When I hear the word “shred” I think of a sick guitar solo, or some gnarly snowboarder carving up a mountain. Ya know, epic things like that.

One thing I don’t think of is Shredded Wheat. There’s NOTHING epic about Shredded Wheat.

Until now.

Folks, General Mills made Shredded Wheat epic!

First thing I noticed when I picked up a box of new Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds, besides the long name, was how heavy the box was. At 1 pound, 7.2 ounces, this might be the heftiest cereal I’ve ever bought.

After doing a set of thirty hammer curls, I cracked it open and was met with a smell reminiscent of peanut butter cookies. Epic, indeed.

I popped a few of the cereal pieces dry, which I don’t normally do, and instantly came down from my high. The flavors were solid, and I could imagine these being a decent Chex substitute in a snack mix, but it just reminded me how boring Shredded Wheat is.

Thankfully cereal is nothing without milk. Once that milk hit, guitar solos rang out, and “shred” started to mean something new in my mind. To quote the back of the box – Whoa!

This ain’t your daddy’s Shredded Wheat.

Each cereal piece has a powdery Reese’s Puffs-like flavor coating that was magically activated by the milk. The dry blocks of straw now had a slick flavorful sheen and a slightly softer texture that married together perfectly.

The peanut butter was more prevalent than the chocolate, but that was exactly what I wanted. I can’t stress enough how much better the flavor was with milk, especially the peanut butter.

The flavor held as the cereal sogged but still managed to hold an outer crisp that was less harsh than I expected. A cereal like Frosted Mini Wheats “shred” my mouth, these went down smooth. I’d say they hit their peak after about a minute in the milk. They were still crispity, still crunchity, still peanut…I better stop before I get sued.

The silky cereal milk was also elite. It put me in mind of another product I reviewed and loved –- International Delights Reese’s Coffee Creamer.

I gotta also give it credit for feeling like a hearty meal, unlike other cereals. That clearly has to do with its weight and the fact the calorie count on these puppies dwarf your standard fare. You’re not gonna get “shredded” if you eat these daily, but you will get a nice dose of whole grain.

So, as you can tell, I kinda loved this cereal. I picked up a box of Nutter Butter cereal as well, and while those were excellent, Shreds still edged ‘em out. These are also better than the Jif Cereal and Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios, in my opinion.

I’m not ready to boost them over Cap’n Crunch or Reese’s just yet, but those are 10’s to me, and also have a lifetime of nostalgia on their side.

(Nutrition Facts – 2/3 cup – 230 calories, 50 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 23.1 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious when activated with milk. Some of the best peanut butter flavor I’ve had in a cereal. Substantial breakfast. Good source of whole grain and fiber. Creamy flavorful cereal milk. Rejuvenating the Shredded Wheat brand.
Cons: Nothing special when eaten dry. Some may crave more chocolate flavor. Calorie count is pretty high. Not good for the low-carb in 2018 resolution crowd. Butterfinger took their potential slogan. Pretty lame back of box.

On the back of the Kellogg’s Chocolate Frosted Flakes box, it says, “It’s the gr-r-eatest thing to happen to chocolate!”

I’m going to say being the SECOND attempt at fusing chocolate and corn flakes together in a breakfast cereal that’s part of a complete breakfast is NOT the gr-r-reatest thing to happen to chocolate.

THIS is the greatest thing to happen to chocolate.

Yes, for those of you who don’t follow cereal history, there was previous Frosted Flakes with chocolate, which was also not the gr-r-reatest thing to happen to chocolate. If it was, it would still be around. It debuted in 2011 and was called Frosted Flakes Chocolate or Choco Zucaritas and there was a version with marshmallow, which also wasn’t the gr-r-eatest thing to happen to chocolate.

This cereal’s creation involves a process similar to last year’s Cinnamon Frosted Flakes. The chocolate is mixed in with the frosting and then applied to the flakes using hard work and determination! I assume hard work and determination because all the cereal pieces look like they participated in a Spartan Race.

It smells like Cocoa Pebbles, which is one of my favorite cereals, so it’s off to a gr-r-reat start. While its aroma reminds me of Cocoa Pebbles, it’s not as sweet or as strongly flavored as the rice crisp cereal, which is due to not being completely coated with the cocoa frosting. But the semisweet chocolate used gives the cereal a natural cocoa flavor.

Because much of the underlying corn flake is exposed, it somewhat affects the cereal’s flavor. With the first few spoonfuls, the chocolate doesn’t instantly hit my tongue. Instead, it takes a few chews before it kicks in. Milk helps with this issue after it turns chocolatey because it’s as potent as what you get with Cocoa Pebbles and Cocoa Puffs.

While not as good as Cocoa Pebbles, I have to say Kellogg’s Chocolate Frosted Flakes is as good as or better than Cocoa Puffs. It’s also way better than the previous incarnation of chocolate-flavored Frosted Flakes, which had a weak cocoa punch.

But it still isn’t the gr-r-reatest thing to happen to chocolate, and I’m pretty sure chocolate thinks so too.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup without milk – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.57
Size: 24.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Better than the previous chocolate Frosted Flakes. Natural chocolatey flavor. Makes a strong chocolate milk in the bowl. Second tries.
Cons: It takes awhile for the cocoa flavor to kick in during the first few spoonfuls. Flakes could’ve been coated more throughly. Not the gr-r-reatest thing to happen to chocolate.

It’s incredible and almost incredulous how much the Oreo factory is cranking out. Not only did they just launch Hot & Spicy Cinnamon and Chocolate Hazelnut, but also a whole new line of Oreo Thins Bites.

It comes in three fudge dipped flavors – Original, Coconut Crème and Mint Crème – and one original non-dipped variety. I feel like I need a family tree to keep this all straight (and a bigger stomach).

The first thing I thought of were Mini Oreos. And after trying them, I’ve concluded:

Oreo : Oreo Thins :: Mini Oreo : Oreo Thins Bites

Why not just name it Mini Oreo Thins? Beats me. They have the same diameter as Mini Oreo, but are, obviously, thinner. The fudge-less Original tasted like Mini Oreo and Oreo Thins – same trusty chocolate cookies and crème combo. “Well, duh, Tiffany,” you may say, but I had to make sure!

I then eagerly moved on to the fudge dipped line. The dipped versions hide the distinguishable black and white cookie, but I guess the good thing is that there’s nothing else in the cookie aisle that looks like a tiny, smooth, and edible hockey puck. Furiously shoving them into my mouth makes me feel like I’m the hamster in those tiny hamster eating videos.

I was pleasantly surprised the original fudge dipped one wasn’t noticeably sweeter than the non-dipped one, nor did it make the cookie any less crunchy. The fudge does subdue some of the signature chocolate cookie taste.

What REALLY got me going were the coconut and mint fudge dipped ones. The coconut one is in the same batch of deliciousness as

As for the mint ones, they tasted exactly like Girl Scouts Thin Mints to me (but hamster-sized). So, if you love Thin Mints and want them year-around, here’s your answer! The only thing a bit off-putting is the artificial green color of the crème. It’s also the only flavor where the fudge doesn’t completely enrobe the cookie, so I could immediately see bits of off-putting green.

I didn’t think I would like the Oreo Thins Bites as much as I did because I didn’t see how they would be different from the other Oreo offerings. But, I’m a believer in the Oreo factory!! I even made a “Trail Mix” out of my remaining cookies. While I have to admit mine was all Oreo cookies, I could easily see these taking the place of M&M’s in regular trail mix.

If I had to make one complaint, though, it would be in the words of Ben Stiller in Zoolander – “What is this?! Oreo Thins Bites Fudge Dipped Coconut/Mint Crème for ants?!” Why couldn’t they have made regular-sized enrobed coconut/mint crème Oreo Thins? Guess they have to keep us wanting more.

(Nutrition Facts – Oreo Thins Bites (13 cookies) – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Oreo Thins Bites Fudge Dipped (9 cookies) – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99 each
Size: 6 oz bags
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Oreo Thins Bites)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Oreo Thins Bites Fudge Dipped Original)
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Oreo Thins Bites Fudge Dipped Mint)
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Oreo Thins Bites Fudge Dipped Coconut)
Pros: Coconut is seriously one of the best flavors in any form! Mint Crème tastes just like a Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookie. Mindless, delicious snacking.
Cons: Why are there so many iterations? Family tree may be needed to keep track of Oreo varieties. A little bit confusing with Oreo Mini unless Nabisco is phasing it out. Green in the mint crème is a little off-putting.