REVIEW: Starbucks Toffee Almondmilk Hot Cocoa

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Starbucks Toffee Almondmilk Hot Cocoa

It’s been Christmas season for me since Starbucks released their holiday drinks and cups on November 1st. Yes, I’ve been blasting Christmas music for a solid month now.

So, I was pleasantly surprised to get another holiday surprise when Starbucks released a new festive hot chocolate – Toffee Almondmilk Hot Cocoa. It joins Peppermint, Snickerdoodle, and Salted Caramel on the seasonal hot cocoa menu this season.

While they all sound fantastic, Toffee Almondmilk Hot Cocoa (steamed almondmilk with mocha sauce and toffee nut syrup, finished with whipped cream and Caramel Brulée topping) is the star in this lineup because it’s the first Holiday drink that prominently features almond milk. This means it can be vegan and non-dairy when ordered without the whipped cream — no substitutions are needed like with other Holiday drinks.

But that’s not all when you order now (said in my best infomercial voice), you don’t have to pay extra for the almond milk! It’s usually 60 cents more to substitute drinks with almond milk at Starbucks, but this drink costs the same as all the others! Winning!

In full disclosure, I’m not vegan or lactose intolerant. I eat all meats and drink whole milk, but I do have vegetarian days. I believe the term du jour is “flexitarian.” Oui oui!

Now on to the good good.

When I first received my drink, it looked like a whipped cream wonderland speckled with brown sugar crystals (the Caramel Brulée topping). Naturally, I plucked one off and tried it. It was just sugary and feels like the candy that gets stuck in your teeth – nowhere near as bad as say a Butterfinger though. Its flavor was fine on its own.

I particularly enjoyed my first sip because of the temperature contrast with the cool whipped cream and warm drink. I immediately tasted the chocolate from the mocha sauce, but didn’t really pick up on the distinct toffee nut. I could tell there was a subtle “je ne sais quoi” but I took a blind taste test, I wouldn’t be able to say that it was toffee nut. But as I continued drinking, I almost forgot it was an almond milk hot chocolate. I was amazed and surprised by its richness.

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But, I didn’t love the topping with the drink. When I did get some of the topping in my sip, I didn’t enjoy that it was large enough to require chewing. It also threw the sweetness balance off because the drink itself wasn’t overly sweet or artificial tasting despite the four pumps of sauce and syrup. But the topping pushed it over the sugar edge. I actually liked it better without it.

As whole milk’s #1 fan, I’m overall very impressed by Starbucks’ execution with almond milk (except for their decision to make almondmilk one word). I also love that Starbucks is being extra inclusive this holiday season; this new release is great for vegans and non-vegans alike. It’s officially been added to my Starbucks holiday drink rotation!

(Nutrition Facts – Grande – 280 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of total sugars, 4 grams of protein, and 15 mg of caffeine.)

Purchased Price: $3.75
Size: Grande
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: It’s vegan and non-dairy when ordered without whipped cream. No additional cost for almond milk = winning! Surprisingly rich for almond milk.
Cons: Toffee nut, who? Caramel Brulée topping is gratuitous.

REVIEW: Coke Freestyle 2017 Holiday Mixes (North Pole Magic and Arctic Chill)

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Coke Freestyle 2017 Holiday Mixes

One of the more understated junk food rites of the holiday season has to be Coca-Cola’s seasonal Freestyle mixes. Since they’re not ubiquitously marketed like everything else Coke does, they always seem to sneak up on you as quaint, L-T-O surprises at the local cineplex or friendly neighborhood Burger King.

Well, if you fancied previous seasonal flavors like Secret Santa and Mistletoe Flow, you’ll probably get a yuletide kick out of the latest additions to the Coke Freestyle family – the aptly named North Pole Magic and Arctic Chill.

Aesthetically, there isn’t much to say about either beverage. They both have a pleasant, reddish brown hue, with the Arctic Chill variation looking lighter than North Pole Magic. In terms of scent, they smell practically identical – as soon as your olfactory glands whiff the drinks, the aroma is unmistakable. You’ve got orange, you’ve got vanilla and you’ve got something else that you can’t quite put your finger on for the initial sniff. But that becomes very apparent once the drinks start tangoing with your taste buds.

Coke Freestyle North Pole Magic

We’ll start with North Pole Magic (NPM) because it’s the stronger of the two (both in terms of figurative quality and literal flavor). The beverage tastes pretty much the same way it smells. I’ve read some Internet posts that say NPM is one part vanilla, one part cherry, and one part root beer, but I beg to differ. To these tastebuds, anyway, NPM is one part Coca-Cola, one part orange creme and one part vanilla – in short, sherbet-flavored Coke.

In all my years I’ve never once imagined what a Yabba Dabba Do Orange Flinstones Push Up-flavored Coca-Cola variation would taste like, but I’ll be tickled pink if NPM isn’t one of the most delicious Coke permutations I’ve tasted in quite some time. This stuff is too yummy to be relegated to those bright red touchscreen terminals – Coke definitely needs to put this in bottle and can form come next Christmas.

Coke Freestyle ArcticChill

Arctic Chill (AC) – which is fighting under the less calorie-dense Coca-Cola Zero umbrella – is pretty much the same thing as NPM, except…well, not as flavorful.

I hate to use the term “watered down,” but that’s precisely what AC tastes like compared to NPM. It’s still pretty good, but the Coke Zero taste completely overwhelms the sherbet flavor. In fact, you only get the sherbet flavor as a ghostly aftertaste – almost as if you were drinking a Coke Zero in a cup somebody momentarily used as a holster for a creamsicle for about five seconds. Again, it’s not a bad soda by any stretch, it’s just that compared to NPM it feels like a mild imitation.

Regardless, you really can’t go wrong with either flavor. And Coke definitely needs to be commended for thinking outside the box for these holiday mixes – thank goodness they eschewed the all too predictable gingerbread and

(Nutrition Facts – Not available.)

Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: 20 oz. cup
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10 (North Pole Magic)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Arctic Chill)
Pros: A robust, creamsicle flavor. You’ve got options if you’re trying to count calories. The theoretical ability to combine each flavor with Diet Dr. Pepper and peach Sprite, because Y.O.L.O.
Cons: Arctic Chill tastes pretty watered down compared to North Pole Magic. Only being able to drink the sodas at the movies or while you’re shopping at the grocery store. Wondering how much it would cost to bribe the store to look the other way while you fill up a water cooler jug.

REVIEW: Drake’s Fudge Dipped Devil Dogs

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Drake s Fudge Dipped Devil Dogs

I like my food plain and dry. I eat sandwiches without condiments. Cereal without milk. I credit two things for this strange (according to the world) habit. First, the “Don’t Drown Your Food” public service announcement that ran during Saturday morning cartoons. What can I say, it really stuck with me. Second, the driest snack cakes known to mankind – Devil Dogs. It’s little wonder these cakes are bone-shaped, as in “Dry as a…”

As a child, I took it as a test of my junk food mettle to down a whole Devil Dog (or multiple) without a drink. It was the ‘80s equivalent to the Cinnamon Challenge. Nobody could power through those little Saharas like me. It’s a wonder I survived to adulthood without fatally aspirating a chunk of chocolatey desiccant. Sure, there was a layer of frosting between the layers, but we all know that did nothing to offset the plastic-wrapped drought that is Devil Dogs.

Despite Devil Dogs’ apparent desire to kill me, I love them dearly. They are second only to Hostess Cupcakes in my all-time rankings. But they’ve sat out the recent novelty flavor trend, hence I haven’t paid them much attention lately. So I was delighted to see them re-enter the arena with a new iteration – fudge-dipped. I like it, DD – keeping close to your roots. No garish colors or artificial fruit filling, just more of what you already do well.

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Inside the individual wrappers, I was greeted by the familiar Devil Dog aroma – cocoa-cocoa-cocoa. But a new sensation enveloped my fingers – slightly moist melty chocolate. Like the Ring Dings and Yodels’ shells, Devil Dogs’ new thinny thin covering was body heat sensitive and easily left traces of itself on my hands.

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Compelled by habit, I took the biggest bite possible, expecting the lovely arid velvet to cling to my throat as usual. But three things happened: 1) the fudge coating paved the way for an easy swallow. 2) the cake itself seemed to be slightly less dehydrated – perhaps the chocolate cover held more moisture inside? And 3) the frosting layer was lighter. My memories of Devil Dog filling was a thick, sweet slab. This filling was more like marshmallow – sticky with tiny air pockets. This was a nice change.

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The basic flavor of Devil Dogs was intact – the cocoa cake and the sugary sweet filling. The fudge dip tasted just like Yodels’ and was a logical extension of this classic ‘Dog. The refined textures appealed to the 40+ year-old me who’d rather not eat tiny cakes with the Grim Reaper standing behind me, waiting for his chance.

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Overall, if you’re a fan of Devil Dogs, this is a treat to try. If you can’t handle the realness of Devil “Dry AF” Dogs, you might just be able to take these, with a glass of milk in reach.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cake – 280 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 27 grams of total sugars and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 18.32 oz. box (8 cakes)
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Familiar Devil Dog cocoa flavor and Yodel-y chocolate shell. Lighter, fluffier filling. Not being choked by complete, utter dryness.
Cons: Not being choked by beautiful, beautiful dryness. I can’t let it go. I just can’t.

REVIEW: Star Wars Space Punch

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Star Wars Space Punch

Star Wars is one of the highest grossing and beloved film franchises of all time. While the actual movies are the biggest draw for most fans, the amount of merchandise and branded junk food that have come from the series is unreal.

Star Wars collaborated hard with the fast food industry, creating toys and limited items with Burger King, McDonald’s, KFC, and Taco Bell. They’ve had their own boxes and shapes of Cheez-Its, Pop Chips, and Doritos. They’ve even made their own breakfast cereal and chocolates, and now, ahead of the release of The Last Jedi, they wanna quench your thirst too.

When I stumbled across Space Punch in the grocery store, I was shocked it wasn’t an energy drink. The shape, style, and placement of the cans immediately screamed Red Bull. But upon closer inspection they proudly sport “caffeine free” above the nutritional information, and low sugar to boot.

Star Wars Space Punch 2

The punch comes in twenty different character-specific cans, and choosing one is a feat. Channeling my inner-assassin I had to go with Boba Fett, even though the golden C-3PO looked real fresh.

Rather than get you artificially boosted and bouncin’ off the walls like Yoda in a deep training session, Space Punch aims to nourish you from within with a sparkling mix of vitamins and hydration to achieve ultimate Jedi zen.

So what the hell does punch in space taste like? According to the ingredients, it should taste like blackberry, blueberry, carrot, grapefruit, orange, pear, and raspberry. Wow. That is quite the combo – my brain is spinning and about to explode like the Death Star on a bad day.

Star Wars Space Punch 3

As much as I love the juice concentrates listed, I’m not a big fan of this drink. It has nice light effervescence to it, reminiscent of many energy drinks, but the taste is artificially sweet and akin to liquefied chewable vitamins. The aroma even makes me wonder if I’ve stuck my nose straight into a bottle of Flintstones’ finest.

The blackberry and raspberry notes are surprisingly more dominant than the citrus. But the most prominent taste is that of the primary sweeteners erythritol and stevia. There’s a sharp and unpleasant fake aftertaste that washes out any of the more subtle and nuanced clean flavors of the actual fruit juice, and the blending of the two is not something I want to drink more of.

For what it lacks in taste, it doesn’t deliver that much of a vitamin boost either. It has 40-50 percent of your daily recommended Vitamin B6 and B12, and that’s pretty much it. While it’s a fun idea for collectors and might be appealing to people who enjoy Vitamin Water Zero, I would much rather pop a vitamin with a glass of water, and leave this to fizzle out in a galaxy far, far away.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – 20 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 oz. can
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Awesome collectible cans. Nice tight bubbles.
Cons: Strong fake sugar flavor. Not much vitamin boost. No caffeine. Does not turn you into a Jedi.

QUICK REVIEW: Baskin-Robbins York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream

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Baskin Robbins York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream

Santa is being blackmailed by a candy cane consortium. This cabal holds torrid photos of him chain smoking candy cigars while downing eggnog in underground, high-stakes Candy Land games.

That’s the narrative I have constructed anyhow to explain how a cane-shaped hard candy holds dominion as the de facto peppermint-flavored Christmas treat over chocolate alternatives. Refusing to bow to Santa’s shame-induced minty mandate, Baskin-Robbins is making York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream their December Flavor of the Month. Mini York peppermint patties are mixed with a dark chocolate mint ribbon in mint flavored ice cream.

Packing enough peppermint punch that Baskin-Robbins must have clearcut Mr. Mint’s Peppermint Forest to meet menthol demand. Take that big candy cane! York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream certainly believes in truth in advertising.

Baskin Robbins York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream 2

Mint flavor relentlessly and refreshingly wages a cold war on your mouth while the chocolate mint ribbon adds a smooth, fudgy component and provides a consistent if somewhat muted chocolate note. Once one of the plentiful peppermint patties come into play, the already pleasant experience is enhanced by a crisp snap in addition to the fully present classic flavor.

Despite the heavy peppermint hand, it never crosses the candy colored line into being too much of a good thing. A bit more cocoa flavor, courtesy of surface mining Chocolate Mountain’s chocolatey ore perhaps, would provide a better balance, but that is a minor quibble.

Baskin Robbins York Peppermint Pattie Ice Cream 3

The unfortunate loss of habitat driving a dejected Mr. Mint from a life of lumberjacking to that of figure skating aside, peppermint fans, and York Peppermint Pattie fans in particular, are well served by this satisfying take on the genuine article. Baskin-Robbins makes my nice list for exchanging the questionably ubiquitous candy cane for the underrepresented but delicious York Peppermint Pattie.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Large scoop (4 oz.)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Single Scoop) 300 calories, 18 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

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