REVIEW: Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

Lindt Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Milk Chocolate Truffles

I know there are Santa-hatted zombies who advocate for the head first consumption of anthropomorphic treats. But as gingerbread-based lifeforms are known to bolt at the first sign of milk, I prioritize immobilization.

With no central nervous system, a headless treat may leave your cookie craving unfulfilled. For inexperienced or squeamish cookie eaters, Lindt is offering up Lindor Limited Edition Gingerbread Truffles. Sourced from the finest cuts of cookie anatomy, the classic Lindor milk chocolate shell is infused with gingerbread cookie pieces encapsulating a gingerbread truffle filling.

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The cookie bits add a pleasant grit to the standard and delicious chocolate shell, but all of the limited edition flavor comes by way of the creamy truffle center. As gingerbread cookies are far from creamy in their natural state, liquefying them must be a disturbing transmogrification that only those haunted by the memories of gingerbread houses gone awry can stomach.

The trauma of these tortured souls is evidenced by their Bond-villain like maniacal laughter as licorice bound gingerbread people are slowly lowered into magmatic vats of palm kernel oil.

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Unfortunately, the disturbingly produced core is much sweeter than any gingerbread cookie I’ve eaten and comes across with almost floral notes. These Mr. Big inspired chocolatiers must take particular umbrage with the housewives of the ginger-burbs where saccharin-based Botox is all the rage. A little less literal sweet revenge and a bit more bitter molasses may have produced a better balance and left a few more cookie families intact for the holidays.

While I possess the confectionary architectural aptitude of a blind Fraggle, I hold no ill will towards gingerkind. Even so, Lindor Gingerbread Truffles are worth trying for the novelty, but I will embrace my role as the apex predator of cookie munching interspersed with bites of a standard truffle when the mood for both strikes.

Purchased Price: $5.94
Size: 8.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 Balls) 220 calories, 17 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

Hershey s Triple Chocolate Cookie Layer Crunch Bars

There are certain flavor combinations that are self-explanatory.

Whether it’s in Pop-Tart or donut form, s’mores is going to have elements of graham, chocolate, and marshmallow. While something birthday cake-flavored is going to taste like frosting, vanilla cake, and seven-year-old stale sprinkles.

Triple Chocolate is a bit more ambiguous. I feel like there was a time in my life when triple chocolate meant you were getting blasts of dark, milk, and white chocolate in one bite. Those days are long gone, shattered by internet killjoys armed with an air of self-importance and a Wikipedia link explaining that white chocolate IS NOT chocolate.

Subsequent moralizing about faux white chocolate’s adverse dietary effects, not to mention the gentrification of all things cocoa-related, caused candy companies to shop the free agency market to assemble a dream team of chocolate role players.

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Bittersweet, German, ganache, fudge, semisweet, Mexican, nibs, chocolate marshmallow, and “chocolaty” have all had their five minutes of fame in the trifecta, but for Hershey’s latest take on its Cookie Layer Crunch Bars, chocolate cookie pieces and chocolate crème join the milk chocolate rectangles.

Let’s get this out of the way: The graphic designer doing the box artwork should get a raise because the detail on the box is hardly what you see when you bite into each three-square bar.

For example, the box artwork makes the chocolate crème look like the cocoa equivalent of molten lava, but if there’s any ganache-like viscosity to the crème, Hershey’s must have left it in the factory. To be honest, it’s hard to pick out the crème as a distinct textural element at all.

Thankfully, there is some truth in advertising.

The crème, although chameleon-like in appearance, has a rich dark chocolate flavor that dissolves on your tongue and finishes each bite. It works especially well because it’s a nice contrast to the crunchy Dutch chocolate taste of the cookie pieces, which remind me of Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Cookie Thins.

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As much as I like the cookie pieces and the crème, I couldn’t help but think the bar gets dragged down by the run-of-the-mill chocolate shell. There’s nothing wrong with the taste and texture of Hershey’s milk chocolate per se, but its familiarity and rather pedestrian chocolate taste frame the entire bar in an air of, well, averageness.

Average chocolate shell aside, Hershey’s Triple Cookie Layer Crunch Bars are a cool upgrade from the original bar. It also makes a strong case that triple chocolate (the flavor, that is) should keep cookie pieces and crème around for another season.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pieces – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 6.3 oz. package/9 pieces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Awesome crunchy cookie taste in candy bar form. Chocolate crème gives the filling a rich dark chocolate complexity. Premium aesthetic in the packaging.
Cons: Chocolate crème is underrepresented and doesn’t have the gooey texture it does in the promo pic. Hershey’s milk chocolate feels pedestrian alongside other chocolate elements. The inability of candy and snack companies to assemble a triple chocolate dynasty.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream

Ben  Jerry s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream

The backstory behind Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon Ice Cream is that it was one of the options to replace Late Night Snack when Jimmy Fallon moved over The Tonight Show. But it lost to

After trying Marshmallow Moon and realizing it’s the superior flavor, I began to wonder if The Tonight Dough becoming the official flavor of The Tonight Show was a conspiracy.

So I put on my tin foil hat and took deep dives into ice cream dark forums; watched on YouTube the unveiling of The Tonight Dough in slow motion, sped up, and in reverse; and talked to cows. And the conclusion I’ve come to is that Marshmallow Moon wasn’t selected because it didn’t rhyme well with The Tonight Dough.

Sure, The Mallow Moon-ight Show might’ve worked, but not as well.

Tin foil hat removed and, I’m sure Ben & Jerry’s would appreciate this, recycled.

But now we can all enjoy Marshmallow Moon. Although it’s a limited edition flavor that’s only available at Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shops and the brand’s online store for three or four more dollars than one should pay for a pint.

The ice cream is influenced by the iconic MoonPie and does it without having to mention MoonPie or pay a royalty fee to use the MoonPie trademark. It features vanilla ice cream, marshmallow and graham cracker swirls, and fudge chunks.

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I’ve mentioned in previous reviews how much I love Ben & Jerry’s squishy marshmallow swirl and gritty graham cracker swirl. You could say I’m over the moon with them. Sorry. That’s the only lunar reference I’ll make.

It’s nice to be able to experience both of them with vanilla ice cream, which allows their flavors to shine more than they would with another ice cream base. The marshmallow swirl has a vanilla sweetness that’s different than the ice cream and the graham cracker swirl has a bit of honey flavor. They’re wonderful together and I’m glad my pint has a lot of them.

The fudge chunks, while necessary to complete the whole MoonPie homage, are annoying. Like chaperones at a school dance, I understand why they’re there, but wish they weren’t. Their chocolate flavor overwhelms the other components. I ended up shoving them to the side so I could experience a ménage a quad with the ice cream and swirls.

Ben & Jerry’s Special Stash Marshmallow Moon has the elements of a MoonPie, but since it’s been so long since I’ve had one, I can’t say tastes like it. But it’s a great flavor if you avoid the fudge chunks. With that said, as much as I enjoyed it, I wouldn’t spend $7 to buy it again. But if it becomes a regular flavor I can buy from a grocery store, I’d buy it again.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 290 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Ben & Jerry’s online store
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Graham cracker and marshmallow swirls. Better than The Tonight Dough which is too much of a hodgepodge of ingredients. Looking forward to future Special Stash flavors.
Cons: Fudge chunks gets in the way of the swirls. Only available from Scoop Shops and Ben & Jerry’s online store.

REVIEW: Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Candy canes have two primary purposes. And the new Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes do a good job of fulfilling both purposes.

The first purpose is to be a festive decoration.

The color of a Butter Rum Lifesaver does not exactly conjure up images of Kris Kringle or winter wonderlands. Sia’s new Christmas song “Candy Cane Lane” describes a whole array of candy cane colors, yet brown or tan are not among them.

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Nevertheless, Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes are surprisingly festive and attractive, with a white base and two different shades of gold and brown. It looks way better than it would be if it were one solid rum color.

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It’s not as Christmassy as a traditional red, or even as festive as the multicolored cherry ones. But it would be perfect on a tree decorated with lots of gold ornaments, if that’s your thing. (It’s not mine.) I was surprised to find that the candy canes have inconsistent lengths.

The second purpose of a candy cane is, of course, to be candy. Peppermint is the classic flavor, and my favorite, but lots of people don’t like that, especially children. Kids tend to prefer fruity flavors, but I find them sickeningly sweet and artificial.

These Butter Rum Candy Canes will be a wonderful middle ground and will appeal to adults and kids. They taste like I remember ordinary Butter Rum Life Savers. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I had them, so I don’t know if they’re exactly the same, but if not, they’re close enough. The canes taste like a butterscotch candy, but a little more buttery. (I’m a teetotaler, so I can’t tell you if they taste like rum.)

I never noticed it until I had this variety, but there is a subtle candy cane flavor to most candy canes. I’m not talking about peppermint, but an underlying flavor that is unrelated to whatever the “real” flavor is. Peppermint candy canes have it, fruity candy canes have it, and these Butter Rum Candy Canes have it. Maybe I’m mistaking texture for flavor, but regardless, these definitely belong in the candy cane family.

Since these are true candy canes, they do come with typical candy cane hazards. The colored stripes dissolve faster than the white matrix and create sharp edges.

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Additionally, you can suck them into sharp swords. I associate swords with pirates. I also associate rum with pirates, so it fits.

I’m a mint-thusiast, so I’ll generally stick with the peppermint. But these are the best non-mint candy canes I’ve had in a while.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cane – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 5.28 oz. box
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Butter Rum Life Savers. A tasty middle ground between fruity and peppermint flavors. Looks festive even though it’s brown.
Cons: Typical candy cane hazards of sharpness. Butter Rum Life Savers do not have a naturally festive color.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios

Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios

Every time I see a new banana-flavored product on shelves, my inner Primate comes out. I have to fight the urge to beat my chest like an excited gorilla right there in the aisle.

There’s something about that flavor that always resonates with me. Cakes, breads, candies, ice cream, yogurts, it doesn’t matter – if you make it banana, you’ve got my money.

Sadly, I haven’t tasted many cereals flavored with the fruit. There’s never been a huge market for them, and when they do come out, they always seem to get discontinued. I can recall a few Honey Bunches of Oats types and a Minion one, but beyond that my experience with them are lacking.

Good thing Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios has come to my rescue.

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I wish I could tell you I got a waft of fresh banana bread when I tore the bag open, but in reality, the smell was kinda indistinguishable. I don’t know, I expected more, but to me it wasn’t distinctly banana.

Since these are “banana nut” flavored, I figured I’d try them with almond milk as well as whole milk. I also had Egg Nog, but couldn’t pull the trigger on using that as milk, despite the pleas from the voices inside my head.

I considered mixing in slices of the yellow fruit, but I’m of the controversial opinion that putting slimy fruit pieces in cereal doesn’t enhance it all that much.

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With the first bite, I got hit with cinnamon, but that instantly blended into the banana flavor. Don’t expect anything overly sweet, because this uses real fruit puree, not artificial flavor. (More on that later.)

On the next few bites, I realized this variety may as well have been any Cheerios flavor. It all mushed into generic Cheerios. While there were hints of a great cereal there, it was short lived.

Now I was ready to call Banana Nut Cheerios a big disappointment when it hit me with the hidden ace up its sleeve – delicious cereal milk.

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Let me backtrack. The “whole” milk cereal was delicious. Unflavored almond milk is worthless, especially with cereal. The “nuttiness” did nothing to enhance the flavor. Not only that, it’s more watery than skim, and made for a mundane bowl.

Whole milk, however, soaked into the little O’s and made it come to life. You’d be hard pressed to find many cereals that improve as they sog, but this one bucked the trend. The flavor improved as they settled and the runoff culminated in banana bread-flavored creaminess.

Still, I left a tad underwhelmed. I must just prefer a sugary artificial flavor to natural. I guess that’s the kid in me. I’d be all in on Banana Toast Crunch.

Banana Nut Cheerios are worth a try, but they weren’t better than reliable Honey Nut variety. If you can only afford one box, I’d recommend the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios over these as well.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 12 oz. box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Creamy delicious cereal milk. Decent banana flavor. Nice cinnamon kick. Oatey nuttiness peaks through. The prospects of Banana Toast Crunch.
Cons: Lacked strong banana aroma. Tasted best after the sog. Middle of the road Cheerios flavor. Limited Edition like all banana cereals. There’s no Banana Toast Crunch.

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