REVIEW: McDonald’s Signature Sriracha Burger and Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich

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McDonald s Signature Sriracha Burger

Welcome to 2014, McDonald’s!

Okay, I kid.

But McDonald’s Sriracha Signature Crafted Recipe would’ve been way more exciting back in 2014 when sriracha was still making its way onto almost every product imaginable.

But now that it has ended up onto almost every product imaginable, I look at this new Signature Crafted Recipe and go, “Hey! Glad you finally made it to the party. Um, almost everyone went home and we’re cleaning up. But you’re welcomed to stay. There’s not much food or drinks left. I think there’s some warm salad and maybe a slice of pizza somewhere and, um, some bottled water sitting in melted ice.”

But after tasting the sauce, I got excited. Because McDonald’s didn’t use some ordinary sriracha, it created a sriracha-Big Mac Special Sauce hybrid, and it tastes wonderful. It’s creamy, spicy, sweet, and tangy. I want to dip McNuggets in it (sorry, my beloved Hot Mustard). Heck, I want to dip everything in it. And I can because it’s also available in a dipping container.

The Sriracha Mac Sauce is not, using a McDonald’s reference, Hot Habanero-spicy, but it might be the second or third spiciest sauce to ever be available on the McDonald’s menu in the U.S. It’s also not Huy Fong Foods Sriracha-spicy, if you want another heat reference.

McDonald s Signature Sriracha Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich

I experienced this new sauce with the Signature Sriracha Burger and Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Both also feature baby spinach and kale, tomato, crispy onions, white cheddar, and your choice of an artisan roll or sesame seed bun. I went with the artisan roll for both.

McDonald s Signature Sriracha Burger 2 1

McDonald s Signature Sriracha Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich 2

There was a decent amount of the bright orange goop in both sandwiches. Smeared inside the top bun, it’s used as glue to help prevent the crispy onions and greens from falling out (some still did).

The crispy onions remained crunchy even though they sat on the sandwich for several minutes while I took photos, but had no meaningful flavor. White cheddar has been McDonald’s go-to cheese for these premium sandwiches, and while it provides a creaminess, it doesn’t do anything for the overall taste since the sauce overpowers it. As for the baby spinach and kale, it was nice having a different set of greens than the usual green leaf lettuce or shredded iceberg lettuce.

McDonald s Signature Sriracha Burger 2

McDonald s Signature Sriracha Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich 3

But as I ate the burger and chicken sandwich, both of which I enjoyed, I couldn’t help but think the three toppings are there more for aesthetics than anything else. They don’t enhance the flavor of the sandwiches. They’re just there to justify the “premium” price.

It’s not like the Big Mac where the pickles and onions add to the flavor of the Special Sauce. But then again, their blandness allows the Sriracha Mac Sauce to shine. Ugh, maybe I’m analyzing this deeper than any normal human should, after all, it’s just fricken’ fast food. Who cares? As long as it’s tasty.

With that said, I do think the Sriracha Signature Crafted Recipe is tasty. As a matter of fact, it’s the best tasting one so far. I thought the original varieties — Pico Guacamole, Maple Bacon Dijon, and Sweet BBQ Bacon — lacked strong flavors (Pico Guacamole and Maple Bacon Dijon) or were boring (ANOTHER BBQ bacon cheeseburger).

This latest recipe has none of those issues.

Welcome to McDonald’s, sriracha!

(Nutrition Facts – Burger with artisan roll – 670 calories, 320 calories from fat, 35 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1010 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 13 g 4 grams of fiber, 32 grams of protein. Buttermilk Crispy Chicken with artisan roll – 730 calories, 300 calories from fat, 33 grams of fat, 7 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1430 milligrams of sodium, 75 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, 5 grams of fiber, and 32 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price:
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Sriracha Mac Sauce tastes wonderful and is available as a dipping sauce (HELLO, McNuggets and Fries!) Toppings give it the appearance of premium. The best tasting of the Signature Crafted Recipes.
Cons: Other toppings don’t enhance the flavor of the sandwiches. McDonald’s coming late to the sriracha party.

QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

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Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

These Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers aren’t shaped like Minions. That’s sad because, like Tic Tacs, their pill-like shape SCREAMS Minions.

So no Wafflers shaped like Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, or Tony.

But I’m forgiving the brand a little because these Wafflers are not bad, with or without syrup. Now, if you’re familiar with Eggo Wafflers, you know they’re packed with flavor. In this case, it’s chocolatey chips and banana purée, so syrup isn’t necessary. Sure, you could add some, after all, they’re waffles with pockets to hold syrup, but they’re fine without.

Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers 2

Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers 3

They don’t make your toaster’s immediate vicinity smell like the yellow-skinned fruit while between the heating elements. But if you bring it up to your nose like you’re a monkey determining whether or not you have a banana in your hand, it’ll have a natural overripe banana aroma. The fruit puree baked into the waffle gives the breakfast item a pleasing natural flavor. So you fist-shaking Banana Runts haters, might not hate this.

The chips are exactly like what you’d taste with Chocolatey Chip Eggo Waffles — a slightly unnatural chocolate flavor. They’re not evenly spread across each waffle bar (yes, that’s what Kellogg’s called them), so some bites will be all banana.

I like these Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers, and I’m sure Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, and Tony would also like them.

Purchased Price: $4.49*
Size: 16 waffle bars/10.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles/4 waffle bars) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Pringles

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Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Pringles

If you want an inexpensive, crunchy snack that tastes like Chicken Top Ramen, you could take the dried block of instant noodles and sprinkle the broth seasoning onto it and enjoy. Or you could buy a can of these Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Pringles.

Nissin Top Ramen and I go way back.

It was the first food I prepared on a stove when I was ten years old, and it was also the first food I ruined on a stove when I was ten years old. It got me through lean times during college. It got me through lean times after college. It got me through lean times last week.

And through all those times it’s been the chicken flavor, because, let’s face it, the traditional beef and shrimp flavors are THE WORST. Okay, they’re not horrible, but I’ve always considered the chicken one to be far superior to the other two.

Even though I’ve eaten over 1,000,000 milligrams of sodium-worth of Chicken Top Ramen, I’ve never gotten sick of it. It’s a cheap comfort food and a decent soup replacement when you’re too sick to go out and get a can of chicken noodle soup. I love it and will never forget its flavor.

So it’s awesome that these Pringles smell and taste EXACTLY like the sodium saturated broth made from a flavor packet and boiling water. For those sophisticated palates who have never crossed paths with chicken flavored instant ramen, it’s like a cheap, herbaceous chicken broth. And I get to experience that flavor without burning my mouth, overcooked noodles, undercooked noodles, or wondering what’s wrong with my life.

Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Pringles 2

As enjoyable as these crisps are, after eating several of them, I felt they were beginning to be a bit too salty. But then I thought, “THAT’S JUST LIKE CHICKEN INSTANT RAMEN!” And that brought smile to my face.

Now if you think about it, we could make these seasoned potato crisps at home. We just need to dump the seasoning powder into a can of Pringles and gently combine the two. And I might just do that because these Pringles are awesome and they’re available for only a limited time.

Sure, there’s a much cheaper way to enjoy Chicken Top Ramen, which is to buy an actual package of the instant ramen that costs a fraction of these Pringles. But if you don’t want to deal with flavor packets, boiling water, bowls, or lots of sodium, these Pringles are the next best thing.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce (about 15 crisps) – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: A lot since I had to buy it on eBay
Size: 5.5 oz. can
Purchased at: Dollar General (by eBay seller)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Tastes and smells just like Chicken Top Ramen.
Cons: Currently a Dollar General exclusive flavor. Cheaper to buy actual Chicken Top Ramen. Limited time only.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Bacon Queso Burger

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Wendy s Spicy Queso Burger

Historically, fast food “spicy burgers” have been pretty underwhelming.

Try as they may, neither Burger King’s Angry Whopper nor Carl’s Jr.’s El Diablo Thickburger lived up to the hype, and let’s not even get into the deluge of disappointing spicy-in-name-only chicken sandwiches that we’ve seen over the last couple of years.

Wendy’s themselves are no stranger to so-so spicy sammiches, such as the okay-but-that’s-about-it Jalapeno Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich from 2015. And while their latest and greatest tongue-torching burger makes a few noticeable improvements over their last foray into hot-ass hamburgers, the Bacon Queso Burger still feels more than a few degrees shy of being a truly top-notch, perspiration-inspiring product.

Wendy s Spicy Queso Burger 2

The quarter-pounder burger comes topped with a creamy poblano queso sauce, a heaping helping of fire-roasted salsa, three strips of Applewood smoked bacon, some chopped up red onions (an aside, but is it just me or do those things look more purple than red?), and a smattering of shredded cheddar cheese. And all of it is wedged between two roasted red jalapeno buns, which I didn’t even notice until I Googled the product after I already ate it, which, yeah, should tell you just how potent the jalapeno taste is here.

Wendy s Spicy Queso Burger 3

First, the good. Wendy’s has long had some of the best bacon in fast food, and this limited-time-only offering is no exception. Secondly, the beef is flavorful and doesn’t get lost amid the goulash of other ingredients. And thirdly, the poblano queso sauce has a unique taste and texture (thicker than aioli sauce but still not thick enough to be a traditional fondue) that doesn’t have an analogue at any other mainstream burger chain.

Unfortunately, there are more negatives than positives here. The salsa is way too pulpy and has virtually no spiciness, and it doesn’t blend that well with the queso at all (at first, I thought they just dumped a bunch of chili on the burger and called it good.)

Additionally, the onions feel (and taste) way out of place – that is, if you can even taste them at all after rubbing up against so many different sauces. And I was not a fan of the shredded cheese adornments – the icy cold taste and texture clashes with the rest of the burger AND every time you go for another bite it seems like half of the cheddar falls out.

Speaking of which, this might be the messiest non-Sloppy Joe sandwich I’ve ever eaten – forget tying on a bib; you’ll probably have to eat this one with a beach towel wrapped around your shoulders.

But the ultimate transgression of Wendy’s new burger, of course, is that it isn’t spicy enough. It’s unique and fairly flavorful and pretty filling, but it doesn’t come anywhere close to making good on that particular advertising point. And when you can’t deliver the primary thing your L-T-O marketing promises, can we really consider the offering as a whole anything less than a substantial disappointment?

(Nutrition Facts – 550 calories, 290 calories from fat, 29 grams of total fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,140 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 33 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Single patty (also available in double and triple versions)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: The bacon is juicy, plump, and delicious. The hamburger patty is flavorful and filling. The queso tastes unlike anything else you’ve probably had at a big name burger joint.
Cons: The product isn’t spicy – at all. The salsa is too clumpy. The shredded cheese adds nothing to the experience (and in fact, detracts from it). Realizing beard + queso burger = shame the hard way.

REVIEW: Burger King Chicken Parmesan Sandwich (2017)

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Burger King Chicken Parmesan Sandwich 2017

Sometime during our rich cultural history, America forgot what “Parmesan Cheese” is.

Once a noble hard cheese, the name now conjures images of tall green plastic cans. Industrial cylinders full of white dust, kept in the fridge long past all flavor has faded away. It’s now closer to a condiment than a proper dairy product.

It’s a hit job on a fine piece of Italian cuisine, executed by decades of corporate cheese ownership. So imagine my surprise when Burger King gave this proud cheese a primary placement on its Chicken Parmesan Sandwich, which is an updated version of the one that came out in 2012.

It starts with a crispy chicken patty, topped shavings of real Parmesan cheese, a slice of gooey mozzarella, and enveloped by two layers of marinara sauce. It’s all put between a toasted potato roll, for a thick and decadent sandwich. The chicken is the same as BK’s recently revamped Crispy Chicken Sandwich – a juicy whole breast fillet that tastes fresher than one would expect. It isn’t quite Chick-fil-A quality, but it’s impressive for the price point.

The first bite was concerning, as the side of the sandwich was coated in marinara sauce. A heavily acidic taste overtook my mouth, reeking of undercooked tomato. Fortunately, the sauce was more evenly distributed in the remaining bites – having soaked into the bun. Each bite delivered a satisfying blend of the soft potato roll, salty cheeses, and hearty white meat chicken. It’s a very rich sandwich, with the two kinds of cheeses and sweet roll creating a buttery mouthfeel.

Burger King Chicken Parmesan Sandwich 2017 3

Since the chicken patty is the same as Burger King’s other premium chicken sandwich, it lacks the heavy Italian seasoning you’d expect from a more authentic chicken parm. But the King has crafted a workable version, largely thanks to a generous helping of Parmesan cheese. Forget the weak powder that stuffs the paper packets in pizza boxes; this is the real deal. The shavings are piled on thick, ensuring no bite goes without.

Burger King Chicken Parmesan Sandwich 2017 2

The Parmesan is under a layer of mozzarella, which is notably more processed. Resembling a white Kraft single, it doesn’t get a satisfying melt. As a result, it serves only a structural purpose – gluing down the pile of Parmesan. It’s a necessary element, and nothing more.

Overall, Burger King’s “new and improved” Chicken Parmesan Sandwich is a success. Building on their strong Crispy Chicken base, this is a delicious offering that stands above most fast food chicken.

(Nutrition Facts – 570 calories, 25 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1340 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.99 (for meal with large drink and fries)
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Generous helping of real Parmesan. Delicious chicken patty. Soft, decadent potato roll.
Cons: Sauce is acidic and can be overwhelming in large doses. Mozzarella was under melted. Gross green can cheese.

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