Generally speaking, there are three ways companies try to make something better: make it bigger, make more of it, or transform it in such a fundamental way that it becomes something completely different, like the crap direction Disney is taking the Star Wars Universe in.

As you can tell by my feelings on the last option, none of these strategies are foolproof.

Fresh off putting brisket, pork belly, and Bambi’s mom into a sandwich, the people who practically trademarked the plural version of “meat” have set out to transform an Oreo cookie into a doughnut hole.

Surprisingly, the results are pretty good.

Arby’s advertises these as “doughnut bites,” but the texture defies such a simple classification. The bites lack the light shell and spring of a yeast doughnut hole but also the sturdy and firm interior of a cake doughnut hole. Instead, they have a sort of partially deflated volleyball texture.

As horrible as that sounds, the chocolate cures all. The exterior has a warm, moist give that has that characteristic deep flavor of an Oreo wafer and then some. Served hot, each bite reminded me of a chocolate lava cake, while the dusting covering each bite could have been from the bottom of a bag of mini Oreo cookies.

While the deep chocolate flavor nails, and perhaps even improves, the classic Oreo wafer, the crème is about as disappointing as Rian Johnson’s treatment of Luke Skywalker.

“Goo” would be a better way to describe the crème, which is slightly thinner than an Arby’s milkshake. Served warm, it has a kind of melted marshmallow mouthfeel (say that fast 10 times) and a moderate vanilla flavor. But there’s nothing overly sweet about it, which means there’s no dramatic contrast with the chocolate bite. Put another way, the chocolate-to-crème ratio borders on reduced fat Oreo standards —- a far cry from the ideal Double Stuf Oreo we all love.

Complicating things, the goo sloshes around the bite and all too easily squirts out. It creates a Gushers effect in cookies and crème form. All things considered, the crème neither delivers on its own or in a complete bite with the rest of the Oreo elements. It would make a pretty lit coffee creamer, though.

All things considered, Arby’s Oreo Bites do an amazing job of enhancing the deep cocoa appeal of the Oreo wafer. That said, if texture matters at all to you or if you’re a crème kind of girl or guy, the bites are going to fall a little short of expectations. But don’t worry, it’s not quite The Last Jedi short of expectations.

(Nutrition Facts – 330 calories, 190 calories from fat, 21 grams of total fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.49
Purchased at: Arby’s
Size: 6-pieces
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Excellent chocolate flavor combines the best of an Oreo wafer and Devil’s Food cake. Larger than your standard doughnut hole. Oreo dust. Didn’t leave me as disappointed as The Last Jedi.
Cons: Crème is more melted milkshake than actual Oreo crème. Balance of chocolate and crème is out of sync. More expensive than doughnut holes. Accidentally squirting white goo all over my pants.

Like everybody else, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to lose weight (My goal? Drop 20 pounds by March.) Of course, being a professional fast food reviewer, I suppose that means I’m going to have to do double the number of crunches to hit pay dirt.

Thankfully, however, Arby’s is doing its part to provide customers somewhat healthier menu options as 2018 begins, as evident by its recently launched Nashville Hot Fish Sandwich.

Similar in nature to KFC’s Nashville Hot Chicken, Arby’s variation (it’s Alaskan Pollock, in case you were curious) comes speckled with a hearty coating of what tastes like crushed up cayenne pepper. Alas, since the official Arby’s website lists the secret spices simply as “Nashville Hot Seasoning,” who knows what’s really going into the breading process. The quasi-Creole flavor seems to suggest there’s some paprika and garlic in there, too, but again that’s just conjecture on my part.

The fish patty is surprisingly big – so big, in fact, that half of it juts from the sides of the bun like spicy bicycle handles. In terms of overall tongue tingle, it’s at least a five out of ten; hot enough to maybe take an extra swig of soda, but not warm enough to force you to rub a napkin all over your tastebuds to soothe the pain. The fish itself is quite crispy on the outside and pretty juicy on the inside. On the whole, I’d consider it one of the better big name fast food fish patties out there – it’s at least as good as the top tier Gorton’s fillets at your local grocer.

As for the rest of the fixins’, we’ve got a clump of iceberg lettuce, a very nice parmesan peppercorn ranch mayonnaise and not one, but four pickle slices to round out the sandwich. All in all it’s a pretty good combination, although the product would have benefited from a slice of tomato and some kind of cheese (which, interestingly enough, pretty much is the M.O. of Arby’s other ongoing “Hot Fish” offering, the King’s Hawaiian Nashville Hot Fish Deluxe.)

On the plus side, though, the sandwich – as is – is very flavorful and quite filling. Packing less than 600 calories, you’d have to wander far and near before you found a fast food sandwich this appetite-satiating with fewer cals. And, as always, you’re guaranteed lots of fun mixing and matching Arby’s proprietary sauces to see which packet compliments the fish burger best (a weird one, I know, but I thought the Horsey Sauce paired astonishingly well with the newfangled L-T-O sammich.)

The Nashville Hot Fish Sandwich isn’t exactly a bold new sojourn for Arby’s (nor well-traveled fast food aficionados, for that matter) but what it lacks in originality it mostly makes up for in simple, no frills deliciousness. Despite the name, it won’t set the fast food world on fire, but for less than $4, it’s a worthwhile purchase.

(Nutrition Facts – 540 calories, 210 calories from fat, 23 grams of total fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 1000 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 21 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It’s a (relatively) calories-light alternative for burger junkies. The fish is both satisfactorily crunchy and chewy. The parmesan peppercorn ranch sauce is downright fantastic.
Cons: It’s not really that spicy. The lack of cheese and tomato is disappointing. Having to wait until Thanksgiving for the inevitable Nashville Hot Turkey sequel.