cool Ranch.

I prepared four pieces in the toaster oven and eight pieces in the conventional oven.

Slightly smaller in diameter but four times as thick as traditional Doritos, these snacks are sprinkled with something breadcrumb-ish, as well as a muted version of the expected red and green Cool Ranch seasoning.

The pieces looked practically the same fully cooked, except that some interior cheese spurted out of every piece onto to the pan via both cooking methods. The cheese did remove easily and remain on each piece, resembling a cross between a mohawk and a pizzelle.

The whole family weighed in positively. Comparisons to pizza rolls and mac ’n’ cheese bites were both apt. The consensus views:

  • Same from the toaster and conventional oven
  • Not crisp like a chip
  • Tasted like Cool Ranch, but should have been seasoned more liberally
  • The interior cheese has nice salty flavor and softer textural elements, but the product failed entirely to deliver on the graphic shown on the box of stretchy pull-apart cheese. In fact, the autopsy photo below indicates a nearly hollow product with slight remnants of cheese clinging to the outer walls.

Despite the noted shortcomings, we all enjoyed these. As predicted, the future Epsilon Kappa Gamma founder was the most effusive, instantly rating them a 10/10 and subsequently remarking they would have earned an 11/11 had the center cheese been as displayed.

He clearly hasn’t developed certain college attributes yet, including a sense of cynicism that regresses most every experience toward the mean. After all, he’s 7 — and so is the rating for this product.

(Nutrition Facts – about 3 pieces – 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.98
Size: 15 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Compares favorably with other breaded appetizers. Cool Ranch taste. Tasty interior cheese. Potential scholarships in dizzy golf and slip ’n’ slide football.
Cons: Too little interior cheese. Not enough Cool Ranch seasoning.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Grand Mac

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Do you see that party over there? It’s an LTO (limited time offer) party and I see the King from Burger King and the chihuahua from Taco Bell absolutely going crazy and for what seems like forever. Oh, and who’s that I see over there making a fashionably late entrance? WHY IT’S RONALD MCDONALD WITH TWO NEW BURGERS!

Welcome to the party, McDonald’s! Glad to see you here even if it is for just two size variations of your top performer.

The burgers are siblings to McDonald’s signature item the Big Mac, one of which is called the Grand Mac. Thinking about the name, though, a Grande at Starbucks is a medium and if you translate grand from French it means “big,” so jeez McDonald’s this is confusing.

I got a regular Big Mac too just so I could see the difference. And if the package wasn’t warning enough (you’re gonna need two hands), you truly see the magnitude when you open the box. This thing is big! Actually, scratch that since it’s confusing. It’s huge!

It’s definitely larger than its star sibling but not so much in height. However, getting a bird’s eye view is simply breathtaking as you compare the diameters of the two sesame seed buns.

The taste is right on point with the Big Mac as the usual components are there in all their glory. The lettuce, onions, and pickles add some really nice crunch while the cheese is a sort of middle ground in texture to marry up all the different components, which it does so beautifully. However, the star here is the Big Mac sauce, which is as it should be. It’s the flavor you know and love, both creamy and delicious in full force. If you absolutely love the Big Mac but usually finish it without feeling as full as you’d like then the Grand Mac is for you.

The one disappointment I had were with the meat patties. The taste was fine but they were a bit too thin for me considering everything else that was going on. So, here’s to hoping McDonald’s has another option in the works. I even mocked one up using the gloriously sized patties from a Double Quarter Pounder. Drive-thru patrons of America? The Hamburglar? The enormous gigantic Jumbo Mac has arrived…

(Nutrition Facts – 860 calories, 470 calories from fat, 52 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 140 milligrams of cholesterol, 1470 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: A truly super-sized Big Mac experience. Ronald McDonald partying with the King and a chihuahua. Packaging warnings that actually hold true.
Cons: Meat patties that are underwhelming. The French translation of Grand Mac is Big Mac.

REVIEW: Milka Oreo Choco-Mix

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Milka Oreo Choco-Mix Snack Mix

For my entire adult life, I have maintained that the Spice Girls will forever be Europe’s greatest contribution to the United States. Let’s face it, “Wannabe” was the biggest radio hit in 1997. These days, I only hear it while sitting in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. And every time, I have to endure the subsequent joke from my dentist to open my mouth and say “zig-a-zig ahh.” Every. Single. Time.

While the only notable thing I’ve done lately is spend an entire day watching “Spice World,” the folks at Mondelez are making a splash by bringing another group of marquee stars from overseas. Milka Oreo Choco-Mix is the third part of the treat trifecta — treat-fecta? -— from the Milka and Oreo brands, the others being the Big Crunch Bar and Chocolate Candy Bar. It’s got mini Oreo and Golden Oreo cookies, Milka chocolate buttons, and candy coated chocolate pieces. Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and schedule my next dentist appointment now.

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix Snack Mix 2
?Opening the bag of Milka Oreo Choco-Mix to a visage of only Oreos brought a wave of conflicting feelings. On one hand, I’ll never complain about a surplus of Oreos. But on the other hand, what happened to the other stuff? I soon discovered that the lighter ingredients had settled to the bottom, and all I had to do was jostle the bag. The Spice Girls once exclaimed, “slam it to the left…shake it to the right!” Fun fact: they were actually singing about Choco-Mix.

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix Snack Mix 3

Let’s deconstruct Milka Oreo Choco-Mix for a minute. The mini Oreo sandwich cookies are the familiar Oreo flavors you know and love. The mini classic Oreos have a slightly bitter chocolate cookie, while the mini Golden Oreos use a sweeter, vanilla-flavored cookie. Both contain the same sweet, sugary creme. The candy coated chocolate pieces are identical to M&M’s: creamy milk chocolate, with a crunchy candy shell. If those pieces use higher quality Milka chocolate instead of Mars chocolate, I didn’t taste a significant difference.

Speaking of that higher quality Milka chocolate, it’s scattered throughout this Choco-Mix in the form of round, thin discs. The chocolate is rich and creamy, and hands down better than anything we have here in the United States. The discs are light and firm, providing a crisp bite that melts instantly in your mouth.

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix Snack Mix 4

To my surprise, the separate ingredients actually come together quite well. I was half-expecting a handful of Milka Oreo Choco-Mix to simply devolve into a mouthful of sugar, but the components manage to play off of each other without getting lost. The bitter classic Oreo cookie is a good counterpart to the sweeter chocolate candies and sugary Oreo creme. The golden Oreo cookie introduces a vanilla flavor to avoid going too heavy on the chocolate. The crunchy cookies, hard candy shells, and creamy chocolate create a nice variety in texture.

But even though Milka Oreo Choco-Mix works well, it seems one-dimensional after a handful or two. I found myself yearning for more variety—for example, through the addition of nuts (candy coated chocolate pieces with peanuts, perhaps) or different flavors of Oreos (cough mini Reese’s Oreos cough). And the proportion of the ingredients leans heavily toward the Milka discs, which can be a bit overwhelming if you don’t get an even handful.

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix Snack Mix 5

Milka Oreo Choco-Mix is a solid snack mix and a welcome addition to the candy aisle. I’m hoping that in the future, we’ll see new versions with even more ingredients and Oreo flavors. For now though, it’s worth the extra dentist appointment.

I can’t wait to hear “Wannabe” again.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/4 cup – 200 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.).)

Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 6.17 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Good combination of flavors and fun textural variety. Excellent, high-quality chocolate. The Spice Girls are first-ballot Rock and Roll Hall of Fame candidates.
Cons: Taste becomes slightly redundant after a couple of handfuls. Might contain too many Milka discs. Could benefit from addition of new ingredients or Oreo flavors. Corny dentist jokes.

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