Reviews – Page 428 – The Impulsive Buy

QUICK REVIEW: Malt-O-Meal Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch Cereal

Marvo / March 17, 2018 / Reviews / 4 Comments

If you love chocolatey cereals, you should buy this huge bag of Malt-O-Meal’s Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch.

Now some of you might think, if it’s not good, you’ll be stuck with a gigantic bag of cereal. Well, two things. One, they say when life gives you bad cereal, you make cereal treats or milkshakes. Two, this cereal is surprisingly wonderful.

It’s surprising because Malt-O-Meal has this reputation as being an inexpensive generic brand, like Mountain Breeze is to Mountain Dew, and generic brands tend to be not good copycats of the big name brand. Well, two things. One, this cereal somewhat a copycat of last year’s Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Cocoa Puffs. Two, it’s 10 times better than that big brand limited edition cereal.

The crispy corn puffs are made with real cocoa. They don’t taste like brownies, but they have a bold chocolate flavor that makes me go cuckoo for Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch. Sorry, Sonny. The marshmallows are also a little chocolatey and there’s A LOT of them. They have a pleasant squish when in milk. And speaking of milk, what’s left at the bottom of the bowl after all the cereal disappears is a delightful, sweet liquid that must be slurped up.

I’m sad that I’m almost done with the bag of Malt-O-Meal’s Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch. Maybe because I’ve spent so much time with it. There’s so much cereal in this bag that it’s taken me weeks to finish it. Or maybe I’m sad because it’s one of the best chocolatey cereals I’ve had in a long time and I’m going to need to buy an inexpensive bag soon.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample from Post Cereals. But I assure you that receiving it for free did not influence my review, even though it totally reads like it might’ve.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 33.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Received from Post Cereals
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup – cereal only) 130 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Fiber One Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bar

Meghan / March 16, 2018 / Reviews / 8 Comments

Having eaten a lot of stuff from Fiber One over the years, I’ve always felt that it seems to specialize in what I like to call “Dieter’s Delights.” That is, it makes treats that only seem delightful if you’re already depriving yourself of everything else that could even remotely be considered indulgent.

Nowhere is this appeal to the calorie-conscious more apparent than in Fiber One’s new Limited Edition Birthday Cake Baked Bars. After all, what kind of dieter could possibly allow themselves a slice of fiberless, fattening cake, when Fiber One promises to deliver as much flavor and enjoyment for only 90 calories AND with 5 grams of fiber to boot? Being the Birthday Cake queen that I am, I opted to buy the value pack of 12 individually wrapped bars, figuring that these would be right up my alley.

The first thing I noticed about these baby-cake-bars is that they’re small. Like, really small. They’re two, maybe three bites at most, and I actually took a picture of one of them next to a quarter so that you can get a good idea of how small I’m talking here.

Looking at them, I can clearly tell they’re supposed to be emulating Funfetti cake, although the hue of the sprinkles in the bars themselves look noticeably more anemic than they do on the box. The “frosting” (or lack thereof) is a measly tangle of sugar-drizzle that makes me think that my cakes might have gotten caught under a dripping conveyor belt of freshly-frosted Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Size and cake-nakedness aside, they certainly smell delicious! They have a delicate, sweet vanilla scent that reminds me of any boxed mix that you’d be likely to whip up at home. But, at the end of the day, taste is what matters most in any baked good, and Fiber One delivers here. The bars taste like a yummy (albeit tiny) square of yellow cake, and they’re as good as any other snack cake that you would find prepackaged at the grocery store.

They’re a bit on the dense side, but I actually kind of dig that, especially with the crunch of the icing drizzle and the Funfetti sprinkles there to give some variation to the overall texture. I’m still finding the size on these guys to be a problem, though. I find myself wanting to eat three or four to feel like I’ve had a satisfying treat.

Ah, well, since I bought the value pack, I figured that I may as well set about rectifying the size and frosting issues by whipping up a quick batch of buttercream frosting and assembling eight of the bars together into a little Fiber One-inspired cake. NOW this is an indulgence! Diet-friendly? Probably not, considering that my buttercream has three cups of powdered sugar in it. But, delicious? Oh, you better believe it!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar (25 grams) – 90 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.98
Size: 10.6 oz. (12 bars)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: BIRTHDAY CAKE! Calorie-conscious treat! Delicious when assembled into an actual cake!
Cons: Not nearly enough frosting. One bar is just a tease. The resulting assembled cake not being diet-friendly.

REVIEW: Magnum Ice Cream Tubs

Marvo / March 15, 2018 / Reviews / 9 Comments

Update (Late 2018): We also reviewed the newest flavors — Dark Chocolate Mint, Milk Chocolate Almond, and Milk Chocolate Mocha!

Update (Mid 2020): We reviewed two of the latest varieties — Double Almond Brown Butter and Double Pistachio Honey. Click here to read our review

Magnum promotes its ice cream as elegant. I look at its ads and all I imagine are monocle and top hat wearing men and pearl necklace and feather hat wearing women enjoying Magnum bars with their pinky fingers pointing out.

But eating the brand’s new tubs are anything but elegant because doing so involves choking, cracking, and stabbing.

It also involves waiting.

Most times with ice cream, we can pull it out of the freezer, pull back the lid, and dig right in. But, according to the gold foil that top these not-quite-pints, there’s a 10-minute wait before one can first dig into them.

Hey Siri. Set timer for 10 minutes.

Maybe the time is needed to let the ice cream and Belgian chocolate soften. Or maybe it allows us to psych ourselves up for all the violence we’re about to unleash.

Once the time is up, the foil lid says to choke the container. Okay, it says “squeeze,” but that’s what refined feather hat folks would do. Choking the life out of the container and hearing the chocolate crack is what I did, and it’s a bit of a stress reliever.

But the stress comes back after pulling back the foil and discovering that, despite treating the plastic container like Bart Simpson’s neck and the cracking, the top chocolate layer remains completely intact. So now stabbing it with a spoon is necessary. And I had to do that with all four varieties — Milk Chocolate Vanilla, Dark Chocolate Raspberry, Milk Chocolate Hazelnut, and White Chocolate Vanilla.

All this foreplay leads to a somewhat anticlimactic moment. All four varieties taste like I’m eating Magnum Ice Cream Bars, but with a spoon. “DUH!” I can hear some of you yell through your screens. I know. It’s what I expected too. But, while the two types taste the same, these tubs are a better experience.

When I bite into a bar and hear the chocolate shell crack, it’s satisfying. But it’s also frustrating because soon after that bite there’s a very good chance a piece of the shell (or pieces) will fall to the ground. But that’s not the case with the chocolate in the tub because it’s contained. And that’s good because there’s a lot of it. There’s a thick layer on top, a thick layer on the bottom, thick waves in the ice cream, and a thin layer that goes around the midsection.

The thick pieces have a pleasant snap and the ice cream is creamy and flavorful, although I find it to be, texture-wise, too frozen dairy dessert-like.

If I had to pick favorites, it would be White Chocolate Vanilla and Milk Chocolate Hazelnut. No, wait, White Chocolate Vanilla and Dark Chocolate Raspberry. Um, wait. White Chocolate Vanilla and, um, well, let’s just say Milk Chocolate Vanilla was the least exciting, but still fantastic.

To be honest, I’ve never eaten the Classic White Magnum Ice Cream Bar, so I wasn’t sure what to expect with the White Chocolate Vanilla tub. But it reminds me of birthday cake, making it so good. Milk Chocolate Hazelnut is like eating ice cream with smashed Ferrero Rocher balls. It is also so good. Dark Chocolate Raspberry has a sweet and tart raspberry ice cream that goes extremely well with the 65 percent cacao dark chocolate. It is also so good. Basically, if you enjoy Magnum bars, you can’t go wrong with any of the varieties.

So if you’re looking for a cleaner, but more violent way to enjoy Magnum ice cream, these tubs are the way to do it.

(Nutrition Facts – 2/3 cup – White Chocolate Vanilla – 350 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 34 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Dark Chocolate Raspberry – 340 calories, 24 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Milk Chocolate Vanilla – 350 calories, 22 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Milk Chocolate Hazelnut – 370 calories, 26 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.99 each (on sale)
Size: 14 oz. tubs
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Milk Chocolate Vanilla)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Dark Chocolate Raspberry)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Milk Chocolate Hazelnut)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (White Chocolate Vanilla)
Pros: Tastes like Magnum Ice Cream Bars. Cleaner way to eat Magnum Ice Cream Bars. Choking container and hearing the chocolate crack is a stress reliever. Satisfying snap of the chocolate.
Cons: A more violent way to enjoy Magnum Ice Cream Bars. Squeezing or choking container doesn’t crack the top layer of chocolate. Ice cream tubs make portion control more difficult than ice cream bars. Ice cream texture is a bit too frozen dairy dessert like.

Share this:
Facebook
Reddit
Pinterest

Ice Cream Magnum

REVIEW: Arby’s Texas Brisket Sandwich

Mike / March 15, 2018 / Reviews / 4 Comments

Years of Grumpy Cat and Bad Luck Brian memes has proven that the internet is fertile ground for viral ideas. They don’t even need to be true to spread; I hear Scumbag Steve really got his life on track.

Fast food is no exception.

We’ve all heard that Taco Bell gives you diarrhea, that KFC can’t use chicken in their name because they use vat-grown chickenoids, and that Four of the Guys killed and ate the other to gain his power. We know that no one likes Arby’s.

See what I mean? The Simpsons make a joke twenty years ago, the idea goes viral, and the conventional opinion of a fast food franchise is set for decades.

I like Arby’s. It has a consistently good core menu and often has some interesting limited time items. Plus, any franchise with the guts to serve Bambi on a bun gets my support.

One of Arby’s newest offerings is the Texas Brisket Sandwich, featuring smoked brisket, crispy onion strings, dill pickles, and Texas-style barbecue sauce on Texas toast. Arby’s has had success with its brisket in the past. How does this one stand up?

Upon opening, I’m underwhelmed. I understand that “toasted” often needs to be put in quotation marks when it comes to fast food, but I was hoping that this Texas toast would live up to its name and offer a crispy counterpoint to the soft brisket. At best, this looks like it was angrily glared at by a cowboy who’s had his cattle rustled. Or maybe by a fast food patron who was expecting his Texas toast to at least be thicker than regular bread.

On the inside, Arby’s is keeping things simple with just meat, sauce, onion strings, and pickles. This can work when the fundamentals are strong, and Arby’s brisket has impressed me in the past, so I was hopeful.

The first bite is tangy. Very tangy. The sauce dominates every other flavor, and the pickles offer a very unneeded sharp bite at the end. “This is fine,” I tell myself. Any moment now that fatty, unctuous brisket will cut through the sharpness and bring everything into balance. Another bite reveals a mild smokiness, but the brisket itself remains dry and disappointing.

I remember Arby’s brisket being much better than this. Have they changed it recently? The Smokehouse Brisket sandwich was delicious when I had it. Then again, that one does feature copious amounts of cheese and mayo. As a Midwesterner, I admit it’s easy to trick me into thinking that something tastes good with the ol’ add-cheese-and-mayo trick, but I swear the brisket itself was better too.

So, it turns out that Terri and Sherri Mackleberry were right twenty years ago. Arby’s is kinda mediocre, at least with this offering.

(Nutrition Facts – 620 calories, 29 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 1450 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: N/A
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Mild smokiness is pleasing when it presents itself.
Cons: Tanginess doesn’t balance with other flavors. Brisket is dry and missing the fatty element needed to balance the sauce and pickles.

Share this:
Facebook
Reddit
Pinterest

Arby's Fast Food

REVIEW: Good Humor Reese’s Bar

Vin / March 14, 2018 / Reviews / 5 Comments

Who is this Good Humor Man I always hear about?

Growing up, my neighborhood had a Good Humor truck, but the man inside looked like he hadn’t smiled since the Carter administration. His icy demeanor definitely matched the goods he was peddling. Despite the awkward interactions, his sweet siren song never failed to boost my adrenaline levels to Herculean heights. Besides, as unfunny people like myself will always tell you – good humor is subjective.

Now while I was usually a WWF Superstar bar, candy cigarettes, Pixie Stick, and Warheads kid, I did get the occasional Good Humor ice cream bar.

Strawberry Shortcake always seemed to be the popular choice. My mother used to buy boxes of them from the supermarket, and while they’re classics, my choice was always Toasted Almond. (Chocolate Éclair was great, but a distant third and I’ve never had Cookies and Cream.)

I haven’t had one of those babies in ages, so when I saw Good Humor had a Reese’s bar on the market, it was like hearing the Good Humor truck song all over again.

These certainly look the part of a Good Humor bar. I was excited about the prospect of the chocolate and peanut butter crumb exterior, as that was always my favorite part.

I plucked a few crumb pieces off and tasted them individually. They weren’t bursting with the Reese’s flavor I was hoping for, but no big deal. I trudged on and went for a bite.

The look of the ice cream itself was a bit uninspiring. It has a very light khaki color, that resembled cake texturally.

As for the flavor, the ice cream was not nearly as peanut buttery as I had hoped. Not only that, I felt the chocolate almost took a bit away from the already weak peanut butter.

The crumbs enhanced the experience a bit but weren’t as crunchy as I remember them being back in the day. They almost added a “stale” element to the bar to be honest. My memory could just be off here, but the bites felt less satisfying.

Look, you slap the name “Reese’s,” on anything, and I’ll enjoy it. I’d brush my teeth with Reese’s toothpaste if they felt inclined to make it. The Reese’s brand has never let me down, until now.

These aren’t very flavorful. They’re boring – I mean, pretty good boring, but boring.

These bars are one step above eating those healthy ice creams that people on diets pretend is good but actually tastes like ice you chip off the wall of an old freezer.

I’m disappointed a Reese’s product didn’t live up to my standards. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll probably still enjoy these, but I see no reason to recommend them. They’re middle of the road but aren’t better than the Good Humor OG’s. They’re not better than any other Reese’s products, and they’re probably not better than any other peanut butter item in the frozen section, so really, why bother?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Bar – 180 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of carbohydrates, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 6-pack box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Taste like Reese’s light. Still a decent ice cream bar. Ice Cream Truck music. Good Humor memories.
Cons: So many better options out there. Lacking that Reese’s punch. Miserable Ice Cream Men. Subtle phallic box imagery.

Share this:
Facebook
Reddit
Pinterest

Good Humor Ice Cream Reese's