REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Blue Hawaiian

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I just learned there’s a cocktail called the Blue Hawaiian, which is similar but shouldn’t be confused with the Blue Hawaii cocktail. I learned about it when looking up what’s in a Blue Hawaii for this review. I apologize for being so uneducated about blue alcoholic drinks. It makes me feel blue.

A Blue Hawaii, invented by a bartender in Waikiki, is made of rum, pineapple juice, blue curaçao, and sweet and sour mix. A Blue Hawaiian, which was influenced by the Blue Hawaii but created by someone somewhere else, is light rum, pineapple juice, blue curaçao, cream of coconut, and lemon juice. However, after scanning recipes and Wikipedia entries, I noticed that the latter has more pineapple juice and a green color.

So, is Monster Energy’s Ultra Blue Hawaiian trying to encapsulate the flavors of a Blue Hawaiian or a Blue Hawaii? With its Smurfy blue color, I’m going with the latter. However, its strong pineapple punch could convince me it’s the former.

Maybe what’s printed on the can will make things clearer.

Whether you’re in beast mode, vacay mode or just chillin’ island style, Ultra Blue Hawaiian will fire you up to be your best! Light, crisp, and super easy drinking with a tropical tiki twist, Blue Hawaiian is a killer combo of exotic Polynesian fruit flavors that are big on taste, but with zero sugar. With a full load of our world-famous Monster Energy Blend, this aloha energy will keep you goin’ and the shakas flowin’ from dawn patrol to last call.

Nope. That was no help.

What isn’t a nope is the tropical/pineapple flavor this has. It’s most definitely a yup and a yum. Also, it tastes better than Monster Energy’s Ultra Gold. In my review of that pineapple-flavored energy drink, I wrote that I wished its fruity flavor was a bit stronger, and Ultra Blue Hawaiian has a pineapple punch that I wished Ultra Gold had. But it’s not just pineapple flavors; there’s also a fruitiness that reminds me of tart blue raspberry. Or maybe its color is deceiving my tongue since the drink comes in the same hue as blue raspberry beverages. Whatever it is, it and the pineapple make this taste outstanding.

Despite being a sugar-free drink, it doesn’t taste like one. I know I keep saying that about every Monster Energy Ultra flavor that crosses my tongue, and I’ll probably copy and paste this paragraph into another Ultra review. However, I can’t help it because I’m still amazed at how a sugar-free drink can taste so good.

Monster Energy Ultra Blue Hawaiian has rocketed to the top of my favorite Monster Ultra flavors list. It doesn’t make me blue. It makes me want to yell, “Woo hoo!”

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Red Bull Pink Edition Wild Berries Energy Drink

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I was wracking my brain, trying to find the perfect song from Alecia Moore, aka Pink, to sum up my feelings about Red Bull’s new “The Pink Edition.” Surely, a pop star with such myriad hits would have something – some song, some lyric – to help me express how this wild berry energy drink made me feel.

Alas, my search came up empty. It didn’t make me want to “get the party started.” It didn’t make me want to “raise my glass.” It was not “(censored) perfect.” I did, however, find the opening “lyrics” of her smash hit, “So What,” appropriate:

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na
Na-na-na-na na-na –
… and so on and so forth…

Nah. This ain’t it.

Now that I got that extremely clunky reach for an intro out of the way, allow me to introduce “The Pink Edition,” which, in an ironic turn of events, is a real snoozefest from Red Bull.

The Pink Edition tastes of “wild berries,” which seems like a flavor profile Red Bull would have tackled by now, but apparently not. Whenever I have something “berry” flavored, I like to try and guess which berries are being used, so I took my first sip without research.

First of all, this isn’t even really pink. It’s more red. It’s too red. Anyway, flavor-wise, I assumed rasp, black, and one of cran, blue, or straw. The standards. Sometimes something crazy happens and brands sneak in a boysen or a snozz, but those are usually the main “mixed” berries.

The Pink Edition smells like Strawberry Jell-o but just kinda tastes like a slightly underripe raspberry. On the surface, that’s not bad, but there was also a strange chaser in there. I couldn’t pinpoint whatever berry it was, so I cheated and checked Red Bull’s official summarization:

“Raspberry and other fruits complemented with exciting herbal notes.”

It’s red, and it’s just one berry. This is literally red bull.

Ignoring how they just hand-waved the other potential fruits, THAT made sense. This has a slight herbal taste to it. It’s not very exciting, but it made me feel a very specific way. As just an everyday energy booster, I wouldn’t recommend this flavor at all. It’s one of the most middling Red Bulls I’ve had in ages.

That being said, if I was sick, I would absolutely love this. I don’t wanna jinx myself, but when I’m under the weather, I live on Ricola cough drops and drink ice cold seltzer almost exclusively. That’s what this tasted like – an herby fruity cough drop melted into a seltzer.

Does that appeal to anyone except sick me? I’d imagine it doesn’t. It’s maybe not as medicinal as I’m making it seem, but that herbal element really leans towards it.

So yeah, not great. Unless you’re a sicko like me, skip it. You’ll probably wanna pour this pink drink down the sink. I wish I had Alecia LESS of this flavor.

Yeah, that’s a bookend, I guess. Hmm, maybe I am getting sick.

Purchased Price: $2.38
Size: 8.4 Fl. Oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10 (8 out of 10 if I had a fever)
Nutrition Facts: 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 26 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Reese’s Filled Pretzels

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As someone who is allergic to chocolate, I’m used to cries of “You can’t have that. There’s chocolate in it!” when I eat Reese’s Pieces.

“Oh, that’s a common misconception, but there actually isn’t,” I always inform my concerned companions. But, I can tell they never quite believe me, even when I point out the ingredients list on the packaging. As soon as I heard about Reese’s new Filled Pretzels with peanut butter filling, I instinctively prepared myself for more of these conversations.

Of course, I’m happy that this is a new Reese’s treat I can actually eat, but I can imagine it causing confusion in chocolate cravers, and I can’t say I’d blame them. After all, the name “Reese’s” is practically shorthand for “chocolate plus peanut butter,” so it’s surprising that they’d make something with only half of the iconic pairing—especially in the form of a snack where it seems like chocolate would fit right in. Even though it’s what allowed me to eat these, not incorporating chocolate feels like a misstep, which is only my first caveat about these pretzels.

The second is that… they’re just not that exciting. In addition to those mildly awkward Reese’s Pieces memories, they also instantly reminded me of the similarly pouch-like peanut butter-filled pretzels from other brands my parents like to keep on hand for long car rides. I’ve always found those pretzels okay but dry, their crackly exterior and dusty filling leaving me with an unpleasant urge to wash my mouth out, even though their flavor isn’t so bad. As it turns out, Reese’s take isn’t very different.

Since the pretzel is hollow to accommodate its filling (which is actually impressively robust for something so bite-size), it’s extremely thin and crispy, closer to a pretzel crisp than your standard hearty fare. Despite being quite careful, my first small bite shattered the whole thing into about a billion brittle shards! I generally prefer a thicker pretzel, but fine, I can accept that that’s not logistically possible in this format. At least the peanut butter makes up for it, right?

Well, sort of. I wanted so badly for the peanut butter to be creamier, but alas, it’s pretty powdery. It’s probably not too different than what’s in a Reese’s Cup, but since there’s a more concentrated amount here and the taste of the pretzel isn’t rich enough to really complement it, the chalky texture is apparent, and therefore unsatisfying. The peanut butter also tastes noticeably sweet rather than nutty. It’s not bad necessarily, but it’s a tad jarring (I audibly said “OHHHH, THAT EXPLAINS IT” when I noticed powdered sugar was one of the ingredients).

The saving grace for me is the salt. While I’m usually a sweet over salty girl, here it compensates beautifully for the lackluster and slightly uncanny peanut butter, adding extra complexity and cravability. The plump shape also helps, as I never got tired of crunching dramatically into it (I’d definitely recommend that over a more delicate nibbling approach, which would just get messy).

These Reese’s Filled Pretzels are certainly preferable to starving on a road trip, but ultimately, I’d never choose them over a bowl of classic Reese’s Pieces—or even just regular old hard pretzels.

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 9 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 7 pieces) 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 240 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Blue Bell Strawberry Toaster Pastry Ice Cream

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An idea does not need to be complex to be brilliant. As evidence, I present Exhibit A: the new Blue Bell Strawberry Toaster Pastry ice cream. This is something that a little kid or Buddy the Elf could have come up with, and yet instead, we, the human race, created mustard, pizza, and pickle-flavored ice cream before this delicious treasure. OK, we can mostly blame Van Leeuwen for that, but still, how did it take us until 2025 to come up with this?

As you probably guessed, I like this stuff. A lot. It almost feels like something I shouldn’t be eating, like when your parents slept in, and you put chocolate sauce and whipped cream on Cap’n Crunch. I know I wasn’t the only one.

The flavor is intensely sweet, as one might expect, because it contains not only strawberry pastry pieces but also confetti sprinkles and swirls of strawberry sauce and white icing. But somehow, it’s not too sweet. This probably would have been quite good with just the ice cream and generic Pop-Tarts, but the strawberry sauce and icing really make it sublime. There’s so much color to this ice cream that it’s hard to tell what’s what, and that makes it a little better because each bite is a surprise. And if you are super impatient like I am and frequently burn your tongue by eating Pop-Tarts right out of the toaster, this ice cream also solves that problem.

I thought perhaps the pastry pieces would get a bit mushy from being encased in ice cream, but they retained a nice firm texture, probably thanks to one of the many ingredients on the label that I cannot pronounce. The sprinkles, besides adding an explosion of color, also provide a bit of extra crunchy texture. After just a few bites this became one of my favorite ice creams.

My only complaint is that this is only available for a limited time and only in pints (no half-gallons). But I’m hoping it proves to be popular enough to at least become one of the recurring Blue Bell flavors, and if I really dare to dream, that a s’mores toaster pastry flavor appears down the road. If not, then I’m going to find the blender that I’m pretty sure I have buried somewhere in a cabinet, put on an elf hat, and start experimenting.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: One Pint
Purchased at: Brookshire Brothers
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Steak Garlic Nacho Fries

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If you hope to keep vampires away with Taco Bell’s new Steak Garlic Nacho Fries, you better have the sun’s power in your pocket because the garlic isn’t robust. You won’t find the pungent ingredient minced on this menu item. Instead, it’s in a garlic ranch sauce that’s combined with seasoned fries, nacho cheese sauce, steak, pico de gallo, and cheddar cheese.

Also, what you’re not going to find at the top of this review is a photo of the chain’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries. That is a photo of the Steak Loaded TRUFF Nacho Fries. Below is a picture of the newest loaded fries.

Look, I know, water is wet, Disneyland is expensive, streaming services will continue to raise their prices, and new Taco Bell menu items are usually slight tweaks of something that’s already been on the menu. I also know the photo above this paragraph isn’t of Taco Bell’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries. It’s actually a photo of its Steak White Hot Ranch Fries.

I’m 99.5% sure the photo above this paragraph is the Steak Garlic Nacho Fries with its lacking garlic ranch sauce. I taste more ranch flavor than garlic, but it needs to be the other way around. It’s a good sauce, but it’s not garlicky enough for my taste buds or to create a pungent aura around me to prevent vampires from entering my personal space.

Other than the heat-less white sauce, everything else was what I’ve experienced with all the other loaded Nacho Fries. It’s a satisfying and tasty pile of potatoes, tender meat, and savory toppings. Although, I have to ask. Does nacho cheese sauce have to be on EVERY ONE of these loaded fries? Look, I know I can customize it to not have the gloopy orange sauce, but does it have to be a default? It adds flavor, but I imagine it also subtracts some of the flavor from the other ingredients, like the garlic ranch sauce, by overwhelming it.

With all that said, my enjoyment of Taco Bell’s Steak Garlic Nacho Fries was on par with the other loaded Nacho Fries varieties that look like it.

Purchased Price: $7.19*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 490 calories, 31 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1200 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), and 14 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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